Jackson Pearce Quotes

Here I am, saving your lives, bitten and scarred and wounded for you, and you don't even know it.

So, um, if he tried the fruit... shouldn't guys be having Princess Balls, too? Or Prince Balls, I guess?" I didn't mean the question to be entirely sarcastic, nor did I mean to say "prince balls," but I really want to know why the hell guys aren't stuck in this tomb of eternal virginity with us.

I recognize the look in Silas's eyes
adoration. I furrow my eyebrows and try to shake away the feeling of being punched in the face.

Promise One: Love and listen to my father. This whole time I've been obeying his every word, following all the rules, saying all the right things. But I never did what he really wanted all along.
Because I was never really listening.

The song sounds like the ocean- it rises and falls, notes splash forward and harmonize with the sea behind me.

I hesitate, then put my other hand on top of his. We're partners. Always have been, even when I hate him, when he's a thousand miles away, when he loves my sister ... even when it'd be easier to go it alone for good.

I hurry back to the apartment, wondering how long I've been gone. I push the door open, then promptly drop the frozen peas.
Silas grins at me, shirtless, slightly toned chest glimmering in the sunlight pouring in through the dirty windows. His pants are slung wantonly low on his hips, and I can't help thinking about the drawings I left behind, the way non-Silas's abs looked nearly identical to real Silas's, and therefore everything might look identical ... My face flushes and I exhale shakily.

I look back at Silas, who is adding more sugar to his coffee. "Okay. Fine. One class, but only because I might not get another chance once we're back in Ellison. And you have to promise not to tell Scarlett."
"Only if you let me pay for it," he counters.
"Silas," I say threateningly.
He shrugs. "You and Lett are broke. And besides, if you pay for it, Scarlett will know the money is missing."
"Fine," I say dismissively.
"Great. Let's go get you signed up, then," he says, rising and dropping a few crumbled dollars onto the tabletop. I remain seated, mouth open.
"Now?"
"No time like the present. I suppose I've taken Operation Rosie-Gets-a-Life as a personal mission. It's too similar to Operation Silas-Gets-a-Life for me to ignore." He extends a hand to me, and, without thinking, I take it. My heart rate quickens and I want to pull him toward me.
Oh god. What am I thinking? I pull my hand away again and smile nervously. Silas smiles almost sheepishly. Did he feel the same stirring sensation?

She's forgotten me. It's over. I don't want to see her again, and now I'll have to. I won't be able to help it. I'll have to sit back and just watch her ... live. Without me."
The ifrit shrugs. "Then I overestimated your feelings for her."
My jaw drops. "How dare you? Because I don't want to see that she's forgotten me?"
"No. Because nothing is really ever gone or forgotten. If she's a piece of you, and you of her, then memory is merely an obstacle - our power covers the memory, it doesn't erase it. And I should think, at least based on what I saw in your eyes last night, that it's an obstacle worth going up against.

I wonder if he still hates me," Silas says as the cat edges out from the couch, pale green eyes like little limes in the dark. As if to answer Silas's question, Screwtape takes a flying leap onto his lap and begins to purr wildly.
"I'm not falling for this anymore," Silas says firmly. He moves to push Screwtape away, but as soon as his palms are within a few inches of Screwtape's wild fur, the cat extends his claws into Silas's thighs. Silas winces and muffles a yelp.
"Need some help?" I say, trying to hide my laughter.
"That'd be great," he answered tensely. I hurry over and scoop Screwtape into my arms. The cat instantly melts against me and rubs his face against mine, the scent of catnip on his breath. I crinkle my nose.
"Thanks." Silas sighs in relief. "I can hunt wolves, but it's a cat I can't handle. Not terrible manly of me, is it?"
"I won't tell anyone," I answer with a soft smile that he returns.

Books didn't make me wallow in darkness, darkness made me wallow in books.

Scarlett doesn't want to go to the hospital. Not surprising, really, since we have to come up with an elaborate story about how we all got so severely wounded.
"Dogfight. We broke one up," my sister answers for us as a horrified emergency room receptionist looks at Scarlett's raw, bleeding shoulders.
"Dogs dislike us." Silas shrugs, clutching the wound on his chest. He glances down at the burn wounds on my legs. I think they might scar, but it's hard to say. The receptionist speaks into a walkie-talkie, then lets her eyes travel from the fresh wounds to the ancient scars on Scarlett's body.
"Dogs pretty much hate me," Scarlett says testily. The poor receptionist looks relieved when the ER doctors appear and usher us down the hall.

Please, Jonas. Men got brute strength and size. Women got hot bodies and steel-trap minds. It's our leg up in your little male-dominated society.

I wanted to know what it was like to be a drug addict, and have an eating disorder, and have a loved one die, and fall in love. I saw my friends going through these things, I saw the world going through these things, and I needed to understand them. I needed to make sense of them. Books didn't make me wallow in darkness, darkness made me wallow in books, and it was books that showed me there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Rosie flicks out her second knife and takes aim. It spins out of her hand like a star, straight at the Alpha's chest. But the Alpha knocks it away easily. He raises a clawed hand at my sister and I feel a scream erupting in my throat, recognizing the motion from seven years ago. The swing will take my sister's eye. I storm through the still-transforming Fenris, swinging my hatchet as if I'm hacking at tree limbs. Rosie's eyes widen in horror as the Alpha's claws being to descend. I grit my teeth and force my body forward, now ignoring the other wolves, desperate to reach her.
A roaring scream, all human but as fierce as any Fenris howl, echoes through the parking lot. My head snaps to see its source: Silas is running toward Rosie, hunting knives in one hand, axe aloft in the other. His eyes burn brighter than any hellfire. He swings out just as the Alpha's claws are about to reach Rosie's face, knocking the monster out of the way.

So, did you see that community center I was talking about?"
"What? Where?"
"We walked right past it, just before that grocery store. I mentioned it on the way to the city? You just drop in and take classes. They've got all sorts of stuff. I bet you can get a student rate, even."
"But I'm not a student - "
"You're young enough that they'll assume - "
" - and how am I supposed to find the time to take dance classes, now that I'm the dessert?"
"I'm starting to really regret using that metaphor," Silas says, grinning. "And let me explain something, Rosie." He takes a swig of the coffee and presses his lips together, searching for words. "I'm from a long, long, long, long line of woodsmen. My brothers are all supertalented. They all built their own rooms. For god's sake, Lucas built a freaking wooden hot tub in his bedroom with wooden monkeys pouring water into it."
"Monkeys?"
"Don't ask. Anyway, I can do some woodworking. I know my way around the forest, I can handle an ax better than most, I can make a tree grow where nothing else will, I can live off berries and hunt for my food, and I've known about the Fenris since I could crawl. I'm a woodsman, for all intents and purposes. But that doesn't mean I live for it any more than the fact that you're good at hunting means you have to live for that. So maybe breaking out of the hunting lifestyle for a few hours here and there will help you figure out if it's really for you or not."
I shak

Silas talks about San Francisco, so avidly that I think he's trying to fill the air with words before it can be consumed with awkward silences. I don't know why I feel those silences lurking all around us, but every time Silas and I make eye contact, I can sense them there, waiting to slip in and make me blush. I try to avoid his eyes, stealing glances at his arched brows and bow-shaped lips whenever he's looking away.

When they attack her, I scream until my voice is hoarse so I don't have to hear the shredding sounds.

You're sleeping with someone for a Promise. I slept with Anna because I wanted to at the time. The fact that your mom died doesn't mean your reasons are better than mine or you're better than Anna.

My sister has the heart of an artist with a hatchet and an eye patch. And I, we both now know, have a heart that is undeniably, irreparably different.

I'm sorry, Rosie," Silas says when he sees the sadness in my eyes. I shake my head, trying to brush the look away, but Silas isn't easily deterred. He hesitates, then leans on the counter beside me, moving slowly as if he needs verification that each move is acceptable, wanted.
"Hey," he says, resting two fingers on my arm. It starts as a friendly gesture. I press my lips together as he slides his palm up my arm and around his shoulders. Silas paused, and though I'm not certain, I think he realizes that the touch is far more friendly as well - a thought that makes me dizzy but practically forces me to move my own hand to the small of his back. I close my eyes and inhale, and I feel Silas's breath on my forehead, hear his relaxed heartbeats. His lips are so close to me, I could easily tilt my head back and kiss him if I were braver. It's hard to not sigh, like the exhausted breath is building up in my chest and I'm holding it back, though more than anything I want to release it, to truly hold myself against him -
Scarlett's shower cuts off. Silas snatches his arm away and I lean back up, head swirling from the quick change.
"Um . . . right," Silas says, looking startled. He looks at me. "Okay, back to studying Potentials, wolves, important stuff . . ." He shakes his head as if he's casting away a mental fog.
I bite my lip. I want to get out of here - I need to get out of here, or the thumping desire for Silas is going to consume me. There's no way Scarlett

Making fake promises while wearing a fancy dress ... that isn't enough. Promises take more work than that.

And I have to admit that there is something undeniably fulfilling about hunting with Rosie. Somehow, it makes me feel as if the long list of differences between us doesn't exist. We're dressed the same, we fight the same enemy, we win together ... It's as though for that moment I get to be her, the one who isn't covered in thick scars, and she gets to understand what it is to be me. It's different than hunting with Silas
he and I are partners, not part of the same heart.

what did you think would happen - best case? She'll forget about you when you return to Caliban, you know that. Or do you think she won't wish, that you can stay here with her? That for the rest of her life, she'll put you above getting whatever she wishes for? Even better - that for the rest of her life, she won't slip up and say something like 'I wish it would stop raining'? You can't win this. In the end, you'll be in Caliban. She'll forget you. And whatever 'friendship' you think you have will be gone. Relationships are not for immortals. A bird and a fish may long for each other, but where could they live?

Rosie laughs. She reaches around Silas's neck - he looks taller, older than normal - and twirls the hair at the nape of his neck around her fingers. His arms circle her waist protectively, one hand half hidden beneath her silk shirt as it rests on the tiny, smooth small of her back. Everything about them is silky and gleaming, all smooth skin and shiny hair and languid voices.

Maybe even Mom wouldn't get it - why I doubt. Why I question. Maybe no one can understand what this feels like but me. I touch my neck, the spot where the cross charm hangs on Mom's neck. No one can understand because ... they really don't know any better than I do. No matter what they think, how sure they are they've got everything figured out, they're as in the dark as I am.

Keanu Reeves?" she asks in amazement. I nod. "What did he wish for?" "Isn't it obvious?" I say, waving a hand at the screen. "Fame." "That's why he's famous? Because of a wish?" "Have you seen his movies? Surely you didn't think he made it on his acting skills?" I grant wishes; I don't work miracles. Viola looks back at the screen, eyes screwed up in awe. "I guess that makes sense," she says faintly as my former master delivers a line poorly. "Wow.

Strange how seeing the light can make a person feel so alone in the darkness

This is why Caliban was a punishment. I realize it now - it's a beautiful, perfect world of nothingness. No connection, no longing, no ... love. A world we're trapped in until we're needed here, a world we're condemned to while everyone we might care about forgets us.

I don't know how to bowl."
"Right, that's a problem, since this place really screams 'professional bowling,'" Silas snips back, rolling his eyes.

I think we're always looking for new pieces," Viola says quietly.
What?
She continues, "I was looking for Lawrence, then for something to replace Lawrence, then for Aaron ... maybe that's the real truth about being broken. We're always whole, we're just looking to add on to ourselves, to be more whole. And then when a piece leaves, it's broken away. But we aren't left any less whole than we were to begin with ... "
"But feeling broken - " I begin, the words tight in my throat. I'm grateful that Viola cuts me off.
"Is horrible. Painful," she finishes. "But then, when you aren't expecting it, new pieces appear and suddenly ... they're attached." Her eyes rise to meet mine. "And you end up more whole than you were before.

you don't just start fresh when something has that sort of history, even if there are a few stains.

I am confident, I am capable, and I will not wait to be rescued by a woodsman or a hunter.

We'll go out tomorrow morning, then. First thing," she ventures, more to Silas than me. "Though how the hell are we supposed to hunt? The Fenris certainly can't see my face, and he'll recognize Rosie. We've got no bait, unless you think you'll look pretty in a dress, Silas."
"Okay, one, I would look great in a dress," Silas begins. He turns to lean against the bathroom door, seemingly forgetting that I'm still in a towel. When he sees me, he averts his eyes and flushes a little. "And two," he continues in a forced voice, "you've been luring Fenris on your own for pages, Scarlett. The Apple Time Festival is tomorrow. Perfect place for a Fenris to hang out, even if you don't take into account all the red people will be wearing. We'll go there."
Scarlett nods curtly. No one moves for a few minutes as water continues to trickle off my back and onto the shower floor. Finally, Scarlett gives me another cold look, turns on her heel, and storms down the hall.
"Sorry I got you in trouble," Silas whispers guiltily, his voice the only sound other than the steady pattering of water hitting the tile floor. "I was worried about you when you took off, and then I realized it was probably your first solo . . ."
I shake my head. "I had to tell her eventually."
"For what it's worth," he says, eyes still averted respectfully, "I thought you did great."
"Thanks, Silas." He finally meets my eyes, keeping his gaze firmly on my face. I tug the towel a little tighter.

You need some help, Rosie?"
His footsteps quicken behind me, and before I can respond, I feel his calloused hands on my waist. I accidently slide back against his chest and inhale the scent that has always clung to his whole family - something like forests, damp leaves, and sunshine. I suppose when your father is a woodsman you're bound to carry the scent of oak in your veins. One breath is all I get the chance for, though; he kicks the door open and sets me down on the front stoop, then takes a step back. I turn to face him, hoping to thank him for the help and in the same sentence admonish him for carrying me like a little girl.
Instead, I smile. He's still Silas - Silas who left a year ago, the boy just a little older than my sister. His eyes are still sparkling and expressive, hair still the brown-black color of pine bark, body broad-shouldered and a little too willowy for his features. He's still there, but it's as if someone new has been layered on top of him. Someone older and stronger who isn't looking a me as if I'm Scarlett's kid sister . . . someone who makes me feel dizzy and quivery. How did this happen?
Calm down. It's just Silas. Sort of.
"You're staring," he says cautiously, looking worried.
"Oh. Um, sorry," I say, shaking my head. Silas shoves his hands into his pockets with a familiar sway. "It's just been a while, that's all."
"Yeah, no kidding. You're heavier than I remember."
I frown, mortified.
"Oh, no, wait. I di

Silas nods and turns to back the car up, accidently brushing a hand against my shoulders as he does so.
"Sorry," he says under his breath, like he's whispering in church. I shake my head as Scarlett settles her long arms and legs in the backseat and uses her cloak as a blanket.
Still trying to lean somewhere between the door of death and Silas's shoulder, I stare out the window as we lumber out of town. The road is smooth, hypnotic, with the dotted lines vanishing rhythmically before us. I glance back at my sister. She's fallen asleep, and Screwtape is casting her dark looks, as if she's to blame for his predicament.
I looked toward Silas, trying to appear as if I'm just glancing out his window. Really, I want to study him intensely. He's wearing one of his many nearly threadbare T-shirts, jeans that are soft from washing, wavy hair . . . Everything about him begs to be touched . . .
"You're nervous," Silas says suddenly.
"What? No!" I answer sharply. Am I that obvious?
Silas raises an eyebrow and laughs.
"It makes sense. I mean, you and Lett have lived in Ellison forever." Right . . . right. He's talking about the trip, not my resisting the temptation to fall on him. We're silent for a moment, nearly tangible awkwardness floating around the front seats. Silas drums his fingers on the steering wheel.

And I am more alone than ever before.

You understand," Silas says quietly - the words are just for me, but I know Scarlett hears - "I'm ... when I'm twenty-eight, Rosie. You know what this means. I'm dangerous, Rosie."
"You plan on loving me when you're twenty-eight?" I interrupt, uncertain if my question is serious or not.
Silas's eyes widen in surprise. He turns to look out the taxi window for a moment, and when his eyes meet mine again, there's a beautiful sincerity glistening in the gray-blue irises. "Rosie ... I love you. Now, when I'm twenty-eight, when I'm thirty-five ... I love you."
I exhale. "Okay, then."
"But I'm - "
I put a finger against his soft, bow-shaped lips. "Okay, then.

All I've learned in today's Shakespeare class is: Sometimes you have to fall in love with the wrong person just so you can find the right person. A more useful lesson would've been: Sometimes the right person doesn't love you back. Or sometimes the right person is gay. Or sometimes you just aren't the right person.
Thanks for nothing, Shakespeare.

Those girls have nothing on the March sisters, Silas says, leaning in so close that I can feel his breath on my shoulder. A strange shiny feeling ripples through me and I wheel toward him, accidently ramming my shopping basket into Silas's side. A few Ace bandages toppled to the floor and the girls looked up from their polish dilemma to snicker at me. Nice one, Rosie. I can feel the blush starting as I duck to grab the bandages, and when my hand brushes against Silas's leg, the heat spreads down my neck. Calm down. It's just Silas. I rise and force a smile that I hope doesn't look as goofy as I suspect.

Would I trade that in, give it away for the hunt? I stumble down the stairs of a subway. No. I couldn't trade it in again. Not now that I know what it is to be loved. Not now that I've stepped out of the cave and into the sun.

I can't pinpoint what exactly it is until Silas steps behind my sister and delicately runs his fingers through her hair, his handle gentle as if he's touching a priceless jewel. Rosie blushes as he leans into her and whispers something in her ear that makes her lips curve up in an elegant smile. I recognize the look in Silas's eyes - adoration.

I shouldn't be jealous because it's not real
she's like a math problem, the kind where you got the right answer but didn't show any of your work. She is the right answer, but she didn't get there by going through anything difficult, by questioning, by doubting. She landed there by playing a part, but she's never done the work.
I'm still jealous.

There was something beautiful in someone trying to purchase happiness for a dying woman via a three-dollar box of french fries. I remember hoping that one dally someone would buy me french fries if that's all I wanted, even if he knew they'd be no good in the end.
I remember understanding what love really is.It didn't hurt; it didn't ignore your prayers, didn't seem to not care that your mom was dying. It didn't leave you wondering what you did wrong. Love tried to make you happy, even if it was useless. Love would do you anything to make you happy.

We shouldn't be doing this. We shouldn't have done this. She's my sister."
"Don't say that," Silas murmurs into my hair, voice genuinely pleading. "Please don't ever say that."
"We're hunters," I choke.
"Yes. Of course we are. We're ... we're more ... but ... " He shakes his head and pushes me out to arm's length, lowering his head to look me in the eyes. "I didn't mean for us to hurt her, Rosie, but I wouldn't take any of it back. I couldn't take any of it back - I love you too much.

Maybe all you can do, when your world is burning, is hold on to the thing you love the most.

It is beautiful, it is endless, it is full and yet seems empty. It hurts us.

They want me. I want them. I want this place. I want everything to be simple and beautiful and warm.

How about we go through the festival once before picking a spot?"
"Why?" I ask.
"Because I enjoy apples," he replies. Rosie giggles. "Because then we can go if there's a spot that would be particularly easy to grab a girl from," he answers again, voice serious this time.