J.M. Northup Quotes

Sam heard someone bellow in the distance, but the sound of freight trains running in his ears dampened the sound, making it impossible for him to locate the source of the cry. When he heard it sound again, closer, the voice sounded familiar somehow. He strained to listen past the thundering racket in his ears, only to be rewarded by another holler from the voice. This time, he recognized the voice as his own.

I didn't really comprehend what was happening or how tonight had changed us and the course of our future, but I instinctively knew that things would never be the same again. Something had ended and something was definitely beginning, I just didn't have the knowledge base to know what.

Perhaps I really was disillusioned; unable to see myself for who, and what, I really was. Maybe I really was an ungrateful wretch who just refused to take responsibility for my own actions. Maybe I was lying to myself because I didn't want to admit to being a bad person. Maybe…

Although some part of me knew that it was an impossible future, I allowed myself to be immersed fully in my dream. If I couldn't have this future, I would at least have this moment.

Sitting there, I wasn't convinced I'd survive until that day let alone beyond it. I felt the struggle intensifying between my mom and me no matter what I did to try to stop it. I couldn't imagine a future where she'd just let me walk away from her. As it was, I felt like she was breaking me down a little more each day.

I wouldn't let the old voices dictate me; I wouldn't let anyone dictate who I was anymore. I was strong enough to know who I was and I wasn't going to be beaten down again.

Sometimes I really hated people in general. I wanted to believe in the good that I knew existed in all of us, but it was so disheartening to see what happened when we let our bad over-rule that good.

I was feeling more edgy and uncomfortable as my unquenched desires moved from a feeling of discontent to full blown pain. At first, the sensation was more like an irritation or itch, but the longer I sat there, the more intense it grew. Not only was I burning from the dissatisfaction of my unmet arousal, but my entire body felt like it was on fire. It was as if a billion poisoned needles were being injected into me simultaneously torturing my soul with flames that licked the flesh from my body.

I believe that all things are connected; that we're interdependent on one another. I just like feeling the wind in my hair, the sun on my face, and the earth under my feet. It all nourishes me; my soul anyway.

Regardless of the outcome, I needed to know that I lived my life the way I felt was right and just. I needed to let the past be the past and take people as they were in this moment; the only moment to exist.

People who felt scared or desperate enough could do almost anything, even things that are extremely out of their character to do; things that are not natural to them. When it came to the human condition, it only took one small spark to light an inferno.

As I ran a few blades of grass between my fingers, enjoying the breeze as it caressed my face, I contemplated the cycle of life. As this year would host the long anticipated arrival of the Mayan Doomsday, marking the end of their long count calendar, I wasn't alone in my ponderings. The whole world was focused on the potential that we would be the last generation; the witnesses of the world's end.

My step-dad's rendition of events was uncontested even by me and therefore, it became our truth. Truth I'd never be able to prove or change; truth that protected him from suspicion and penalty. Truth that I now knew was a lie.

Adam delayed only a second longer before traversing into the uncertain future, crossing the hidden divide; the fabric separating worlds. He moved from the shadows that paralleled the town, where unseen lives existed alongside of unsuspecting, oblivious people. With his seemingly mundane act of taking one step forward, he effectively walked from myth to reality.

He had a ruggedness about him that was appealing. Despite his groomed presentation, his chiseled face was shadowed with an attractive scruff of hair. His beautiful smile burned into me, melting me from the inside out while it exposed perfect white teeth embellished with alluring fangs. For a moment, I allowed myself to indulge in the idea of them sinking into my neck. Would it provoke the ecstasy I imagined or the horror I feared?

I fell silent after that. I didn't want to talk about such things anymore, at least today. My chest already hurt and I was trying to keep my mind calm. I didn't want to think of a future so bleak and dark. I had plans for my future and they didn't involve the world ending or society collapsing.

Again, fear makes people do stupid things," I reminded her. "It can even make you do things you never thought you were capable of. If you're desperate enough you'll even believe things you know aren't true.

The sight of a beautiful, naked Amy sliding her finger into her mouth gave Sam a little jolt, she saw. The front of his jeans instantly appeared fuller.
"What have you got baby?" he asked, feigning nonchalance and failing. His eyes had taken on a predatory gleam.
"Chocolate sauce."
He quirked his eyebrow.
"I stole it from Janie."
Sam's mouth twisted. "That's Janie's homemade chocolate sauce?"
"Yup."
"She's going to kill you," he said as he crossed the threshold.
"At least I'll die happy," she responded with a devilish grin.

She's erasing me bit by bit and it's painfully obvious that no one can stop her.

I wanted more than anything to connect to someone. I wanted to feel alive again. I just felt dead inside. I could understand how some people just gave up. This darkness was overwhelming.