David Thorne Quotes

I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism.

In my country, terawatt globes are reserved for police helicopter chases and warning sailors of hazardous shoals. This is despite the fact that practically every living creature there can kill you in under three minutes. Our primary spoken language is screaming.

Charity is detrimental unless it helps the recipient become independent of it.

At one point, Joylene (a large woman from HR with four framed photos of her cats and one of her deceased father holding a trout on her desk) actually stated, "Ooo, I love Excel." Who says, "Ooo, I love Excel."? How is it even a sentence? Each time Joylene had a question, she waved her pen, with a huge rainbow colored feather taped to the end, above her head while making excited "uh, uh, um, uh" noises. "Yes, Joylene?" "If I want my columns color coded, am I able to mix my own preferred range of blues from a palette or do I have to select from the four-thousand shades of blue it already has?" "And that, your Honor, is when the defendant leapt across the desk. I enter into evidence the rainbow feather pen." If there ever comes a time where I'm typing numbers into boxes and decide I'd really like those boxes with numbers to be a specific shade of blue, it will be time to turn off the computer, pack my things, and start a fire.

I was commissioned to write copy for an annual publication produced by Top Tourist Parks of Australia. After a print run of seventy-five thousand and distribution throughout Australia and New Zealand, it was discovered that I had left the letter v out of the word 'dive' and the introduction for a family beach resort activity read, Die with your children. A new world awaits.

that may be a bit of stretch as I'd obviously prefer to play Trivial Pursuit than spend the night in a spider cave or give a hobo a rimjob, but you get the point.

However bad my day is, I can always depend on you to be having a worse one. Misery loves company and with you it's like having a party,

According to Holly, it's like the bank in It's a Wonderful Life but I don't watch black and white movies because I own a colour television and it's not 1945 so I'll have to take her word on it.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to e-mail you the remaining eighty-six photos of my dog dressed as a bear?

Also, I am not sure what you are teaching in your classroom, but Seb came home the other week talking about a healthy eating pyramid. I had to explain to him that pyramids are made of stone and therefore not edible, so I would appreciate your not filling his head with these fanciful notions.

kept gloves in the car so I could stop and take rocks if nobody was looking.

Without a concise set of rules to follow we would probably all have to resort to common sense.

I understand the need for conformity. Without a concise set of rules to follow we would probably all have to resort to common sense. Discipline is the key to conformity, and it is important that we learn not to question authority at an early age.

Opinions are like nipples, everybody has one. Some have firm points, others are barely discernible through layers, and some are displayed at every opportunity regardless of whether the audience has stated "I am interested in your nipples" or not.

It is not necessary to attempt a resolution when it is self-resolving.

Our production manager, Rebecca, sews outfits for her cat Jack. I'm not sure why. I guess she was just sitting around one day and thought, "Fuck this shit, I'm forty and single, time Jack had a Peter Pan costume.

I do not own any camping gear, but this is not a problem, as I have watched every season of Survivor.

Is the guy in the wheelchair in Glee acting or is he a real parallelogram?

Should check the Internet and make sure everything on there is correct.