Betsy Schow Quotes

Our family became spelled after my ancestor pixed off two evil witch sisters. The witches' curse was supposed to doom my great- great- great grandmother to turn evil and torch the world - except the spell wasn't worded right. It didn't spec-ify which Emerald princess. So ever since, all the girls in the Emerald family have been stuck inside, since there's no way to know what generation will inherit the curse.

You never know what you're gonna find under those covers - Grandma or the wolf." Little Red, excerpt from Tales From the Hood

A ferocious growl drew my gaze to the back of the room, where a hairy beast wore a yellow ball gown. I tried to block out the memory of Beauty in that dress earlier this evening.

True love is like a stalactite meeting a stalagmite. Complete opposites, but with time, calcium, and a healthy drip system, they meet in the middle. Or one crushes the other. It really depends.

Someone told me I'd find a princess of great worth here. One with the strength to be the hero this realm needs."
He stared at me with those unsettling blue eyes. They were cold, like ice water - made me shiver from head to toe. Then his gaze seemed to search even deeper. Finally, he looked through me, like I was nothing. In brisk steps, he strode across the marble to the courtyard. But before crossing the threshold, he turned back to glare at me with his lip curled ever so slightly. "It seems she was mistaken."...
I felt my own lip curl in response. How rude! Who the Grimm was this peasant to judge me? I was wearing a Glenda original. Original! Not some fairy-godmother knockoff worn by those servant girls turned royal. I was a crown princess, for the love of fairy, and no one dismissed me.

Thank you for cracking open the barrier, by the way. I've been meaning to stop by for ages but never had the chance until now. It's such a shame I have to kill you. You would have made an excellent villain. After all, you've caused more damage in one afternoon than most henchmen do in a lifetime. And I didn't touch your parents. The blame for their loss lies squarely on your shoulders." She punctuated the your by pointing the mirror in my direction.

First, I spit out a mouthful of dirt. Then, I screamed at the sky. "That's it! I've had it! Everything is trying to kill me! All I did was make one stupid wish. Aladdin made three. I'm the hero of this story, so where's my happy ending, already? It's not fair."

Rexi bent over, trying to catch her breath. "You know what's not fair? Spending Muse Day as a toad just because the kitchen ran out of frog legs. Or being volunteered for this little journey. So build a bridge, then make like a billy goat and get over it already because no one is listening.

Dear Grimm, we're not in Emerald anymore." I started to hyperventilate.

Rexi remained sprawled on her back. She barely opened an eye at my hysterics. "Duh.

I stamped my foot and pointed more forcefully. "Off with you. Courtyard's that way. Be sure to clean those awful boots before coming back in."

"Someone told me I'd find a princess of great worth here.

One with the strength to be the hero this realm needs." He stared at me with those unsettling blue eyes. They were cold, like ice water - made me shiver from head to toe. Then his gaze seemed to search even deeper. Finally, he looked through me, like I was nothing. "It seems she was mistaken.

True, but one makes you a monster. The other one just makes you an idiot. Which one is it?

Snark is a fabulous defense mechanism.

He flipped his spiked tail straight into the air in what could only be interpreted as an obscene gesture.

Rexi duplicated it in human form. "Right back atcha.

And you are a useless princess who knows absolutely nothing of the real world. You would be the very last person I'd choose to chain myself to. But apparently both our kingdoms - no. The whole realm needs this alliance, so what we want doesn't matter. I will do what I have to do, regardless of my personal feelings, and you will do the same. So sit down, grow up, and start acting like the kind of princess your people deserve." He snapped off the last syllable and abruptly let go at the same time so that I stumbled backward.

There is nothing in there that doesn't deserve to get burned

Ow! That…" A little ball of fur chewed on my slippers, not caring that my feet were still inside. I'd never seen another creature like it. It had the auburn- colored body of a lion cub, but it also had nubby horns, wings, and a dragon's tail. Its little black talons scratched at my leg; then it stared at me with accusa-tory ice- water blue eyes.

"No pixing way! Prince Kato?

What manly task may I perform for you?"
"If you care for me at all, you'll slay a dragon."
"Such a simple task to prove my devotion? For you, I will gladly take up this quest. Why, by the age of ten, I had already felled my first ogre.

An ill-worded wish is worse than a curse...

Surely it could not be the same party. It looked like a warzone. The floating chandelier had crashed and shattered on the dance floor, freeing the now- dark floating orbs. People ran madly for the exit. Some were being chased by pickax-wielding dwarves, to say nothing of the ogres. The floor was littered with frogs. Hopefully they weren't enchanted princes, because some of them were getting squished by the mob.

No way. I would rather lick a toad. I would let a wicked old hag bake me into gingerbread before I married this son of a bas-ilisk who had the gall to look amused while I hyperventilated.

Verte was the kingdom's head sorceress, oracle, palace grump, and the only reason I hadn't died of sheer boredom.... One time, I blew up her caudron trying to make soup. In retaliation, she sent me a billy goat that ate my entire closet's contents.