Andy Dick Quotes

I had no blood relatives till I made some.

I grew up Presbyterian, just a basic Protestant upbringing. There were years in my life when I would go to church every Sunday and to Sunday school. Then I just phased out of it.

I wish over the years I had kept my private life private and my professional life a little more professional.

When I was a kid, I was afraid of other kids.

I laugh when I see people in pain. Sometimes I think it is a defense mechanism from childhood, where you're in so much pain you have to laugh. It is a survival mechanism.

I guess I'm odd-looking. I'm skinny. But I'm not only skinny - I'm oddly shaped.

I believed in God my whole life, and then strayed away from it in my teen-age years, until recently.

My parents just neglected me, I wasn't abused or anything.

You cannot be this successful without having God on your side.

I used to steal a lot. But I don't do that anymore, because I believe in karma.

There are atheists and Christians, and there are people in both groups who are a little too heavy-handed.

I definitely know that I play the part, however big or small, in the deaths of at least two people, Chris Farley and Phil Hartmann.

He very nearly stole a scene in my movie, and I didn't call him on it because I was just like, Hey, I saw some stuff on SuperDeluxe and how many different films do you have on there? And he goes, This one, this one, Comedy by Numbers and this one and one called 'Bob Pitches a Movie.' And I'm like, Oh! And then I was thinking he would say, which is very similar to the one to the one I did in your movie, but he never did. I just let it go. I don't care.

Guilt is a weird thing to me. I don't have a lot of it.

There are all kinds of addictions, and I've got every single one. If you set me in front of anything, I will do it until I ram it into the ground and it's done working for me.

I went to network on a handful of pilots, and going to network is the most stressful situation anybody can ever be in. You're supposed to be on point, you're supposed to be at the top of your game, the funniest you can be, in about five minutes, in front of people wearing suits who really don't care, and they've probably already picked their person, but they have to see a handful just to satisfy the process. It's the most horrible, horrible process known to man. I wouldn't want anybody to go through it.

I've always been with God, even in my darkest hour. That is why I say I am alive. I mean, I should have died a number of times.

I believed in God my whole life.

Straight people say, 'You know you're just gay,' and gay people say, 'You know you're just gay.' There is such a thing as bisexual!

I have a spiritual advisor I call up, when I just feel lost. Lately, I've been talking to God. I developed this dialogue in rehab, this dialogue with God, and every day I talk to God.

The Internet is a great place to find unconventional comedy that you can't find anywhere else.

I say, 'I'm bi, my love knows no gender,' and the straight community says, 'Oh right, that's just a cover-up - you're gay!' And the gay community says, 'Yeah right, that's just a cover-up - you're gay.' They both want to push me gay.

People love to hate. I have a love-hate relationship with the world. The world loves to hate me.

I really have to edit myself - I need someone with a censor button around me all the time. I'm just a little unaware of what's deemed appropriate.