Thalia Chaltas Quotes

You've always
been skinny,
always will.
I can feel
each
reclusive
bone
poke through,
the bones of
Embarrassment,
Anger,
Relief.
I push some back in,
but leave
Anger
sticking out.

With all the
dizzy galaxies
hot gases
dust at the speed of light
neutrinos running through
everything,
no matter how powerful someone is
here on Earth
they are just as small as me
to the vast greatness of
outer
space.

I never realized
till now
how hard the brain has to work
to make the body do what it asks.
Or maybe how hard the body has to work
to ignore
the brain.

Not scared.
But excited in that
jiggering-on-too-much-hot-sauce
kind of way
that it's time to
step out
of my old framework,
raw and amorphous,
to become something I've never thought of before.

Then
why don't I tell on him?
If they don't,
why don't I?
Because.
Because I am safe this way,
silent
unnoticed.

Yaicha runs.
He sits down, tired,
and says to mom,
"I'm sorry you had to see that."
Inevitable that he does it.
But he doesn't really want
a witness.

The foam cushions
on the old couch downstairs
disintegrate
daily
in a hush,
like each of us,
small flecks of
hardening puffs
raining mute to the floor
when I flop down to study.
And the more the couch gets used,
the less foam it keeps
someday
just an uncomfortable frame,
springs and other inner workings
exposed.
Silent.

If all this tree is from mom and all this tree is from him
where do I grow my own branches?

Why am I not good enough?
At least he loves
Darren and Yaicha
in some way
even if it's horrible,
he shows them attention
and I am furniture
I get nothing
nothing
nothing
no thing

Or maybe I am just
outside enough,
being the footstool observing from the corner,
that I have a view of reality.

I think that is supposed to be good,
that I get less
from him
but I feel
worth
less.

If I could just open my mouth wide enough
to allow those gagging blobs of truth
their slow, tar-seep passage
up through my gullet,
with barely enough oxygen to keep from
passing out
while they glorp over my tongue,
those truths would reach my teeth,
where if my jaw weren't unhinged,
I might bite them off
so I could
breathe again.