Sydney Biddle Barrows Quotes

I was naughty. I wasn't bad. Bad is hurting people, doing evil. Naughty is not hurting anyone. Naughty is being amusing.

Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn't want your mother to hear at your trial.

George Burns tells a wonderful story about the one time in his life (so he says) he cheated on his beloved Gracie. He was so disgusted and ashamed of himself that he went out and bought her the most beautiful diamond necklace he could find. Gracie was pretty sure she knew what was wrong, but she accepted the necklace and said nothing. Several years passed. One night, she and George were out to dinner and an acquaintance complimented her on her lovely necklace. As George stood there, aghast, she replied, 'Thank you. I wish George would cheat on me again so I could get the matching earrings.

A call girl is simply someone who hates poverty more than she hates sin.

I may be good for nothing, but I'm never bad for nothing.

I ran the wrong kind of business, but I did it with integrity.

If you want an expert on war, you get a retired general. I'm not exactly a general, but I am retired.

We all know food is not just food. It's thoughtfulness, generosity, and, yes, love. It's a way of showing that you care for him that he will understand even better than words.

But what about me? I hear you asking yourself. Why can't he cook for me every once in a while?

A comedian I heard recently suggested that the best way to get a man to cook for you is to get him to associate cooking with danger. Men who don't like to fuss with sauces and muffin pans nevertheless can get pretty excited about grilling meats or chopping just about anything. If cooking involves fire or large knives or a whole fish – preferably all three – he's there.