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he leaned down and pressed his face to my belly.
"You're having my baby," he announced against my skin.
I felt my eyes well up and tears drip down my face. finally. He'd finally said it.
"Sure am," I replied, my hoarse voice belying the nonchalance of my words.
"I'm going to do my best, okay?" he said nervously. "I promise. I'll be a good dad to him."
"You're already a good dad."
But to this baby," he replied, lifting his face and pressing his hand to my belly. "I'm going to be a good dad to this baby."
"I never doubted that."
"I did," he confessed, his head rising to shamefully meet my eyes.
The truth of his words hit me like a ton of bricks, and I finally understood why he'd ignored the proof of our child for so long.
I nodded once, and he nodded back, as if, without words, we were making a pact then and there to take care of this baby we hadn't planned for or wanted.
I'd pushed her aside for so long that there was no foundation to build on. Just a mess of shattered pieces that I'd crushed with a sledgehammer every time she'd grown closer than I was comfortable with.
It's your wayward daughter," I replied sarcastically. "You need to come over to my apartment.
Did Mama leave you all alone in here?"
I picked her up out of bed and rubbed her back for a minute while she hiccuped.
"Daddy's here," I murmured against her bald head, rocking her from side to side. "Let's get that wet diaper off you."
I laid her on the bed and grabbed a diaper from the top of Kate's dresser, talking the whole time. "I don't know what your mommy was thinking, leaving my princess in here all alone," I crooned, my voice somehow keeping Iris calm. "She's outside with your brothers and sister and Daddy's friend Miles. He's a jackass. You stay away from him, okay?"
I smiled as Iris froze, like she was listening intently.
"Daddy was not very nice," I said, pulling her little pants down her legs and unbuttoning her onesie. "I wasn't even there when you were born, and I'm really sorry about that. But your mama came home with me anyway, so that means there's a chance, right? As long as Miles keeps his you-know-what in this pants."
Iris lifted her hand to her face and tried really hard to get it to her mouth, her eyes unfocused as I babbled.
"You're doing so good, princess. Look at you, not even crying while I change you. Such a big girl." I finished re-dressing her and pulled her to my chest. "You think your mama could love me again?" I asked, kissing her little cheek. "Probably not, huh? We'll just have to keep working at it so you can live with Daddy forever.
I love you," he murmured into my mouth. "Best thing I ever did – taking you outta that house. I'd change a lotta shit that came after if I could, but even if I did, we still woulda ended up right here where we are now."
He kissed me hard as he laid me down on the bed.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered … "What'd I do to deserve you?"
"You saved me," I whispered back.
Tell me you love me," he growled … "Tell me you're mine."
"I love you," I sobbed back, wrapping my fists in his hair.
His hips paused, leaving him only halfway inside me before he ordered again, "Tell me you're mine."
"I'm yours. I'm yours!" I pleaded, sliding one hand to his shoulder and digging my nails into his back until he slammed back inside me.
"That's right, baby. You're mine and I'm yours.
Stop," he blurted, his gaze roaming up and down my nakedness. "I think I'm having an out-of-body experience."
"Shut up."
"You're bringing me sandwiches. Naked. You might be the perfect woman."
"These sandwiches are mine, fuckface. Feed yourself," I replied as I climbed onto the bed.
"And the fantasy is gone," he replied sadly.
She's your soft place, son. A man needs a soft place to land when life gets fucked.
Tell me how much you love me."
"More than my bike, less than my dick," he answered with a straight face.
Thank God. Another fuckin' dick in the house. Gettin' tired of all those fuckin' Barbies," he told me, a huge grin on his face. "We got a boy, Mama.
You're such a fucking pain in the ass," Bram gasped, pressing against me as he kissed me hard. "Maybe if I just keep your mouth occupied…"
"Shut up," I bitched, letting go of his back with one hand so I could grip his hair.
Hey, man. I'm Steve," he said, standing to shake my hand. "Hulk," I introduced myself, keeping my arms at my sides. "Is that your real - " his eyes drifted down my chest and he grinned. "Biker name, huh? I get it." "Probably not," I replied flatly.
I knew people would kill to be able to eat whatever they wanted and not gain an ounce- but it wasn't like it didn't irritate me. Maybe I wanted boobs. Waybe I wanted a little junk in my trunk. Maybe I didn't want old ladies to make comments at the grocery store about me starving myself.
My daughter has a mother. She is not and never will be yours. You stay the fuck away from her. And if I ever see you look at her again the way you were earlier, I'll fucking cut your eyes out with a dull spoon.
Motherfucking-super-spermed-son-of-a-goat-from-Ohio!
I couldn't change the past, but hell if I didn't want to be what Kate needed now.
I love you," I said quickly, watching her as she wrapped her arms around her waist. "I know I'm not good at it, but I'm fucking trying.
Me sins are great, and I'll burn for dem. But if ye never believe anyt'in' else, know dat I loved ye more den anyt'in'. Ye were me sanctuary. Me solace in a world gone mad. I'd endure a thousand deat's to go back and ensure ye did not feel one moment of pain.
We were his. It was as terrifying and as simple as that.
I was the princess of the Aces MC, and I had the bloody knuckles to prove it.
You're okay, sweetheart. You're okay. Just hold on, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you.
It's the hottest thing I've ever seen watching you take me. Not sayin' you're a bump on a log, for fuck's sake. You trust me to give it to you. You know I will, and you let me do it. I know you haven't been with many men, but let me tell you, that ain't how it usually is. You're so fuckin' sexy layin' there, sayin' my name, makin' those noises you mkae. Wouldn't trade that for anything.
The testosterone in here is so thick I can taste it - and it tastes like shit.
But a man? He'll make it clear that he stands between his woman and the world, no matter what the consequences are. And then he'll prove it.
I stared at him for a moment, sifting through everything he'd just said and trying to find an appropriate response, but the only thing I could think of was, "Westerns?" "Really? That's all you got?" "Are you sixty-five?" "Shut the fuck up.
I didn't mind that she wanted to make the place ours, but swear to Christ, the FedEx delivery guy was stopping at the gates to the clubhouse so often, I think he was considering becoming a prospect.
She was a contradiction, both vulnerable and incredibly self-assured. She knew exactly who she was and didn't hide from that knowledge, but she didn't like the scrutiny of others.
That was the best thing about this club and something I'd always craved growing up. You might fuck up, but the brothers wouldn't ever act like you weren't welcome. They'd punish you, but then it would be over, forgotten. You'd be back in the fold.
Yeah, okay, Brenna. You wanna pretend like you and me aren't what we are, that's fine. I'm not gonna pretend. I'm not takin' your bullshit either. Baby, I've been waitin' five years for you. That shit's never gone away. So, you can bitch and moan and make your own life miserable, or you can suck it the fuck up and get on the same page with me. I'm not goin' anywhere.
Things were changing, and they had been for a while. So
Okay, this has been fun as a fuckin' turn-your-head-and-cough physical.
For the past couple of nights when I'd lain down beside her, after she'd called asleep and I knew she couldn't hear me, I'd promised her that she'd never have to forgive me again if she could do it one last time.
Fuck Baby, what were you thinking?" he asked me before sliding his mouth down over my nose to my lips. While surrounded by angry bikers, he kissed me for the first time in three years. God, I Loved him.