Michael Rutger Quotes

It's never the world at large you want to prove yourself to. It's someone in particular. Doesn't matter how old you get, you're still hoping for Mom or Dad to kiss you on the head.
And yes, that person should ideally be yourself, just as the answers to all our questions and the objects of our quests should most likely be found within our own souls. But they're not. We need more. Someone or something bigger than us. A magical other.
And that's why we reach for the gods.
Or for someone to love.

The thing that has kept me from going crazy at certain periods in my life is the ability to let the future be.

It doesn't matter how deep you bury an incriminating letter in the trash, it's still there. It doesn't matter how far you push a body back into a tunnel, either. That's still there, too. Even if it has been destroyed, it's still there. You know this already. You'll have bodies stashed in tunnels of your own. Things you've done, mistakes you've made, secrets you hold - the guilt you carry for moments that stick out in your past like black stars in the firmament of your inner life. The outlier occurrences. The anomalies. The events you look back upon in disbelief, wondering how the hell they could have come to pass, and if they can be made to fit in a story you are prepared to own. But the truth is you get where you're going not through the long forgettable years of sticking to the path, but through the moments when you wander off it. It's the things that don't make sense that reveal who you are inside. The anomalies make you who you are. That realization will not make you feel any better about them. Time may help you turn a blind eye, but guilt is the stain that never goes away.

...aliens are never the answer to any sensible question.

She considered throwing the phone to the ground, stamping on it. But what a pain it would be to get a replacement. That's how you know you're a grown-up. You only allow the emotions that are convenient. You carry on.

That's nice."

"It is. And so I did not tell her that I'd written most of it while taking a shit. My point is neither you nor I know what will matter to the audience in the long run. The truth? Who gives a fuck? The Bible's full of utter cock and there are ten thousand wankers out there using it as an excuse to behave like total fucking arseholes. Same as the Koran and the Talmud and probably whatever the fuck it is that Buddhists get their spells out of. But on the other hand there's been millions of people, over thousand of years, who've got through the day because of that bullshit, or had their heart lifted, or looked at the world differently for ten minutes.

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Nobody gets through life without being an asshole...Once in a while you're going to dig in over something and get it wrong and make a scratch on the world you'll never polish off. Those scratches will define you more than anything else.

I stepped into the passage.
I was aware of...a reluctance. Nothing major. Not a big don't for God's sake go in there siren. Merely a note of caution, spiraling up from the deep back brain, a little like the feeling I'd had while sitting along early the previous morning.