Lesley Kagen Quotes

Things can happen when you least expect them so you always gotta be prepared. And pay attention to the details. The devil is in the details.

My arms were covered in scratches and had bled a little so I licked my finger and cleaned them off and thought God would have done a better job if he made blood taste like Three Musketeers bars.

His mean justified his end.

[Joseph] and the Virgin Mary got turned away from the inn and had to go sleep in the manger. (Not with the manager, like Troo says.)

And he shouldn't have talked to Mama in the hurtful ways he did neither. Calling her despicable names because she wanted to do things her own independent way instead of his. He uses his silver tongue like a sword. Nicking away at your heart, cutting word by cutting word. Maybe silence really is golden.

Troo hits the hay every night like a bale falling out of our old barn loft.

Ethel Jackson was the cool side of my pillow when I had a fever.

All my nose is picking up on is the smell of green alfalfa hay and baling twine. I check with Keeper to see if he's sniffing up either hide or hair of Sneaky Tim Ray since my dog can can whiff dubious intentions from an acre away. People can hide their badness from one another, but the scent of wrongdoing is pungent and unmistakable to our four-legged friends.

I know some first-class Negroes. I also know some second-rate white people.

I know from vast experience that fear talks a lot louder than courage. I need to listen to that other voice inside me, that faint one that's struggling to be heard.

If only.
You got to admit, standing alone those words are pretty awful, but married together like that, they must be two of the saddest in the English language.

Most things in life sound better than they are except for blackmail.

Eddie's ma, that would be Mrs. Callahan, her husband got killed last winter over at the Feelin' Good Cookie Factory. They had an open casket at the funeral so you could see dead Mr. Callahan, who hadn't looked that great in life and looked even worse in death. Especially after that cookie press got to him. But Mr. Becker from Becker Funeral Homes had done a nice job fluffing Mr. Callahan's face back out again so he ended up looking like one of those waxy mannequins that you pay a dime to see up at the Wisconsin state Fair.

Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer... If one of those bottles should happen to fall, there'd be how many bottles of beer on the wall?

Even though I'm still torn about the way I dealt with Mama's disappearance and more than likely will meet my Maker, being so, I am dreadfully certain about one thing. First impressions? They can be dead wrong.

Clearly, Nell was going crazy. (Well, she certainly had the hair for it.)

If we could find Sara's body, we'd probably get a reward and our pictures in the newspaper like Mary Lane did when she called in that fire she set.

When you least expect to recall something, a memory can pop up like an uninvited guest on your doorstep.

Troo's a little in front of me bouncing a red rubber ball that she 'borrowed' from the playground shed. She's warming up to play that A my name is Annie and I come from Alabama with a carload of apples game. When she gets to the letter f, her name will be Fifi and she will come from where else but France. I refuse to repeat what she will have a carload of.

People can be so cruel to the different.