Ian Pattison Famous Quotes
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Cancer gets a bad press but, fair do's, it's a truly egalitarian illness, unlike those stuck-up bastards ME and motor neurone.
Have you ever wondered what it would be like', he said, 'if we could tear down the dividing walls of every house in the street? If we could see folk the way they really are after they stop talking their crappy garbage about the weather and go in and shut the door? Have you ever wondered that? If you ask me', he said,' every bastards half mental'.
In the fifties there were no paedophiles. There were only simple honest-to-goodness child molesters.
There's a funnel up his arse and a breeze between his ears. All the same I suppose his guess is as good as ours y'know? All he knows is 'shut up and keep going'. I mean, I for one, I can't make any philosophical advance on that. I mean, honestly - can you?
See the bints? They might be soft on the outside, but see on the inside? They've got hearts on them like Hygena worktops.
Christmas carols? Oozy, squeezy, treacly middle-class propaganda crap!
Once you realise you're never going to be a somebody, you have to kid yourself that being a nobody can still be interesting.
Do you want to buy a bloody flower or don't ye?
Aye. As a matter of fact I'll take the whole soddin' bunch.
Aye well, good. It's time you treated m'Ma better.
Oh, they're not for your Ma, son. These are for you.See because I'm gonnae ram them doon y'delicate bloody Karma hole!
Y'cannae see can ye? Y'know who christened you lot the 'underclass'? The same sinister bastards that changed Windscale to Sellafield...they're nuthin' but a lot of jumped-up fascist bastards!
Listen you here to me boy. The only way this book is gonnae turn you intae a tall, Aryan god, is if you stand on the bloody thing.
No, forget love, the best we can hope to mould, given the poor Play-Doh of humankind, is a capacity for tolerance. This is achievable since tolerance is little more than indifference with a Dulux coat of manners. Surely we can manage that? Call me a dreamer but I can see a world where people of all races, creeds and colour will live together in harmony because they don't give a toss about each other.
This is what you get in life. Wee flannel-arsed naebodies sittin' behind a desk tryin' to make you sweat in your stool. And see when they do? Y'can feel the wind-up key take another turn in your back.
Now you lady, you can go an' run your arse up a cheesegrater
