Dave Allen Famous Quotes
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I don't go out of my way to be outrageous, I just go out of my way to look at things.
A good storyteller never lets the facts get in the way.
A very important part of the Irish way of life is death. See, if anybody else anywhere else in the world dies that's the end of it, they're dead, but in Ireland when somebody dies we lay them out and watch them for a couple of days. It's called a Wake. And it's great, it's a party, a send off. The fella is laid out on the table and there's drinking and dancing and all the food you can eat and all of your friends come from all over the place and they all stand around the wake table looking at you with a glass in their hands looking at you and they say "Here's to your health". The terrible thing about dying over there [Ireland] is you miss your own wake. It's the best day of your life. You've paid for everything and you can't join in. Mind you, if you did you'd be drinking on your own.
Dave Allen
I can't stand the temptation, wanna touch but I don't know
Shiny bright and squeaky clean - pretty little things I love them so
Pretty things are kind of wicked - make my sick heart feel so glad
I'm sure that nothing so pretty could be bad...
My church accepts all denominations - fivers, tenners, twenties.
This is the story of a man who always made the wrong choice. He could have had either two jobs; he picked the dead end. He could have married either of two women; he picked the nag. He could have invested in either of two businesses; he picked the one that went bankrupt. Finally, he decided to abandon his old life, to change his identity and start again. He goes to the airport and finds he can get on either two flights; he chooses the plane with the engine that explodes over the Atlantic. So, he's in mid-air, in an airplane struggling to stay aloft, surrounded by panicking passengers. He goes down on his knees in prayer and begs, "St Francis, help me!" The Heavens open, and a divine light floods the cabin. An angelic voice asks, "St Francis Xavier or St Francis of Assisi?
