Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quotes

If someone were to drop a little bit of leftover testosterone on the ground, and I couldn't find the owner and there weren't any trans people around, and it was about to go bad, I would probably take it, in the interest of preventing waste. That would just be sensible.

As my friend Julian puts it, only half winkingly: "God blessed me by making me transsexual for the same reason God made wheat but not bread and fruit but not wine, so that humanity might share in the act of creation.

There is a certain type of beautiful boy who plays Ultimate Frisbee and invites you to come watch his game," I said, "not because he is vain and self-centered, although he maybe is, but because it is the only way he knows how to invite someone to share in his particular joy, and I think maybe the only thing I have ever wanted is to be a very beautiful, very dead, gentle boy that everyone gathers around and looks at.

Everyone with a lick of sense loves Morticia, but what is Gomez Addams, besides "an obviously transsexual man"?

Even if I never read another book, I'm still a person with intrinsic value, and later I'll be a river.

Chapter Eleven: In Which I Interview Every Man Who Refused to Walk Through a Door I Held Open for Them Before Transition and Inform Them that They Are Retroactively Gay Now

And yet: how many times in my own life have I thought, wrongly, The feelings I feel now toward the object of my affections are so blindingly obvious that it is as if I am carrying around the beaming lantern from a lighthouse inside of my chest. How could anyone not notice? When of course no one has noticed.

Kids, Daddy used to have the greatest rack in the tristate area.

Nobody is asking me to apologize for anything, but I still want to, if only for the pleasure and the sweetness and the release of being forgiven.