Daisy Prescott Famous Quotes
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I need to stop thinking about peeing. I should focus on dry things.
Like California's drought, month old Christmas trees, British wit. And my vagina while listening to the world's most boring date mansplain to me about his fantasy football club.
He's probably used to women throwing themselves at him or curling around his massive frame like a sloth in its favorite tree.
I'm closer to a sloth than I am a stripper. Give me a cozy pair of fuzzy pajamas or a onesie instead of a thong and deathtrap platform heels any night of the week. If I had to choose a vice, it would be sloth. Not lust.
Unless the lusting is after cake.
Or Ryan Reynolds.
Or Ryan Reynolds with cake.
No, I really do like the way babies smell. It's like laundry fresh out of the dryer." "Only the dryer is a vagina.
Think good thoughts. Or maybe conjure up your perfect guy, I try to list all of the things I want in a guy. Smart. Funny. Chivalrous. What? Mr. Darcy is hot. Great, now I'm thinking about Colin Firth and he's like my dad's age. So wrong.
