Clifford Riley Quotes

Ninja Assasins Incorporated, Dan Cahill speaking. Who would you like offed today?

Dan opened the Zippo and lit the fuse.
It hissed for half a seconds, then the rocket shot screaming away.
Crack!
"Over there!" One of the kidnappers shouted.
Amy started to rise. "Let's go!"
"Wait," Dan said, aiming the second rocket. "It's a two-part plan." He lit the fuse and the rocket shot off in the direction of the would-be kidnappers.
"Auuuurrrrgghh!"
"Run now!" Dan said.
Amy and Dan burst from the dumpster and scrambled for the entrance of the lot. Looking behind him, Dan saw that one of the kidnappers was frantically fanning his butt, which was smoking slightly.
"Part two was completely unnecessary, wasn't it?" Amy yelled as they ran.
"Yup!

Luke Cahill liked to keep a close eye on things, even if he'd been dead for over three hundred years.

Come on," she said, smiling for the first time since she'd stepped on the plane. "We need to get to the bus before Ian plugs his iPod into the speakers."
Dan shuddered. "I'd rather face a thousand Vespers than listen to Beethoven.

Honestly, what was the point of being the leader of the most powerful family in the world if you couldn't even get your little brother to behave like a human being?

Where'd you get that lighter?" she demanded.
"Frida," Dan said, closing it. "She left it behind. Remember how she was always talking about outdoorsy stuff? She said she kept a water-resistant lighter on her at all times, in case she needed emergency fire."
There was a short beat of silence in the dumpster.
"Huh," said Dan. "Except probably now.

Some spy," Irina scoffed. "Perhaps you can post photo to Internet and ask your Bookface friends to confirm.

Grace has way weirder people than me coming in and out all the time," Dan said. "You, on the other hand, are as boring as it gets. If Grace is worried about anyone cramping her style, I'd point to the gloomy nerd reading about Chucklesky."
"Tchaikovsky. He composed the score for the ballet The Nutcracker."
Dan thre his hands up. "How am I supposed to get any better at making you sound like a loser if you just do all the work for me?

Ian Kabra had charm, wealth, and stunning good looks. But he couldn't move one stubborn cow out of the middle of the road.

And you used my heart as a Kleenex," Nellie sang. "But you're the one full of snot!

There are boys who will make you cry, and then there are boys who are worth spending your fabulous energy on.

It was a miserable thing, to be responsible for breaking your own heart.

I'm throwing out this bottle rocket."
"No, wait!" Dan said, reaching for it. "It hasn't been set off yet. Don't waste it, Amy. And we don't have company coming - we have Ian Kabra coming. And I know you want to totally impress him and take him to the movies and stare dreamily into his eyes - "
"I do not," Amy said, too quickly.
"Oh, Ian," Dan said, pressing his lightsaber to his chest and batting his eyes. "Tell me again about your shiny, shiny shoes.

I'm going to hang up now," she said quietly.
"Fine."
"Good-bye, Ian," she said.
He paused again. She thought she heard something like a sniff or a choke, but it was probably the sound of him tearing up his plane ticket. "Good-bye, Amy."
She hung up the phone: Dan and Nellie were quiet.
"Well, think about it," said Dan. "Did you really want Natalie Kabra as a sister-in-law?

He looked back at the mirror. "I know it's completely ridiculous, but I can't keep quiet about it any longer. Your closet looks like it was put together by a blind nun, and your brother acts like a cross between a monkey and a go-kart, and you have the social skills of a rock. But I like you, Amy. Quite - quite a bit." He paused. "So, congratulations.

There stood Dan alone, with a ninja mask pulled over his face. Fifteen hissing bottle rockets were pointed right them.
"Screaming bottle of death-jutsu!" Dan yelled.