BinYamin Gulzar Quotes

He was exhausted ,tired to his core ,
The 'weight' of the world was crushing his soul!
He carried so much ,
Within him , for so so long .

"Beast of burden" - that's what he was!

His rugged face filled with battle scars
That only 'he' could feel
The "smile" he wore was a 'helmet' ...

Waiting for his breath to escape for good
Praying for his final relief.

The thread of shattered hopes covered us with the masquerade of betrayal. As always we will start picking up the pieces of our worthless life, scattered over the last 150 days in the hope of deliverance. With so many of us blinded for life ,some of us taken away for life all together, (you broke your promise once again), And I shall close the eyes of my conscience so that I don't introspect about the distrust,
long term suffering we will have to endure ,for we will always remain the nation of the suppressed!

Promises and lies!!

In the stillness of my mind , I surrender to a place I call "my own"....Where everything that I see ,is real ,and every thing that I don't ,doesn't exist!

Yet , in that very stillness I find my mind drifting in search of solace and when I open my eyes ,I find myself in the Elysian Fields of my existence !

Losing the plot again to the rhetoric called "Azadi".
Trapped in a "Status quo"of fragmented reality , we eroded the seeds to our future.(yet again).
Somehow (I) forgot that -
Actions have consequences. Non actions have "deadly " consequences too & turning blind eye to something so obvious will eventually produce the generation of "vision less society". (Literally and figuratively).

60 days of hyper delirium. 60 days of insatiable pain and we are, where we were! . The cruel fact is that the truth exposes the ugly side of us so deeply, that we find solace in the last defence hiding behind the carefree facade of this never-ending insanity.

I thought that you could hear all my unspoken words.....for I misunderstood the language of my own love was so intense and your ears were so brittle!

Our freedom walk is adorned by the schools that we have burned, embellished by the eyes that no longer see and haunted by the wails of half widows that we left to be damned! Let go. Be free.

The self centred disregard for anything living outside of me , is pure solipsism. One may feel the world is pure evil but its " I " who filters the thought through "my "own un - coping mind, seeking complete annihilation of the world for my own self relief !

For me not to be insane , I had to be either sedated by my " happy pill" or be activated by my hyper work mode. These were the only two responses my mind was known to react. Everything in between was a mundane distraction. A numb bliss , that annihilated everything rational that ever existed in my universe.

The cruel truth exposes the ugly side of us so deeply that we find solace in the last defence hiding behind the facade of our insanity.

Dragging ourselves through the slides of pseudo reality , I have seen (us) craving for that " fix".

Glued to the small screens ,
Alike an "event horizon" ,
transporting us to other dimension ,
contemplating likes !
Obsessed with over cropped out images of our ex lovers lover,
Self contemplating and filtered obsession ,
who is getting fat and who all broke their back ,
Look at my carefully orchestrated life!
Ain't I clever ???

Look ,how much fun I had in the party!
.....look at how well liked I am .?!

I want all my 5000 fake friends to know that this is what fun is and I swear, I am ,having a good time!!!

Am I brave enough? What is brave? Is bravery counted by the medals, proudly on display on a soldier's uniform or is it in laying down your life for something bigger than yourself. Is bravery in holding tight or letting go? For some, bravery is in standing against the world for your Principle …. For me bravery is living each day of my life for the sake of something greater than myself.

Killing children in kashmir is LEGAL while
Fighting for basic human rights is ILLEGAL.
I think it's time , all of us collectively did an introspection at what is RIGHT as Opposed to what is LEGAL.

The pain makes you so numb,
At times, you feel as if you are hallucinating,
Seeing things happen to you as if it were happening to someone else like an " out of body experience".

How could life be so cruel?

Is this what perseverance and enduring pain is all about;I ask myself ?
Somehow I have made myself believe that
" jumping off the cliff " or
" drowning myself "
would do nothing to ease this "pain " ! this " numbness "!
Seeing my loved one suffer after I am "gone" , I guess ,will make me more and more anxious ;
Angry "ghosts " don't make good " providers" , I assume.
So I carry on ..
I carry on every day .
It's a weight I have ...
It makes my heart sink to the bottomless pit ,
But
Then again,
a man like me; a giver & a man with no choice has " literally" no choice" but to " live with this hollowed numb"!

I am so lost in the lost road ,
I chose this on my own ,
I emptied all that I had ,
All that I have left within ,
is emptiness - a void that refuses to fill.

How can I be alone in a room ,filled with a million souls ?
How can I stay hungry after feeding hundreds of homes ?
How ?
Is this the pain of letting go and raising towards transcendence
- Where I leave all my worldly pleasures and seek union with the One ?
-Or is it a bout of lucidity , that I am all by myself , carrying on ,
paying for the sins of others and living "BUT" for myself....
-an everyday stagmata where the pain is so numb, that the the body ceases to exist ?

The greed manifests us in many shapes,
The high rise building,
a big house ,
deforestation,
no land to grow and
no land to feed our own,
Our very own People !

The money was deadly than any plague,
People bought and sold people
like a commodity !
and then ,
They divided us ,
according to our flawed faith.....
The stench of ignorance fills the air,
nestling at the base of our cortex .

I refuse to be conquered !

The agenda was all clear from the start,
Prospect of the land;
they would rather see us disappear,
Sold for seventy five lac a 100 years back,
It's seventy five million wounds and every day to cry !!

We are a " numb nation "
We are a " slave nation "
&
I refuse to be conquered !!!

...and it's that time of the day when the fatigue sets in.
No, not the physical type of fatigue that goes with a stretching of limbs
or a session in my sauna ~
which in fact is sparkling signifying it's existence for sheer aesthetics rather that practical use!
It was that mental fatigue ,
when my soul was exhausted and weary;
that I needed a shot of Gatorade;
just to calm my nerves,
stopping me from hallucinations
and let me fall asleep!

And then the very next day it was a weekend and every one forgot about the little boy who was 7 feet under for the price he paid to be born in the land of infidels , and life as always ....carried on with the stench of dead conscience . Period

I'm a Kashmiri ,
I live in a rogue place.
I'm surrounded by conformist ,
boot licking ,
people pleasing "herd"!

People
Safely cocooned in their stereotypical conformist lives,
maintaining status quo ,
they make generic responses
expecting generic answers!

For someone with an alien mentality like 'mine' ,
I am an out cast !
But it's 'them' who are the eerie one ,
like the deadly malignant tumour
feeding on its own people ,
A parasite,
growing inside the system!

Superficial faces ,
powdered with lies and deceit ;
people ,
like controlled robots,
In love with their own ignorance !!

By sheer faith the walls of Jericho had fallen , after they were encompassed for about seven days, while,we weren't able to achieve the " so called " attainable freedom of mind ,within 7 prolonged months !

The question is , do we have the faith alive in us or alike everything tangible ,we lost it somewhere while creating a momentary deception amongst us ?

Life is a solitary confinement ,
Every second is a punishment
- of a crime , that was never committed ,
Or perhaps,
- the biggest crime of my age , is the silence of the soul.

You suffer silently
- as a sacrificial lamb to be slaughtered
- for a cause that is greater than your own existence !
They label you as a hero ,
- a super human with super human strength .

Yes , indeed .
The wars you fight every day
- every moment with your demons , and of course the price of being a hero !
Solitude ,
- A gift from god
- A curse on your own self.