Adam S. McHugh Quotes

Introverted seekers need introverted evangelists. It's not that extroverts can't communicate the gospel, either verbally or nonverbally, in ways that introverts find appealing, it's that introverted seekers need to know and see that it's possible to lead the Christian life as themselves. It's imperative for them to understand that becoming a Christian is not tantamount with becoming an extrovert.

Because introverts are typically good listeners and, at least, have the appearance of calmness, we are attractive to emotionally needy people. Introverts, gratified that other people are initiating with them, can easily get caught in these exhausting and unsatisfying relationships.

Answers are too often held in a closed fist, fingers wrapped tightly around them. They can isolate us and keep us in the same place, leaving us wondering why no one else is coming to us and our conclusions.
Questions balance on the tips of your outstretched fingers, open and welcoming, inviting fresh possibilities and refinement. Questions move you toward the world and toward community, drawing other into them and you into theirs.

When introverts go to church, we crave sanctuary in every sense of the word, as we flee from the disorienting distractions of twenty-first-century life. We desire to escape from superficial relationships, trivial communications and the constant noise that pervade our world, and find rest in the probing depths of God's love.

Though introverts look calm on the surface, our brains are bubbling with activity, and thus we require less external stimulation than extroverts.

A hurting person is in a storm. They are cold, wet, shivering, and scared. Preaching, platitudes, and advice will not get them out of the storm. Don't tell a person in a storm that it's a sunny day. There will likely come a day when the clouds part, but it is not today. It's not your job to pull them out of the storm. It's your job to get wet with them.

Introverts often prefer writing to speaking, because writing uses a different neurological pathway in the brain than speaking does.

We define ourselves in relationship to Christ: who we are is how we relate to him. The Son, sent by the Father, lives in us through the Holy Spirit, and we can't truly meet ourselves until we meet him.

We cannot find freedom in our introversion until we embrace our primary identities as sons and daughters of God.

In a team setting, leadership is shared by a community of people, which counters the tendency for pastors to form congregations in their own images.

Anger is a strong, protective emotion that can help us through a difficult situation. But it's also what's called a "presenting emotion," meaning it often shows itself first but underneath it are more vulnerable emotions, like hurt or sadness.

Anger's second purpose is to usher us into the deep emotions underneath it and to give us clues as to how we can be healed... this is a matter of asking questions.

The AHEN principle helps shape your questions...
What am I feeling?
What is the hurt beneath the anger?
What is the expectation beneath the hurt?
What is the need beneath the expectation?

Our slower pace of life, our thoughtfulness, our spiritual and intellectual depth, and our listening abilities are prophetic qualities for the evangelical community, calling us to a renewed understanding of God and a fresh reading on the abundant life Jesus came to give us. Yet because of the extroverted bias in many of our churches, introverts are leading double lives. We are masquerading as extroverts in order to find acceptance, yet we feel displaced and confused. We are weary of fighting our introversion, and we long to live faithfully as the people we were created to be.

The verbal tool of exploring mystery together is not confrontation or preaching but dialogue. We subject ourselves to the same questions we pose to others, and as we traverse them together, we may arrive at surprising conclusions we could never have reached when simply trying to defeat one another's logic. Our questions are open ended, granting the other person the freedom to respond or not to respond. The questions stick with us, even haunt us, long after we ask them, and we await insight together. The process is more important than an immediate decision.

Hearing is an act of the senses, but listening is an act of the will.

Introversion and shyness are not synonymous. Introversion is a natural personality trait where we go inside ourselves to process our experiences. Shyness, on the other hand, is a condition marked by fear or extreme anxiety in social situations.

A church that is self-focused and insular is a social club, not a church.

One of the most unexpected findings of my research was that introverted pastors felt very comfortable preaching, irrespective of congregation size. Many of them actually considered it their biggest strength and favorite part of the job. They found that their natural tendencies toward study, scholarship and writing translated into effective preaching and teaching.

Others are able to mediate the gentleness of Christ to us when we are not able to be gentle with ourselves.

When introverts are in conflict with each other ... it may require a map in order to follow all the silences, nonverbal cues and passive-aggressive behaviors!

We could paraphrase "repent and believe" with "close your ears and listen." Obedience has both a stop and start to it. We turn our backs to the old voices and offer our attention to Jesus' voice.

We desire for God's voice to crescendo in our lives, with the competing voices fading away. This means that we must ruthlessly silence the calls of other masters. We confess our auditory rebellions to others, since somehow moving the jaw in confession seems to unplug our ears.

The listening life is based less on the content heard and more on relationship with the One who speaks. Like Elijah, we can even come to listen for the silences, because God's silences have a different texture to them. His silences are full. When they come, we know that the story is not over.

Listening and silence are not necessarily the same thing, but silence is a really good start.

While extroverts commonly feel loneliness when others are absent, introverts can feel most lonely when others are present, because ours is the aching loneliness of not being known or understood.