Aaron Goldfarb Quotes

I was always just there. In a perpetual nihilistic malaise of ennui and lots of other SAT words.

An English major is like being in a book club that costs $40,000 a year, has only annoying people in it, offers no refreshments at the meetings, and where people actually read the books.

Soooooo, trying to grow a beard?" Nope. Just checking out on life.

Alcohol is decisiveness juice. It's also bad idea punch, intellect intoxicant, insolence nectar, fighting fluid, boastfulness booze, smartass sauce, injury water, aggressiveness aqua vitae, felony-committin' firewater, and, of course, maybe above all else...depression drink.

Let's be serious, I wasn't a jack of all trades. I was just a jack-off of none. A hubristic fool who lived in my mind, certain I was better than everyone. An irredeemable asshole that for some reason people tolerated and occasionally even liked.

I'm haunted by demons but they aren't very potent demons. They're lazy, failure demons just like their possessor.

You see, the one thing the government and a lot of voters don't seem to understand is that you can't turn a failure into a success just by giving them a little "free" money. Creating programs for them. Failures can only become successes by hard work and shit.