Waffle Quotes

Our children may save us if they are taught to care properly for the planet; but if not, it may be back to the Ice Age or the caves from where we first emerged. Then we'll have to view the universe above from a cold, dark place. No more jet skis, nuclear weapons, plastic crap, broken pay phones, drugs, cars, waffle irons, or television. Come to think of it, that might not be a bad idea. ~ Jimmy Buffett

You want waffles?" I tried to keep the skepticism from my voice. "No firstborn or a pot of gold?"
"I'm not a leprechaun, Sam. And what would I do with a baby?" Her eyebrow shot back up, and she crossed her arms. "I want waffles. Take it or leave it."
I glanced at Brid, who was staring at Ashley shrewdly.
"Let's talk numbers," she said. "Are we talking, like, twenty waffles all at once? Or a waffle a week for six months? What?"
"Every day for two years," Ashley said.
"That's outrageous," Brid sputtered. ~ Lish McBride

I have always loved Waffle House. It's been like an oasis in the desert many times late at night after one of my concerts. ~ Trace Adkins

Most men have boxes in their waffle that have no words. There are thoughts, but they don't always translate into words. Not all of the wordless boxes have thoughts, however. There are actually boxes in the average man's waffle that contain neither words nor thoughts. To help relieve stress in his life, your husband will park in one of these boxes to relax. ~ Bill Farrel

Track coach Bill Bowerman decided that his team needed better, lighter running shoes. So he went out to his workshop and poured rubber into the family waffle iron. That's how Nike's famous waffle sole was born. ~ Jason Fried

Now, see," Wes said, nodding at my plate, "this is going to blow your mind."
I looked at him. "It's a waffle, not the second coming. ~ Sarah Dessen

You know how sports teach kids teamwork and how to be strong and brave and confident? Improv was my sport. I learned how to not waffle and how to hold a conversation, how to take risks and actually be excited to fail. ~ Emma Stone

That twat is a few syrup pouches shy of a waffle. You shouldn't trust anything she says. ~ Jessica McHugh

Life is too short to wonder where you hid your waffle maker. ~ Paula Deen

The one thing I hate about other managers is waffle that is nowhere near the truth. I would never conduct myself like that. ~ Alan Pardew

You're smart and sexy. You're prudent and courageous. You're a good girl and a bad girl. You're a waffle girl and a Napoleon cake girl. I've told you before that you can have it all. You don't have to put yourself in a box, Grace, because you're already the whole package. -Ethan Castle ~ Stephanie Draven

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap. ~ Mitch Hedberg

You have to be pretty tough to be an actor, and you have to be pretty certain what you want. You can't waffle through this business. ~ Anthony Hopkins

The last time I had sex," I said, "was Halloween."
He nodded slowly. "That was my birthday."
I choked on my waffle. This was getting worse and worse. "No!"
"Why do you think they called me 'Poe'?" I had always guessed it was because he was morose and taciturn and creepy.
"Um ... because 'Hotstuff' was taken? ~ Diana Peterfreund

The menu is spectacular. Passed hors d'oeuvres include caramelized shallot tartlets topped with Gorgonzola, cubes of crispy pork belly skewered with fresh fig, espresso cups of chilled corn soup topped with spicy popcorn, mini arepas filled with rare skirt steak and chimichurri and pickle onions, and prawn dumplings with a mango serrano salsa. There is a raw bar set up with three kinds of oysters, and a raclette station where we have a whole wheel of the nutty cheese being melted to order, with baby potatoes, chunks of garlic sausage, spears of fresh fennel, lightly pickled Brussels sprouts, and hunks of sourdough bread to pour it over. When we head up for dinner, we will start with a classic Dover sole amandine with a featherlight spinach flan, followed by a choice of seared veal chops or duck breast, both served with creamy polenta, roasted mushrooms, and lacinato kale. Next is a light salad of butter lettuce with a sharp lemon Dijon vinaigrette, then a cheese course with each table receiving a platter of five cheeses with dried fruits and nuts and three kinds of bread, followed by the panna cottas. Then the cake, and coffee and sweets. And at midnight, chorizo tamales served with scrambled eggs, waffle sticks with chicken fingers and spicy maple butter, candied bacon strips, sausage biscuit sandwiches, and vanilla Greek yogurt parfaits with granola and berries on the "breakfast" buffet, plus cheeseburger sliders, mini Chicago hot dogs, little Chinese take-out containers of ~ Stacey Ballis

I'm a love-it-or-hate-it person. I don't waffle. ~ Mindy Grossman

Even for the most excitable preacher, there was nothing inherently sinful about a waffle. ~ Simon Schama

Lady and gentleman, when my parents left Korea with nothing but the clothes on their backs and the considerable wealth they had amassed in the shipping business, they had a dream. They had a dream that one day amid the snowy hilltops of western North Carolina, their son would lose his virginity to a cheerleader in the woman's bathroom of a Waffle House just off the interstate. My parents have sacrificed so much for this dream! And that is why we must journey on, despite all trials and tribulations! Not for me and least of all for the poor cheerleader in question, but for my parents and indeed for all immigrants who came to his great nation in what they themselves could never have: CHEERLEADER SEX. ~ John Green

My name is Draco Malfoy. I'm here to turn myself in. I'm a hardened criminal and I'm sure Ronald Weasley would be only too happy to take my statement."

He presented his wand and the woman took it before handing him a badge that read: Draco Malfoy, Hardened Criminal

"If you'll wait over there, dear, I'll summon Mr. Weasley for you."

Draco shrugged, not much caring one way or another. He could keep breathing and cataloguing his regrets as easily in Azkaban as anywhere else.

Weasley seemed to waffle between being pleased as punch and calculatingly suspicious. "Why are you turning yourself in?"

"My close proximity to the Savior of the Wizarding World infected me with sunshine and happy thoughts. I found my inner Gryffindor and it told me to repent."

"Fuck you, Malfoy. Why are you really here? ~ Dysonrules

What the heck is this, a trivet?"
"I AM WAFFLE FACE! ~ Van Jensen

After splashing icy water on their faces and rubbing them fiery red with one of the rough sweet-smelling towels, they came in and took their places at the big kitchen table. This morning the table wore a bright red-and-white checked cloth and a pot of red geraniums. Mrs. Campbell handed the girls their plates, each with a slice of ham and half of a crisp, tan waffle. ~ Betty MacDonald

Only then could he have a sad waffle with no syrup on it for breakfast. He didn't think his mother made them properly: rumor in the village had it that waffles weren't supposed to be gray. ~ Delilah S. Dawson

A fair proportion of each teacher's day is frittered away on pointless paperwork and bureaucracy...In my long experience ,meetings rarely achieve anything useful;they consist of of hours of endless,tortuous waffle and no decisions about anything. ~ Frank Chalk

Even the hash brown section of the Waffle House menu reads like a serial killer-to-do list: Smothered, covered,diced, and scattered. ~ Jim Gaffigan

Isn't it weird," I said, "the way you remember things, when someone's gone?"
What do you mean?"
I ate another piece of waffle. "When my dad first died, all I could think about was that day. It's taken me so long to be able to think back to before that, to everything else."
Wes was nodding before I even finished. "It's even worse when someone's sick for a long time," he said. "You forget they were ever healthy, ever okay. It's like there was never a time when you weren't waiting for something awful to happen."
But there was," I said. "I mean, it's only been in the last few months that I've started remembering all this good stuff, funny stuff about my dad. I can't believe I ever forgot it in the first place."
You didn't forget," Wes said, taking a sip of his water. "You just couldn't remember right then. But now you're ready to, so you can."
I thought about this as I finished off my waffle. ~ Sarah Dessen

The dead are the best listeners in the world. The corpse takes it all in, never interrupts, doesn't criticize me, lets me waffle on for as long as I like. ~ Darren Shan

I believe in numbers. The ones you can see and the ones you can't. The real and the imaginary, the rational and the irrational, and every point on lines that go on forever. Numbers have never let me down. They don't waffle. They don't lie. They don't pretend to be what they're not. They're timeless. ~ Amy Harmon

You should eat a waffle! You can't be sad if you eat a waffle! ~ Lauren Myracle

I am faced with a bruising dilemma: pay to fix the dishwasher or continue serving everything in waffle cones. ~ Dana Gould

My current option was a Waffle House full of cheerleaders and a guy dressed in Reynolds wrap. ~ John Green

At least she was creative. Whoever heard of an angel calling a coven leader a magic-stealing twat waffle? ~ Deanna Chase

Did it?" said Harry in surprise. "Sounded like a load of waffle to me." "There was some important stuff hidden in the waffle," said Hermione grimly. ~ J.K. Rowling

They were as done as our Waffle King after the Cow Incident of '97. ~ Alessandra Torre

Do that, and the best you can hope for is that people will ignore you. More realistically, you'd be skinned alive, or possibly sentenced to ten year hard labor writing microcode for waffle irons and toaster ovens. ~ Scott Meyers

Took the G out yo waffle, all you got left is your ego. ~ Donald Glover

Doug appeared, clad in an Affliction waffle-knit tee and True Religion jeans. It was 2006, so this was a sign of great success. ~ Mindy Kaling

The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but 'What am I reading for?' Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a ... waffle waitress. ~ Bill Hicks

Can you please stop talking so I can go back to enjoying Daniel Craig's outrageously good body?" "That's so gay," JP said. "I'm a girl," said the Duke. "It's not gay for me to be attracted to men. Now, if I said you had a hot body, that would be gay, because you're built like a lady." "Oh, burn," I said. The Duke raised her eyes at me and said, "Although JP's a freaking paragon of masculinity compared to you." I had no response to that. "Keun is at work," I said. "He gets paid double on Christmas Eve." "Oh, right," said JP. "I forgot that Waffle Houses are like Lindsay Lohan's legs: always open. ~ John Green

Though her husband often went on business trips, she hated to be left alone.
"I've solved your problem," he said. "I've bought you a St. Bernard. Its name is Great Reluctance. Now, when I go away, you shall know that I am leaving you with Great Reluctance!"
She hit him with a waffle iron. ~ Charles M. Schulz

Fortunately the bad guys had the tactical intelligence of a waffle iron, so the hero was able to outsmart them by ducking behind some rocks, then putting his hat on a stick and holding it ~ Dave Barry

Oh God, I'm fucked. So, so fucked. This isn't flying, this is the art of dying, and the one person who got me into this mess is gone.

I guess I now have my answer to that stupid "rhetorical" question: if a friend asked you to jump, would you?

Apparently, twat-waffle that I am, I would. ~ Laura Thalassa

Julian walked over to the first dead guy, staring down with unabashed fascination. "Do you know how long it's been since I had to deal with corpses? It's been ages. I almost felt ... legitimate." He said the word with a shudder. "You never kill anymore, Leo. And Ben and Chase are far too lazy. Wolf, you're my new favorite. You get an extra waffle tomorrow morning. ~ Sophie Oak

To me, my idea of what's good is to drive here and go to Waffle House, get a couple of eggs and a waffle. When I see the first Waffle House, I know I'm in the South. That's good. ~ Neil Gaiman

I love the smell of Waffle House; it's the smell of freedom, being on the open road and knowing that ninety percent of the people eating around you are also on that road. Truck driver's, road-trippers, hangovers
those who don't live that monotonous life of society slavery. ~ J.A. Redmerski

I've always liked Belgian waffles, but I must say, I didn't think I would one day be having Belgian waffles in Belgium! I just sort of POOF found myself there and there I was with a gigantic Belgian waffle in my hands, standing on a sidewalk in Belgium! ~ C. JoyBell C.

Don-Keun was a new man. The moment they arrived, he vanished for a second. We heard muffled ecstatic screaming coming from somewhere in the back of the Waffle House kitchen, then he reappeared, his face shining with the kind of radiance usually associated with religious epiphany. ~ Maureen Johnson

You pussy-whipped douche waffle. ~ Jamie McGuire

my wife's wishes." ________ A light rain sprinkled the streets late the next morning as Rick crossed the traffic-laden street from the hotel. After settling into a Waffle House booth, he ordered pancakes and scrambled eggs and a ~ Barbara Ebel