Vibrators Quotes

My imagination plus Vibrizzio is not only equal to but also greater than a real man. Why should I settle for second best? ~ Nicki Elson

Penises belong in bathrooms, vibrators belong in bedrooms. Everybody knows that. ~ Elizabeth Finn

Sometimes I forget how much I like riding the bike."
Most chicks do," I said. "Roar of the engine and so on."
Murphy's blue eyes glittered with annoyance and anticipation. "Pig. You really enjoy dropping all women together in the same demographic, don't you?"
It's not my fault all women like motorcycles, Murph. They're basically huge vibrators. With wheels. ~ Jim Butcher

Women get consumed. Not surprising, considering the sheer amount of traffic a woman's body experiences. Tampons and speculums. Cocks, fingers, vibrators and more, between the legs, from behind, in the mouth. ~ Gillian Flynn

What do soy beans and vibrators have in common? They're both meat substitutes. ~ Supervert

We had another game where he was the doctor making a house call and I was the proper Victorian lady besieged by hysteria (also known as sexual frustration) which could only be relieved by a paroxysm (also known as an orgasm) the doctor brought on with either his hand or my vibrator. (At first Quinn didn't believe me when I told him that this actually happened in history, and that vibrators were, in fact, invented by doctors whose hands were cramping up from flicking sexually frustrated Victorian beans all day long, but I swear to God it's true. Just another one of those fun facts stored up in my brain.) ~ Melanie Harlow

I was trying to figure out a way to tell him his love mayonnaise had mad skills and no one at this table could stop talking about vibrators. ~ Tara Sivec

Vibrators. I think they are great. They keep you out of stupid sex. I'd pitch them to anybody. ~ Anne Heche

Get a little hysterical, Juliet. I mean that's why vibrators were invented, right? ~ Gabby Rivera

Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn. ~ Madonna Ciccone

So, um, where's your broomstick?" he countered, his face turning pink from his effort at not laughing.

"Broomsticks are *sooo* 1695," I replied, rolling my eye. "Modern witches use vibrators and drop acid just like everyone else."

"What?" He frowned, looking confused.

"Yeah, *flying on broomsticks* equals a big-ass euphemism for pagan women getting their freak on with broom handles greased up with morning glory butter," I said. "Sometimes strychnine. Not a good idea, but hey, back in the day they used to think a wolf's testicle wrapped in a greasy rag was a good barrier contraceptive. So, yeah, no broomsticks for me. But thanks *ever* so much for asking about my sex life when we've only just met. ~ Lucy A. Snyder

I don't like corpses in that way unless they've been reanimated," said Jack. "Corpses are incapable of offering informed consent, and are hence no better than vibrators." "I wish that didn't make so much sense, ~ Seanan McGuire

Vibrizzio? You named it! Okay, this isn't even close to healthy. ~ Nicki Elson

When it comes to sex: some men treat women as objects; some women treat objects as men. ~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Anyway, thanks to Bob, that Christmas, my mother bought my grandmother and myself both vibrators. Now, as unusual as a gift like this sounds, you have to admit that they are the ideal stocking stuffers. I mean, you can fit the vibrator into the long top part of the stocking and still be able to get another cute little gift in the toe.
Well, I have to admit, I enjoyed mine but my grandmother refused to use hers. She was concerned that it would short-circuit her pacemaker. She said she'd gone this long without an orgasm, she might as well go the whole way.
And that pacemaker, by the way, was later recalled. ~ Carrie Fisher

They should hand out vibrators if they're going to demand so much of you that you can't find time for a private life. ~ Meg Wolitzer

When his thumb hovered over the red button, she stared at him aghast. "You're truly going to … torture me?"
He cast her a puzzled look. "Why wouldn't I torture you?"
Because you used to love me, used to cherish me. "I thought we had a moment yesterday? Didn't you like seeing me in lingerie?"
In a monotone voice, he said, "Why did the charge throwers have no ill effect on you?"
He's truly going to do it? Then fuck him. DEFCON. "Chase, I've tussled with vibrators stronger than your charge throwers."
No reaction. "You consumed energy. And channeled it at will. How?"
All Valkyrie consumed it - they were each connected through a grid of mystical energy - but Regin was the only one she knew of who could radiate it through her body. She'd inherited the talent from her birth mother. "So how does one get started as a magister? College or trade school?"
"I don't have the time or patience for games. Now, tell me, why do you … glow?"
"I touched a radioactive alien cock once."
He pressed the button. ~ Kresley Cole

You make my insides feel like the vibrator's on!-Rev'ed up-throbbin'-as the beats send chill's down my mind into those dark legs of ecstasy where no man dare's whimper my name-That divine sensation that drives me into the nethersphere!-You here the trippin' I am drippin ? ~ Rickey Russell

The second issue, which was a big one, her hands shook like she had DTs. I was tempted to go to the liquor store and get her a bottle of Jack to calm her down. The rest of her body was completely still except at the wrists. Strangest thing I'd ever seen.
Vibrators for hands. ~ Ashlan Thomas

Fine!' she snapped, the desperation to have him growing exponentially now. 'I missed you. Only you. No man could ever make me feel like you do. I'm ruined for all others. I renamed all my vibrators after you and none of them get me off like you can. Happy now?'
His eyes glazed for a second. '*All* your vibrators?'
-Convicted ~ Dee Tenorio

Men are like vibrators. Just because they're dicks, it doesn't mean you can't use them to have a good time. ~ Leisa Rayven

I would handle the deep intellectual matters, like vibrators; she would handle the social sphere. ~ Jeffrey Eugenides

I'm no expert in vibrators, but I was surprised to learn that one could fit in that little box. ~ Henry Blodget

It's 2016," she replied to Keela. "Vibrators are perfectly acceptable life partners."

Bronagh frowned. "We need to get you a boyfriend."

I second that.

Alannah laughed. "Trust me, as long as I recharge me double A batteries, I'll never need a man again."

Dominic blinked. "Right now, as a man, I feel cheap. We're more than sex machines, we have feelings too, you know?"

Alannah rolled her eyes. "Please, in school you fucked your way through the girls in our year for sport. Their hurt feelings never made you feel cheap, but I can guarantee your actions made them feel cheap. ~ L.A. Casey