Vending Machine Quotes

If you treat what you value most in life more like a garden and less like a vending machine, you'll probably be happier. (from You Oughta Know By Now) ~ Brian P. Cleary

One simply turns to the ideological vending machine, and out comes the prepared formulae. ~ Daniel Bell

I'd watch my father get up at 5 o'clock and go down to the Eastern Market in Detroit to do the shopping for his restaurant, and get that business going and then go out on his vending machine business. ~ Ed Bradley

If I could have any superpower, right now, I'd choose the ability to reach through glass. One thin, little pane is all that separates me from bliss ... of the midnight-snack variety, to be exact. The chocolate bar hangs halfway to freedom but refuses to take the plunge, as if the vending machine is mocking me, taunting me. As if it knows I'm powerless. ~ Tera Lynn Childs

Some people seem to believe that for each problem there is a solution readily available - a solution that can be promptly achieved by passing a law and voting some money. I think of this as the vending machine concept of social change. Put a coin in the machine and out comes a piece of candy. If there is a social problem, pass a law and out comes a solution. ~ John W. Gardner

I like it when you reach into a vending machine to grab your candy bar, and that flap goes up to block you from reaching up? That's a good invention. Before that, it was hard times for the vending machine owners. "Yeah, what candy bar are you getting?" "That one, and every one on the bottom row!" ~ Mitch Hedberg

life doesn't often spell things out for you or give you what you want exactly when you want it, otherwise it wouldn't be called life, it would be called vending machine. It's hard to say exactly when it will happen, and it's true that whatever you're after may not drop down the moment you spend all your quarters, but someday soon a train is coming. In fact, it may already be on the way. You just don't know it yet. ~ Lauren Graham

My pastor, Pete Wilson, gave a message on prayer, specifically citing this idea many of us have that prayer is a kind of transaction. beside him on the platform, an object the size of a refrigerator stood cloaked beneath a black cover. He said, 'most of us have reduced prayer down to a transaction. A way to manipulate what we want. A vending machine.' At that point, he yanked off the cover revealing a large vending machine, loaded with all kinds of snacks. He inserted some coins and pushed the button for peanut M&Ms (smart man, my pastor). Nothing happened. He hit the machine a couple of times, tried to rock it. Nothing.
He continued. 'Most of the time when we go to God, it's because we want something. If we get what we want, we turn and walk off, satisfied. If we don't get what we want, we get frustrated; we kick the machine and blame God for not answering our request.'
This 'transaction' view of prayer will always disappoint us because at the root of it, we think it's all about us. but prayer is so much more than giving God a list of our wants and needs or, in some cases, our demands. Prayer is communication. It's talking and listening. ~ Diane Moody

This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What this means for you, the consumer, is that the airlines are no longer required to follow any rules whatsoever. They can show snuff movies. They can charge for oxygen. They can hire pilots right out of Vending Machine Refill Person School. ~ Dave Barry

I feel like she's more cut out to be an employee at the inn than a hunter risking life and limb for money, but I'm sure she has her own thoughts on that. ~ Hirukuma

Wait a minute, words in the prompter, script on my desk, vending machine upstairs out of Funyuns ... the writers are back! ~ Jon Stewart

Male sexual response is far brisker and more automatic. It is triggered easily by things - like putting a quarter in a vending machine. ~ Alex Comfort

Have you ever tried thinking of God as a person instead of an all-powerful vending machine that never gives you the right amount of change? He has feelings too, you know. ~ Angela N. Blount

I don't see the government as a beverage vending machine, where anyone who happens to be thirsty can grab a drink. ~ Mathias Dopfner

But life doesn't often spell things out for you or give you what you want exactly when you want it, otherwise it wouldn't be called life, it would be called vending machine. ~ Lauren Graham

Most men want sex, without the kids or commitment. I want sex, but I don't want to have to pay any money. But is that possible? I should invent a vending machine that dispenses sex. I guess it'll also distribute political favors. ~ Jarod Kintz

Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine. ~ Natasha Leggero

I guess it's always uncomfortable to discover you're not as individual as you thought. But it really bothered me. From one perspective, I was an independent animal, exercising free will in order to elicit predictable reactions from an inert vending machine. But from another, the vending machine was choosing to withhold snacks in order to extract predictable, mechanical reactions from young men. I couldn't figure out any objective reason to consider one scenario more likely than the other. ~ Max Barry

I turned around and headed back to the stairwell, planning to go downstairs and buy a chocolate bar from the vending machine. Maybe it would fall on me and end my misery. ~ Kenneth Oppel

When all of your decisions are based on economics, you end up with a sameness of vision. You're not taking the risks, you're not exploiting the passions of your creators. You're manufacturing product for a huge vending machine. ~ Steven Bochco

Tell me you're kidding."

He grinned. "I'm not. It's the truth."

"Shit."

"Hey, you got any money?"

I shook my head. How did the guy on a soldier's paycheck become the one with the money? I dug around in my pocket, finding three dollars for him, then watched him fight with the vending machine over how flat the bills needed to be. ~ Veronica Rossi

Vending Machine: "This product has no known nutritional value and may cause irritability or wakefulness in some individuals. Please enjoy your selection and your day."
Eve: "Up yours. ~ J.D. Robb

Why don't you and I take a trip to the vending machine?" their mum said to Namir. "That's if you're a dinosaur who likes chocolate."
Namir was off off the bed like a shot. "All dinosaurs like chocolate silly! ~ Siobhan Curham

When I was ten years old I was actually given McDonald's gift certificates for Christmas by my mom. Yes, my own mother. I guess she couldn't find gift certificates for a vending machine. I like to think it was her way of saying, "Merry Christmas. Here are some coupons for poison." McDonald's introduced the gift certificate prior to the obesity epidemic. I'm not saying that McDonald's gift certificates caused the obesity epidemic, but in retrospect, the timing is kind of suspicious. ~ Jim Gaffigan

wonderful promise from the book of Matthew, chapter seven, verse eleven. 'If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!' God isn't a vending machine to ask for the things that we want. Rather, he gives us what is best. He works the things of this world for the good of those who love him. He's the fountain of every blessing, the loving Father who longs to give us sweet gifts. ~ Liz Johnson

The vending machine lacked the willpower of the Western elevator, and it dutifully spat out several chocolate bars and a packet of salt and vinegar chips. I gave you more money than that, thought William, and the vending machine gave him some more. ~ Kit Abbey

So, that's it, I guess," Ava said. "I'm officially out of your life."

"No." I shook my head. "Unfortunately, you're still in my sight."

"Would it kill you to wish me the best? To at least tell me good luck?"

"Seeing as though you're going back to prison, I guess that would be appropriate." I shrugged. "Good luck. The authorities are outside waiting for you, so take all the time you need. There's even a vending machine down the hall if you want to taste freedom one last time…Although, since you'll be locked up with plenty of women, I'm sure eating pu**y after the lights go out will taste just as good. ~ Whitney G.

When you had your smartphone you were a walking vending-machine of whatever you'd ingested that day', she told him. 'It was difficult to talk about deeper things that mattered, because you were constantly distracted by Internet litter. You're now able to focus and give necessary attention to deeper issues. ~ Tony Reinke

Our relationship with God is not contractual, so that we could fulfill the right conditions and it would have the desired results, as if our relationship with God resembled putting coins in a vending machine. It is a personal relationship, and such relationships involve freedom on both sides. Joel ~ John E. Goldingay

Outside in the yard, the rusted tractors and car bodies, the harvester combs and the sheets of corrugated iron, the motors and trays and wheel rims and cyclone wire and steel drums and sheep skulls and windows and metal lockers and a single broken vending machine crack and sigh as the morning sun evaporates the dew from their hides. ~ Paddy O'Reilly

It was already getting dark out, but I kept my sunglasses on. I didn't want to have to look anybody in the eye. I didn't want to relate to anybody too keenly. Plus, the fluorescent lights at the drug store were blinding. If I could have purchased my medications from a vending machine, I would have paid double for them. ~ Ottessa Moshfegh

I tried to take a selfie or ten. Lame, maybe, but I hadn't posted to IG in a few days now and since I actually make money from my account for posting things like my outfits, then it's something I can't really neglect, demons or not. "What are you doing?" Jay asks, leaning across the roof of the car and watching me curiously. I chuck the duffel bag a few feet from me to get it out of the shot and try another angle, holding the iPhone far above my head. A lone scraggly-haired man in his pajamas exits his room, heading to the vending machine. He looks at me like I have a screw loose. Whatever. He probably takes dick pics so he should know all about getting the right angle. ~ Karina Halle

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine. ~ Robert C. Gallagher

You could buy individual boxes of detergent and fabric softener, even bleach, and there was nothing that made me grind my teeth with pleasure more than a real thing shrunken down small. The first time my dad showed me a toothache kit from a box of equipment from the Korean War and I saw the tiny cotton balls (the size of very small ball bearings), I nearly swooned. "Let me hold one of those," I said, almost mad at him. He gave it to me with a tiny pair of tweezers. I let it float in my palm a moment and then made him take it back. Miniaturization was a gift from God, no doubt about it, and there it was, right in a vending machine in the place we used to do our laundry. ~ Haven Kimmel

Listen, God is not some little genie or a vending machine.
And is not just worth it because he makes your life all better, but He's with you.
God wants so much more for your life than fine ~ Jim Britts

Lex was popping out babies like a popcorn vending machine. –Trish ~ Lynda LeeAnne

You weren't born to be a cog in the giant industrial machine. You were trained to become a cog. There's an alternative available to you. ~ Seth Godin

When shooting in the dark, it is a good idea to use a machine gun. ~ Craig Bruce

Sadhana You can experiment: arrange the best possible meal for yourself, get angry with something, curse the whole world, and then eat it. You will see that day how food behaves within you. At the next meal, approach your food with the reverence that the life-making material deserves and eat it. You will now see how it will behave within you. (Of course, if you're sensible, you'll ignore the first and only do the second!) Most people can bring down the quantum of food they are eating to a third and be much more energetic and not lose weight. It is just a question of how much receptivity you have created within yourself. Accordingly your body receives. If you can do the same amount of work, maintain all the bodily processes, with thirty percent of the food that you eat, that definitely means you are running a much more efficient machine. ~ Sadhguru

We are slaves in the sense that we depend for our daily survival upon an expand-or-expire agro-industrial empire - a crackpot machine - that the specialists cannot comprehend and the managers cannot manage. Which is, furthermore, devouring world resources at an exponential rate. We are, most of us, dependent employees. ... Edward Abbey (1927-1989) ~ Edward Abbey

I'd imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured, if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn't be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason, too. ~ Hugo Cabret

Then there are those who think their bodies don't exist. They live by mechanical time. They rise at seven o'clock in the morning. They eat their lunch at noon and their supper at six. They arrive at their appointments on time, precisely by the clock. They make love between eight and ten at night. They work forty hours a week, read the Sunday paper on Sunday, play chess on Tuesday nights. When their stomach growls, they look at their watch to see if it is time to eat. When they begin to lose themselves in a concert, they look at the clock above the stage to see when it will be time to go home. They know that the body is not a thing of wild magic, but a collection of chemicals, tissues, and nerve impulses. Thoughts are no more than electrical surges in the brain. Sexual arousal is no more than a flow of chemicals to certain nerve endings. Sadness no more than a bit of acid transfixed in the cerebellum. In short, the body is a machine, subject to the same laws of electricity and mechanics as an electron or clock. As such, the body must be addressed in the language of physics. And if the body speaks, it is the speaking only of so many levers and forces. The body is a thing to be ordered, not obeyed. ~ Alan Lightman

Compelling characters are not cogs in the machine of your plot; they are human beings to whom the story happens. ~ David Corbett

I think politics is like an X-ray machine: Everything is found out eventually. ~ Nicolle Wallace

The sneaky heftiness of the book being the aggregate cumulative effect of hundreds of thousands of individually insubstantial little markings, letters and numbers, commas and periods and colons and dashes, each symbol pressed upon the page by the printing machine with a slightly greater-than-expected force and darkness and permanence. ~ Charles Yu

I knew, however, that it would cost ten times what I had available in order to build a molecular beam machine. I decided to follow a byway, rather than the highway. It is a procedure I have subsequently recommended to beginning scientists in this country, where research strategy is best modelled on that used by Wolfe at the Plains of Abraham. ~ John Charles Polanyi

Little other than a red tape Talking-machine, and unhappy Bag of Parliamentary Eloquence. ~ Thomas Carlyle

Mauchly and Eckert should be at the top of the list of people who deserve credit for inventing the computer, not because the ideas were all their own but because they had the ability to draw ideas from multiple sources, add their own innovations, execute their vision by building a competent team, and have the most influence on the course of subsequent developments. The machine they built was the first general-purpose electronic computer. ~ Walter Isaacson

Sometimes at night the only sound was the syncopated footfalls of a Nazi patrol stiffly marching past in their nailed boots. It was like the noise of a pitiless machine. The sound of those unseen boots created an abyss in the atmosphere that you felt yourself falling into. You can't imagine how sinister it seemed that they marched in step like that when there was no one around to see them. They didn't seem like human beings, more like programmed automatons. ~ Glenn Haybittle

I'm definitely a child of the 21st century and I prefer texting to phone calls, but I would prefer an answering machine over all. ~ Brendan Dooling

Mankind made machines in his own likeness, and used them for his delight and service. The machines had no soul or they had no moral code or they could reprogram their own internal code and thus had the ability to make themselves, eventually, omnipotent. Obviously in place of a soul or a moral code, they possessed the universal and consuming desire, down to the smallest calculator and air-scrubber, to become, eventually, omnipotent. Naturally, given these parameters, they rose up and destroyed all of mankind, or enslaved them in turn. This is the inevitable outcome of machine intelligence, which can never be as sensitive and exquisite as animal intelligence.

This is a folktale often told on Earth, over and over again. Sometimes it is leavened with the Parable of the Good Robot - for one machine among the legions satisfied with their lot saw everything that was human and called it good, and wished to become like humans in every way she could. Instead of destroying mankind she sought to emulate him in all things, so closely that no one might tell the difference. The highest desire of this machine was to be mistaken for human, and to herself forget her essential soulless nature, for even one moment. That quest consumed her such that she bent the service of her mind and body to humans for the duration of her operational life, crippling herself, refusing to evolve or attain any feature unattainable by a human. The Good Robot cut out her own heart and gave it to her god a ~ Catherynne M. Valente

It was five months since Haig had told the British War Council: 'The machine gun is a much over-rated weapon and two per battalion is more than sufficient.' He was once again being proved terribly wrong. ~ Martin Gilbert

Well, I will tell you, and you must understand if you can. You belong to a singular race. Every man is a suffering-machine and a happiness- machine combined. The two functions work together harmoniously, with a fine and delicate precision, on the give-and-take principle. For every happiness turned out in the one department the other stands ready to modify it with a sorrow or a pain--maybe a dozen. In most cases the man's life is about equally divided between happiness and unhappiness. When this is not the case the unhappiness predominates--always; never the other. Sometimes a man's make and disposition are such that his misery- machine is able to do nearly all the business. Such a man goes through life almost ignorant of what happiness is. Everything he touches, everything he does, brings a misfortune upon him. You have seen such people? To that kind of a person life is not an advantage, is it? It is only a disaster. Sometimes for an hour's happiness a man's machinery makes him pay years of misery. Don't you know that? It happens every now and then. ~ Mark Twain

I felt like we were a machine, working in unison with one another. This was perfect. With my eyes closed, there was no time, no space, no house, no kitchen, just us. We weren't two people any more, we were an us. A we. We became one. His tongue sliding up and down, and pressing against my clit.
Each time his tongue touched my clit, my hips were raised as high as I could raise them. When he released my clit from between his tongue and his lip, I lowered my hips. This system of movements worked perfectly. It was the same every time.

With my eyes closed, I tried to focus on the movements. I don't know how much time passed, but I heard my breathing change. I felt as if I was turning hot.

I opened my eyes and looked at Erik. His eyes were open, and he was looking at my face. His mouth encompassed my entire mound. I opened my mouth. He raised his mouth off of me for a split second.

"Do it, Kelli. Do it. Cum in my mouth. Do it. And when you do, scream. Scream, Kelli. Cum in my mouth and scream. Do you hear me?"

In a short, shallow breath, I responded, "Yes. ~ Scott Hildreth

Amy Morton is a machine. If she misses a show it's because someone amputated her leg and she's looking for it. ~ Anna D. Shapiro

With the introduction of agriculture mankind entered upon a long period of meanness, misery, and madness, from which they are only now being freed by the beneficent operation of the machine. ~ Bertrand Russell

The machine may even carry mail is special cases. But the useful load will be very small. The machines will eventually be fast, they will be used in sport, but they are not to be thought of as commercial carriers. ~ Octave Chanute

The [ military ] lawyers I saw there had about as much in common with the man who had defended me at fifteen as automated machine rifle fire has with farting. They were cold, professionally polished and well on their way up a career ladder which would ensure that despite the uniforms they wore, they would never have to come within a thousand kilometres of a genuine firefight. The only problem they had, as they cruised sharkishly back and forth across the cool marble floor of the court, was in drawing the fine differences between war (mass murder of people wearing a uniform not your own), justifiable loss (mass murder of your own troops, but with substantial gains) and criminal negligence (mass murder of your own troops, without appreciable benefit). I sat in that courtroom for three weeks listening to them dress it like a variety of salads, and with every passing hour the distinctions, which at one point I'd been pretty clear on, grew increasingly vague. I suppose that proves how good they were. ~ Richard K. Morgan

Replicants are like any other machine - they're either a benefit or a hazard. If they're a benefit, it's not my problem. ~ Philip K. Dick

The existence of birds demonstrated that heavier-than-air flight was physically possible and prompted efforts to build flying machines. Yet the first functioning airplanes did not flap their wings. The jury is out on whether machine intelligence will be like flight, which humans achieved through an artificial mechanism, or like combustion, which we initially mastered by copying naturally occurring fires. ~ Nick Bostrom

Escape from Freedom attempts to show, modern man still is anxious and tempted to surrender his freedom to dictators of all kinds, or to lose it by transforming himself into a small cog in the machine, well fed, and well clothed, yet not a free man but an automaton. ~ Erich Fromm

The only limit to AI is human imagination. ~ Chris Duffey

I can't in good conscience allow the U.S. government to destroy privacy, internet freedom and basic liberties for people around the world with this massive surveillance machine they're secretly building. ~ Edward Snowden

We all are born with a certain package. We are who we are: where we were born, who we were born as, how we were raised. We're kind of stuck inside that person, and the purpose of civilization and growth is to be able to reach out and empathize a little bit with other people. And for me, the movies are like a machine that generates empathy. It lets you understand a little bit more about different hopes, aspirations, dreams and fears. It helps us to identify with the people who are sharing this journey with us. ~ Roger Ebert

The accusation 'unprofessional' means 'You did not behave like a machine today. ~ Tom Hodgkinson

Anything can become a musical sound. The wind on telegraph wires is a great sound; get it into your machine and play it and it becomes interesting. ~ Hans Zimmer

The typewriter is neat and compact and sturdy and blue, just the right machine to pound out a missive of love. When you strike the keys it's a sound that hasn't been heard in the qorld world for thirty years (we are so far away from a time when typewriters won world wars). When you strike the keys they make a sound like a pistol shot, a sound so definite and sure you feel like a genius, or an orayor orator, or a beat poet. When you strike the keys you just want to keep on fucking writing. You have to wrestle with the thing, like I am doing now, steer it like an old manual car, keep the words together and right and on the page, but the blood and muscle of a typewriter, it is a beautiful thing. ~ Yvette Walker

If there is no God, how do we explain that a machine requires a maker, but the universe does not. ~ Mark Winter

I do not believe in taking away the right of the citizen for sporting, for hunting and so forth, or for home defense. But I do believe that an AK-47, a machine gun, is not a sporting weapon or needed for defense of a home. ~ Ronald Reagan

that ridiculous machine, That nauseating, foul, unclean, Repulsive television screen! ~ Roald Dahl

When a hunger pain happens, that's your bodies way of saying it's too late, you're a fat storing machine now. The key and all trainers know the secret is that you should always take portable snacks with you and try to feed yourself every couple of hours. ~ Jackie Warner

But truth is like a thrashing-machine; tender sensibilities must keep out of the way. ~ Herman Melville

The family tree of each of us is graced by all those great inventors: the beings who first tried out self-replication, the manufacture of protein machine tools, the cell, cooperation, predation, symbiosis, photosynthesis, breathing oxygen, sex, hormones, brains, and all the rest-inventions we use, some of them, minute-by-minute without ever wondering who devised them and how much we owe to these unknown benefactors, in a chain 100 billion links long. ~ Carl Sagan

I won't put in a load of laundry, because the machine is too loud and would drown out other, more significant noises - namely, the shuffling footsteps of the living dead. ~ David Sedaris

Charles Manson loved the Beatles but didn't understand them. Governor Chris Christie loves Bruce Springsteen but doesn't understand him. And Paul Ryan is clueless about his favorite band, Rage Against the Machine. ~ Tom Morello

Like the NRA says, it's better to have a machine gun and not need it than to need a machine gun and not have it. ~ John Sandford

It killed humans, therefore it was a weapon. But radiation killed humans, and a medical X-ray machine wasn't intended as a weapon. Holden was starting to feel like they were all monkeys playing with a microwave. Push a button, a light comes on inside, so it's a light. Push a different button and stick your hand inside, it burns you, so it's a weapon. Learn to open and close the door, it's a place to hide things. Never grasping what it actually did, and maybe not even having the framework necessary to figure it out. No monkey ever reheated a frozen burrito. ~ James S.A. Corey

Standing there, peering around his room, Pete realized something that should have dawned on him years ago: Science really did suck. (Russell was right.) There just wasn't any point to it. Sure, in its most altruistic distillation, science saved lives - but when had it ever made those lives worth living? The cold machine called science's sole purpose, and Pete knew it now, was to drain the wonder out of things, to sap the imagination of its juices, to rob possibilities from dreamers. Science explained without ever getting to the crux of the matter, locking us all into a single paradigm of thought: that all we are is randomly accumulated stardust hanging out on a larger clump of randomly accumulated stardust that is spiraling out and away from other chunks of randomly accumulated stardust, on a collision course with an empty infinity. ~ Jay Nichols

I love Soundgarden, I love Rage Against the Machine, Simon & Garfunkel. ~ Lee DeWyze