Vasectomy Quotes

If you make one mistake, it can result in vasectomy. ~ John G. Rowland

Family planning experts are now recommending giving men vasectomy gift cards for the holidays. Talk about taking the jingle out of the bells. ~ Jay Leno

Y'know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations, like sitting on frozen peas after a vasectomy ~ Josh Stern

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar-playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like. ~ Bill Bryson

After doing One Fine Day and playing a pediatrician on ER, I'll never have kids. I'm going to have a vasectomy. ~ George Clooney

A program of sterilizing women after their second or third child, despite the relatively greater difficulty of the operation than vasectomy, might be easier to implement than trying to sterilize men. ~ John Holdren

Vasectomy
After the steaming bodies swept
through the hungry streets of swollen cities;
after the vast pink spawning of family
poisoned the rivers and ravaged the prairies;
after the gamble of latex and
diaphragms and pills;
I invoked the white robes, gleaming blades
ready for blood, and, feeling the scourge
of Increase and Multiply, made
affirmation: Yes, deliver us from
complicity.
And after the precision of scalpels,
I woke to a landscape of sunshine where
the catbird mates for life and
maps trace out no alibis - stepped
into a morning of naked truth,
where acts mean what they really are:
the purity of loving
for the sake of love. ~ Philip Appleman

With my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him I want a vasectomy. He said with a face like mine, I don't need one. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

My genes done gone and tricked my brain
By making fucking feel so great
That's how the little creeps attain
Their plan to fuckin' replicate
But brain's got tricks itself, you see
To get the bang but not the bite
I got this here vasectomy
My genes can fuck themselves tonight.
- The R-Selectors, Trunclade ~ Peter Watts

He was looking forward to this about as much as one would look forward to a tooth extraction, or perhaps a vasectomy. A colonoscopy? He pondered a list of horrific things that could possibly be less painful than a week-long royal wedding. ~ Jessica Clare

George's eyes moved quickly back to the paper, and his lips twitched as he finished, And finally , to Shauna Fontaine, I leave the knowledge that, when I started it with her, I got a vasectomy. ~ Kristen Ashley

And there will be no more interruptions and you will be staying for dessert, coffee, and cigars. ~ Abraham Verghese

There's a less than one percent chance of a vasectomy failing, but it does happen. And you know there were complications . . ." "Please don't talk about the complications. ~ Jeff Strand