Vamp Quotes

Vampires used to be the Dracula types, but in the last ten years most of them have become weak, brooding androgynes that only go after teenagers. A friend of mine took the opportunity to rid his whole city of them after the forth Mormon Vamps book hit and the sparkle meme was at its strongest."

"So does that make Ms. Mormon Sparkle Vamp a hero?"

"Of a sort. Before they started to sparkle, there were a lot of vamps who were tortured antiheroes, thanks to Rice and Whedon."

Ree grimaced. "Do you know if she was clued in?"

Eastwood shrugged. "She's very secretive, no one in the Underground has been able to say for sure. It's all rumor. My guess is she lost someone to a vampire and decided the greatest revenge she could inflict was to turn them into a laughing stock. ~ Michael R. Underwood

You okay?" "Fine." "Your heart's beating really fast." "Gee, thanks. That's very comforting that you can hear it." He smiled, and it was the old Michael, the one she'd first met before all the vamp stuff. "Yeah, I know it is. Sorry. Just stay behind me if there's trouble." "You sound like Shane." "Well, he did say he'd kill me if I got you hurt. I'm just looking after my own neck." "Liar. ~ Rachel Caine

The magic flooded us again. This time Derek was ready - his face showed no change. Ghastek, on the other hand, halted in midrise halfway off the ground.
I unsheathed Slayer. Derek backed away, giving himself room for a leap. If the vamp went berserk, we'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble.
"Ghastek?" I murmured.
"Just a second." His voice sounded muffled.
"Are you losing your grip on him?"
"What?"
The vampire dropped to the floor, regarding me with blood-drenched eyes. "Whatever led you to that conclusion?"
"You froze."
"If you must know, an apprentice brought me my espresso and I burned my tongue on it."
Derek grimaced, disgust practically dripping off his face. ~ Ilona Andrews

He looked stunned. "That's not what I - "
"It was," she said, interrupting him. "You acted like a vamp, Michael. Like any vamp getting
back-talked by a human. You could have gotten us hurt. You could have gotten Eve killed!"
Michael looked at Shane, who lifted his shoulders in a tiny, apologetic shrug. "She's not
wrong, bro."
"That's not what it was," Michael insisted. "I was just trying to - look, Eve started it."
"Hey! That thump you heard was me under the bus, there! "
Shane shrugged again. "And now Michael's not wrong. Hey, I like this game. I don't have to
be the wrong one for once in my life."
"Shut up, Shane," Eve snapped. "What about you, Miss Oh, sir, please let my friends go; I'm
such a delicate little flower? What a crock of shit, Claire! ~ Rachel Caine

Be forewarned,' the vamp said, 'if I learn that there's anything romantic happening here, I'm sending him packing ... less a few body parts.'
Kylie's mouth dropped open. 'Romantic? Oh, please, he's old. He's as old as you.'
Burnett's brow creased. 'Which is my point.' His frown deepened. 'Not that I'm *that* old. ~ C.C. Hunter

Halfway through, I decided that if I survived this, I was going to kill him. It wouldn't be easy, him being a master vamp and all, but I would find a way. ~ Karen Chance

I think Luc was right," he added when they were out of earshot. "I can hardly take you out anymore." "I just took out a vamp twice my weight while wearing a cocktail dress and three-inch heels. I think I deserve some credit for that. ~ Chloe Neill

For you see, the vampires were experiencing their own problems. Over the centuries, their females had grown all but infertile. They needed human women, and they needed them badly, but it had to be one certain type. Their blood had to contain the vamp factor. And so it began. ~ Desiree Broussard

Salem snorted. The Vamp basically told her, 'I'm in a weird place in me life right now, and I need some space.' Of course, he told her that by pointing a bloody sword at her whilst bellowing, 'I forsake you!' in front of the whole kingdom. ~ Kresley Cole

In the end, though, it's all about giving back the teeth that the current 'sweetie-vamp' craze has, by and large, stolen from the bloodsuckers. It's about making them scary again. ~ Stephen King

The stupid vamp just asked me to marry him. Here, now? As if looking like I just died is how I wanted to be proposed to."
Joy did a lap around Kylie's heart. "And you said?"
Holiday took a sip of water. "I asked him if we couldn't just live together in sin."
"And?"
"He told me it wouldn't be a good example to our students. So ... I agreed to marry him." She pushed a hand against her forehead. "Dear God, what am I getting myself into? ~ C.C. Hunter

Chicken, yeah, that's me. I'd rather fight an old rogue-vamp in my underwear, with my bare hands, than deal with relationship problems. ~ Faith Hunter

How did you hear about that?' 'Are you kidding me? So far, I had that runt Kyle-' 'I hate him. I hate all vamps. That complete toad, Michael-' '-tell me you were pregnant by a vamp-' 'kidnnaped me and-Kyle said WHAT?' 'and then a member of the Domi shows up and informs me-' 'The Domi sent someone HERE?' '-that you're actually pregnant by the late king of the Fey.' 'Late?!' Heidar squeaked. ~ Karen Chance

Did you want me to stay?" Kylie's yes and Lucas' no chimed out at the same time. "Sorry," Lucas said, not sounding sorry as he looked at Della. "But I need Kylie's full attention to teach her, and you would just distract her." "Right," Della said in a tone of complete disbelief. Lucas frowned at the vamp. "Okay," Della said. "I'll just mosey along. ~ C.C. Hunter

Gabe's brain told him that this was a very, very bad idea.
Aside from the fact that it went against the credo he'd lived by for the past half a decade, getting mixed up with a vamp could get him killed.
His dick told his brain to shut the hell up. It did. ~ Lou Harper

I really like The Vamps. I'm friends with a couple of the guys from the band, so that's fun. ~ Sophie Turner

All I want to know is why a party of Fey wanted to kill me," I said
heatedly.
The beetle's lips twisted enough to show fang. "Doesn't everyone?"
Radu hustled me out the door before I could find out if the vamp's plump
little carcass would fit into his overstuffed desk. ~ Karen Chance

Don't worry, hero. If the vamp shows up, I'm here to protect you."
"Great, I can hide behind your massive ego. ~ Cassandra Clare

A vampire victim. I'd never seen a lone kill. They were like potato chips; once a vamp tasted them, he couldn't stop at just one. ~ Laurell K. Hamilton

Okay, we should go.' Kylie touched Della's arm. But then, being Kylie and unable to leave on a bad note, she looked back at the new vamp. 'Welcome to Shadow Falls. I'm Kylie'
Della rolled her eyes. Why did Kylie think she had to play nice?
'You're Kylie Galen?' he asked, looking in awe 'Wow, I've heard about you.'
'Don't believe half of it,' Kylie said, a bit bashful
'I'm Chase Tallman,' he said, totally trying to impress Kylie. He even puffed out his chest a little, like a damn bird doing some kind of mating dance. Yeah, keep that up and I know a werewolf that'll be chomping on your ass! ~ C.C. Hunter

What bug crawled up your ass?" I demanded.
"If you mean, why I am upset? I should think that would be obvious!"
It took me a second, but I got it. "Oh, come on. You're not still pissed about–you did the same damn thing to me!"
He had the utter gall to look offended. "I did nothing of the sort–"
I stared at him. "And just how do you figure that? You stripped me butt naked, diddled me over a desk and stole my duffel bag. And my clothes!"
Somebody made a choking sound. I glanced up to find the door to the study open, and the old vamp looking scandalized. "Diddled?" Anthony asked, apparently delighted. Mircea closed his eyes. ~ Karen Chance

What is it with you and the Wizard of Oz references? Zombies and werewolves and vamps, oh my. Zombies and werewolves and ... ~ Christopher Golden

The newly developed snarky side of my personality wanted to tell him 'There's no crying in vamp battles. ~ Robyn Jones

Umm," Jack said,reminding me that he was still standing beside me, "any ideas, Evie? I seem to be fresh out of baseball bats." Uber-vamp directed a chilling glare in Jack's direction. I inwardly cursed the idiot boy for bringing it up and putting himself in danger,too.
"I'm guessing you didn't bring your communicator."
"In hindsight,not a clever move on my part. ~ Kiersten White

I remember watching an old Dracula movie once with Alphonse and having him laugh himself sick at the sight of a vamp only a few days out of the grave supposedly raising another one.He'd been impossible for weeks afterwards,mercilessly teasing all the weaker vamps in court about the three-day-old baby that was more powerful than them. ~ Karen Chance

We watched Vamps hunting Vamps, Vamp hunters and Witches torching Vamps, teenage girls kissing Vamps. And we giggled and swooned through it all. ~ Shelly Crane

Well, you're lucky, that's all. Even if he is a vamp now. You must be pretty used to all sorts of weird stuff, being a Shadowhunter, so I bet it doesn't faze you.
"It fazes me," Clary said, more sharply then she'd intended. "I'm not Jace."
The smirk widened. " No one is. And I get the feeling he knows it.
"Whats that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, you know. Jace reminds me of an old boyfriend. Some guys look at you like they want sex. Jace looks at you like you've already had sex, it was great, and now you're just friends- even though you want more. Drives girls crazy. You know what i mean?
Yes, Clary thought. "No." she said. ~ Cassandra Clare

„You don't really want to do this. I'm a good vampire – I mean, like, a vampire with a soul, not that I'm really good at, you know, vamp-stuff. I'm not some monster. Heck, I've only been a vampire for less than a week! I've never even sucked blood" I ducked under the blade and backflipped away. „Really! You can ask my parents! My mum's a university professor, she's a very trustworthy character reference! ~ Helen Keeble

That wasn't so bad," I decided, after downing the shot. Maybe I was getting my rhythm.
"Because you threw it over your shoulder," Scarface told me, looking smug.
"Did not." I looked behind me, only to see an outraged vamp with fey wine dripping down his face. "Oops."
"It was for luck," Ray said defensively, wrapping both my hands around a glass.
"Drink!"
I drank. ~ Karen Chance

To Bettina, she'd written: The old Vrekener king was a vicious fiend who got what he deserved. Kudos to your new vamp husband for a well-played assassination and tournament victory. ~ Kresley Cole

I'd never seen anything like it. First a trial, then a few murders, then dancing. Life goes on. Or, in this case, death continues. ~ Charlaine Harris

I'm just warning you, I'm probably going to be a total hard-ass vamp."
Mallory snorted and walked out of the kitchen, calling out, "Yeah, well, you've got a purple marshmallow on your chin, hard-ass vamp. ~ Chloe Neill

This particular one was very, very heartwarming and is the relationship of an older man and a young boy that are essentially on the run. And so yeah, as I say, Barry Crump wrote a lot of books and this one got into the hands of Taika Watiti who then writing the screenplay decided to really vamp up if that's the word, or ramp up and modernize certain phrases - getting in the humor. So he added a lot of a real comedy perspective onto it which is what I think the story needed anyway, especially for it to turn into a film. And it worked. ~ Rhys Darby

I have a vamp body for you," Andrea said. "It's in the freezer."
I gave her a nice smile. "You shouldn't have. ~ Ilona Andrews

Ivy shook her head with a look of disgust. "So you got caught. Big freaking deal. They knew who Rachel was, and you don't see her whining over it."
Actually, I had thrown my tantrum on the way home, which might have accounted for the odd noise Francis's car was making when I left it in the mall parking lot in the shade of a tree.
Jenks darted to hover three inches before Ivy's nose. His wings were red in anger. "You have a gardener trap you in a glass ball and see if it doesn't give you a new outlook on life, Little Miss Merry Sunshine."
My bad mood slipped away as I watched a four-inch pixy confront a vamp. ~ Kim Harrison

Oh, come on. A vamp marrying a human gets the fanged ones all upset, and Eve made herself look like the ultimate fang-anger to all the humans by putting a ring on one, so what did you expect exactly? Flowers and parades? This is Texas. We're still figuring out how to spell tolerance. ~ Rachel Caine

I'd like for you to tell me who you are." The man blinked.
"David Dryden."
I just looked at him.
"Your one o'clock?"
"My one o'clock what?"
"Date," the third vamp said, grinning.
"For what?" I asked, confused.
"Well, you know."
The mage looked a little awkward suddenly. "The usual."
"I think we've got a contender here, boys," the brunet said.
"Smooth operator," the second vamp agreed. ~ Karen Chance

Putting the brakes on is not an easy thing for a vamp to do. It's kind of like a shark trying to stop a feeding frenzy, or that old potato chip slogan: "Bet you can't eat just one. ~ Jim Grayson

I love playing the vamp, and I get sent out for a lot of that stuff, maybe because I do it well. ~ Jamie Luner

Because success is such a weasel word anyway, it's such a horribly American word, and it's such a vamp and, I think it's a death trap. ~ Daniel Berrigan

Success. I turned back to my sandwich, only to find that it wasn't there anymore. Maybe because it had been hijacked.
"Give me that!" I told the vamp, who was holding it firmly against his chest, a determined look on his face.
"What ees zat?" he demanded, eyeing my prize.
"Cheese." I held it up.
"Zat ees not cheese."
"How do you know?"
"Eet is orange."
"A lot of cheese is orange."
"Non! No cheese ees that color. Cheese comes from zee milk. Zee milk, eet ees white. When 'ave you seen milk that looks like zat?"
I held up the square of little slices and pointed at the bold-faced label. "Processed American Cheese."
He snatched the package, without letting go of his hostage. And eyed it warily. "Eet says 'cheese food.'" He looked up, obviously perplexed. "What ees thees? Zee cheese, it does not eat. ~ Karen Chance

Five trolls in a dra-a-a-a-ag,' the four-inch man sang from my shoulder. 'Four purple condoms, three French ticklers, two horny vamps and a succubus in the snow. ~ Kim Harrison

Miss Pickett...Lucy ~ for the love of heaven, may I call you Lucy? I've saved you from a ghost and a vamp attack. I've seen your naked back, and this marks the second time you've slept in my bed. ~ Nancy Campbell Allen

[..] ...
"What does he look like?" Valkyrie asked.
"Black hair, pretty pale. Ugly scar on his face. Looks like a vamp."
"You should get back inside," Skulduggery said. "Lock the doors."
"You got it, Kemo sabe. I'll keep my crucifix close."
"Vampires aren't scared of a crucifix, Finbar."
"I don't plan to wave it at him, I plan to hit him with it. It's really heavy. I figure I can do some considerable damage to his head." He Stepped back and closed the door. ~ Derek Landy

The vampire stared at me, his mouth slack as Ghastek assessed his options. I took a couple of forms from my desk, put them into the vamp's mouth, and pulled them up by their edges.
"What are you doing?" Ghastek asked.
"My hole puncher broke."
"You have no respect for the undead. ~ Ilona Andrews

Eriously, Drew. What kind of Vampire are you? You spend most of your eternal life pretending to be human - and miserably, I might add, while constantly being ashamed of what you really are. Okay, I get it. I moaned for over a decade when I was turned, but I got over it. You are one of the most gifted of our kind, and in spite of that, You are the most stupid Vamp I know, because you've just revealed what you are and all of us in fact, to a human. ~ Stella Coulson

We really are kindred spirits you know; conjurers in love with vampires. The Vamp Tramps! ~ Quinteria Ramey

The skanky vamp biting for bucks on the dark end of state street is your ex boyfriend? William asked. The look on William's face implied he hoped I washed after interacting with Parrish ~ Tate Hallaway

Do you scent the same things I do?"
Ransom made a face when she described what she'd picked up from the passing vamp. "Yeah, except I don't say shit like 'cinnamon spice with a hint of burnt oak.' I say 'dude smells like an electrified tree with a side of doughnut topping. ~ Nalini Singh

Do you have a message for Master Corbin before you go?" the little vamp asked. "No," I said shortly. "Wait - yes. Tell him if he thinks giving me his private number will inspire me to make a booty call, he's sadly mistaken." The androgynous vamp gave me a puzzled look. "A booty call? You will call his buttocks on the telephone? I do not understand." I stifled a snicker. "You don't have to. Basically it means I'm not interested in fucking a vampire. ~ Evangeline Anderson

Miss Rasputin, what a delight to finally meet you," said the vamp, speaking with only the faintest hint of an accent.
"Let's hope you still feel that way in a few minutes, Mr. Delacroix."
"Pierre, please. And may I call you Evangaline?" Pierre smiled at her winsomely.
"No, you may not. My name is Ms. Rasputin to you."
Her answer took the vamp aback, but he recovered quickly and smiled again showing off his small pointed canines. Pierre's dark eyes flicked over to Ryker in his feline form and he raised an aristocratic brow. "My, what a big pussy you have."
"You know what they say, the bigger the better. ~ Eve Langlais

Ninja beats pirate. Pirate beats ghost.
Ghost beats zombie. Zombie beats most.
Werewolf beats vampire. Vamp beats Imp.
Imp beats fiend. Fiend beats wimp.
Wizard beats cyrborg. Cyborg surely beats troll.
Troll beats goblin. Goblin eats a hermit's soul.
Hermit beats child. Child beats wagon.
Wagon beats moon snake. Moon snake beats dragon.
Dragon beats hydra. Hydra beats sailor.
Sailor beats teacher. Teacher beats tailor.
Tailor beats sun worm. Sun worm beats clown.
Clown beats robo-squid. Robo-squid beats town.

Town fights jackals. Town will win.
Town fights mummies. Town won't fight again.

Zookeeper beats hell hound. Hell hound beats giant.
Giant beats accountant. Accountant beats client.
Client beats frog. Frog beats himself.
Knight beats Big Foot. Big Foot beats elf.
Elf beats pixie. Pixie beats specter.
Specter beats sea hag. Sea hag beats Hector.
Hector beats serpent. Serpent beats rat.
Rat beats Grandma. Grandma beats cat.
Lava beats demon. Demon beats warlock.
Warlock beats dinosaur. Dino beats Spock.
Spock beats Lando. Lando beats Qui-Gon.
Qui-Gon beats Jar-Jar. Jar-Jar beats none.

Rock beats scissors. Scissors beat paper.
Paper beats insect. Insect beats vapor.
Wood Woman beats Tree Man. Tree Man beats the dark.
The dark kills spider-fish. Spider-fish beats shark.
You beat me. I beat a dentist.
The ~ Dan Bergstein

Ray is going to fly you out and the plan is to meet up in two hours."
She sighed. "I despise Vamp Air, but I guess it can't be helped. I can't even think about the amount of bugs that will be caught in my teeth over these swamplands."
"Well, maybe it would help if you just keep your mouth shut--- ~ Amanda Carlson

The vamp-mobile had vanished at some point during the wee hours, replaced by a huge pickup truck I could only assume belonged to a werewolf. Or a Republican from north Louisiana - hard to tell the difference. ~ Cecily White

I hate the vamp jobs. They think they're so suave. It's not enough for them to slaughter and eat you like a zombie would. No, they want to be all sexy, too. And trust me: vampires? Not. Sexy. ~ Kiersten White

Okay, to be fair, I had tried to Google-stalk him. But Google-stalking is a far cry from having your demonblood best friend park his vampmobile across the and use his x-ray vamp vision to spy into someone's house. That's just rude. ~ Cecily White

What a slug's ass. If he doesn't go to the hospital and die on paper, then we have a dead vamp to explain and will be brought up on insurance fraud. Rache, I'm too pretty to go to jail! ~ Kim Harrison

He is Running and Shouting and teasing around ,people know that he is just a vamp on the ground. people no more fear him . But the one sitting silent with no sigh of talky move,people simply fear him because no one knows what destruction he can bring to one in the this bushy grass of violence. ~ Yash Hoskere

It was really wonderful playing with Aretha [ Franklin]. I knew that she knew what she was doing, so all I had to do was sit in the background and vamp a little bit. ~ Condoleezza Rice

I killed Freddie the vamp like twenty times, but he wouldn't die.
Natalya Shonski ~ Christine Feehan

Kami said, "I want you to go in there and vamp that receptionist."
"What?" Ash said blankly.
"You know," Kami said. "Dazzle her with your charms. Rock her world. Go on."
[ ... ] "What," Ash said, "all of us?"
"Do you want to stand around trying to guess if she likes pretty boys or rough trade?" Jared asked, gesturing lazily from Ash to himself.
"Excuse me, what did you just call yourself?" Ash demanded. "No, wait a second, I don't care. What did you just call me? ~ Sarah Rees Brennan

You do that, and I take back every nasty thing I've ever said about you."
He grinned, his mood changing from serious to wicked in an instant. "Why? I'm all those things and more."
I shook my head. Ian was more proud of his depravity than anyone I'd met, but if he helped me pull Bones out from under four bespelled vampires and one demonically-enchanced vamp, I'd shower him with prostitutes and porn while swearing he was an angel. ~ Jeaniene Frost