Umbridge Quotes

Give her hell from us, Peeves. ~ J.K. Rowling

I know [Umbridge] by reputation and I'm sure she's no Death Eater-"
"She's foul enough to be one ... "
"Yes, but the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. ~ J.K. Rowling

Are you quite sure you wouldn't like a cough drop, Dolores? ~ J.K. Rowling

I heard from my dear friend Tiberius Ogden, that you can produce a Patronus? For a bonus point ... ?
Harry raised his wand, looked directly at Umbridge, and imagined her being sacked.
Expecto Patronum!
The silver stag erupted from the end of his wand and cantered the length of the hall. ~ J.K. Rowling

Special discounts to Hogwarts students who swear they're going to use our products to get rid of this old bat,' added George, pointing at Professor Umbridge. ~ J.K. Rowling

Harry dreamed he was back in the DA room. Cho was accusing him of luring her there under false pretences; she said he had promised her a hundred and fifty Chocolate Frog Cards if she showed up. Harry protested ... Cho shouted, 'Cedric gave me loads of Chocolate Frog Cards, look!' And pulled out fistfuls of Cards from inside her robes and threw them into the air. Then she turned into Hermione, who said, 'You did promise her, you know, Harry ... I think you'd better give her something else instead ... how about your Firebolt?'
And Harry was protesting that he could not give Cho his Firebolt, because Umbridge had it, and anyway the whole thing was ridiculous, he'd only come to the DA room to put up some Christmas baubles shaped like Dobby's head ... ~ J.K. Rowling

You haven't given me any ink," he said.
"Oh, you won't need ink," said Professor Umbridge with the merest suggestion of a laugh in her voice.
Harry placed the point of the quill on the paper and wrote: I must not tell lies.
He let out a gasp of pain. The words had appeared on the parchment in what appeared to be shining red ink. At the same time, the words had appeared on the back of Harry's right hand, cut into his skin as though traced there by a scalpel - yet even as he stared at the shining cut, the skin healed over again, leaving the place where it had been slightly redder than before but quite smooth.
Harry looked around at Umbridge. She was watching him, her wide, toadlike mouth stretched in a smile.
"Yes?"
"Nothing," said Harry quietly. ~ J.K. Rowling

Potter,' she said in ringing tones, 'I will assist you to become an Auror if it is the last thing I do! If I have to coach you nightly, I will make sure you achieve the required results!'
'The Minister for Magic will never employ Harry Potter!' said Umbridge, her voice rising furiously.
'There may well be a new Minister for Magic by the time Potter is ready to join!' shouted Professor McGonagall.
'Aha!' shrieked Professor Umbridge, pointing a stubby finger at McGonagall. 'Yes! Yes, yes, yes! Of course! That's what you want, isn't it, Minerva McGonagall? You want Cornelius Fudge replace by Albus Dumbledore! You think you'll be where I am, don't you: Senior Undersecretary to the Minister and Headmistress to boot!'
'You are raving,' said Professor McGonagall, superbly disdainful. ~ J.K. Rowling

I should have made my meaning plainer," said Professor McGonagall, turning at last to look Umbridge directly in the eyes. "He has achieved high marks in all Defense Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher." Professor Umbridge's smile vanished as suddenly as a lightbulb blowing. She ~ J.K. Rowling

Well?" said Professor McGonagall, rounding on him. "Is this true?" "Is what true?" Harry asked, rather more aggressively than he had intended. "Professor?" he added in an attempt to sound more polite. "Is it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?" "Yes," said Harry. "You called her a liar?" "Yes." "You told her He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back?" "Yes." Professor McGonagall sat down behind her desk, frowning at Harry. Then she said, "Have a biscuit, Potter." "Have - what?" "Have a biscuit," she repeated impatiently, indicating a tartan tin of cookies lying on top of one of the piles of papers on her desk. ~ J.K. Rowling

The Ministry places a rather higher value on my life than yours, I'm afraid. ~ J.K. Rowling

Well, usually when a person shakes their head," said McGonagall coldly, "they mean 'no.' So unless Miss Edgecombe is using a form of sign language as yet unknown to humans... ~ J.K. Rowling

Is it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?"
"Yes."
"You called her a liar?"
"Yes."
"You told her He Who Must Not Be Named is back?"
"Yes."
"Have a biscuit, Potter. ~ J.K. Rowling

Yeah, she shows signs of life if you do this, said Ron, and with his tongue he made soft clip-flopping noises. Umbridge sat bolt upright, looking wildly around. ~ J.K. Rowling

Defensive spells?" Professor Umbridge repeated with a little laugh. "Why, I can't imagine any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class? ~ J.K. Rowling

The teachers were of course forbidden from mentioning the interview by Educational Decree Number Twenty-six, but they found ways to express their feelings about it all the same. [...] and Professor Trelawney broke into hysterical sobs during Divination and announced to the startled class, and a very disapproving Umbridge, that Harry was not going to suffer an early death after all, but would live to a ripe old age, become Minister for Magic and have twelve children ~ J.K. Rowling