Two Timer Guy Quotes

I use a smoke alarm as a timer. ~ Joan Rivers

Standing between these two guys you'd have to be me to know how I'm feelin'! ~ Buddy Guy

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two. ~ George Burns

I don't exactly know what it means to be ready. A cake when the oven timer goes off? Am I fully baked, or only half-baked? ~ Jessica Savitch

I set the timer. The silent countdown, with the not-so-silent alarm blast at the end of the twenty-minutes commenced. The ticking and tocking started its merciless countdown. ~ Jazz Feylynn

Getting into the habit of switching a timer on will, I promise, save you from any number of kitchen disasters. ~ Delia Smith

It's two o'clock in the morning, they're not going to get any nooky anyway, so this one guy and the guy with the t-shirt guy started sniffing the girls panties. ~ Frank Zappa

For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

An old-timer is someone who can remember when a naughty child was taken to the woodshed instead of to a psychiatrist. ~ David Greenberg

I was in the game for love. After all, where else can an old-timer with one leg, who can't hear or see, live like a king while doing the only thing I wanted to do? ~ Bill Veeck

How do I stay balanced? On my two feet. ~ Guy Burnet

I guess I'm getting to the age where a lot of other people my age have real jobs, and when they're hard-up they refer to an old-timer like me. ~ Mike Patton

I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

The stopwatch threat hung over me. I set the timer with shaky clammy fingers. The silent reckoning with the not-so-silent alarm blast at the end of the merciless countdown commenced. ~ Jazz Feylynn

I'm living with two guys. I'm living with a slob and a guy who sleeps all day. ~ Devon Sawa

Less-creative people can't shift gears. Very creative people move between these two states intuitively. ~ Guy Claxton

After you date a player or two it's nice to just chill with a guy that can keep it basic. ~ Angie Martinez

We went to - I guess it was a legitimate boiler room, and I sat in front of this guy who literally was on the phone with two people at once. They call it double fisting. ~ Giovanni Ribisi

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine. ~ David Letterman

I'm not a star, man. If a guy came in here and shot you and shot me, we'd both be two dead people. You understand? ~ Kevin Garnett

I didn't know what to do. I'm in love with this woman, I'm married to this other woman, and I'm in trouble, so I call my two friends. That's all I need, two. I need the main guy and the guy I go to when I drain the main guy. ~ Marc Maron

The latest report is that Osama bin Laden has shaved his beard, is wearing Western clothes and has had plastic surgery. Isn't that amazing? The guy has made just two videos and he's already gone Hollywood. ~ Jay Leno

Now the guy that got to the top, the CEO, would obviously be stupid to have a number two guy who was a lot smarter than he is. So by definition, since he's a survivor and he got to the top and he isn't that brilliant, his number two guy is going to always be a little worse than he is. So, as time goes on, it's anti-Darwinism, the survival of the un- fittest. ~ Carl Icahn

I killed a guy, maybe two. Possibly three.
I have one power. Not two or three or four. Just one.
I met a girl, and she changed everything. ~ Patrick Carman

After 13 years, I couldn't accept to be number two. ~ Guy Lafleur

The guy we want to get is the guy who did the Aerosmith album which is coming out in two days, and a Chili Peppers album, and a couple of Pearl Jam albums. We want to get someone that will sort of bring out the high energy aspect more than the dreaminess that was on the last album. ~ Mike Gordon

Two guys enter the cage and only one comes out the winner. It gets you pumped because you know the other guy is trying to finish you and you want to finish him before he gets his chance. ~ Travis Browne

I pretty much live on my tour bus.I do well around 300 shows a year. A lot of times I will do two shows a night. ~ Larry The Cable Guy

< ... > out of love of symmetry, just as people put two vases above a fireplace. ~ Guy De Maupassant

Should two founders split the company right down the middle? Answer you're looking for: No, you should allocate 25 percent to future employees and 35 percent to the first two rounds of investments. That leaves 40 percent for the founders to split among themselves. ~ Guy Kawasaki

'3:10 to Yuma' was one that I just kept on talking and thinking about after reading it. And I think the reason is because, like in most Westerns, you have the very clear-cut bad-guy/good-guy, however, as the movie progresses, you kind of see that it's a very fine line that divides these two. ~ Christian Bale

I wasn't a babe in the woods. I'd watched a lot of stars, from James Dean to Brando, and I'd seen everybody alive work at MGM. I had a certain old-timer's quality, even though I was young and new, and drew on what I believed before I made it. ~ Jack Nicholson

Three men walk into a bar. The third guy's name is 333. The first guy's name is The Second Guy, and the second guy's name is I'm Not Lying. One of these men is not like the other two. Which one is why and who? ~ Jarod Kintz

Business is difficult. But it could be approached two ways: Seriously, or with the same way you're doing your job, with entertainment aspect, with pleasure, with fun. And we decided to try to make it as fun that we do our creativity. ~ Guy Laliberte

Being the father of girls is a kind of illness, in its own way - since any guy who has tried to live in a house with a wife and two daughters is, without any doubt, going to go certifiably nuts. ~ Steve Schirripa

If you want to watch two guys knock hell out of each other, watch us. ~ Ricky Hatton

People that never had a part-time job in their lives, people that have worked for a company 20 and 30 years are now working for the same company as a part-timer because of "Obama care," because of the basic advantages to doing that in terms of "Obama care" for an employer. ~ Donald Trump

I'm not always looking for the laugh. I'm not the guy who sits in and listens to conversations and wants to jump in with something hilarious every two seconds. I actually do listen to people. ~ Jim Carrey

Basically, when I was filming John Tucker the guy that I was seeing for two years was cheating on me. Sophia, Ashanti, and Arielle really became the same girls they are in the movie, and we became best friends. They were there for me so much. ~ Brittany Snow

It's been six years since I have had a drink and I have two girls, and my priorities are a lot different now and I just can't believe I was that guy. And I would not go back, I would not trade the way I am now for anything. ~ Brett Favre

Disarming behavior, where you have two sides involved in a conflict that everybody has stereotypes of the evil other side that is convinced that they would never ever do something reasonable. If a leader on one of those sides were to defy those stereotypes then it would change everything. ~ Guy Burgess

Leverage your brand. You shouldn't let two guys in a garage eat your shorts. ~ Guy Kawasaki

My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

Hockey is the only place where a guy can go nowadays and watch two white guys fight. ~ Frank Deford

It's just a two-man con," said Shadow. "Like the bishop and the diamond necklace and the cop. Like the guy with the fiddle, and the guy who wants to buy the fiddle, and the poor sap in between them who pays for the fiddle. Two men, who appear to be on opposite sides, playing the same game. ~ Neil Gaiman

A bank in Washington was robbed by two men in George W. Bush masks. Luckily, right afterwards two guys in President Obama masks came and bailed the bank out, so everything is fine. ~ Conan O'Brien

I make about two movies a year outside the 'True Blood' schedule. I work on a great show six months a year, then outside that I get to satisfy whatever creative urges I have. It's a great position, especially for a single guy like me. ~ Ryan Kwanten

But from a purely linguistic perspective, and as a rule of thumb, when two varieties of what used to be the same language are no longer mutually intelligible, they can be called different languages. ~ Guy Deutscher

We see in essence not with two eyes but with three: with the two eyes of the body and with the eye of the mind that is behind them. And it is in this eye of the mind in which the cultural-historical progressive development of the color sense takes place. ~ Guy Deutscher

I answer two or three letters a day. I'm just not the he-has-a-secretary kind of guy. ~ Chris Bohjalian

I'm a teammate guy, so whatever I can do to help my team to win like I have the past two years, that's what I want to do. If it takes for me to play first base, third base, right field, I just want to win the game. ~ Albert Pujols

I was actually on two reality shows, which is crazy. Just to think that, out there, there was some guy, like flipping through the channels, being like, 'Hey, I 69'd her on a cruise ship. ~ Amy Schumer

It suits him because way back many years ago when Nikita Mikhalkov, the great Russian director, came, I said, "I want you to meet somebody." So I get Billy Bob from Malvern, Arkansas and Nikita Mikhalkov from Moscow. It's just two big talents meet. We sat for two or three hours and talked. It was great. He's the real deal, this guy. ~ Robert Duvall

The biggest daily challenge of social media is finding enough content to share. We call this "feeding the Content Monster." There are two ways to do this: content creation and content curation. ~ Guy Kawasaki

He just wasn't the guy, you know? I want the guy. The everything guy. Not the dumb Prince Charming, nauseatingly-perfect everything guy. That's pathetic. I want the flaws-and-all everything guy. ~ Jessica Park

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys. ~ Woody Allen

You want to have two guys making out in front of your 4-year-old? It's OK with them. A guy smoking a joint, blowing the smoke into your little kid's face? OK with them. And I'm not exaggerating here. This is exactly what the secular movement stands for. ~ Bill O'Reilly

Really a bad guy is more interesting, dramatically, than the good guy. ~ Kirk Douglas

It occurred to me what a simple thing reality is, how easy it is to make it work. It's just reality. Just housework. Just a home. Like running a simple machine. Once you learn to run it, it's just a matter of repetition. You push this button and pull that lever. You adjust a gauge, put on the lid, set the timer. The same thing, over and over. ~ Haruki Murakami

I've always felt that a manager has achieved a great deal when he's able to motivate one other person. When it comes to making the place run, motivation is everything. You might be able to do the work of two people, but you can't be two people. Instead, you have to inspire the next guy down the line and get him to inspire his people. ~ Lee Iacocca

Not to do as the child wishes would be wrong because he is born on a path, and it would be evil, a crime against nature to make him deny his spirit. ~ Guy Vanderhaeghe

How can I shake and dispel the awful reputation of being an "erudite" writer? I'm about as erudite as a traffic cop. I like to know things; what's so two-headed peculiar about that? ~ Guy Davenport

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. ~ George Carlin

I'm the guy who will persist in his path. I'm the guy who will make you laugh. I'm the guy who strives to be open. I'm the guy who's been heartbroken. I'm the guy who has been on his own, and I'm the guy who's felt alone. I'm the guy who holds your hand, and I'm the guy who will stand up and be a man. I'm the guy who tries to make things better. I'm the guy who's the whitest half Cuban ever. I'm the guy who's lost more than he's won. I'm the guy who's turn, but never spun. I'm the guy you couldn't see. I'm that guy, and that guy is me. ~ Blake Jenner

I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh. ~ Larry David

On the set, everybody is different, so you have to deal with different sensibilities. I don't have a method. Usually, I try to have a good connection with the actor that I'm filming. Even a guy who's there with two lines of dialogue, I always try to have a connection with the guy I'm filming, just to make it into a nice, enjoyable moment. ~ Quentin Dupieux

I figured this guy was a fair dinkum Australian. The type of guy that worked the land all day, cracked open a beer or two at night and called girls 'sheilas'. ~ S.A. Tawks

Two of the guys that were honorary Vampires - Jim Morrison and Jimi Hendrix - had died at 27. And they were certainly archangels in our group. ~ Alice Cooper

When you are the avatar for the writer/director, a lot of times, I just trusted him. If he had a choice, even if it wasn't necessarily what was my first impulse, I was like, "This guy [Billy Ray] has been living with this for two years before I even came on board, so I'm going with him." ~ Matt Bomer

Let's just say I know a guy who knows a guy who knows another guy. ~ Saul

This one guy's wife is such a pretty brown thing, that I'm liable to give her a poke or two. Whaddaya think of that? ~ Randy Newman

I travel 330 days a year and eat every two and a half hours - I'm a big guy. I always carry a fork, little bottles of spices, and Sriracha. I eat what I feel like eating. ~ Robert Irvine

Scott Hall is a great wrestler, a better friend, but more than anything a very caring human being. Scott never passed a homeless person or someone in need without opening his wallet. This is a guy that has the first two nickels he ever made. ~ Kevin Nash

I'm just trying not to get run over. That's number one. Number two is you gotta catch the guy in front of ya. ~ Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone. ~ John Madden

I tend to have a lot of guy friends. ~ Bella Thorne

Love is love. It doesn't matter if your a girl and a guy, two girls or two guys for love is universal. ~ Horaida Rodriguez

When you can, avoid sitting, or even open up a direct attack. Set your phone or watch timer to go off every hour so that you get up out of your chair, mobilize for a minute or two, and then (if you have to go back to sitting) sit down with your butt and stomach muscles turned on and engaged. ~ Kelly Starrett

My show is not just a cop hosting a talk show - the two are completely different. My show is about helping people stand up to the bad guy. ~ Steve Wilkos

It's a bottom line business where a lot of gray suits are brought in and then, within two years, these guys suddenly know everything about baseball. ~ Don Drysdale

I'll bring what I bring to the tale, but it's good to know you have two guys with the experience and know-how in big games. ~ Eli Manning

Anyway, shes still getting to know you," Mike says. "Chicks are like that. They base how much tey like on you an emotional level. They have to be into your personality first, and then they decide they want you. But if a guy thinks a girl is hot, he'll learn to like her personality later. It's two different worlds, man. ~ Susane Colasanti

I started a business with two guys I played with, Ronnie Lott and Harris Barton: Champion Ventures, it's a fund of funds. We have $400 million or so under management. ~ Joe Montana

Two reasons I come down here every year: the food and there are multiple guys here every year. ~ Mike Tomlin

I would love to say that I have an eighth-inning guy, a seventh-inning guy, a left-handed guy, a long guy. ~ Brad Ausmus

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer. ~ Bob Monkhouse

Early on, they were timing my contract with an egg timer. ~ Conan O'Brien

You gotta try something people ain't seen before, and you gotta go to the gym and work on your dunks. In a slam dunk competition, don't show up with three dunks. You got to have eight or nine dunks because if you get into the finals and two guys may do the same dunk or one guy does the dunk better than the other. ~ Darryl Dawkins

I don't want to be that guy mumbling into his drink at a bar. ~ Bill Murray

I have two moods when I get drunk. The common mood is the lazy, happy-go-lucky guy. The uncommon mood is the frustrated, self-deprecating guy. That night was the latter. ~ S.A. Tawks

I'm a "what you see is what you get" kind of guy. I don't have any time to be showing anybody any bag of tricks. ~ Guy Fieri

A girl should have two things: a smile, and a guy who inspires it. ~ Drake

How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love? ~ Sam Kinison

I'm usually the yes guy, and I had to turn into a no guy. ~ Keith Morris

George [Steinbrenner] is a great guy, unless you have to work for him. ~ Lou Piniella

I haven't spent my entire career playing the guy in the bad hat, although I have to say that the bad guy is frequently much more interesting than the good guy. ~ Christopher Lee

I need a minute to think, she said. I automatically started the timer on my watch. Suddenly Rosie started laughing. ~ Graeme Simsion

It's nothing personal, but I'm going to kill this guy ~ Mike Tyson

Now, everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. You got one, two, three, four, five, six, and seven ... OK, now most guys will hit one, two, three and then go to seven and set up camp ... You want to hit 'em all and you wanna mix 'em up. You gotta keep 'em on their toes ... You could start out with a little one. A two. A one, two, three. A three. A five. A four. A three, two. Two. A two, four, six. Two, four, six. Four. Two. Two. Four, seven! Five, seven! Six, seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! [holds up seven fingers] ~ Monica Denise Brown

Some guys fall in love with one girl, I gotta fall for two. ~ Elvis Presley