Tsa Quotes

We've done it in intelligence sharing and certain elements of security. There were parts of the department, in fact, that worked very well in Katrina, like the Coast Guard and TSA. ~ Michael Chertoff

Why is it that we all - myself included - believe these stories? Why are we so quick to assume that the TSA is a bunch of jack-booted thugs, officious and arbitrary and drunk with power? It's because everything seems so arbitrary, because there's no accountability or transparency in the DHS. ~ Bruce Schneier

It would be unwise to say the least, irresponsible of us at the TSA, at the Homeland Security Department not to evolve our technology to match the changing threat environment that we inhabit. ~ Janet Napolitano

Everything TSA does is reactionary - first they ban the box cutters, then of course you have to take your shoes off, then you have to take the liquids out, now we have to be patted down in our private areas because of the diaper bomber. ~ John Mica

Bridget adds, "Did Anyone bring a weapon?"
"Confiscated," Zach admits for both of us.
Vesper holds up her metal fingernail file. "They didn't take this."
We're dealing with the forces of evil," I point out. "Not the TSA. ~ Cynthia Leitich Smith

We're not trying to harass the average American. We need to convert this now to a risk-based system, with TSA concentrating and focusing on intelligence, on security, setting up again the parameters of which we do this. ~ John Mica

As I examine the exhibits of intercepted letters in files that never reached people, I try to decide if it is better or worse, the way Americans are spied on now. I remember the film The Lives of Others, about the Stasi agent who falls in love with the woman he's eavesdropping on, and recast it into the present, inside the American TSA complex. My fictional TSA agent reading his beloved's emails, listening to phone calls. ~ Anonymous

I saw a fellow in a Don't Tread on Me T-shirt the other day. He was at LaGuardia and he was being trod all over, by the obergropinfuhrers of the TSA, who had decided to subject him to one of their enhanced pat-downs. There are few sights more dismal than that of a law-abiding citizen having his genitalia pawed by state commissars, but having them pawed while wearing a Don't Tread on Me T-shirt is certainly one of them. ~ Mark Steyn

Or the woman in front of me in the security line who asked if they would put her cat, Dave, through the luggage X-ray machine because she wanted to see if he'd eaten a necklace. ~ Jenny Lawson

Zane heard Ty whuff from within the bathroom, and by the time he looked back, Ty had shoved Julian's face against the shower wall and was holding him there by the back of his head.
"Watch the elbows."
"Watch your fingers," Julian snapped.
"Welcome to TSA training, bitch."
"Want the other set of cuffs?" Zane asked, hoping to appease his cranky partner. "You could spread his arms out."
"Will someone please tell me the safe word?" Julian asked. ~ Abigail Roux

Domestic airplanes are basically designed to keep people seated, settled, and sedated for the duration of flight. If they could, they would install catheters in the seats and strap the people down from takeoff until landing. International flights are a little different, due to the part where sometimes people's veins explode if they sit still in a pressurized cabin for too long. (This may be a small exaggeration - emphasis on "small," not "exaggeration." Deep vein thrombosis is the silent killer of the long-haul flight.) To combat this, international carriers often encourage people to get up, move around, and keep their blood circulating normally. Sure, it means the aisles get a little crowded from time to time, and it makes the TSA nervous, but better that than a bunch of dead passengers. ~ Seanan McGuire

Seurity!" I yelled. "I'm being harassed!"

Security officers swarm around me and one orders me to step inside the small office area.

"What's the problem here?" the man behind the desk asks the TSA officer.

"She's harassing me, and I feel that I'm being discriminated against because of my intelligence level," I say.

The man looks at me. "What?"

"This woman attempted to engage me in idiotic conversation and I'm psychologically incapable of reacting in a positive way to such foolishness and we had an altercation after she threatened to throw away my ChapStick. ~ Stephanie McAfee

What we're going to do is try to get TSA out of the human resources and personnel business and into the security business to connect the dots. ~ John Mica

TSA needs to be totally changed. I would like them to be privatized. ~ Paul Broun

Other countries, such as Israel, successfully employ behavior detection techniques at their airports, but the bloated, ineffective bureaucracy of TSA has produced another security failure for U.S. transportation systems. ~ John Mica

I'm jittery.It's like the animatronic band from Chuck E. Cheese is throwing a jamboree in my stomach. I've always hated Chuck E. Cheese. Why am I thinking about Chuck E. Cheese? I don't know why I'm nervous.I'm just seeing my mom again. And Seany.And Bridge! Bridge said she'd come.
St. Clair's connecting flight to San Francisco doesn't leave for another three hours,so we board the train that runs between terminals,and he walks me to the arrivals area.We've been quiet since we got off the plane. I guess we're tired. We reach the security checkpoint,and he can't go any farther. Stupid TSA regulations.I wish I could introduce him to my family.The Chuck E. Cheese band kicks it up a notch,which is weird, because I'm not nervous about leaving him. I'll see him again in two weeks.
"All right,Banana.Suppose this is goodbye." He grips the straps of his backpack,and I do the same.
This is the moment we're supposed to hug. For some reason,I can't do it.
"Tell your mom hi for me. I mean, I know I don't know her. She just sounds really nice. And I hope she's okay."
He smiles softly. "Thanks.I'll tell her."
"Call me?"
"Yeah,whatever. You'll be so busy with Bridge and what's-his-name that you'll forget all about your English mate, St. Clair."
"Ha! So you are English!" I poke him in the stomach.
He grabs my hand and we wrestle, laughing. "I claim....no...nationality."
I break free. "Whatever,I totally caught you. Ow!" A gray-haired man in sun ~ Stephanie Perkins

I did learn something interesting [while at the Atlanta airport]. You have to be a member of the TSA in order to legally perform a cavity search. My apologies to the staff of Cinnabon, but you guys should really keep that extra frosting where the customers can find it. ~ Stephen Colbert

Go to any airport in this country and you'll see how well our government is dealing with the terrible danger you're in. TSA staffers are wanding 90-year-old ladies in wheelchairs, and burrowing through their suitcases. Toddlers are on the no-fly list. Lipsticks are confiscated. And it's all done with the highest seriousness. It's a show of protection and it stirs the fear pot, giving us over and over an image of being in grave personal peril, needing Big Brother to make sure we're safe. ~ Ann Medlock

I have to stop myself once an hour and remind myself that the universe isn't against me. That the woman in front of me in line at CVS didn't wake up and think, "I'm gonna make Iliza's life miserable today." (Honestly? Try as I might, I do believe there is a secret meeting in Los Angeles every morning at five where people gather and get their "Annoyance Assignments" for the day. I bet people are given tasks like, "just get in your car and drive on the freeway, any freeway; do whatever you can do to create more traffic and not contribute to society. Oh, and make sure that when your car breaks down, you never push it off to the shoulder." Or the people at the airport who don't know the rules. You know the ones. It's like, "WE ARE IN A TSA LINE! YES, YOU HAVE TO THROW OUT YOUR FUCKING WATER! YOU HAVE HAD TO THROW IT OUT FOR THE PAST SIXTEEN YEARS, TODAY ISN'T ANY DIFFERENT! THERE IS STILL A WAR ON TERROR!") ~ Iliza Shlesinger

The police state We now have well over 100,000 domestic federal law enforcement agents armed and ready to enforce the laws to "make everyone safe and secure." We also have our TSA "friends" at the airports protecting us with an army of over 50,000 bureaucrats. The Department of Homeland Security has more than 240,000 employees. The FBI has about 35,000 employees. Around 90,000 IRS employees enforce draconian tax laws that limit self-sufficiency, put people in fear, and are used as a political tool to help suppress dissenters to the empire. There are many thousands of others "making sure we're safe and secure from our foreign enemies" while our domestic enemies, including politicians, bureaucrats, and government profiteers, are ignored. ~ Ron Paul

The TSA holds its screener work force to the highest standards of security and professionalism, .. and will continue to focus on these principles as critical elements in the ongoing effort to provide the traveling public with world-class security and world-class customer service. ~ Robert Johnson

Believe in yourself, Zoey Redbird. I have Marked you as my own. You will be my first true U-we-tsi a-ge-hu-tsa v-hna-i Sv-no-yi . . . Daughter of Night . . . in this age. You are special. Accept that about yourself, and you will begin to understand there is true power in your uniqueness. Within you is combined the magic blood of ancient Wise Women and Elders, as well as insight into and understanding of the modern world. The ~ P.C. Cast

Every time I travel, government TSA officials seem to recognize that I'm a Muslim and 'randomly' pull me aside for 'special treatment'. My sincere hope and prayer is that, on the Day of Judgment, my Lord's angels also recognize me as a Muslim and pull me aside for special treatment ~ Abu Ammaar Yasir Qadhi

TSA serves as the operator, administrator and regulator for the nation's transportation security. But in fact, the TSA bureaucracy does all it can to thwart any conversion to a system with more private-sector operations and strong federal oversight and standards. This agency cannot, and should not, do it all. ~ John Mica

I'm a little disappointed I didn't get fiddled with by a TSA agent at the airport. I feel unwanted. Maybe next time. ~ William Regal

The TSA gets all upset about things like razor blades and pocket knives. They're narrow minded that way. ~ Rex Cutty

They swore at airport management, at the TSA, at the airlines, at their useless phones, furious because fury was the last defense against understanding what the news stations were reporting. ~ Emily St. John Mandel

The TSA tears through your bags at the airport and the NSA watches what books you buy and what you say over the telephone and online. It doesn't feel like anything is private anymore. ~ Sandra Cisneros

Getting frisked by the TSA guy would have been more fun if he'd looked like Charlie Hunnam, but then again, everything would be more fun with Charlie. ~ Kristen Proby