Troll Quotes

You! Troll!" Sevro shouts. "I'm a terrorist warlord! Stop throwing me. You made me drop by candy! ~ Pierce Brown

Three explanations dominate speculation about what Obama is up to. The first is that he's trying to lay the groundwork for his successor, presumptive nominee Hillary Clinton. The second is that he's trying to pad his legacy. The third is that he's trying to 'troll' or bait the GOP into debating his agenda rather than pursuing its own. All are plausible, and none necessarily contradicts the others. ~ Jonah Goldberg

So after E, it's A for 'Acceptable,' and that's the last pass grade, isn't it?"
"Yep," said Fred, dunking an entire roll in his soup, transferring it to his mouth, and swallowing it whole.
"Then you get P for 'Poor' " - Ron raised both his arms in mock celebration - "and D for 'Dreadful.' "
"And then T," George reminded him.
"T?" asked Hermione, looking appalled. "Even lower than a D? What on earth does that stand for?"
" 'Troll,' " said George promptly. ~ J.K. Rowling

He also had a version of Billy Goat's Gruff where the troll under the bridge ended up the winner. ~ Stephen King

Well, it's nice to know that the Trolls made it this far south,' Ulath said. 'I'd hate to have to go looking for them.'
'Their Gods were guiding them, Ulath,' Tynian pointed out.
'You've never talked with the Troll-Gods, I see,' Ulath laughed. 'Their sense of direction is a little vague - probably because their compass only has two directions on it.'
'Oh?'
'North and not-north. It makes finding places a little difficult. ~ David Eddings

The undeniable feeling that, as you castigate a troll, he's rubbing his Red Dwarf mouse pad against his crotch and sighing, Angry liberal women typing at me. Oh yah. That's how I like it. ~ Caitlin Moran

Constable Shoe,' said Constable Shoe, when the door of the bootmaker's factory was opened. 'Homicide.'
'You come 'bout Mister Sonky?' said the troll who'd opened the door. Warm damp air blew out into the street, smelling of incontinent cats and sulphur.
'I meant I'm a zombie,' said Reg Shoe. 'I find that telling people right away saves embarrassing misunderstandings later on. But coincidentally, yes, we've come about the alleged deceased. ~ Terry Pratchett

Did you think you could treat me like shit at a dance, then sneak into my room in the middle of the night and tell me that I'm a troll with magical powers, and I'd just be like, yeah, that sounds right. ~ Amanda Hocking

I pressed my fingers to my temples. "This is a nightmare. I'm going to wake up in a few minutes, the lock on my front door won't be broken, there will have been no knight, and Tink will still be a foot tall playing with troll dolls." "Oh, I'll still play with them," Tink replied.I squeezed my eyes shut. "If it makes you feel better, I can return to your Tink-approved size, ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

Then I will skin it and suck all the blood out of it unless it's a Troll. Trolls taste like ass. We tried two of the randy bastards just to make sure and we will not be imbibing Troll again any time soon, ~ Robyn Peterman

People who believe themselves to be white are obsessed with the politics of personal exoneration. And the word racist, to them, conjures, if not a tobacco-spitting oaf, then something just as fantastic - an orc, troll, or gorgon. ~ Ta-Nehisi Coates

Come to Elfland,' the troll said.

The child thought for a while. Other children had gone, and the elves always sent a changeling in their place, so that nobody quite missed them and nobody really knew. She thought awhile of the wonder and wildness of Elfland, and then of her own home.

'N-no,' said the child.

'Why not?' said the troll.

'Mother made a jam roll this morning,' said the child. And she walked on gravely home. ~ Lord Dunsany

Uh, excuse me, myrna. What did you just say? To me it sounded like 'I'm pregnant with the troll's baby and I'm going to handfast with him, Mama.' I know I couldn't have heard you right."~ Shannon Parker
"You hears me right, Mama. Except for the part about Grant being a troll. You know i've asked you a thousand times to quit calling him that." ~Myrna
"Lets see... he's short. The top of his head is flat. He has an underbite. And a squeaky little voice. All that says troll to me." ~ Shannon Parker

Divine by Blood (Part 2 Chapter 6) Partholon Series ~ P.C. Cast

If you tell them, I will pay a social visit to your mother." "That's playing dirty," Merrich said. "Perhaps, but you keep your patty-paws out of my love affairs." "Got it. I'll leave the Trieux Troll alone." "Her name is Cinderella." "Could you have said that and sounded anymore lovesick?" "Shut up. Let's go eat." "After you, lover-boy." "I hope she slaps you in the face when she meets you," Friedrich grumbled. "More ~ K.M. Shea

An abundance of Twitter users believe they can troll and rant with impunity, no matter how debasing or even threatening their 140-character posts pose. ~ Jonathan Capehart

Get out of my chair, dillhole! ~ A.A. Milne

Great snakes!" Penny says, snatching her hand away from me and jumping off the bed. "Fuck a nine-toed troll, Simon." She's shaking her hand, and there are tears in her eyes. "Stevie Nicks and Gracie Slick! Fuck! ~ Rainbow Rowell

Some of the fantasy objects arising from cybernetic totalism (like the noosphere, which is a supposed global brain formed by the sum of all the human brains connected through the
internet) happen to motivate infelicitous technological designs.
For instance, designs that celebrate the noosphere tend to energize the inner troll, or bad actor, within humans. ~ Jaron Lanier

My chair rolls to a stop. his voice cut short, followed by a thump and sliding sound. My wheelchair rolls forward again. I look back and see Ragnar pushing it innocently along. Sevro isn't in the hallway behind us. I frown, wondering where he went, till he bursts out of a side passage.
"You! Troll!" Sevro shouts. "I'm a terrorist warlord! Stop throwing me. You made me drop my candy!" Sevro looks at the floor of the hallway. "Wait. Where is it? Dammit, Ragnar. Where is my peanut bar? You know how many people I had to kill to get that? Six! Six!"
Ragnar chews quietly above me, and though I'm probably mistaken, I think I see him smile. ~ Pierce Brown

Put … the troll … down … and slowly back away. ~ Neal Stephenson

Jack stepped onstage dressed in jeans, sneakers, and a T-shirt.
"I'm the handsome Butterboy," Jack announced. "I'm the queen's soul mate. I just don't know it yet because I'm emotionally immature. Sorry, Conner."
Conner was so embarrassed, he sank into his seat and covered his face with his backpack. Trollbella was sporting a wide grin - this was her favorite part of the show. Red struck a theatrical pose with her hands over her heart.
"Be still my heart, for I am in love!" Red announced.
"Now, Peter!" Trollbella whispered.
Peter soared out from backstage and flew in circles over the audience. The children laughed and clapped - they reached up and tried to touch him. Conner was irritated by how much they were enjoying the show.
"Hello, Butterboy!" Red said to Jack. "Would you like to be my king and rule the trolls and goblins with me? Oh, how happy we will be together!"
"Oh boy, that sounds wonderful!" Jack said. "How lucky I am to be loved by such a beautiful and brilliant troll queen. I will never find someone like her ever again - nope, not once, no how, no way, not going to happen! I want to be with Trollbella for all eternity!"
"I never said that!" Conner shouted from his seat. "She's making this up! ~ Chris Colfer

Card five hundred and thirty-four," repeated Artemis. "Of a series of six hundred standard inkblot cards. I memorized them during our sessions. You don't even shuffle."
Argon checked the number on the back of the card: 534. Of course. "Knowing the number doesn't answer the question. What do you see?"
Artemis allowed his lip to wobble. "I see an ax dripping with blood. Also a scared child, and an elf clothed in the skin of a troll."
"Really?" Argon was interested now.
"No. Not really. I see a secure building, perhaps a family home, with four windows. A trustworthy pet, and a pathway leading from the door into the distance. I think, if you check your manual, you will find that these answers fall inside healthy parameters."
Argon did not need to check. The Mud Boy was right, as usual. ~ Eoin Colfer

Racism was not a problem on the DIscworld, because - what with trolls and dwarfs and so on - speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green. ~ Terry Pratchett

Yet we all dragged our cyborgian carcasses across the trashed planet every day. We all chased various forms of intoxication, hoping to soothe our savage souls. I could see myself some twenty years hence, a gray-haired troll slumped on a barstool, my nose a bulbous mess of clotted capillaries. ~ Julia Elliott

Time is an imp - a pesky, little, hellish troll that hastens the clock when I smile but then delays the passing of minutes when I frown. ~ Richelle E. Goodrich

The point is, it only traumatized me because I had the time to be traumatized. I want to be so famous and busy that I only ever find these insults amusing, and chuckle at them good-naturedly before I get on my private jet to be a UN Ambassador to Cameroon, or wherever. ~ Mindy Kaling

It's funny, you know, they're always telling me to be a man, take it like a man, act like a man, like they're afraid if they don't keep reminding me I'll grow up to be a centaur or a dining room table, like they know, somehow, that I'm not a man, like it's a spell they can cast, if they say it enough I'll be tricked into being a man forever."
... "Yes." Tamburlaine nodded. "They always say: be a lady, speak like a lady, behave like a little lady, that's not very ladylike, is it, dear?"
"Well, I won't be a man, or take anything like one or act like one!" The troll inside him rubbed his hands gleefully, crackling with anticipation.
"Come on, then ... Don't let's be men, or ladies either. Don't let's act like them or behave like them or speak like them! ~ Catherynne M Valente

He speaks over two hundred! Mermish and Gobbledegook and Troll …" "Anyone can speak Troll," said Fred dismissively. "All you have to do is point and grunt. ~ J.K. Rowling

You were safe on a troll. Anyone wanting to mug a troll would have to use a building on a stick. ~ Terry Pratchett

To live is to war with trolls. ~ Henrik Ibsen

Troll welcomes you to Norway, (these legendary creatures live throughout the mountains of Norway) ~ Constance Roos

My next climb is going to be a tourist troll in a wheelchair. ~ Allen Steck

There was movement on its broad shoulders, and Puck appeared, clinging to its back, a huge grin splitting his face. "All right," he announced grandly, as the troll jerked and spun around, trying in vain to reach him, "I claim this land for Spain." And ~ Julie Kagawa

Patrick's handsome face descended toward mine. He stopped when he was just a whisper away. "You have a beautiful mouth."
God, he was magnificent. Such harsh, sensual beauty. The luck of genetics and vampirism and gym time? Who knew?
He watched me watching him and I knew he was probably in my head, listening in on my thoughts, my confusion. He grinned, just a little, and I knew that rotten, ugly, fat troll was reading my mind.
He laughed, unrepentant, and his breath plumed my lips. How the hell did he do that? How could he pretend to breathe? Or better yet, why did he pretend to breathe? ~ Michele Bardsley

I don't really read what people write about me. Someone gives my novel one star; are they a troll? Are they someone who hates my politics and so has decided to do that? ~ Anna Quindlen

The Troll was well over seven feet tall, and smelled of body odour and Germolene. ~ Andrew Barrett

I was going to walk right into the hallowed halls in my battered Chucks and eans, to sit among first-edition Trollopes-assuming they'd restored them. Walk right up to whatever heavily armed security troll was at the door and demand admittance.
They wouldn't let me over the threshold. ~ Melissa Jensen

He did not himself believe in the supernatural, but the thing happened, and he proposed to tell it as simply as possible. It was stupid of him to say that it shook his faith in mundane affairs, for it was just as mundane as anything else. Indeed the really frightening part about it was the horribly tangible atmosphere in which it took place. None of the outlines wavered in the least. The creature would have been less remarkable if it had been less natural. It seemed to overcome the usual laws without being immune to them. ("The Troll") ~ T.H. White

If I'm going to be ruled by a high-minded pretty-faced troll, it might as well be you."
"I'm glad to hear it," I said, trying not to smile. "Who knows what would happen to my ego if you decided to abandon me. ~ Danielle L. Jensen

I live in one of the best places, bar none, to appreciate the wild natural environment. I also live in one of the most politically difficult places to work on its behalf: Alaska. ~ Kate Troll

I wanted to come back the minute I'd Disapparated, but I walked straight into a gang of Snatchers, Hermione, and I couldn't go anywhere!"
"A gang of what?" asked Harry, as Hermione threw herself down into a chair with her arms and legs crossed so tightly it seemed unlikely that she would unravel them for several years.
"Snatchers," said Ron. "They're everywhere--gangs trying to earn gold by rounding up Muggle-borns and blood traitors, there's a reward from the Ministry for everyone captured. I was on my own and I look like I might be school age; they got really excited, thought I was a Muggle-born in hiding. I had to talk fast to get out of being dragged to the Ministry."
"What did you say to them?"
"Told them I was Stan Shunpike. First person I could think of."
"And they believed that?"
"They weren't the brightest. One of them was definitely part troll, the smell off him…"
Ron glanced at Hermione, clearly hopeful she might soften at this small instance of humor, but her expression remained stony above her tightly knotted limbs. ~ J.K. Rowling

Key West has become an imitation of its former self, its eccentricities commoditized for sale to tourists. That "character" you see with a parrot on his shoulder is about as authentic as vinyl siding, employed to provide local color. Gargantuan cruise ships dock two or three times a week, disgorging passengers by the thousands to troll the cheesy T-shirt shops on the main drag, Duval Street. And with all sorts of diversions to keep visitors occupied, like parasailing and jet skiing, tourist season is year-round, clogging the streets with autos, bikes, motor scooters, and pedestrians. I ~ Philip Caputo

I'm a troll," he said. Then he paused, and added, more or less as an afterthought, "Fol rol de ol rol. ~ Neil Gaiman

A criminal trial is like a cultural in-flight test in which society projects its own history, fears, impatience, insolence, clemency, insecurities, dreams and nightmares upon facts ... What's inside is every fairy-tale monster, a brutal ogre, a bloodthirsty werewolf, an elegant vampire, a scheming devil, a bullying giant, a sneering troll, or maybe just an abusive stepfather. ~ Ron Franscell

And yet we say this. Here is the cave at the end of the world, peace is made between dwarf and troll, and we will march beyond the hand of Death together. For the enemy is not Troll, nor is it Dwarf, but it is the baleful, the malign, the cowardly, the vessels of hatred, those who do a bad thing and call it good ... ~ Terry Pratchett

I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. It's strange, because I think I look like a troll wearing a woman's wig backwards. ~ Noel Fielding

Shut up sergeant. You're a free troll. That's an order
Sam Vimes ~ Terry Pratchett

Faërie contains many things besides elves and fays, and besides dwarfs, witches, trolls, giants, or dragons; it holds the seas, the sun, the moon, the sky; and the earth, and all things that are in it: tree and bird, water and stone, wine and bread, and ourselves, mortal men, when we are enchanted. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

Club em if they want a club, " Belch said, and chuckled. A Belch Huggins chuckle was a low, troll-like sound. "Club em if they want a club. That's good. That's pretty much okey-dokey. " She became ~ Stephen King

In some darkened corner, an evil troll named Karma was rolling on the floor laughing, hysterically. ~ Belle Malory

Danny. You're a Troll, driving a cab. Yesterday, I was a superhero, and today I'm addicted to jam. Jam. Do you really think we get to pass judgment on what does and does not get to exist? ~ Seanan McGuire

There passed a child of four, a small girl on a footpath over the fields, going home in the evening to Erl. They looked at each other with round eyes.

"Hullo," said the child.

"Hullo, child of men," said the troll.

. . . "What are you?" said the child.

"A troll of Elfland," answered the troll.

"So I thought," said the child.

"Where are you going, child of men?" the troll asked.

"To the houses," the child replied.

"We don't want to go there," said the troll.

"N-no," said the child.

"Come to Elfland," the troll said.

The child thought for a while. Other children had gone, and the elves always sent a changeling in their place, so that nobody quite missed them and nobody really knew. She thought awhile of the wonder and wildness of Elfland, and then of her own house.

"N-no," said the child.

"Why not?" said the troll.

"Mother made a jam roll this morning," said the child. And she walked on gravely home. Had it not been for that chance jam roll she had gone to Elfland.

"Jam!" said the troll contemptuously and thought of the tarns of Elfland, the great lily-leaves lying flat upon their solemn waters, the huge blue lilies towering into the elf-light above the green deep tarns: for jam this child had forsaken them! ~ Lord Dunsany

From my big beautiful warlock brain, welcome to 'Sheen's Korner' ... You're either in my corner, or you're with the trolls. ~ Charlie Sheen

One troll called me 'Slutty the bush skankaroo'. ~ Gabrielle Tozer

Is it ... can we ... is it safe?"
Tub checked the lot but he seemed unconcerned.
"Coach Lawrence nabbed him for practice. We live to fight another day, soldier."
"No ... I mean, the thing ... is it ... ?"
Tub frowned.
"The thing. Hmmm. Can you be more specific?
I clutched at the bumper and raised myself to unsteady feet. I patted the truck bed, taking solace in the cake of dust. It was real; I was not caught in a nightmare. I smeared the dust with my fingers and smelled it.
"If you lick that, we're no longer friends," Tub said. ~ Guillermo Del Toro

Being trampled almost to death by a preoccupied troll is almost the ideal cure for a person confused about what is real and what isn't. Reality is something walking heavily up your spine. ~ Terry Pratchett

In this book industry we have different kinds of birds; excepting one; all having in common that they are ONLY watchers and squawkers at the pond. We have readers, editors, reviewers, interviewers, publishers, marketers, websites, monopolies, and writers. All are better compensated than the writers. Yet the system is totally upside down as those better rewarded are all derivative of what is primary; the writer. Without that person the readers have nothing to read; the editors have nothing to edit; the reviewers have nothing to review; the interviewers have no one to interview; the publishers have nothing to publish; the marketers have nothing to market; the website cannot adware infect 'members,' and the legalized monopolies have nothing to monopolize. So, in effect, this is where the troll steps in. He's kind of a writer; but he's not taking the time to churn out masterpieces. He's just effortlessly telling the vultures exactly what they are. ~ Edward Drobinski

Come to think of it, I am already keeping correspondence with a dog, with whom, I must admit, I find myself rather smitten. Also, I'm secretly hoping Mrs. Wiggles ends up a full halibut when this is through, because that would save me a trip to the market... although if Hatun's troll keeps company with a tabby, perhaps he wouldn't much appreciate a meal that used to be a cat."
Jackaby stared "I've already ruined you, haven't I?"
"Looks that way."
"And I suppose there's nothing to be done about it?"
"Not a thing. ~ William Ritter

The wisdom god, Woden, went out to the king of the trolls, got him in an armlock, and demanded to know of him how order might triumph over chaos. "Give me your left eye," said the troll, "and I'll tell you." Without hesitation, Woden gave up his left eye. "Now tell me." The troll said, "The secret is, 'Watch with both eyes!'" - John Gardner ~ Benjamin Graham

Miss Granger, you foolish girl, how could you think of tackling a mountain troll on your own? Five points will be taken from Gryffindor for this," said Professor McGonagall. "I'm very disappointed in you."
Hermione left. Professor McGonagall turned to Harry and Ron.
"Well, I still say you were lucky, but not many first years could have taken on a full-grown mountain troll. You each win Gryffindor five points. ~ J.K. Rowling

MG was nearly mythical, other than my entries - no interaction with users on
the off chance one was a Fernoza on the troll. And today proved I couldn't take a stranger bearing gifts at face-value. ~ A.E.H. Veenman

Elliot was trying to teach himself trollish via a two-hundred-year-old book by a man who'd had a traumatic break-up with a troll. This meant a lot of commentary along the lines of "This is how trolls say I love you. FOOTNOTE: BUT THEY DON'T MEAN IT! ~ Sarah Rees Brennan

The Librarian considered matters for a while. So ... a dwarf and a troll. He preferred both species to humans. For one thing, neither of them were great readers. The Librarian was, of course, very much in favor of reading in general, but readers in particular got on his nerves. There was something, well, sacrilegious about the way they kept taking books off the shelves and wearing out the words by reading them. He liked people who loved and respected books, and the best way to do that, in the Librarian's opinion, was to leave them on the shelves where Nature intended them to be. ~ Terry Pratchett

Everyone wants to look good in photographs, even us trolls who tell jokes. ~ Doug Benson

Although I like a good scary movie, I've never actually believed anything paranormal or supernatural could be real ... until today. Magic genies, witch spells, and magic troll dolls with funky bright hair are other ideas that have crossed my mind. It also occurs to me that I may be going crazy, and will have to be committed before I finish high school. ~ Jen Naumann

Yes, but Chrysoprase the troll has this odd little thing about money that turns into lead the next day," said Teatime cheerfully. "So our friend needs to earn a little cash in a hurry and in a climate where arms and legs stay on. ~ Terry Pratchett

Goals you refuse to chase don't disappear - they become ghosts that haunt you. Do you know why strangers rage at each other online and are so quick to be angry and offended these days? Because their passion has no other outlet. When you refuse to deal in joy, you don't quit being emotional; you just funnel all that fury somewhere else. Many a troll was born from the heartache of a goal he dared not finish. Maybe a troll is just someone who lost to perfectionism so many times he gave up on his own goals and decided to tear down someone else's. ~ Jon Acuff

You look like a troll doll, a fucking demented troll doll. ~ Audrey Bell

Magic
Sandra's seen a leprechaun,
Eddie touched a troll,
Laurie danced with witches once,
Charlie found some goblins gold.
Donald heard a mermaid sing,
Susy spied an elf,
But all the magic I have known
I've had to make myself. ~ Shel Silverstein

We should differentiate between criminals who make violent threats online, and trolls who are just arseholes ~ Bonnie Greer

Any fool knew that arguing with a troll was pointless. ~ April Adams

Be careful because cyberspace is a two way street those that hunt and stalk and troll can also become the hunted by those that they harass and attack. Cyberspace has a definite dark side. ~ Don A. Holbrook

'Troll 2' is one of the rare sequels where you don't have to waste time watching the first one, since the films have absolutely nothing to do with one another. ~ Eli Roth

I never troll for material. It simply presents itself, and is always unmistakable. This is why I want to roll my eyes when people interrupt themselves in the middle of some story they're telling me to say, "You know you can't write about this." ~ Dani Shapiro

I wonder what happened to 'em all?"
"You," said the horse.
"Well, yes. But I always thought there'd be some more. ~ Terry Pratchett

I'm serious, Jim. You need to put this crap away. You walk into school on Monday talking to me, or anyone else, about the city's pesky troll problem, and you're not exactly going to get a lot of people saying, 'Gee, thanks for the warning.' It'll spread faster than mono. You think things are tough for us now? Jim, this will be the end. I'm sorry if you had a crazy nightmare. I really am. But I can't let you ruin our lives. ~ Guillermo Del Toro

Once you've been squashed by a giant, a troll doesn't even seem nearly as heavy. ~ Christopher Healy

Trolls have a longstanding animosity for goats
"Who's that trip-tapping across my bridge!?"
and this led me to think that perhaps trolls are related to goats, since it seems a lot more plausible to me that your relatives would make you insane than some random hooved mammal, however ecologically destructive it might be. What if trolls evolved from goats? Or, no, better yet, what if goats evolved from trolls? Or were domesticated from trolls by human shepherds? And the trolls despise their domesticated cousins as a disgrace to the once-proud troll race, (much as I assume wolves would despise Chihuahuas if they ever gave them much thought) and eat them at every opportunity. ~ Ursula Vernon

I think I could have won state today. Apparently, you put a troll on my heels and I turn into a superstar. ~ Aprilynne Pike

Why did you defect now? Why here? There are other troll tribes and hundreds of cities that aren't at war with your King."
"But only the Trylle have Wendy." Loki's smile returned but his eyes ere pained. "And how could I pass on that?"
"She is married, you know," Finn said. "So it might be a good idea if you stopped trying to flirt with her. She's not interested."
"It's up to her to decide who she's interested in," Loki said, with an edge to his voice. "And it's not exactly like you're following your own advice."
"I am her tracker." Finn sat up in bed, but this time I didn't try to stop him. His eyes were burning. "It's my job to protect her."
"No, Duncan is her tracker." Loki pointed to where Duncan stood in the doorway, staring wide-eyed at their confrontation. "And Wendy's stronger than the both of you combined. You're not protecting her. You're protecting yourself because you're a lovesick ex-boyfriend."
"You think you have everything figured out, but you don't know anything," Finn growled. "If it were up to me I'd have you sent back to the Vittra in a flash."
"But it's not up to you!" I snapped. "It's up to me. And this conversation is over. Finn needs to rest, and you are not helping anything, Loki."
"Sorry," Loki said and rubbed his hands on his pants.
"Why don't you go back to your room?" I asked Loki. "I'll be over to talk to you in a minute."
He nodded and got up. "Feel better," Loki said to Finn, and he actually soun ~ Amanda Hocking

You want to know a secret?"
"Always."
"My real name is Dave."
"I see."
"This doesn't seem to amuse you."
"I met Jeremy the troll a few nights ago."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously. Also known as the Mighty Raaaarrggh! Although ... I can sorta see why you changed the name. 'Dave' isn't knwon for its mysterious, mystic sexiness. ~ Kate Griffin

You know your marriage is in trouble when your wife would rather listen to a cackling drug lord than accept your apology. ~ Red Tash

Do you have troll turds in your ears? ~ JENKS

I had a job as an illustrator, and I wanted to change the direction of my work. I moved to the country, and immediately I started to paint fairies and trolls. ~ Brian Froud

And one day Amber takes her troll's dinner down to the cave and finds him - " Rock waved his hands in vague yet thoroughly descriptive motions " - with another lady troll. So she go home and get her club and come back and beat him to death, thump, thump, thump. 'Cos he was her troll and he done her wrong. Is very romantic song. ~ Terry Pratchett

Some of the farm's work reached a level of granularity that stunned Lyudmilla. Two trolls would go on the comments sections of small' provincial newspapers and start chatting about the street they lived in, the weather, then caually recommend a piece about the nefarious West attacking Russia.

No one who worked at the farm described themselves as trolls. Instead, they talked about their work in the passive voice ('a piece was written', 'a comment was made'). Most treated the farm as if it was just another job, doing the minimum required and then clocking off. Many of them seemed pleasant enough young people, with open, pretty faces, and yet they didn't blink when asked to smear, degrade, insult and humiliate their victims. The ease with which victims were attacked, the scale at which the farm operated, it all stunned Lyudmilla. ~ Peter Pomerantsev

Christmas time! That man must be a misanthrope indeed, in whose breast something like a jovial feeling is not roused - in whose mind some pleasant associations are not awakened - by the recurrence of Christmas. There are people who will tell you that Christmas is not to them what it used to be; that each succeeding Christmas has found some cherished hope, or happy prospect, of the year before, dimmed or passed away; that the present only serves to remind them of reduced circumstances and straitened incomes - of the feasts they once bestowed on hollow friends, and of the cold looks that meet them now, in adversity and misfortune. Never heed such dismal reminiscences. There are few men who have lived long enough in the world who cannot call up such thoughts any day of the year. Then do not select the merriest of the three hundred and sixty-five for your doleful recollections, but draw your chair nearer the blazing fire - fill the glass and send round the song - and if your room be smaller than it was a dozen years ago, or if your glass be filled with reeking punch, instead of sparkling wine, put a good face on the matter, and empty it offhand, and fill another, and troll off the old ditty you used to sing, and thank God it's no worse. ~ Charles Dickens

I was working at eBay, so I would just troll the vintage categories, find old amps and what have you. I was buying a fair amount of stuff and playing with it and then selling it back. ~ Bill Orcutt

[Rincewind] drew his sword and, with a smooth overarm throw, completely failed to hit the troll. ~ Terry Pratchett

This world is built on awkwardness, on the idea that there is someplace where it's okay to be different. Where it's okay not to be perfect," the troll said. "This world lives in more than one imagination. It was simply your hand that finally gave it a face. ~ R.K. Ryals

I cringed, though; for as much as I did not want to marry a troll, I was just as certain the troll didn't want to marry me. ~ Danielle L. Jensen

My feet are like something from another age - prehistoric and troll-like. I keep expecting them to talk, they have that much character. ~ Sally Hawkins

You know, schizoid behavior is a
pretty common thing in children. It's accepted, because all we adults have this
unspoken agreement that children are lunatics. They have invisible friends. They
may go and sit in the closet when they're depressed, withdrawing from the world.
They attach talismanic importance to a special blanket, or a teddy bear, or a
stuffed tiger. They suck their thumbs. When an adult sees things that aren't
there, we consider him ready for the rubber room. When a child says he's seen a
troll in his bedroom or a vampire outside the window, we simply smile
indulgently. We have a one-sentence explanation that explains the whole range of
such phenomena in children--"

"He'll grow out of it," Jack said. ~ Stephen King

Always have some project under way...an ongoing project that goes from day to day and thus makes each day a small unit of time. ~ Lillian Troll

It was only after they had left the bridge and its gaurdian far behind that Theo realized he had left Tansy's telephone-brooch in the pocket of his jacket. He had no plans to go back for it, of course: as far as Theo was concerned, that piece of two-legged ugliness was welcome to blow out Tansy's long-distance bill or download a ton of troll-porn and charge it to the Daisy commune.
Betray me, huh? Taste the Revenge of Vilmos! ~ Tad Williams

I have come to realise that the most critical of the social media accounts are the least verbal in real life and I can assure you that most social media trolls have no physical troll land to dwell. ~ Aysha Taryam

Paugh!" the troll scoffed. "Romance. Kissing and folly. Where's the story, where's the philosophy? I'm a troll, and even I can't rip a bodice. You should read real literature. The classics." He held up a book called Ye Olde Clubbe of Fisticuffs. "This is one of my favorites. It's all about, like, rejecting capitalism." He held up another, the spine as yet uncracked, called Alliance of Nincompoops. "Or this one, about a misunderstood genius. You should read it. I'd love to chat about what the true meaning of success is when we're living in a world that values looks instead of substance. ~ Delilah S. Dawson

Once upon a time, there lived a troll that was so naughty and so evil that he decided to make a mirror that would twist the image of anything and anyone reflected in it. ~ Ken T Seth

When I perform, I don't think about the haters, the Internet trolls, or anyone else. I care about giving the person in front of me something they won't forget. And that's why I bring the cake and raft out. ~ Steve Aoki

Where do you even start with Cinderella? Let's ignore Cinderella's victim status and total lack of self-determination and head straight for the prince who was, let's face it, a bit of a jerk. Despite being captivated by Cinderella's radiant beauty for half the night, come the cold light of day he has completely forgotten what she looks like and only has her shoe size to go on. Either he was suffering from some sort of early onset Alzheimer's disease or else he was completely off his face during the big ball. the end result is that he goes trawling through the kingdom in some sort of perverted foot-fetish style quest for someone, anyone, who fits the glass slipper. Just how superficial is this guy? What if Cinderella had turned up at the ball looking exactly like she did only with a mole on her face and that had a couple of twelve-centimetre hairs sticking out of it? What if a bearded troll just happened to have the same shoe size as Cinderella? 'Ah, well. Pucker up, bushy cheeks, it's snog time.' And no one ever bothers to question the sheer impracticality of Cinderella's footwear. Glass might be good for many things but it's not exactly malleable in its cooled state. If everyone turned and gaped when Cinderella made her big entrance into the ball, it's only because she'd have come staggering in like a drunken giraffe on rollerblades. Bit of a head turner. ~ John Larkin