Toilet Insides Quotes

This is one of the weird things about motherhood. You can predict that some of your best moments will happen around the toilet at six am while you're holding a pile of fingernail clipping like a Santeria priestess. ~ Tina Fey

Her boyfriend, Camdon or Brandon or whatever his name is, tosses Callie his wallet and says, 'Gotta take a leak.' They exchange a kiss--- which, I mean, why? Is he going to drown in the toilet? ~ Julie Murphy

Since the invention of the flush toilet and the vacuum carpet cleaner, the modern man seems to judge a man's moral standards by his cleanliness, and thinks a dog the more highly civilized for having a weekly bath and a winter wrapper round his belly. ~ Lin Yutang

It wasn't that I couldn't write. I wrote every day. I actually worked really hard at writing. At my desk by 7 A.M., would work a full eight and more. Scribbled at the dinner table, in bed, on the toilet, on the No. 6 train, at Shea Stadium. I did everything I could. But none of it worked. ~ Junot Diaz

Are you really going to let a toilet stand in the way of you and financial independence? ~ Robert Kiyosaki

I lived on Fulton Street in an enormous studio - I needed a bicycle to get to the toilet, about half a mile between two streets - next to Wall Street. ~ Erro

They didn't have very far to fall--I knew just being a girl in the world handicapped your ability to believe yourself. Feelings seemed completely unreliable, like faulty gibberish scraped from a Ouija board. My childhood visits to the family doctor were stressful events for that reason. He'd ask me gentle questions: How was I feeling? How would I describe the pain? Was it more sharp or more spread out? I'd just look at him with desperation. I needed to be told, that was the whole point of going to the doctor. To take a test, be put through a machine that would comb my insides with radiated precision and tell me what the truth was. ~ Emma Cline

I am a writer who does not enjoy writing. I can find innumerable ways to avoid it. But, to rip off Dorothy Parker, nothing else - nothing - gives me the same thrill as having written. I'm the same way with knitting. The process is fine, mind you, and keeps my hands busy. But nothing else - nothing - gives me the rush that I get from finishing something.

"The parallels between writing and knitting go even further. Like writing, knitting has a finite number of raw ingredients. There are twenty-six letters in the alphabet. Those letters can combine to give you David Foster Wallace or freshman composition papers. There are only two basic stitches: the knit and the purl. Those stitches can add up to a gorgeously complicated sweater or a pastel pink toilet paper cozy. The difference is in the mind that shapes them. ~ Adrienne Martini

[We] are, in fact, so close to the amusement park that [our] toilet is referred to as "the log flume. ~ Dan Adams

Over the years our mother has beaten us with belts, shoes, rulers, extension cords, hair brushes, a wooden spoon, a fly swatter, a toilet brush, wire coat hangers, wooden coat hangers and sometimes one of our own toys. When you get whacked by your own paddleball paddle or you have to watch your sister getting spanked with a badminton racquet that she asked Santa Claus (AKA Grandma) to bring, you don't feel much like playing with those things ever again. ~ Bob Thurber

Racism tears down your insides so that no matter what you achieve, you're not quite up to snuff. ~ Alvin Ailey

The city was shredding them block by block. No place was safe. The air was alive with hurtling chunks of hot metal. They heard the awful slap of bullets into flesh and heard the screams and saw the insides of men's bodies spill out and watched the gray blank parlor rise in the faces of their friends, and the best of the men fought back despair. They were America's elite fighters and the were going to die here, outnumbered by this determined rabble. Their future was setting with this sun on this day and in this place. ~ Mark Bowden

„You know, life is just programmed chaos. Everybody starts out on one side - that's the programmed part. But then chaos happens, and our album flips. We get fat or thin, or dye our hair and pierce our nose. But those are just our outsides. Our insides are still beautiful, even if we think we're ugly children. ~ Kirstin Cronn-Mills

I love my ex so much I printed out all his pictures. After all, I need him for target practice. And I just love customised toilet paper and doormats. My only regret is that those items don't bear his autograph. ~ Natalya Vorobyova

At the store, they have one-hundred-percent-recycled toilet paper," Marla says. "The worst job in the whole world must be recycling toilet paper." I ~ Chuck Palahniuk

My kingdom for a flush toilet. ~ Lisa Tawn Bergren

I'm out of tissues for toilet paper too. History notes just aren't ... up to scratch ~ Andrea K. Host

It's our insides that make us who we are, that allow us to dream and wonder and feel for others. That's what's essential. That's what will always make the biggest difference in our world. ~ Fred Rogers

And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl. ~ Bill Cosby

Why should anyone raise an eyebrow because a latter-day Einstein's wife expects her husband to put aside that lifeless theory of relativity and help her with the work that is supposed to be the essence of life itself: diaper the baby and don't forge to rinse the soiled diaper in the toilet paper before putting it in the diaper pail, and then wax the kitchen floor. ~ Betty Friedan

Muse is not to be so easily dismissed. She is quite capable of turning your insides to ash before you can draw breath to apologize. ~ Pippa DaCosta

When it happens to you, you will be surprised. That thing they say about how you knew all the time but just weren't facing it? That might be the case, but nevertheless, there you will be. You will feel like you have been kicked in the stomach, that your insides have just separated to make room for something big. ~ Molly Ringwald

He ran his hands over the insides of Zane's thighs, looking down to watch himself pull almost completely out. He pushed at the backs of Zane's legs, forcing his knees up more toward his chest. Ty was still kneeling when he began to thrust his hips forward, head down and biting his lip as he watched the shaft slide in and out of Zane's tight ass. He loved to watch that. "You ~ Abigail Roux

But there was a type of terror that didn't care about reality, a fear that lived in secret places, and it clawed at her soft insides. ~ Kat Howard

I know you're in there, Mercedes," Faye says. "I can see your dirty Converse shoes. You really should get a new pair."

"Did you see it?" I croak. "If you saw it, you probably saw a lot more of me. You probably shouldn't be seen talking to me. And I should probably switch schools."

"That's the thing," Faye says, stopping right outside the stall door and rapping on the metal with her fist.

"What's the thing?" I say, pushing my shoe against the toilet paper dispenser, making no move to let her in.

"I never was any good at doing what people tell me."

And like that, her head appears under the stall door, followed by her body. She pulls herself in and wipes her hands on her jeans.

I raise my eyebrows. "You know how disgusting that floor is?" I say. "Janitorial service at this school leaves a lot to be desired."

She cocks her head and puts her hands on her hips. She looks like what I imagine a stern parent would look like, not that I know from experience. I wonder if she got that posture from Lydia.

"First of all, you didn't let me in, so I had no choice. ~ Laurie Elizabeth Flynn

Going to a movie so you won't be offended is like eating potato chips made with Olestra; you avoid the dangers of the real thing, but your insides fill up with synthetic runny stuff. ~ Roger Ebert

You asked a question about Martin Luther King.... All that stuff about "the dream" means nothing to the kids I know.... He died in vain. He was famous and he lived and gave his speeches and he died and now he's gone. But we're still here. Don't tell students in this school about "the dream." Go and look into a toilet here if you would like to know what life is like for students in this city.
-a student at East St. Louis High School, 1990 ~ Jennifer L. Hochschild

The COVID-19 pandemic has made abstaining from butt wiping fashionable. ~ Steven Magee

Yup, the toilet is my best friend before a show. ~ Eric Carr

The best time to write is when your life is in the toilet. Writing offers an escape from your problems, so if you force yourself to write when you're in the doldrums, it will have the perverse effect of cheering you up. At the very least, it allows you to inflict your pain on your characters, which has the dual effect of giving them more depth while relieving your own tension. ~ Sabrina Jeffries

Myron was just getting comfortable when he heard a toilet flush. He looked a question at Win. "I am not alone," Win said. "Oh." Myron adjusted himself on the couch. "A woman?" "Your gifts," Win said. "They never cease to amaze." "Anybody I know?" Myron asked. Win shook his head. "Not even somebody I know." The norm. Myron looked steadily at his friend. "You want to talk about this?" "No." "I'm here if you do." "Yes, I see that." Win swished around the drink in the snifter. He finished it in one gulp and reached for the crystal decanter. There was a slight slur in his speech. Myron tried to remember the last time he had seen Win the vegetarian, the master of several martial arts, the transcendental meditator, the man so at ease and in focus with his surroundings, have too much to drink. It had been a very long time. "I have a golf question for you," Myron said. Win nodded for him to proceed. ~ Harlan Coben

It was not long after sunrise, and Stephen Waterman, fresh from his dip in the river, had scrambled up the hillside from the hut in the alder-bushes where he had made his morning toilet. ~ Kate Douglas Wiggin

I'm about to wake Brianna up to see if she knows anything when Carolyn comes in. Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail and she's wearing workout clothes - sports bra, cropped leggins, running shoes.
For a moment, I'm speechless. She's sweaty, her face is bright red from exertion, and she's slightly out of breath. Her ab muscles pulse as she takes a swig from her water bottle. She smiles at me, her lips wet from the water or sweat or both, and something strange happen-I feel like a hand has clenched around my insides and is tugging, urging me toward her, and I suddenly feel very warm. Hot, even. Like I've been hit with a fever. I have to remind myself to breathe.
She's even more beautiful now than she was yesterday.
And here I am, in this ridiculous pink sack, probably with major bedhead. ~ Jessica Verdi