Tina Fey Quotes

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Quotes About Tina Fey

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That turned-up collar. The jacket that zipped all the way down the front into a nice fitted shape. The white denim that made my untanned skin look like a color. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Some photographers are compulsively effusive. "Beautiful. Amazing. Gorgeous! Ugh, so gorgeous!" they yell at shutter speed. If you are anything less than insane, you will realize this is not sincere. It's hard to take because it's more positive feedback than you've received in your entire life thrown at you in fifteen seconds. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Donna was an enigma wrapped in bacon wrapped in a crescent roll. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
There are a couple of things I want to impart to ladies who want to be in comedy: One, you don't have to be weird or be quirky to get your job done. And two, comedy skill is not sexually transmittable. You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you're doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
(One of the best-kept secrets of "country life" is that people accidentally crush their own pets a lot.) The ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Maybe you bought this book because you love Sarah Palin and you want to find reasons to hate me. We've got that! I use all kinds of elitist words like "impervious" and "torpor," and I think gay people are just as good at watching their kids play hockey as straight people. Maybe ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
I only hope that one day I can frighten my daughter this much. Right now, she's not scared of my husband or me at all. I think it's a problem. I was a freshman home from college the first time my dad said, "You're going out at ten p.m.? I don't think so," and I just laughed and said, "It's fine." I feel like my daughter will be doing that to me by age six.
How can I give her what Don Fey gave me? The gift of anxiety. The fear of getting in trouble. The knowledge that while you are loved, you are not above the law. The Worldwide Parental Anxiety System is failing if this many of us have made sex tapes. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
The eyes are the window to where the soul is supposed to be. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Sometimes people expect that I'm going to be tough. It's not a bad situation. People treat you better. People are on time. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Some people say, "Never let them see you cry." I say, if you're so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Trying to be a leader in a sort of very atypical workplace like 'Saturday Night Live' forces you to realize that no one wants you to be their leader. If you can help them get their thing on TV or whatever, they want that. But no adult is looking for a role model. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
[ ... ] things most people do naturally are often inexplicably difficult for me. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
The Rule of Agreement reminds you to "respect what your partner has created" and to at least start from an open-minded place. Start with a YES and see where that takes you. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
NBC. How could I not? I grew up watching Seinfeld, Johnny Carson, Late Night with David Letterman, and reruns of The Mothers-in-Law. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
However, the baby was thriving. I was no longer feeling trapped, spending thirty out of every ninety minutes attached to a Williams-Sonoma Tit Juicer. But ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
It's harder to make something good when you can't curse all the time. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Ladies gotta say no to their husbands at the movies. They gotta say: "No, we are watching back-to-back cancer movies. And then this movie about a cat." ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Tracy: Stop eating people's old french fries, little pigeon. Have some self-respect. Don't you know you can fly? ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
I like to write about women, not so much about the way they relate to men, but about the way they relate to each other. And I don't think anyone's really doing it. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person's nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: "No, I'm a person. You can't fix my underpants on the subway." ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
For most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us, unless you believe in evolution. Actually, I take it back. The whole thing is a disaster. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Was walking home alone from school and I was wearing a dress. A dude drove by and yelled, "Nice tits." Embarrassed and enraged, I screamed after him, "Suck my dick." Sure, it didn't make any sense, but at least I didn't hold in my anger. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
I'm a big fan of 'The Office', both the British and the American versions. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
If you're going to expend energy being mad about Photoshop, you'll also have to be mad about earrings. No one's ears are that sparkly! ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh. I was an obedient girl, and humor was my one form of rebellion. I used comedy to deflect. Like, 'Hey, check out my zit!' - you know, making fun of yourself before someone else has a chance to. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Every morning, when Alaskans wake up, one of the first things they do, is look outside to see if there are any Russians hanging around. And if there are, you gotta go up to them and ask, 'What are you doing here?' and if they can't give you a good reason, it's our responsibility to say, you know, 'Shoo! Get back over there!' ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Saudi Arabian police arrested seven teenage boys for leering at women. In accordance with Saudi law, the boys will be whipped and the women will be stoned to death. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
All Beyoncé and JLo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Q: Is 30 Rock the most racist show on television? A: No, in my opinion it's NFL football. Why do they portray all those guys as murderers and rapists? ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Anyone watching '30 Rock' always knew Tina Fey was playing a fictionalized version of herself, a workaholic comedy writer who also plays one on TV. She's the boss; Liz Lemon just works here. ~ Rob Sheffield
Tina Fey quotes by Rob Sheffield
The Supreme Court is expected to rule this week whether banning cross burning by groups like the Klu Klux Klan violates the first amendment. The outcome could affect the entertainment at Trent Lott's Christmas party. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Almost everyone first realized they were becoming a grown woman when some dude did something nasty to them ... It was mostly men yelling shit from cars. Are they a patrol sent out to let girls know they've crossed into puberty? If so, it's working. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
in the closet to grab a Sunday school ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
What's that you say? None of them want that? You are correct. So I spent four years attempting to charm the uninterested. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
It is a testament to my parents that they never reacted negatively to the four-year-long pride parade that marched through their house. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
My husband doesn't like to fly. He does fly now because he doesn't want our daughter to grow up thinking he is a Don Knotts character. But when we were first married, he didn't fly. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
called Jeff back in Chicago. "You grew up way out in the country with a bunch of brothers. Did you ever pee in cups and, like, leave them around?" Jeff was incredulous. "What? No! That's disgusting." One thousand points for Jeff. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
And remember, when you work in what is basically a cage that you're not allowed to leave, your choices are limited to what strolls by. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
I grew up in a family of Republicans. And when I was 18 and registering to vote, my mom's only instruction was 'You just go in and pull the big Republican lever.' That's my welcome to adulthood. She's like, 'No, don't even read it. Just pull the Republican lever. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Do your thing and don't care if they like it. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Of course I'm not supposed to admit that there is triannual torrential sobbing in my office, because it's bad for the feminist cause. It makes it harder for women to be taken seriously in the workplace. It makes it harder for other working moms to justify their choice. But I have friends who stay home with their kids and they also have a triannual sob, so I think we should call it even. I think we should be kind to one another about it. I think we should agree to blame the children. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
The New York Post quoted Senator Hillary Clinton saying that she would never run for President, declaring "That is not something I'm going to be doing. "Which in Clinton talk means "I will be President in three years. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Was it too much to expect the rest of the world to care about grammar or pay attention to details? ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
If you're a die-hard "foodie," hop off the road in DuBois and enjoy a Subway sandwich made at a place that is eighty percent gas station. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
It's one thing to be a wisecracking precocious teen hanging out with twenty-seven year olds.It's another thing to get in the way of a grown man trying to get laid. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
An acting teacher once told me, 'Greet everything with yes ... Even if you abandon one idea for another one, saying yes allows you to move forward.' ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
My problem with the traditional acting method was that I never understood what you were supposed to be thinking about when you're onstage. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
I really looked up to Tina Fey as a writer, and because I did have a background in writing, she is someone whose career I really did admire. ~ Nasim Pedrad
Tina Fey quotes by Nasim Pedrad
I guess what I would tell women is to get their education first, before having kids. That way they can keep their options open down the road. I also think that it shouldn't necessarily be an issue just for women, that men should be part of the stay-home discussion too. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Now if you're not „hot", you are expected to work on it until you are. It's like when you renovate a house and you're legally required to leave just one of the original walls standing. If you don't have a good body you have down to a neutral shape, then bolt on some breast implants, replace your teeth, dye you hair, and call yourself the Playmate of the Year.
How do we survive this? How do we teach our daughters and our gay sons that they are good enough the way they are? We have to lead by example. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.' I have been blorft every day for the past seven years. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
There are so many quiet times you spend as a mother that aren't glorified but are a foundation for your kids. No matter what, there was always a thick safety net under this trapeze. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
You all watched a sketch about feminism and you didn't even know it because of all the jokes. It's like when Jessica Seinfeld puts spinach in kids' brownies. Suckers! ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Tina Fey is my comedy wife. I have known her for almost a double decade. We met each other when we were poor and single. Now we are both rich as shit and have husbands all over the world. People think of us as a "comedy team" and I am not quick to correct them. Why wouldn't I want to connect myself to the fiercest and most talented voice in the comedy world? ~ Amy Poehler
Tina Fey quotes by Amy Poehler
I think 'Saturday Night Live', starting in the 1970s, really gave women an outlet to be funny. A lot of those women went on to have film careers, from Kristen Wiig now to Tina Fey and Gilda Radner. ~ Emma Stone
Tina Fey quotes by Emma Stone
How do you juggle it all' people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. 'You're fucking it all up, aren't you' their eyes say. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
In response to the escalating violence in Iraq, President Bush is delaying the return home of 25,000 troops and will actually add reinforcements to the south. Then in a symbolic gesture he pulled down the mission accomplished banner, put on a flight suit, walked backwards to a jet fighter and flew it in reverse off an aircraft carrier. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
But if you have an opinion, please feel free to offer it to me through the gap in the door of a public restroom. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Around 5:30 P.M., Oprah and I wrapped and I went over to SNL, but not before stealing an untouched Edible Arrangements bouquet from Oprah's dressing room to serve at the birthday party the next day. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Girls get a lot of mixed messages - they are told, 'Girl Power!' and what does that mean? It means you wear a T-shirt that says, 'Girl Power!' but you call each other bitches. You make fun of a girl for being a virgin and you make fun of a girl for having sex. There's no right place to be. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Only Colin Quinn was direct about it. "Your father doesn't fucking play games. You would never come home with a shamrock tattoo in that house." That's Don Fey. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Pennsylvania Governor's School for the Arts, an exclusive state-run arts intensive that might as well have been called the Pennsylvania Governor's Blow Job Academy. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
My electric-blue-suitmate was an uninhibited vagina about town. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
In an interview, Paris Hilton said that of her and her sister, "People love to hate us. But when you know us, you love us. And if you really get to know us, you get gonorrhea." ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
When choosing sexual partners, remember: Talent is not sexually transmittable. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn't think anyone would notice, but i persevered because like you trying to a do a nine- piece jigsaw puzzle, it was a labor of love. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
When a man plays a woman in a dress, you're halfway there. It's inherently funny. When a woman plays a man, for whatever reason, it's not that instant kind of funny. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
The same ten minutes that magazines urge me to use for sit-ups and triceps dips, I used for sobbing. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
I know it's bullshit that I say "babysitter" instead of nanny. What I have is a full-time nanny, and I should be roundly punished for trying to make it seem like the teenager next door comes over one night a week. But I don't like the word "nanny." It gives me class anxiety and race anxiety. And that is why I will henceforth refer to our nanny as our Coordinator of Toddlery. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
I was turning out to be college educated and unemployable in even the most basic way. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
At ten I asked my mother if I could start shaving my legs. My dark shin fur was hard to ignore in shorts weather, ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Defective" was a big word in our house. Many things were labeled "defective" only to miraculously turn functional once the directions had been read more thoroughly. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
This made no sense to me, probably because I speak English and have never had a head injury. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
A French newspaper accidentally ran a picture of Amy and me from the Katie Couric sketch thinking it was a picture of Couric and Palin. Although I think that had less to do with the "power of satire" and more to do with the fact that to the French, we are all indistinguishable fat dough balls. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
There are never fewer than eight Tracey Ullman characters in any NYC nail salon at any given time. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
I hope for his sake that Tracy's apology will be accepted as sincere by his gay and lesbian coworkers at 30 Rock, without whom Tracy would not have lines to say, clothes to wear, sets to stand on, scene partners to act with, or a printed-out paycheck from accounting to put in his pocket. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
The first rule of improvisation is AGREE. Always agree and SAY YES. When you're improvising, this means you are required to agree with whatever your partner has created. So if we're improvising and I say, 'Freeze, I have a gun,' and you say, 'That's not a gun. It's your finger. You're pointing your finger at me,' our improvised scene has ground to a halt. But if I say, 'Freeze, I have a gun!' and you say, 'The gun I gave you for Christmas! You bastard!' then we have started a scene because we have AGREED that my finger is in fact a Christmas gun. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
That summer I got to know four families in which half the children were gay. In case you're interested from a sociological point of view, they were always Catholic and there were always four kids, two of whom were gay. What Wales is to crooners, my hometown may be to homosexuals - meaning there seems to be a disproportionate number of them and they are the best in the world! ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
But I am a big believer in "Intelligent Design," and by that I mean I love IKEA! ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Pilot scripts are particularly difficult to write because you have to introduce all the characters without it feeling like a series of introductions. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
I would do almost anything Tina Fey asks me to do. ~ Nancy Pelosi
Tina Fey quotes by Nancy Pelosi
was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means "Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
I'm a working parent and I understand that sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not. Children and Jimmy Carter ruin all your best-laid plans. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
My parents are very well-behaved. If anything, if my Mom were here right now, she would hug and kiss every one of you hello, and then she would feed you. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
And don't think that by eating freedom fries you are being patriotic and helping the war effort. Use less gasoline, read a newspaper. You know what, how about we cool it with the freedom fries anyway you fat asses. We're the fattest country in the world. Have you ever walked around an American mall? It's nothing but chick fillets and Lane Bryant track suits busting at the seams. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, "My brother's gone crazy. He thinks he's a chicken." And the psychiatrist says, "Have you told him he's not a chicken?" The man replies, "I would, but we need the eggs. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
To this day, all I know is there are between two and four openings down there and that the set up inside looks vaguely like the Texas Longhorns logo. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
I've always been able to tell a lot about people by whether they ask me about my scar. Most people never ask, but if it comes up naturally somehow and I offer up the story, they are quite interested. Some people are just dumb: 'Did a cat scratch you?' God bless. Those sweet dumdums I never mind. Sometimes it is a fun sociology litmus test, like when my friend Ricky asked me, 'Did they ever catch the black guy that did that to you?' Hmmm. It was not a black guy, Ricky, and I never said it was. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Amy Poehler and I have been friends for so long, we're like Oprah and Gale. Only we're not denying anything. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Whenever you see me, I'm on antique quaaludes. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society ... unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
They had a place where they belonged, and, even if it was because he didn't want to deal with their being different, he didn't treat them any differently. Which I think is a pretty successful implementation of Christianity. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
Bossypants Lesson #183: You Can't Boss People Around If They Don't Really Care ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
There was a rich old guy named John Donnelly who must have donated a bunch of money. He had forgotten his member card one day, and when I tried to explain that it was a four-dollar fee to enter without a card, he went batshit. "Don't you know who I am, goddammit?" I had never seen him before. "Do you know who I am?" I wanted to say. "Then how could I know who you are? We don't know each other. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
You must not look in that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet, for today is about dreams and illusions, and unfiltered natural daylight is the enemy of dreams. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
In Into the Woods, Cinderella runs from her prince, Rapunzel is thrown from a tower for her prince, and Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
"30 Rock" is over, so I definitely aspire to write another movie again; eventually, will try to pitch something for television again. ~ Tina Fey
Tina Fey quotes by Tina Fey
I think Amy Poehler and Tina Fey have done so much for women in comedy in the sense that they've normalized it. You don't think, 'I'm going to watch that comedy starring a woman,' you think, 'I'm going to watch that funny show.' They refuse to play the foils for men, or be reduced to the butt of every joke, and I love that about both of them. ~ Tatiana Maslany
Tina Fey quotes by Tatiana Maslany
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