The Wedding Beat Quotes

Love means never having to shave your back. ~ Devan Sipher

I think I'm going to wear blue to the wedding. I saw this gorgeous dress on sale at Macy's the other day. I think I have a coupon," Mom tells Liz.

"Oh hell no! I already told you I was going to wear blue, you whore. You can't wear the same color as me, that's tacky," Liz complains.

Oh my God, this is not happening right now.

"Fuck your mother. I'm wearing blue. I already found my dress," Mom argues.

"I'm the mother of the bride. The mother of the f**king bride! That means it's up to me!" Liz fires back.

"Claire, I think you would look lovely in blue," Tyler pipes in.

Mom turns to face Tyler and folds her arms on top of the table. "When I'm finished neutering you, I'm going to take your tiny little neuticles and light them on fire. ~ Tara Sivec

HeroicPublicSpeaking.com. It was the power of having each other's backs that made this possible and resulted in a long-term business partnership and friendship. At HeroicPublicSpeaking.com, we offer tons of free tips sheets, guides, e-books, and video training on public speaking and on-camera performance techniques for both professionals and laymen alike. So, if you have a wedding toast, a big presentation, a sales pitch, or just want to improve your ability to communicate, head over there now. ~ Anonymous

The meeting would be safe as a wedding. ~ Mario Puzo

I have a confession to make. I don't really want to know. I like a happy ending as well as the next person, but I love the mystery and the uncertainty and the electric current of possibility. There's a reason the best love stories end at the first kiss. Jane Austen had this down; it's all about the chase. We're not really interested in Elizabeth and Darcy after the wedding bells fade, or in Cinderella and her prince after the slipper is returned. ~ Sophie Blackall

It's interesting because a lot of my 16-year-old kids' friends know me from 'Wedding Crashers,' and not so much Bond. My kids have a good laugh. I was 20 then. The look I had then was the look that a lot of their friends are assuming now. They think it's cool. What goes around comes around. ~ Jane Seymour

I remove my wedding rings and put them in the jewelry box. So many others have done this. I am not the only one. I am not the only one. But here, I am the only one. ~ Elizabeth Berg

Of course, we know that the world sees this wedding as a historical event. The first recorded marriage union between a Lunar and an Earthen since the second era. And maybe that is important. Maybe the love and compassion these two people have for each other is symbolic of hope for the future. Maybe this wedding signifies the possibility that someday our two races will not only learn to tolerate each other, but to love and appreciate each other as well. Or, maybe ... " Kai's eyes glinted. " ... this relationship has absolutely nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with our shared human need to find someone who will care for us as much as we care for them. To find a partner who complements us and teaches us. Who makes us stronger. Who makes us want to be our best possible self. ~ Marissa Meyer

Marriageable girls as well as mothers understand the terms and perils of the lottery called wedlock. That is why women weep at a wedding and men smile. ~ Honore De Balzac

You might think that, by way of us all being people, we might see something of ourselves in the lives of our clients. Some family-based practice, for example, that called to mind our own. We did not. We saw precious little to remind us of humanity in the private lives of our clients. There are no such links in prostitution. The closest a prostitute will get to understanding anything of her client's family life is by noticing a baby seat in the back of his car or feeling the cold metal of his wedding ring pressed against the inner walls of her vagina. ~ Rachel Moran

He reaches over a goat that's come between us and grabs my hand.
"Don't let go!" he orders. Harper's hand is dry and soothing, while mine is sweaty with fear. We've never held hands before. I think about what it means in the village when boys and girls only a few years older then Harper and me wander around with their hands clasped together. They're always peering dreamily into each other's eyes, sneaking sky kisses ... and soon after, there's a wedding. ~ Margaret Peterson Haddix

The fact that I am marrying the man of my dreams is all that matters. ~ Anna Bell

I want you to officiate your brother's wedding ceremony." "What?" Forrest would have been less surprised if his father had told him he wanted him to wear a tutu and cluck like a chicken. "I don't understand. That's the alpha's job." "Yes, ~ Renee George

Can we discuss this after the wedding?"
"No."
Damn. It was worth a shot.
"Fine." I glanced around the car. How does one ask for privacy in the back of a limo occupied by eight observers? To their credit, my friends did their best impression of quality assurance engineers, checking the seat cushions for stitch durability and picking lint from the carpet. ~ Penny Reid

No," said Jacob, "I don't mean to say that this life is just a party, any kind of party. It is a wedding, the most important kind of party, full of joy, fear, hope, and ignorance. And at this party there are enough places and parts for everyone, and if no one can play every part, yet everyone can come to the party, everyone can come to the wedding feast, and anyone who does not know that he is at a wedding feast just does not see what is in front of him. He might as well be dead if he does not know that the world is a wedding. ~ Delmore Schwartz

I don't subscribe to the notion
that flowers are a terrible gift
because they die.
So will you.
And is your heart,
the spirit and meat of it,
chief of dreams,
commander pump,
a terrible gift
for someone loved? ~ Chelsea Bayouth

A shotgun wedding performed by a fornicating vicar, featuring a reluctant bridegroom in love with the vicar's housekeeper and a frothing bride hellbent on revenge. ~ Elizabeth George

The shower turned out to be glorious once I adjusted the water to a cool enough temperature so as not to produce any steam. I washed my hair, noticing that my favorite shampoo suddenly smelled like Hades--as did my trusty facial scrub, which had so loyally saved my face from looking like the back of a lizard on the day of my wedding. Just as I was rinsing the last of the suds from my hair, Marlboro Man suddenly burst through the door of the bathroom and yelled, "Hey!"
I screamed bloody murder from the startle, then screamed again because I was naked and feeling queasy and unattractive. Then I felt sick from the excitement. "Hi," I managed, grabbing a towel from the rack and wrapping it around myself as quickly as I could.
"Gotcha," he said, smiling the sexiest smile I'd ever seen while in such a sick state. Then he stopped and looked at me. "Are you okay?" He must have noticed the verdant glow of my skin.
"I'll be honest," I said, making my way back to our bedroom. "It's pretty bad. I'm going to try to get in to the doctor today and see if there's anything he can do about it." I fell backward onto the bed. "My ears must have been permanently damaged or something."
Marlboro Man moved toward me, looking like the cat that had just eaten the canary. "Scared you, didn't I?" he chuckled as he wrapped his arms around my towel-cloaked body. I breathed him in, wrapping my arms around him, too.
Then I shot up and raced back to the bathroom so I could throw up a ~ Ree Drummond

A girl is supposed to be ecstatic on her wedding day. According to tradition, getting married is what we live for. Hope your wedding day is soon, they say. To young girls even, barely ten years old. May we all celebrate your wedding day. What did it feel like for her, though? She waits at her father's house, all dressed up in white. The men in her family all proud, happy, one less mouth to feed, one less honor to defend. ~ Rabih Alameddine

Here's the thing, as long as you're there with me, wolf scout, it's impossible for our wedding day not to be perfect. ~ Krista Ritchie

Now, we, as narrators, feel the need to inform you, dear reader, that we do not know how Edward always managed to thwart kisses. All we do know is that it was a gift he demonstrated throughout his life, most notably when his third cousin the Lady Dalrymple of Cheshire was about to kiss her new husband over their wedding altar, just after the priest pronounced them man and wife, and Edward stepped forward from his place of honor by the priest and said, "I hate to interrupt, but I thought now would be an excellent time to remind the wedding party not to throw rice, on account of the fact that birds, even kestrels, can choke on it. ~ Cynthia Hand

[The maid] went on and on about how you and three casks of wine and three women spent the week before our wedding trying to...you know"--Adrienne muttered an unintelligible word--"your brains out."
"To what my brains out?"
"You know." Adrienne rolled her eyes.
"I'm afraid I don't. What was that word again?"
"Adrienne looked at him sharply. Was he teasing her? Were his eyes alight with mischief? That half-smile curving his beautiful mouth could absolutely melt the sheet she was clutching, not to mention her will. "Apparently one of them succeeded, because if you had any brains left you'd get out of my sight now," she snapped.
"It wasn't three." Hawk swallowed a laugh.
"No?"
"It was five."
"Adrienne's jaw clenched. She held her fingers up again. "Fourth--this will be a marriage in name only. Period."
"Casks of wine, I meant."
"You are not funny. ~ Karen Marie Moning

Are you afraid of dying?"
"I was at first, maybe I still am a little bit. But it's not death that scares me so much as not being alive anymore. It's missing all the things that I would have seen if I hadn't gotten AIDS. Things like my daughter's graduation, her wedding, my grandchildren. I'll never see those things, and that makes me sad. ~ Deanna Lynn Sletten

I'll meet you at the altar" "I'll be the one in white! ~ Stephenie Meyer

And the gold of her ruined wedding dress. ~ Cassandra Clare

The five rings of marriage: there's the engagement ring and the wedding ring, but there are three others, too: the boring, the suffering and the lawyering. I watched it for 20 years from behind a bar in Ft. Lauderdale. I prefer to stay single. ~ Steve Trotter

Our wedding plans please everybody as if we were fertilizing the earth and creating social luck. ~ Marge Piercy

If you ever go to any event ever, for any reason, they will give you a tote bag. Medical conference? Tote bag. Wedding? Tote bag. Syrian refugee arriving in Canada? Maple leaf tote bag. My orthodontist gave me a tote bag. And a t-shirt. Which I put in the tote bag. ~ Jennifer McCartney

Women who marry early are often overly enamored of the kind of man who looks great in wedding pictures and passes the maid of honor his telephone number. ~ Anna Quindlen

Most of the guests left the rehearsal dinner at the country club; the remaining group--a varied collection of important figures in both of our lives--had skittered away to the downtown hotel where all of the out-of-town guests were staying. Marlboro Man and I, not ready to bid each other good night yet, had joined them in the small, dimly lit (lucky for me, given the deteriorating condition of my epidermis) hotel bar. We gathered at a collection of tiny tables butted up together and wound up talking and laughing into the night, toasting one another and spouting various late-night versions of "I'm so glad I know you" and "I love you, man!" In the midst of all the wedding planning and craziness, hanging out in a basement bar with uncles, college friends, and siblings was a relaxing, calming elixir. I wanted to bottle the feeling and store it up forever.
It was late, though; I saw Marlboro Man looking at the clock in the bar.
"I think I'll head back to the ranch," he whispered as his brother told another joke to the group. Marlboro Man had a long drive ahead, not to mention an entire lifetime with me. I couldn't blame him for wanting a good night's sleep.
"I'm tired, too," I said, grabbing my purse from under the table. And I was; the long day had finally set in.
The two of us stood up and said our good-byes to all the people who loved us so much. Men stood up, some stumbling, and shook hands with Marlboro Man. Women blew kisses and mouthed Love you guys! to ~ Ree Drummond

Kev," Win said calmly, stepping forward, "I would like to talk to you about something."

Merripen, attentive as always to his wife, gave her a frowning glance. "Now?"

"Yes, now."

"Can't it wait?"

"No," Win said equably. At his continued hesitation, she said, "I'm expecting."

Merripen blinked. "Expecting what?"

"A baby."

They all watched as Merripen's face turned ashen. "But how ..." he asked dazedly, nearly staggering as he headed to Win.

"How?" Leo repeated. "Merripen, don't you remember that special talk we had before your wedding night?" He grinned as Merripen gave him a warning glance. Bending to Win's ear, Leo murmured, "Well done. But what are you going to tell him when he discovers it was only a ploy?"

"It's not a ploy," Win said cheerfully.

Leo's smile vanished, and he clapped a hand to his forehead. "Christ," he muttered. "Where's my brandy?" And he disappeared into the house.

"I'm sure he meant to say 'congratulations,' " Beatrix remarked brightly, following the group as they all went inside. ~ Lisa Kleypas

I think he painted the way he did," I answered, "because he had something perfect with Diana."
I braced myself for her next scathing insight and nearly fell over when she reached out to pat my hand. Her wedding ring was a heavy,hammered gold band that could probably pound nails.
"Nothing but the occasional espresso is perfect," she said, not unkindly. "Let me share some wisdom, Willing Girl. Relationships are like Whack-a-Mole. You squash one annoying deformity and another one pops up in no time."
Not your classic sentiment, there. Or a particularly heartening one. It seemed well meant, though, so I figured it might be a good time to inform her, "Um, my name....is Ella. Marino."
"Oh,I know who you are, Miss Marino," she shot back. "Shall I mention again that the Willing Foundation doesn't?"
"No,Dr. Rothaus," I said meekly. "No need."
"Excellent." Dr. Rothaus headed for the door. "You may call me Maxine. Good luck finding something I haven't. And don't cry on the materials. ~ Melissa Jensen

Believe it or not, but from the moment you rescued me at the wedding I haven't thought of, looked at, or even dreamed about another woman. You're the only one occupying my entire universe. ~ Milly Taiden

Our first stop was London, where there were a few competitions leading up to Blackpool. I had never seen this level of competition before. I was so excited by the energy and the feeling of being around all these amazing dancers. I wasn't overwhelmed, just a little embarrassed. Everyone looked so polished, and they all smelled like fancy cologne. Comparatively, I looked and felt like the poor kid on the block. I didn't own the proper costume (white tie, black jacket, and black trousers), so I'd rented one from a wedding store before we left home. It was baggy in all the wrong places, and I didn't have the right shoes.
Watching the dancers get ready backstage, we realized we were also completely unprepared. They'd put water or castor oil on the floor and rub the soles of their shoes in it. Then they'd scratch the soles with a wire brush, roughening up the suede to prevent slipping. As we stepped out for the first round, Autumn spit in the middle of the dance floor and rubbed her feet in it. She encouraged me to do the same, so I did--hoping that not too many people were watching. I remember thinking, Yeah, we are definitely from out of town. ~ Derek Hough

I've done a lot of stupid things because of my fear of taking a chance on someone. But the most stupid thing I ever did was push you away. ~ Jennifer Shirk

Speaking of cupcakes, Will wants two dozen off your special menu to take on the road after the wedding."
"The, erm, peach kind?"
"The peach kind," Lindsey said.
"I like the peach kind," Josh said.
Mikey had named them Sex on a Peach. And they were Kimmie's second biggest seller, after the Hairy Dicks, which were coconut cake balls strategically placed with Dahlia's chocolate-covered, ice cream-filled bananas.
And Josh's frown had disappeared, and now he was grinning as if he knew it.
All of it. ~ Jamie Farrell