Tanning Quotes

New vampires are discouraged from trying to return to their normal human routines. Especially if those routines include tanning or working as a fireman. Your day will not end well. ~ Molly Harper

I do a combo situation of lotion and body makeup and put it on with my moisturizer in the morning. That seems to work best for me because self-tanning lotion always streaks and looks kind of crazy. So I put on some body makeup and wash it off at night. I have to do it every day, but that's just a part of my life now. ~ Brittany Snow

The man in the headdress nodded. "On that note, I'd like to quickly ask David if there's been any headway in getting the air conditioning back online." A slight murmur of discontent indicated the importance of this matter, directed at a blond young man with a tanning-bed complexion. "Well, Gary," he sighed. "There isn't much we can do without electricity, but my team has been researching alternatives. One of my engineers proposed a system of fans powered by dogs in giant hamster wheels, but the major issue there is our limited dog inventory. We'll keep looking into it. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw

Art has always been the raft onto which we climb to save our sanity. I don't see a different purpose for it now. ~ Dorothea Tanning

But her no leather - no fur policy drew fire. Critics charged that faux hides, many of which are petroleum based, were more damaging to the earth than the real stuff.

Bull, said McCartney. "Livestock production is one of the major causes of ... global warming, land degradation, air and water pollution, and loss of biodiversity", she shot back, with more than fifty million animals farme and slaughtered each year just to make handbags and shoes. Conventional leather tanning employs heavy metals such as chromium, which results in waste that is toxic to humans. ~ Dana Thomas

Surfing is not my strong point. And ... I don't really have a tan. I go to the tanning place, the one that sprays you with color. ~ Lori Loughlin

Even though sugar was very expensive, people consumed it till their teeth turned black, and if their teeth didn't turn black naturally, they blackened them artificially to show how wealthy and marvelously self-indulgent they were. ~ Bill Bryson

The whole notion of the nursing home was something dreamed up by people like my mother; American women with sunglasses, always searching for their tanning lotion or cigarette lighters. ~ David Sedaris

Tanning is tricky, because a lot of people just look orange. ~ Laura Linney

Most of us buy pricey antibacterial soaps and use them religiously, but how many of us look at the ingredients in our air fresheners before we dust them around the house? There are people who won't drink water from a tap, but will speed on the highway, eat at McDonald's, bake in a tanning booth, or pay someone for the chance to parachute out of a moving plane--all activities that can carry greater risks. And how many smokers would complain about pollution if they lived next to a smokestack? ~ Anahad O'Connor

How do I like to spend my day off? I like to hit up the juice bar, the bookstore, tan, and then flirt with the pharmacy tech at Walmart. ~ Crystal Woods

Normally for photo shoots I get a full wax, some tanning, a facial. ~ Elizabeth Banks

I lived in a picture perfect subdivision with color coordinated houses and mailboxes, yellow labs prancing within the borders of invisible electric fences, and balding dads on riding lawn mowers. It was the type of community where housewives spent their summers tanning by the pool, half-heartedly watching their Ritalin pumped brat beat another brat with a foam noodle while rehashing Sunday's Bible study between whispers of Susie's weight gain and Dan's canoodling with the babysitter. ~ Maggie Young

He had the kind of real deep tan that rich people spent ages trying to achieve with expensive holidays and bits of tinfoil, when really all you need to do to obtain one is work your arse off in the open air everyday. ~ Terry Pratchett

Just don't fall into a tanning bed.
These machines are for vapid, narcissistic, idiots who have barren vacuums where their thoughts, fears, and passions should be.
Spending time in a tanning bed will only earn you the appearance and intellect of an inbred baked potato.
Don't be a baked potato.
Be a person. ~ Matthew Inman

And seriously, maybe you should stop tanning. You look like a fucking Cheeto. ~ Stacy Borel

I went through a period when I was about 19 where I'd go tanning with my boyfriend in tanning beds. Yes, this was actually a thing we used to do together. They were not my friend. I had no idea what I was doing. We all went in the early 2000s. Needless to say, I don't go anymore. If I need a quick fix, I get a spray tan - though it's never a good idea for me with my fair skin. ~ Brittany Snow

But in the early 1900s, the medical profession began to promote the health benefits of tanning. Workers were increasingly moving into factories where complexions grew pallid, as the upper classes spent more time outside playing sports. ~ Anonymous

Your mother, my mother, and mother of pearl walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hello, dad, you look more like whiskey than I remember. Have you been tanning?" To which all three mothers respond, "The French Revolution was the best thing to ever happen inside a croissant the shape of the Fertile Crescent, with a flaky crust like a politician with dandruff." Of course, when Orafoura told me this joke, I didn't laugh, because I don't like jokes involving politics, religion, or mother of pearl. ~ Jarod Kintz

Someone with a figure like Jennifer Aniston has a trainer, a cook spinning out some version of the latest diet, and probably a stop at the tanning salon. ~ Amanda Peet

Chadron had a water tower, grain elevators, a tanning salon, a video rental store, a small liberal arts college, a Hardee's, a stoplight, and a curling yellow sign in the pet store window that read, 'Hamsters and Tarantulas Featured Today.' ~ Poe Ballantine

People go tanning because they like to feel tan. You feel more sexy when you're tan and I don't understand why you would tax on that, because you're making yourself feel more happy about yourself. ~ Nicole Polizzi

I'm pretty pale. In high school I was insecure and thought it'd be cool to go to a tanning bed. Now I just let it look the way it looks. ~ Taylor Swift

The truth is that all this was just part of the suicide process. Because tanning and steroids are only a problem if you plan to live a long time.
Because the only difference between a suicide and a martyrdom really is the amount of press coverage.
If a tress falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, doesn't it just lie there and rot?
And if Christ had died from a barbiturate overdose, alone on the bathroom floor, would He be in Heaven This wasn't a question of whether I was going to kill myself. This, this effort, this money and time, the writing team, the drugs, the diet, the agent, the flights of stairs going up to nowhere, all this was so I could off myself with everyone's full attention. ~ Chuck Palahniuk

Out back of the tannery had been, and I expect still is, a half-buried lagoon of arsenic-based insecticides and tanning chemicals, plus hundreds of barrels of crud-eating machinery detergents and other tannery process by-products, including lead and chromium. ~ C.G. Bauer

If that's how it all started, then we might as well face the fact that what's left out there is a great deal of shrapnel and a whole bunch of cinders (one of which is, fortunately, still hot enough and close enough to be good for tanning). Trying to find some sense and order in this mess may be as futile as trying to ... reconstruct the economy of Iowa from a bowl of popcorn. [On searching for evidence of the Big Bang.] ~ Barbara Ehrenreich

I use fake tan myself with a self tanning spray. ~ Lisa Snowdon

The healthcare reform bill now includes a tanning booth tax of 10 percent. You know what this means? This whole thing could be funded by the cast of 'Jersey Shore.' ~ Jay Leno

Why? You want to know why? Step into a tanning booth and fry yourself for two or three days. After your skin bubbles and peels off, roll in coarse salt, then pull on long underwear woven from spun glass and razor wire. Over that goes your regular clothes, as long as they are tight. ~ Laurie Halse Anderson

I used to spray tan a lot when I was a teenager. The last time I got spray-tanned was for the Golden Globes. And I was like, 'I love spray-tanning so much.' I still really like it. But it definitely makes me look like I have leprosy, after a point. ~ Emma Stone

They powdered their wigs, too. One could choke on the arsnenic and talcum. I can't imagine it was good for the lungs of living, but one does what one must for fashion. At least the women weren't tottering around on five-inch heels, constantly in peril of berking bones." He paused a moment, then said, "What made it easier for vampires was that we lived by candlelight, lamplight - it makes everyone look healthier, even the sick. The harsh lights you favour now ... well. Difficult. I heard that a few vampires have taken to those spray-tanning salons, to get the proper skin tones." -Myrnin ~ Rachel Caine

A lesser complaint: hair extensions. There are moments on 'All My Children' when half the women actors, young and old, seem to be afflicted by android Barbie creep. All those thick swatches of lifeless strands clustering lankly round ladies' necks! Like orange tanning spray, this is a fashion fad that should be put out of its misery. ~ Camille Paglia

WASHINGTON -Stop sunbathing and using indoor tanning beds, the acting U.S. surgeon general warned in a report released Tuesday that cites an alarming 200 percent jump in deadly melanoma cases since 1973. The report blames a generation of sun worshipping for the $8 billion spent to treat all forms of skin cancer each year. ~ Anonymous

Have so many merry little pots bubbling away in the fire of my enthusiasm: Myron, future trips, modern poetry, Yeats, Sitwell, T. S. Eliot, W. H. Auden, villanelles, maybe Mlle, maybe The New Yorker or The Atlantic (poems sent out make blind hope spring eternal - even if rejections are immanent), spring: biking, breathing, sunning, tanning. All so lovely and potential. ~ Sylvia Plath

All those things we used to promise ourselves we'd never, ever do when we grew up. Like we promised we wouldn't mince when we walk barefoot. We promised we wouldn't lie out on the beach tanning instead of swimming, or swimming with our chins high so we wouldn't wet our hairdos. We promised we wouldn't wash the dishes right after supper because that would take us away from our husbands; remember that? How long since you saved the dishes till morning so you could be with Max? How long since Max even noticed that you didn't? ~ Anne Tyler

I've gone to a tanning bed. ~ Ryan Seacrest

They built these little tanning booths for Brooke and I to do nothing but lay down and tan all over. ~ Christopher Atkins

What happened to your face?"

"What happened to yours?" I retorted. "You look like a damn Oompa Loompa. You should lay off the spray tanning, Lea. ~ Jenny Trout

Back then they used different chemicals in the tanning process. They prevent ocean bacteria from eating away at whatever is inside. A leather bag from the early 1900's is like a time capsule. ~ Giselle Fox

Melanin is the black pigment which permits skins to appear other than white (black, brown, red and yellow). Melanin pigment coloration is the norm for the hue-man family. If there are non-white readers who disagree with this presentation of white rejection of the white-skinned self, may I refer you to the literature on the currently developing sun-tanning parlors. ~ Frances Cress Welsing

Sometimes I've sat outside, not to tan, but as a result of that I ended up tanning slightly. ~ Julian Casablancas

But it's daylight," she said at last. "Vampires can't go out in the sun, everyone knows that!"
Bones chuckled. "Right And we shrink back from crosses, can't travel over water, and always get staked in the end by the righteous slayer. Really, who'd be afraid of a creature like that? All you'd need is a Bible, a tanning bed, and some holy water to send us shivering to our dooms. ~ Jeaniene Frost