Spongebob Squarepants Quotes

I don't have time for this I've got to go pick a fight with a muscular stranger. ~ Stephen Hillenburg

How about that? You can hear NFL Films music on everything from 'SpongeBob SquarePants' to 'Deep Throat.' ~ Steve Sabol

The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. ~ Patrick Star

SpongeBob SquarePants vs. Squidward Tentacles
When SpongeBob SquarePants
tried to have kinky sex with Squidward Tentacles,
SpongeBob was confused
as to whether to suck the octopus's nose
or use Squidward's head as a butt-plug.
SpongeBob appreciated a challenge
and decided to do both at the same time.
Now SpongeBob has a lucrative career
as a Yoga instructor at
Yogis Anonymous in Santa Monica.

Gary the Snail runs the Spin class. ~ Beryl Dov

I mean, who cares about SpongeBob SquarePants? I'm sitting here with Wolverine!
-random kid talking to Ari ~ James Patterson

It's SpongeBob, Eleanor," he said, speaking very slowly and clearly as though I were some sort of idiot. "SpongeBob SquarePants?" A semi-human bath sponge with protruding front teeth! On sale as if it were something completely unremarkable! For my entire life, people have said that I'm strange, but really, when I see things like this, I realize that I'm actually relatively normal. ~ Gail Honeyman

I'd rather watch SpongeBob with with Kimmy than talk to you. At least that stupid yellow sponge tries to make sense. ~ Lora Leigh

I do like a lot of things that a lot of adults would scoff at. 'SpongeBob SquarePants,' 'Looney Tunes.' ~ R.L. Stine

Stop living in the past, Spongebob ~ Patrick Spongebob Squarepants

You are normal, even if it was you in that video. Normal human beings do crazy shit sometimes. One time I let this guy dress up as SpongeBob SquarePants while we had sex. ~ Taylor Bell

Do you feel it now Mr. Krabbs? ~ SpongeBob SquarePants

'SpongeBob SquarePants' is a great show, and it centers on a character that is courageously nice. Why is SpongeBob interesting? It's because he has passion. He has a passion for chasing jellyfish. ~ Vince Gilligan

The first ads for medical marijuana have started airing on television in California. The ads are quite expensive. It costs a lot of money to buy 30 seconds during 'Spongebob Squarepants.' ~ Craig Ferguson

[Reverend James] Dobson says that the [Spongebob Squarepants] video would be watched by millions of elementary school students and includes a reference to being 'tolerant of differences.' The nerve! Who does Spongebob think he is? Jesus Christ? Tolerance will not be, uh, tolerated. Oh, and tolerance is quite possibly closesly connected to gay-ance. ~ Celia Rivenbark

Yes I usually make my kids eat their veggie chops and watch my concerts in dead silence. If they ask to watch spongebob squarepants I usually do something volatile like make them eat a yellow sponge with googly eyes on it. I hit them quite a bit, but then again I blame the condom manufacturing government for forcing me to birth them. ~ Thom Yorke

Matt Leinart's L.A. duplex looks more like a Chuck E. Cheese safe house than a millionaire jock's crash pad. There's the requisite leather couch and flat-screen television, but the rest of the ground floor is bare except for a pile of Nick Jr. DVDs, a high chair, and a SpongeBob SquarePants director's chair. ~ Stephen Rodrick

Do you ever have dirty thoughts about spongebob? ~ James Patterson

When the girl at the squat got her throat slit, and Jacob got marked, Nix had been in Portland a little under a year. He had just bought a SpongeBob sleeping bag from Goodwill and had started to feel something like safe. But then, a roll or two of dust every other week helped with that. ~ Tara Bray Smith

From SpongeBob to Finding Nemo ... I'm still trying to decide which one I like more. ~ Kevin Federline

I used to have costumed characters come out, like SpongeBob. It's just fun to make it into this minor event, just to surprise people and experiment and be weird and just have fun with it. I've done just the hour stand-up, and that's fun, but the other stuff makes it fun for me and gives me something to react to and bounce off of. ~ Hannibal Buress

It's amazing how a strip of sticky plastic will make my kids' pain vanish. Lucas will be howling about a stepped-on finger, but as soon as the SpongeBob Band-Aid touches his pinkie, he's all smiles. My sons are so convinced of the magical healing powers of Band-Aids, they think they can solve almost any problem. A couple of years ago, when out Sony TV blew a fuse, Jasper stuck a Band-Aid on the screen hoping to revive it. ~ A. J. Jacobs

Who lives in a pineapple under your jeans?" He sang softly. "SpongeBob booty pants!" He ended his little song with a soft slap to my rear. ~ L.D. Davis

The claim that SpongeBob makes your child dumber is a causal claim. If you do X, Y will happen. To prove that, you'd have to show that if you forced the children in the no-TV households to watch SpongeBob and changed nothing else about their lives, they would do worse in school. ~ Emily Oster

Just then Patrick finally came out of his rock. He looked around, but SpongeBob and the bubble were gone. "I knew I was dreaming!" SpongeBob was still chasing the bubble. "Bubble, stop! You have to go back and let my friend Patrick see you!" As he passed Shady Shoals Retirement Home, he accidentally dropped his bubble-blowing wand. But SpongeBob didn't stop to pick it up. He chased the bubble all the way to Jellyfish Fields. While trying to grab the bubble, SpongeBob accidentally dropped his bottle of bubbles. He kept chasing it until he was miles away from Bikini Bottom. BAM! Suddenly, SpongeBob found himself facedown on ~ Steven Banks

I just finished an episode of a new show called 'Century City.' It's like 'Law & Order' set in the future, and I have a very dramatic role in that. I have to sob and weep and wail. It was very hard. When it was done, I was like, 'OK, time to watch 'SpongeBob!' ~ Cayden Boyd

Young girls are obsessed with having a thigh gap. I blame the impossible body standards set by Spongebob. ~ Stephen Colbert

I remember watching SpongeBob and laughing as he and Patrick irritated Squidward. Mom ~ Apryl Baker

They'd rather see Scooby Doo or Spongebob than Daddy talking about the latest Wall Street Journal editorial. You do what you have to do to get your kids ready for school. ~ Joe Scarborough

I connect to SpongeBob in a way; like, that's the homie. He can chill on the corner with me. ~ Theophilus London

I have someone else clean my house so that it will actually get cleaned, and I let kids in my house survive on Peeps and 'SpongeBob.' ~ Julia London

Whenever I'm sad, I just put on 'SpongeBob' and I cheer up. ~ Richard Harmon