Spandex Quotes

Inauguration Security was tighter than Kirstie Alley in a pair of spandex pants. ~ Jay Leno

Hopefully I'm learning a lesson from every new thing I write, whether it features guys in spandex or not. ~ Jason Aaron

Closing in on three hundred pounds, the woman with her in lockup looked like a Sumo wrestler squeezed into a bright, lime-green spandex outfit. She might have been a jogger, but her garish makeup suggested otherwise. ~ Alex Archer

I don't mind exercise but it's a private activity. Joggers should run in a wheel - like hamsters - because I don't want to look at them. And I really hate people who go on an airplane in jogging outfits. That's a major offense today, even bigger than Spandex bicycle pants. You see eighty-year-old women coming on the plane in jogging outfits for comfort. Well my comfort - my mental comfort - is completely ruined when I see them coming. You're on an airplane, not in your bedroom, so please! And I really hate walkathons: blocking traffic, people patting themselves on the back. The whole attitude offends me. They have this smug look on their faces as they hold you up in traffic so that they can give two cents to some charity. ~ John Waters

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Contrary to popular cable TV-induced opinion, aerobics have nothing to do with squeezing our body into hideous shiny Spandex, grinning like a deranged orangutan, and doing cretinous steps to debauched disco music. ~ Cynthia Heimel

That makes me think of spandex-covered football players. It's not me. I'm in rhinestones and velvet, not spandex. ~ Johnny Weir

When I was first pregnant, which was, let's see, in nineteen-eighty-three - I remember wearing a regular bathing suit to my in-laws' pool. It was just like a spandex one-piece, completely modest, and yet people were looking at me like it was obscene. ~ Heidi Murkoff

I can rap in a London accent, make weird faces, wear spandex, wigs, and black lipstick. I can be more creative than the average male rapper. ~ Nicki Minaj

If you're going to be a superhero, can I be your sidekick?" -April
"What?" -Grace
"The Dynamic Duo!" -April
"Um, I'm pretty sure sidekicks have to have super powers, too. -Grace
"Oh Yeah ... Okay, but you can always use an Alfred." April
"My Alfred?" -Grace
"Oh come on Please I can help you design gadgets and stuff. Oh! I can design you outfits for crime fighting!" -April
" *sigh* Okay. Sure. But no spandex" -Grace ~ Bree Despain

I moved from Moscow to Rome with my family and two bicycles in 1998, and spent a lot of that year- and the next - obsessed, I am sorry to admit, with the bicycles. Italy, after all, was a place where thousands of middle-aged men felt perfectly comfortable spending many hours a week in brightly colored spandex. ~ Michael Specter

It was R.E.M. who showed other Eighties bands how to get away with ignoring the rules - they lived in some weird town nobody never heard of, they didn't play power chords, they probably couldn't even spell 'spandex.' All they had was songs. ~ Rob Sheffield

I think one of the most humiliating moments of my life was putting on spandex, personally. It's always nice when four women pull you into spandex when you're in jockey shorts. Yeah. ~ Michael Chiklis

I showed her the essay he'd marked. It was practically dipped in red ink.
Jenna made a sympathetic face, then took a closer look. She rolled her eyes. "Well, no wonder. Helios-Ra don't wear spandex tights and capes. We're not superheroes."
"But you kind of think you are." I winked. "I just wrote that to see if he was paying attention."
"You wrote it because you're a brat," he muttered.
I beamed at him. "Now you sound like one of the Drake brothers. ~ Alyxandra Harvey

We all wrap ourselves in the mythology we want other people to see us in. ~ Neil M. Hanson

Magic has its own weight, and that weight, the gravity of it, is pulling the fabric of reality like a bowling ball on a spandex sheet. ~ Thomm Quackenbush

I don't think Americans look bad in spandex. ~ Henry Cavill

Could we wear spandex and blow things up? ~ Lisa Mantchev

I took a shower and spent some time on my hair, doing the blow-drying thing, adding some gel and some spray. When I was done I looked like Cher on a bad day. Still, Cher on a bad day wasn't all that bad. I was down to my last clean pair of spandex shorts. I tugged on a matching sports bra that doubled as a halter top and slid a big, loose, purple T-shirt with a large, droopy neck over my head. I laced up my hightop Reeboks, crunched down my white socks, and felt pretty cool. ~ Janet Evanovich

Another memorable performance of 'Black Sabbath' was in a town hall near Manchester. The manager was there to greet us in a suit and tie when we climbed out of the van. You should have seen the look on his face when he saw us.
'Is that what you're going to wear on stage?' he asked me, staring at my bare feet and pyjama top.
'Oh no,' I said, in this fake-shocked voice. 'I always perform in gold spandex. Have you ever seen an Elvis gig? Well, I look a bit like him – but of course my tits are much smaller.' ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I lure myself into a spandex trap and I text Amanda, "Is this what death feels like?" Alone in my room I say, "God, is this a poem? It's uncomfortable. It feels like a poem." God never answers, which is what really makes it poetry. ~ Nikita Gill

As a gymnast, you always wear spandex. Being a teenager wearing spandex? It was tough accepting how my body looked, especially if there was any weight gain. ~ Alicia Sacramone

If all superheroines were as indestructible as Superman, leaping across rooftops, smashing through windows, and flying through flames in a skimpy swimsuit wouldn't be such a problem. However, male heroes are usually presented as being unquestionably more powerful than women.Yet, they wear costumes that cover and protect most of their bodies. Women on the other hand, are written as weaker, and presumable less able to protect themselves. Yet they charge into battle with most of their bodies exposed...............................................
...............The reason for this superhero fashion double standard is that comic books have always been primarily targeted to a heterosexual male reader. As a result, female superheroes must look attractive to these readers. And in the world of male fantasy, attractive= sexy. So, revealing costumes are fitted onto idealized bodies with large breasts, tiny waists and impossible long legs. Men need to look powerful and virile, but can't display bulging genitalia showing through their spandex, as it would be too threatening for most straight male readers. ~ Mike Madrid

Keep getting asked by letter and on the street by Jane and John Does dressed in spandex how they can prepare simple "gourmet" dinners in ten minutes so as to prolong, presumably, their cross-training and spritzer-drinking binges, massage and colonic appointments, drumming and marriage-counseling sessions, and tarot-card swap clubs. An easy answer here. Scoop ample quantities of Skippy on two paper plates. Handcuff each other and then slam your faces down into the plates with gusto. Good for the gluteus maximus. And it will bring you together at the sink, plus you won't have to violate your space by answering the phone. Back to the ~ Jim Harrison

Yes I am sure I am Super Woman now add more Spanx to the spandex in my suit please ;) ~ Kim Cormack

I'm not a superhero, I say. It's an awful tag. It's egotistical, and it doesn't fit. I don't parade around in spandex. ~ Kendare Blake

I mean, really, can someone answer this for me: Why are all female superheroes packed into spandex and hot shorts? Okay, of course I know the answer. I know why they're all scantily clad. It's because men draw them and if there is one thing men love it's boobs! And legs! And boobs! But really what they love is boobs. ~ Olivia Munn

With nothing more than thin spandex covering my chest, even the blind would notice that my nipples were so hard, they could cut glass ~ Jeaniene Frost

Interesting outfit."

Clearly unabashed, she merely glanced down at herself, slicked long-fingered, bloodred-tipped hands over her hips and thighs. Then laughed low in her throat. "I know. It's a little over the top, isn't it? But I've got a hot date tonight and zero time to go home to change."

Shock reverberated in his gut and zinged down the nerve rich column of his spinal cord. Taking a hot step forward, he demanded before he could stop himself, "With who?"

She gave him a cool look, clearly wondering what the hell business he thought it was of his. Still, she answered him, which he hadn't actually expected.

"Eduardo," she said, drawing the syllables out, her lips caressing them as if they were made of Godiva chocolates. "He's an - " Cutting herself off, she shook her head. "Well. You don't give a rat's rear end who he is."

"Sure I do," he forced himself to say in a bored tone, dismayed to discover that part of him was seriously tempted to grab those spandex- wrapped arms and shake the information out of her. ~ Susan Andersen

Alex was right in front of the mantel now, bent forward, his nose mere inches from a picture of me.
"Oh,God. Don't look at that!"
It was from the year-end recital of my one and only year of ballet class. I was six: twig legs, a huge gap where my two front teeth had recently been, and a bumblebee costume. Nonna had done her best, but there was only so much she could do with yellow and black spandex and a bee butt. Dad had found one of those headbands with springy antennai attached. I'd loved the antennae. The more enthusiastic my jetes, the more they bounced. Of course, I'd also jeted my flat-chested little self out of the top of my costume so many times that, during the actual recital itself,I'd barely moved at all, victim to the overwhelming modesty of the six-year-old. Now, looking at the little girl I'd been, I wished someone had told her not to worry so much, that within a year, that smooth, skinny, little bare shoulder would have turned into the bane of her existence. That she was absolutely perfect.
"Nice stripes," Alex said casually, straightening up.
That stung. It should't have-it was just a photo-but it did. I don't know what I'd expected him to say about the picture. It wasn't that. But then, I didn't expect the wide grin that spread across his face when he got a good look at mine, either.
"Those," he announced, pointing to a photo of my mulleted dad leaning against the painted hood of his Mustang "are nice stripes. That-" he pointed to the ~ Melissa Jensen

The covers are rugged hand-laid paper of rice chaff, bamboo tailings, free-range hemp, and crystalline glacial meltwater made by wizened artisans operating out of a mist-shrouded temple hewn from living volcanic rock on some island known only to aerobically gifted, Spandex-sheathed Left Coast travel bores. An ~ Neal Stephenson

I let out a gasp at the surprise with him getting to me so fast. It was kind of dating superman in that way, and instead of the cape and spandex, I got wings and a Armani suit! ~ Stephanie Hudson

Picture the lobby of a hotel. [ ... ] Now fill up the lobby with dentists and superheroes. Men and women, oral surgeons, eighth-dimensional entities, mutants, and freaks who want to save your teeth, save the world, and maybe end up with a television show, too. [ ... ] Boards in the lobby list panels on advances in cosmetic dentistry, effective strategies for minimizing liability in cases of bystander hazard, presentations with titles like Spandex or Bulletproof? What Look Is Right For You? ~ Kelly Link

I've been getting a lot of science fiction scripts which contained variations on my 'Star Trek' character and I've been turning them down. I strongly feel that the next role I do, I should not be wearing spandex. ~ Marina Sirtis

I was greeted at the Magraths' apartment door by a dumpy, pie-faced woman with a frizz of unsprung black hair. She wore black spandex leggings and an oversized T-shirt with an equally oversized message stamped across the front: Don't Give Me Attitude, I Have One of My Own. This witticism ran six full lines, drawing my eyes southward over her person from wavering bosom to detumescent belly, a journey I regret even now. ~ William Landay

If people could walk around in suits of energy, that would be cool. Other than that, I don't think men should wear spandex. ~ Blake Lively

I always loved Michelle Kwan's outfits. Most of them were designed by Vera Wang, and they're just so simple, but the fabric that they used and the way that it was sewn together look so elegant and rich. You could tell that time had been put into it. It wasn't just another spandex, stucco-covered costume. ~ Ashley Wagner

L'Avventura,' Dad said, 'has the sort of ellipsis ending most American audiences would rather undergo a root canal than be left with, not only because they loathe anything left to the imagination-we're talking about the country that invented spandex-but also because they are a confident, self-assured nation. They know Family. They know Right from Wrong. They know God-many of them attest to daily chats with the man. And the idea that none of us can truly know anything at all-not the lives of our friends or family, not even ourselves-is a thought they'd rather be shot in the arm with their own semi-automatic rifle than face head-on. Personally, I think there's something terrific about not knowing, relinquishing man's feeble attempt to control. When you throw up your hands, say, "Who knows?" you can get on with the sheer gift of being alive. ~ Marisha Pessl

You can never go wrong betting on Americans' bad eating habits. So I've made a ton investing in all fast food chains, while at the same time investing in Dockers, spandex, Spanx, and sweatpants. Basically, anything with an elastic waistband is a goldmine. ~ Carol Leifer

Entertainment has a bad name ... The word wears spandex, pasties, a leisure suit studded with blinking lights. ~ Michael Chabon

We went from an era when rock 'n' roll meant wearing a bustier as a woman and these spandex things and guys trying to portray someone that wasn't realistic. We are trying to make it seem real ... relate to our lives. ~ Eddie Vedder