Snorted Quotes

Evil men rarely convince others to their side by asking them to perform dark deeds for no good reason. They will always start with the lightest shade of gray. They so often use what seems like a good cause."

"You don't think it's possible that a little gray is what's needed, sometimes?" asked Davian.

Raleth snorted.

"No," he said severely. "Gray is the color of cowardice and ignorance and sheer laziness, Davian--never let anyone tell you otherwise. If something is not clearly right or wrong then it bears actually *figuring out* which one it is, not dismissal into some nebulous third category. If you have a basis for your morality, a foundation for it, then there will always be an answer--and if you do not, then trying to decide whether *anything* is right or wrong is an exercise in futility and irrelevance. ~ James Islington

I am sure you're very pleased to have a pair of foxes," Kestrel told Irex now, "but you'll have to do better."
"I set down my tile," Irex said coldly. "I cannot take it back."
"I'll let you take it back. Just this once."
"You want me to take it back."
"Ah. So you agree that I know what tile you mean to play."
Benix shifted his weight on Lady Faris's delicate chair. It creaked. "Flip the damn tile, Irex. And you, Kestrel: Quit toying with him."
"I'm merely offering friendly advice."
Benix snorted.
Kestrel watched Irex watch her, his anger mounting as he couldn't decide whether Kestrel's words were a lie, the well-meant truth, or a truth she hoped he would judge a lie. He flipped the tile: a fox.
"Too bad," said Kestrel, and turned over one of hers, adding a third bee to her other two matching tiles. She swept the four gold coins of the ante to her side of the table. "See, Irex? I had only your best interests at heart."
Benix blew out a gusty sigh. He settled back in his protesting chair, shrugged, and seemed the perfect picture of amused resignation. He kept his head bowed while he mixed the Bite and Sting tiles, but Kestrel saw him shoot Irex a wary glance. Benix, too, had seen the rage that turned Irex's face into stone.
Irex shoved back from the table. He stalked over the flagstone terrace to the grass, which bloomed with the highest members of Valorian society.
"That wasn't necessary," Benix told Kestrel.
"It ~ Marie Rutkoski

My lord?"
Nick turned at the tentative, feminine voice, to find two young women standing nearby, watching him eagerly. Nick spoke, wary.
"Yes? "
"We - " one of them began to speak, then stopped, uncertain. The other nudged her toward him.
"Yes?"
"We are fans."
Nick blinked. "Of?"
"Of yours."
"Of mine."
"Indeed!" The second girl smiled broadly and stepped closer, holding out what looked suspiciously like -
Nick swore under his breath.
"Would you be willing to autograph our magazine? "
Nick held up a hand. "I would, girls, but you've got the wrong brother." He pointed to Gabriel. "That is Lord Nicholas."
Rock snorted as the two shifted their attention to the Marquess of Ralston, a dazzlingly handsome copy of their prey, and tittered their excitement.
Gabriel instantly eased into his role, turning a brilliant smile on the girls. "I would be happy to autograph your magazine." He took the journal and the pen they proffered and said, "You know, I must confess, this is the first time I've ever drawn the attention of ladies when in the company of my brother. Ralston has always been considered the more handsome of us."
"No!" the girls protested.
Nick rolled his eyes.
"Indeed. Ask anyone. They'll tell you it's the marquess who is the best specimen. Surely you've heard that." He looked up at them with a winning smile. "You can admit it, girls. My feelings shan't be hurt."
Gabriel h ~ Sarah MacLean

I'm sorry." [Burnett] sighed. "With all the things that have happened lately, I'm glad you're keeping your chin up."
*Chin up.* The words ran around Kylie's head. Miranda snorted another bit of laughter and faced the opposite direction. Kylie had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. Then Della's chuckle sounded from across the room. ~ C.C. Hunter

She dropped her glass and wiped the spill with her sleeve.
'Oh, god, use a napkin,' he said. 'People are going to think you were raised by wolves.' He snorted at his own joke. ~ Faith McKay

You're supposed to be the damsel in distress. We're supposed to save you." She snorted and pulled her hand away. "Times have changed." "But what does that make us? Two dudes in distress? Pathetic. ~ Jennifer Foehner Wells

This is my first ... ah ... "
"Haunting?" he offered.
I snorted. "Yes, this is my first haunting."
"Then I'm flattered. ~ Tara Hudson

I'm not climbing that bedamned tree to get you!" William insisted. Christian snorted. "As if you could." William dropped his sword and climbed the damned tree. A ~ Eli Easton

We're family," Alyss said.
Redd snorted. "Is that supposed to mean something?"
Family," Alyss said again, trying to convince herself more than Redd.
Don't talk to me about family! You were never disowned by your parents!"
I'd rather have been disowned by them then see them murdered. ~ Frank Beddor

Kennedy snorted at that..."Sorry. I just...I don't spend a lot of time with people who let rules get in the way of doing the right thing." She grimaced. Maybe she shouldn't be admitting that. ~ Erin Nicholas

I'll always be your big spoon." He snorted. "Unless I'm being the big spoon. Then you'll be my little spoon." "Always. ~ N.R. Walker

Meet him in the air?" Tom snorted, "good grief, talk about horrible directions to nowhere. ~ Ray Bradbury

Iko snorted - a derisive sound that Cinder hadn't even thought escorts were capable of making. Staring ~ Marissa Meyer

Little Newt snorted. "Religion!"
"Beg your pardon?" Castle said.
"See the cat?" asked Newt. "See the cradle? ~ Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

What is that?" I asked, pointing at the ceiling.
Part of me didn't expect Aiden to answer, but he did. "It's Phoebe's symbol."
"Phoebe? Obviously you don't mean a Charmed one."
He snorted. ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

And I brought chocolate," Chloe added, tossing him an extra bar from her bag.
I eyed her. "Hey, you said you were out."
"I lied."
Hunter snorted. "She also stole that chocolate from my stash."
Chloe was cheerfully unrepentant. "You're running low by the way."
Hunter smirked. "I have another stash you don't know about. ~ Alyxandra Harvey

Aedion snorted. "Hurry up with the eggs. I'm going to die of starvation."
"Make the bacon, or you don't get any."
Aedion could hardly move fast enough. ~ Sarah J. Maas

I'm not the marrying kind -"
St. Vincent snorted. "No man is. Marriage is a female invention. ~ Lisa Kleypas

Are you okay?" Kelly cried.
"I shot dinner," Nick said.
Kelly snorted. "Look, Hannibal, you can shoot back if they 're shooting at you, but it's still not okay to eat them afterward. ~ Abigail Roux

Told you not to tell her."
"That's not how I work things. That's not how you build a relationship."
"Build a relationship." Ryder snorted as he sent the drill whirling again. "You've been reading again."
"Blow me. ~ Nora Roberts

Well," Puck commented, looking around at our odd party, "this is it, huh? I must admit, this is probably one of the stranger things I've had to do, with one of the stranger groups I've had to do it with."
The Wolf snorted. "No stranger than usual, Goodfellow."
"I guess not." Puck sighed, then straightened with a bright grin, rubbing his hands. "Welp, as a certain furball would point out, time's a-wasting. Who's up for saving the Nevernever one more time? ~ Julie Kagawa

And Cracknut Whirrun?' asked Drofd.
'Straightforward. An old man up near Ustred taught me the trick of cracking a walnut in my fist. What you do is - '
Wonderful snorted. 'That ain't why they call you Cracknut.'
'Eh?'
'No,' said Yon. 'It ain't.'
'They call you Cracknut for the same reason they gave Cracknut Leef the name,' and Wonderful tapped at the side of her shaved head. 'Because it's widely assumed your nut's cracked.'
'They do?' Whirrun frowned. 'Oh, that's less complimentary, the fuckers. I'll have to have words next time I hear that. You've completely bloody spoiled it for me! ~ Joe Abercrombie

Margaret quirked her lips, looking much like the imp their mother used to call her. "What flower would ye pick for Katherine Campbell?"
Callum snorted. "I wouldna pick flowers."
"Ye let her take a bite out of ye." Maggie looked up at him, then cut him off when he opened his mouth to speak. "Ye fancy her. What flower would ye pick for her?"
"Tulips," he mumbled, ignoring her knowing smirk. ~ Paula Quinn

Ship ID Renegade Transport, Captain Surukta requesting permission to land."
"Captain Surukta, permission granted to landing area thirty-two. Congratulations on your safe arrival," a voice responded over the intercom.
Teka snorted as she switched off the communicator. "I bet that's standard practice, congratulating people on surviving."
"I've been here before," Sifa said, wry. "It is indeed standard practice. ~ Veronica Roth

Sounds charming,' I said impatiently. But I didn't come here to talk about the end of the world.'

'Really?' He tipped his hat up and looked at me. 'By the expression on that pretty face of yours, I'd have thought it was at least that.'

I snorted impatiently. 'If you're going to be flippant-'

'What? You'll give me a kiss? Then I'll be as flippant as I can possibly be. ~ Sophie Masson

Heath turned to me, arms wide as if he was ready to hug someone. 'We're assembling a team.'
'The Avengers?' I snorted. ~ Maria Lewis

In the meantime, how about us doing some more sister things together?"
Alys snorted. "Like what?"
Oh, I don't know. Slay a few monsters, outwit a few magicians, drain a few Chaotic Zones, negotiate a few treaties ... "
And after lunch?"
Janie returned the wry grin sweetly. "I'll let you know."
The hero and the sorceress walked back up the path arm in arm. ~ L.J.Smith

What did you discover about the shooter?" Jude asked as he struggled to sit upright.
"Once I spotted him on the rooftop, I ran up the back stairs to follow him. He was long gone, but he left something behind," Sussex said.
"Oh?"
"Yes, I'll take it upon myself to investigate it."
Jude opened his eyes, his stare focused on the duke. "Do you need my help?"
Alynwick snorted. "A soiled dove with a broken wing," he drawled. "What use would you be?"
Jude grumbled, "I'll be fine by the morning. ~ Charlotte Featherstone

They age," Tink said. "And die like humans. I'm a brownie. Therefore, I do not need to feed. I just age very, very, very slowly."
"I'm guessing you're probably still in your toddler years then," Ren muttered from up front.
Tink snorted. "I'll have you know that I'm two hundred years old."
My eyes widened as I looked over at him. "What?"
Faye laughed softly. "Brownies can live to be over a thousand years old. In human years, he's barely twenty."
Ren snickered.
Tink's eyes narrowed. ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

Flight 2039 to Boston is now boarding at gate 14A," a voice announced over the PA system.
Nellie sighed. "I love Irish accents." She paused. "And Australian accents. And English accents." A dreamy look came over her face. "Theo had an awesome accent."
Dan snorted. "Yeah, there was just that one tiny problem. He turned out to be a two-timing, backstabbing thief. ~ Rick Riordan

It won't be the same for me," I whispered, half to myself. "You won't let me be like that. We'll live in Antarctica."
Edward snorted, breaking the tension. "Penguins. Lovely. ~ Stephenie Meyer

Gabby fidgeted nervously and pushed away her glass, as if she was suddenly wary of drinking it.
Zac snorted, "What, do you think he put a vampire roofie in there? ~ Nicole R. Taylor

Good. Now the first thing you do is press in the clutch and slide the gear into reverse." She placed his hand on the gear shift in the center of her car, and showed him how to move it up and down. "You know, you really shouldn't fondle that in front of me, Grace. It's cruel." "Julian! Do you mind? I'm only trying to show you how to shift my gears." He snorted. "I wish you'd shift my gears like that. ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

Where's he starting?" he finally asked.

"In theater care. Where are you working?"
"Snack bar," he replied tersely.
"Please try to be civil," I begged him. "This is work. We need to be professional."

He snorted. "Whatever, Cami." He shot me a wounded look. "I can imagine he'll love his new job. He's gonna get paid to follow you around through dark rooms. He's probably thrilled. ~ Lacey Weatherford

Rashid did not give in. "Look how his hands move on the contols," he told her. "In those worlds left-handedness does not impede him. Amazingly, he is almost ambidextrous." Soraya snorted with annoyance. "Have you seen his handwriting?" she said. "Will his hedgehogs and plumbers help with that? Will his 'pisps' and 'wees' get him through school? Such names! They sound like going to the bathroom or what." Rashid began to smile placatingly. "The term is consoles," he began but Soraya turned on her heel and walked away, waving one hand high above her head. "Do not speak to me of such things," she said over her shoulder, speaking in her grandest voice. "I am in-console-able. ~ Salman Rushdie

The Doctor snorted. 'Wimp!' He squared his shoulders and turned towards the fire, grinning. 'Race you.' And he was off, running. Jack hesitated, sighed, swore, and ran after him. Levin and Krylek, Catherine and the villagers stared after them in astonishment. Two dark figures running though fire ... ~ Justin Richards

Gideon opened his and read, "Prosperity will knock on your door soon."
I snorted.
Cary shot me a look. "I know, right? You snatched someone else's cookie, Cross."
"He better not be anywhere near someone else's cookie," I said dryly.
Reaching over, Gideon plucked half of mine out of my fingers. "Don't worry, angel. Your cookie is the only one I want. ~ Sylvia Day

Cam scratched his nape. "You know what I don't get? How women can spend the majority of their lives in shopping malls but still say they have nothing to wear." Lydia snorted. "You know what I don't get? How men can spend the majority of their lives playing sports where they're being trampled on and listening to noisy mobs, yet they're put off by shopping, when it's no different." Both males tilted their heads, conceding that. ~ Suzanne Wright

Day snorted at him and rolled out of bed, groaning like an old man and God had to hold in his laugh at Day's wide-legged walk to the bathroom. He heard Day cleaning himself up and he thought to himself while he waited. He has a right to know. Day got back into bed and fully climbed on top of him, laying his head down on his chest. God laughed. "Uhh, sweetheart. You going to sleep like this?" "Yep. I've imagined sleeping like this for years," Day said settling in comfortably. God kissed Day's forehead and wrapped his arms around him, trying to calm his mind. Please don't have a nightmare. Not tonight. Just let this night be perfect. ~ A.E. Via

I suppose he could have changed," Neal said dryly. "I myself have noticed my growing resemblance to a daffodil." The other pages snorted.
Kel eyed her friend. "You do look yellow around the edges," she told him, her face quite serious. "I hadn't wanted to bring it up."
"We daffodils like to have things brought up," Neal said, slinging an arm around her shoulders. "It reminds us of spring. ~ Tamora Pierce

Irma Nail, who lived next door to Gordon, was setting off as usual for her morning paper. She was not easily distracted from her routine, even by the apocalypse. She stepped out of her house in her purple rain boots, muttering about the freakish weather, and glanced up at the sky just as a wolf fell out of it.
'Outrageous!' She snorted as it lay stunned at her feet. 'I've heard of it raining cats and dogs, but this is ridiculous!' and she stepped over the stricken beast, putting her umbrella up in case more wolves should tumble, uninvited, from the sky. ~ Livi Michael

Abel, get away from him."

"No, I - "

Pacer took a step toward them. "Get up, now." He pointed a finger at the ground. "And come here."

Abel opened and closed his mouth several times, paralyzed. "Pacer, we were just - "

"I won't say it again, Abel."

He hated to admit it, but Pacer's demanding tone had sent a flash of anticipation through his system. Half- wanting to keep going, to test the limits of Pacer's patience, Abel paused for just another second before standing up and walking over to Pacer.

"You don't have to sound so scary," he said.

Pacer snorted, grabbing hold of Abel's wrist. "Please. You should be happy I didn't just pull you over my knee."

"Pacer!" Abel's eyes widening as he looked over at Eric. He was watching them avidly.

"Pacer, don't be so rough. He and I were just chatting."

"Are you deaf?" Pacer replied. "Why was he whispering in your ear?"

Grinning, Eric shook his head. "My bad. Maybe I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about."

He stood up and walked over to them. "Abel, I just wanted you to know: I'm not a homophobe."

Abel stared at him. "What?" Then, after a moment, he looked at Pacer, who was studiously observing the twig he had snapped on the ground.
"I see. ~ R.D. Hero

I absolutely could create a lightsaber."

"You could not create a lightsaber."

"I could too. It's all a science."

"I thought being a Jedi was mystical?"

Irene snorted. "Mystical, my butt. It's all about science. ~ Shelly Laurenston

Be winged. Be the father of all flying horses," roared Aslan in a voice that shook the ground. "Your name is Fledge."
The horse shied, just as it might have shied in the old, miserable days when it pulled a hansom. Then it roared. It strained its neck back as if there were a fly biting its shoulders and it wanted to scratch them. And then, just as the beasts had burst out of the earth, there burst out from the shoulders of Fledge wings that spread and grew, larger than eagles', larger than swans', larger than angels' wings in church windows. The feathers shone chestnut color and copper color. He gave a great sweep with them and leapt into the air. Twenty feet above Aslan and Digory he snorted, neighed, and curvetted. Then, after circling once round them, he dropped to the earth, all four hoofs together, looking awkward and surprised, but extremely pleased.
"Is it good, Fledge?" said Aslan.
"It is very good, Aslan," said Fledge. ~ C.S. Lewis

She snorted. "Are you seriously asking me to have a fling with you?" "Absolutely not," he said, feigning shock. "I said dinner. It was your lascivious mind that went to the bedroom."....When he met her eyes, he was stunned to see they were huge They darted once to his lips. She thought he was going to kiss her. And she wasn't running away. ~ Sarah Addison Allen

He snorted. "You do remember that I'm on the wrong side of the cage now?"
She turned to him, and the floor was cool against her cheek. "I'm pretty sure we're both on the wrong side of the cage. ~ Rebecca Schaeffer

Grimalkin snorted. "Just because he cannot lie does not mean he cannot deceive, human. Robin Goodfellow is an expert at dancing around the truth."
"Oh, look who's talking. If you're not an expert at screwing people over, I'll eat my head. ~ Julie Kagawa

The two of you came this close to getting torn to shreds! Your father just found you, and he doesn't want to lose you. Do you have any idea what he has been through to protect you since you got here?"
[...]
"No." Talon's voice was subdued, but only slightly. Teenage defiance still seethed beneath the surface. "He didn't tell me."
I leaned back in my chair, blew out my breath, and closed my eyes. "And he probably won't." Tired had surrendered to exhausted. "He wouldn't want you to worry. Because he loves you."
When Talon didn't respond, I opened one eye and looked at him. "He hasn't told you that, either, has he?" I asked wearily.
"Not exactly."
My elbow was resting on the chair arm, and I dropped my head onto my upraised hand. I snorted. "Not exactly." I shook my head. "Men." I didn't lift my head off my hand; it felt too good to be resting on something. I turned it about an inch and I could see Piaras just fine.
His face was a shade or two short of a full, blazing blush. "I know you do." His words tumbled out in a rush. "You don't have to tell me. ~ Lisa Shearin

Getting up from the table, shaking a little at her unraveling, Ari cuffed Charlie across the head. "Be nice."
"Tell him to be nice!"
"I can't," she snorted, looking back over her shoulder at them. "If I did that he'd actually have to be nice… it would be like re-writing his entire personality."
Jai grunted. "Funny. ~ Samantha Young

I'm sorry," said Cinder. "We should have tried to be more discreet with our plans."
Scarlet shook her head. "It's not your fault. Kai's travel schedule is pretty much public knowledge, so there was no stopping this, I'm afraid." She snorted. "Just be glad you weren't here to see the hoard of screaming girls when he arrived. ~ Marissa Meyer

She knew that he would stop her. Perhaps he would be cunning about it. Maybe he would go to the steward behind her back, tell him of the theft and challenge, and ask to be brought before the judge and Irex. If that plan didn't suit Arin, he would find another.
He was going to be a problem.
"You're right," she told him.
Arin blinked, then narrowed his eyes.
"In fact," she continued, "if you had let me explain, I would have told you that I had already decided to call off the duel."
"You have."
She showed him the two letters. The one addressed to her father was on top. She let the mere edge of the other letter show. "One is for my father, telling him what has happened. The other is for Irex, making my apologies and inviting him to collect his five hundred gold pieces whenever he likes."
Arin still looked skeptical.
"He'll also collect you, of course. Knowing him, he'll have you whipped until you're unconscious and even after that. I'm sure that when you wake up, you'll be very glad that I decided to do exactly as you wanted."
Arin snorted.
"If you doubt me, you're welcome to walk with me to the barracks to watch as I give my father's letter to a soldier, with orders for its swift delivery."
"I think I will." He opened the library door.
They left the house and crossed the hard ground. Kestrel shivered. She hadn't stopped to fetch a cloak. She couldn't risk that Arin would change his mind.
When they entered the barra ~ Marie Rutkoski

Yeah," he grount out. "I nailed her."
"Where?" Luc always wanted the dirty details.
"Stockroom. Pay up."
Luc snorted and reached for his wallet. "I really got taken on this one , didn't I?" He handed over four hundreds and five twenties.
"Yeah, well, you can have the last laugh once the Sem brothers catch up with me. Seems she's their sister."
"Dude." Luc streched out the word and then whistled, low and long. "Nice knowing you. So, will it at least have been worth it? Being gutted by Shade, I mean. Was she good ?"
His body heated as though remembering. And wanting again.
"Of course I was."
Fuck. Con spun around to find Sin standing there, hands on hips and fury in her expression. Like a kid caught stealing candy, he whipped the money behind his back. She looked at him as if he was an idiot and grabbed his arm, briging it around.
"It's not what you think," he said lamely, because it was exactly what she thought.
"Really? So that big asshole behind you didn't bet you five hundred bucks that you couldn't fuck me ?"
"Ah..."
"That's what I thought. You dick. How stupid do you think I am ? Your name really fits you , Con." She snatched the money from him, took two hundreds and three twenties, and thrust the remaining two hundred and forty dollars back into his hand. Then, smiling broadly, she punched him in the shoulder. "Next time you make a bet like that, don't cheat me out of my half. I owe you a ten."
She winked ~ Larissa Ione

I never told her I loved her. What an ass I am. No wonder she left. I mean, I told her in a dozen different ways, but I never said the words."
"Are they so hard to say?"
"Yes, but ... I don't know. They shouldn't be." Gray shook his head. "Do you know, that fifteen-year-old boy had the courage to say in front of the whole crew what I couldn't bring myself to whisper in the dark? He'll make a fine officer someday, Davy Linnet. Got bigger stones than either of us, I'd wager."
Joss snorted. "Speak for yourself. ~ Tessa Dare

Describe for me, if you can, the nature of this wisdom.'

Anomander snorted impatiently. 'Wisdom is surrender.'

'To what?'

'Complexity.'

'To what end?'

'Swallow it down, spit it out in small measures, to make palatable what many may not otherwise comprehend.'

'An arrogant pose, First Son.'

'I do not claim it, Azathanai, just as I refuse for myself the notion of rule. And, in the name of worship, I am lost in doubt, if not outright disbelief.'

'And why is that?'

'Power does not confer wisdom, nor rightful authority, nor faith in either of the two. If it offers a caress, so too can it by force make one kneel. The former is by nature suspect, while the latter - well, it can at least be said that it does not disguise its truth.'

'You learn for liberty.'

'If I do, then I am the greater fool, because liberty is not in itself a virtue. It wins nothing but the false belief in one's own utterly unassailable independence. even the beasts will not plunge to that depth. No, if I yearn for anything, it is for responsibility. An end to the evasions, the lies spoken in the mind and the lies spoken to others, the endless game of deeds without blame, and all the causes of seeming justice behind which hide venal desires. I yearn for the coward's confession, and understand me well here, Caladan: we are all cowards. ~ Steven Erikson

Kasen lifted one of the bottles and read the label. "This stuff can kill you." "Yeah, but obviously not quick enough." He went to take another swig. Nykyrian jerked it out of his hand. "Hey!" He pulled it away from his grasping hand. "Don't even make that noise at me." Syn curled his lip. "You and Vik. You're both traitors. You might as well move in with Shahara, too." Vik had gone to live with her and refused to come back until Syn "got over himself". Little wormy betraying mecha bastard. Kasen shook her head. "I think this is the first time I've ever seen you drink from a bottle." Nykyrian snorted. "Lucky you. I've seen him tap a keg and funnel it."
- Kasen, Syn, & Nykyrian ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

Cam's grin was wicked as his hand coasted up my waist to cup my breast. He squeezed it, setting off a weird mixture of painful tenderness and a bolt of lust to my sex.
"My eyes!" Cole yelled.
Cam and I jerked apart, and I twisted my head to see my brother standing in the doorway in his pyjamas, his hair falling in wet locks across his forehead. His forearm covered his eyes. "I'm fucking blind," he growled and turned around, bumping into the wall before remembering to drop his arm. After that he stomped out of the flat, the door slamming in his wake.
Horrified, I looked up into Cam's face, my eyes wide. "I think I should let him get away with using the 'f' word on this occasion."
Cam snorted, laughter sputtering as he dropped his head to my chest, his whole body shaking with amusement.
I felt an irrepressible giggle escape me despite my mortification for myself and Cole. "It's not funny. We've scarred him. I better check on him."
Cam shook his head, his eyes bright with mirth. "You're the last person he wants to see right now … I'm sure he's barricaded himself in his room and is doing anything he can to burn the image of me dry-humping his sister out of his mind. ~ Samantha Young

Kelsea didn't recognize the guard, but she knew his voice. After a moment she realized, bemused, that it was Dyer. He'd shaved his red beard.
"Dyer, is that your face under there?"
Dyer flushed bright red. Pen snorted gleefully, and Kibb clapped Dyer on the back. "I told him, Lady...now we can see every time he blushes. ~ Erika Johansen

Ria snorted. Leo's pride rarely leaves the plains. What are they
supposed to mate? The zebras? ~ Lora Leigh

That's a poweful ability you've got there. Seriously, I was Contemplating killing Cody so we could be a couple.'
She snorted, but she never stopped smiling. 'We'd never make it romantically. You're too demanding in bed. "Harder, Rome. Now, Rome. Tie me up, Rome."'
'Bitch,' I muttered good-naturedley. It was nice to have my friend back. 'You know you wouldn't be able to get enough of me.'
'I like where this conversation is headed,' a male voice said from the doorway.
I looked past Sherridan and spotted Rome in the doorway.
'Hey, baby,' he said.
'Cat Man.' A more welcome sight I'd never beheld. My heart even picked up speed, my monitor announcing it for all the world to hear..
He stalked to me and unceremoniously shoved me aside on the bed where he plopped down and cuddled me close. 'Mad?'
As if. 'I'm grateful. I was walking toward Sherridan with every intention of making out with her, so you did me a favor. She would have fallen in love with me, and then where would we have been?'
'Now I'm mad at /myself/ for stopping you,' he grumbled, and we all laughed. Men! ~ Gena Showalter

You are never to be alone in a bedroom with a male."
She snorted. "You have no say over who I have in my bedroom. If I want to invite the entire Miami Dolphins team into my bed and have a big orgy while covered in chocolate sauce, you have no say in that whatsoever."
The brief image set fire to his blood, but he kept his temper on simmer, unwilling to let her bait him. Still, he kind of wanted to hunt down every player on the football team and turn them into stains on the Astroturf.
"My house," he gritted out, "my rules. No chocolate NFL orgies in my keep. I think that's a reasonable request. ~ Larissa Ione

Sera loaded the new ammunition and held up the gun. "I bet I can hit closer to the bulls-eye than you can."
Her victory came to him on a flash, right down to the cute little dance he was sure was last popular in the nineties. "Sucker bet, sunshine. Never wager with a precog."
"So cheat." She grinned. "You haven't even hear the terms yet. If you win, I'll let you buy me a pretty dress and take me out for a fancy dinner."
"And if I lose?"
"I get a cheap bar, beer, and hot wings, and dirty sex in the bathroom."
Julio cleared his throat, took the gun from her and winked. "Like I said, sucker bet."
"Uh-huh." As she stepped behind him, she trailed her fingers up his arm. "I'm bad news, mister. I hope you can handle me."
"I'll try." He lined up a shot, squeezed the trigger and snorted when the bullet went wide. "I told you I suck at this."
She laughed and retrieved the gun to line up her shot with adorable concentration that furrowed her brows. Her shot wasn't perfect, but it winged the target, and her victory dance was just as cute as it had been in his vision. ~ Moira Rogers

Ah, youth. It's like heroin you've smoked instead of snorted. Gone so fast you can't believe you still have to pay for it. ~ Josh Bazell

Wolfie growled, narrowing his eyes. "You know, the best way to get a predator to chase you is to run."
I snorted. "Oh my gosh, did you practice that line in front of a mirror or something? ~ Kiersten White

Don't misunderstand, but how dare you risk your life? What the devil did you think, to leap over like that? You could have stayed safe on this side and just helped me over." Even to her ears, her tone bordered on the hysterical.
Beneath her fingers, the white lawn started to redden.
She sucked in a shaky breath. "How could you risk your life-your life, you idiot!" She leaned harder on the pad, dragged in another breath.
He coughed weakly, shifted his head.
"Don't you dare die on me!"
His lips twisted, but his eyes remained closed. "But if I die"-his words were a whisper-"you won't have to marry, me or anyone else. Even the most censorious in the ton will consider my death to be the end of the matter. You'll be free."
"Free?" Then his earlier words registered. "If you die? I told you-don't you dare! I won't let you-I forbid you to. How can I marry you if you die? And how the hell will I live if you aren't alive, too?" As the words left her mouth, half hysterical, all emotion, she realized they were the literal truth. Her life wouldn't be worth living if he wasn't there to share it. "What will I do with my life if you die?"
He softly snorted, apparently unimpressed by-or was it not registering?-her panic. "Marry some other poor sod, like you were planning to."
The words cut. "You are the only poor sod I'm planning to marry." Her waspish response came on a rush of rising fear. She glanced around, but there was no one in sight. Help had yet ~ Stephanie Laurens

What evil?" He laughed. "What gods?" "The gods who made us all." "All?" he mocked. "Tell me, little bird, what kind of god makes a monster like the Imp, or a halfwit like Lady Tanda's daughter? If there are gods, they made sheep so wolves could eat mutton, and they made the weak for the strong to play with." "True knights protect the weak." He snorted. "There are no true knights, no more than there are gods. If you can't protect yourself, die and get out of the way of those who can. Sharp steel and strong arms rule this world, don't ever believe any different. ~ George R R Martin

There you go. That ego of yours getting in the way," I teased.
"Of what?"
"The perfect package."
He snorted. "Let me tell you, I have the perfect
"
"Don't be gross. ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

I suck at it? You're acting like this is some stupid play you've put together for the neighbors. This is real life, and I'm doing the best I can." "My plays were not stupid. We made a lot of money in admission tickets. I thought Annie was excellent." He snorted. "You can't even sing and you cast yourself as Annie." "You're still pissed because I wouldn't let you play Daddy Warbucks." He plowed ten fingers through his hair and made a noise deep in his throat. "How the hell do you get me on these ridiculous subjects? ~ Jennifer Probst

Sassy the basset hound sat up on the seat and yawned. Her tongue rolled into a long bologna canoe. She did a little shuffle on her front paws and snorted. Maybe it was a friendly greeting. Maybe she was having a doggie coronary. ~ Rick Riordan

All right," I said, waving the cup away and dabbing moisture very carefully from my lips. "I'm fine." I breathed shallowly, feeling my heart begin to slow down. "Well. So. At least now I know why you've been coming back from the Cherokee villages in such a state of-- off--" I felt an unhinged giggle rising, and bent over, moaning as I stifled it. "Oh, Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ. And here I thought it was thoughts of me, driving you mad with lust."
He snorted then himself, though mildly. He put down the cup, rose, and turned back the coverlet. Then he looked at me, and his eyes were clear, unguarded.
"Claire," he said, quite gently, "it was you. It's always been you, and it always will be. Get into bed, and put the candle out. As soon as I've fastened the shutters, smoored the hearth, and barred the door, I'll come and keep ye warm. ~ Diana Gabaldon

Go lie down" I told them. You're both exhausted, and we're not doing anything else tonight. Get some rest.
Puck snorted "My, aren't we bossy today," he said though it lack his over energy. "Give a girl an army and it goes straight to her head."
(Meghan & Puck) ~ Julie Kagawa

You know, I never imagined there were he-dryads. Not even in an oak tree."
One of the giants grinned at him.
Druellae snorted. "Stupid! Where do you think acorns come from? ~ Terry Pratchett

He's my brother. He's the one we're going to find.' 'Right.' 'We had a cousin who was disabled. He was always getting bullied and Paul was always sticking up for him.' 'He sounds like a nice guy, your brother,' said Marco kindly. 'He sounds like a dick,' Felix murmured under his breath. Marco tried not to laugh. Luckily Olivia hadn't heard him. 'He's brilliant,' said Olivia. 'When my mum and dad died he looked after me.' 'We'll find him,' said Marco. 'The dick,' Felix added, slightly too loudly, and Marco snorted. ~ Charlie Higson

Talon snorted down at Tre. "Wow. That's almost genius, Betty. Got anything else for us before we head out?"

Tre reached out and shoved Talon's shoulder. "Quit calling me Betty. So what if I like to bake. I don't see you turning down my red velvet cupcakes, asshole. ~ Gayle Donnelly

Seriously, I'm totally weirded out by the girly nature of this conversation. And yet, it's kinda like you're growing up. Do you think Judy Blume made a book about adolescent vampires? Are You There God, It's Me, Merit? Mallory snorted, obviously pleased with herself. ~ Chloe Neill

...All they were interested in was where she planned to get her tattoo.
"You're just going to have to use your imagination," she told them.
Cooper snorted. "Becker is screwed then. He doesn't have any imagination. ~ Paige Tyler

Anya had never seen a house uglier house than Baba Yaga's. It was made entirely of mouldy bones in the same interlocking design as a log cabin. A thorny garden grew as high as the fence and skulls, bleached white by the sun, capped each fence post. Two enormous scaly chicken legs came out on either side of the house. Anya snorted in amusement and disgust. Yvan, she noticed, had turned an interesting shade of grey. ~ Amy Kuivalainen

And how does my aide come by this information before I do?"

"Well, you know . . . pillow talk. See, sex - in this case - is an advantage to you. McNab said they'd get through faster, but at data clubs like that, the units are totally clogged. But he's on it and it's his top priority."

She cleared her throat when Eve made no comment. "Should I still contact Captain Feeney?"

"Oh, Feeney and I appear to be superfluous at this point. You and McPecker can fill us in whenever you feel it's appropriate."

"McPecker." Peabody snorted. "That's a good one. I'm going to use it on him."

"Happy to help." She shot Peabody a deceptively friendly look. "Perhaps I'm wasting my time going to the lab. Have you and Dickie also had a liaison?"

" Eeeuw."

"My faith in you is, at least, partially restored. ~ J.D. Robb

I elbowed him. "Some people are scared of me, you know, like that guy over there." The guy in question paled when I looked his way and tried to hide behind a banner half his size.
Nicholas snorted. "Ten points if you can make him hide behind that creepy little girl over there. ~ Alyxandra Harvey

He's Black Council," I said.
"Or maybe stupid," Ebenezar countered.
I thought about it. "Not sure which is scarier."
Ebenezar blinked at me, then snorted. "Stupid, Hoss. Every time. Only so many blackhearted villains in the world, and they only get uppity on occasion. Stupid's everywhere, every day. ~ Jim Butcher

...The Arabs I rode herding cattle with your father in the fifties and sixties would do a full day's work for twenty years, seven days a week, and retire sound." He snorted. "The drive now is for pretty lawn ornaments. The Arabian horses were originally bred as weapons of war, and now they are artwork. ~ Patricia Briggs

Yes, Max is very hot." "Excuse me?" She laughed. "He's the knight, and you're the noble gentleman, silly. You're both hotties." Ethan snorted with a laugh. "On with the tour you noble hotty you." "You're a funny girl, but also quite hot." "Thanks." Ethan ~ Cheri Schmidt

Neg peered at me over the top of her cat-eye glasses. 'How come you made her laugh?'
'That wasn't my intention. Besides, it isn't illegal to make someone laugh.'
'You asked her to be your girlfriend, didn't you?'
'I - What? No. Sort of. Yes.'
'That was stupid.'
I found it humiliating to have my love life criticized by a little girl wearing a unicorn-and-crossbones badge. 'You wouldn't understand.'
Meg snorted.
I seemed to be everyone's source of amusement today. ~ Rick Riordan

Go on," Ali told me. "Get dressed. Make your bed. And for heaven's sakes, Bryn, brush your hair. You're starting to look like a cavegirl."
"Bryn want kill dinosaur," I said, pantomiming what I thought passed for a decent dinosaur-killing motion.
For the first time in weeks, Ali laughed. "Go on. And if you're very good, Ali show Bryn big heaping secret. Fiiiiiirrrre. Make tasty warm dinosaur meat."
I snorted. "Dork."
"Right back at ya, kiddo. ~ Jennifer Lynn Barnes

He snorted and hit me in the solar plexus. I bent over and took hold of the room with both hands and spun it. When I had it nicely spinning I gave it a full swing and hit myself on the back of the head with the floor. ~ Raymond Chandler

He snorted into his radicchio, which I admired because it was a pretty purple. The radicchio was purple, not his snort. Just in case you got confused there. I don't think it's possible for people to snort colors. We're not unicorns, after all. ~ T.J. Klune

Did it fall out?" Leo asked. "Is she bald?"
"No, not at all. It's just that her hair is...green."
To look at Leo's face, one would think it was Christmas morning. "What shade of green?"
"Leo, hush," Win said urgently. "You are not to torment her. It's been a very trying experience. We mixed a peroxide paste to take the green out, and I don't know if it worked or not. Amelia was helping her to wash it a little while ago. And no matter what the result is, you are to say nothing."
"You're telling me that tonight, Marks will be sitting at the supper table with hair that matches the asparagus, and I'm not supposed to remark on it?" He snorted. "I'm not that strong."
"Please, Leo," Poppy murmured, touching his arm. "If it were one of your sisters, you wouldn't mock."
"Do you think that little shrew would have any mercy on me, were the situations reversed?" He rolled his eyes as he saw their expressions. "Very well, I'll try no to jeer. But I make no promises."
Leo sauntered toward the house in no apparent hurry. He didn't deceive either of his sisters.
"How long do you think it will take him to find her?" Poppy asked Win.
"Two, perhaps three minutes," Win replied, and they both sighed. ~ Lisa Kleypas

He reached across the car and took my hand. "I know I haven't been around as much," he said, "but after today, my schedule won't be so busy."
"I understand," I said softly. And I did. "Football is your life. It's your dream."
He made a sound. "You're just as important to me."
I smiled. "I have to admit I won't be upset when this game is over and all the girls around here stop wearing your number all over their bodies."
His white teeth flashed. "Is someone jealous?"
I snorted.
His smile grew wider.
"Maybe a little," I admitted.
He lunged forward and in seconds had me in his lap, my legs straddling him so we were face to face. He buried his hands in my tangled disaster of hair. I admit I hadn't even brushed it when we got out of bed this morning.
"You're my favorite girl," he whispered.
"I better be your only girl."
He smiled. "That too. ~ Cambria Hebert

You didn't really bring me beets, did you?" ...
"I did," he murmured, his thumbs sliding underneath my T-shirt the tiniest bit. "I brought mad beets."
"Oh man," I snorted ... "Did you bring me anything else?"
He brought his face back to mine, tinged with the slightest of blush. "I hesitate to say it now."
"What did you bring?" I asked his shaking shoulders.
He buried his head once again into my neck. "A really big zucchini ... ~ Alice Clayton

Genghis snorted. Men always die in war. Their kings expect it. I want them to know that if they resist me, they are putting their hand in the mouth of a wolf. They will lose everything and they can expect no mercy. ~ Conn Iggulden

Zarya started to speak, then paused as she caught sight of Kyr in the doorway. He was staring a hole through Nykyrian. Syn nudged Nykyrian slightly to get his attention. "Look, Kip. Your friend wants to say hi." Nykyrian scoffed. "Damn, you're slow, Syn. He's been eyeballing me for about five minutes now." Syn snorted. "Eyeballing. Ar, ar. I get it." Unamused, Nykyrian released an elongated breath, but Zarya thought it was funny. Sick, ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

Salem snorted. The Vamp basically told her, 'I'm in a weird place in me life right now, and I need some space.' Of course, he told her that by pointing a bloody sword at her whilst bellowing, 'I forsake you!' in front of the whole kingdom. ~ Kresley Cole

Cracking his knuckles, Cary dramatically prepared to open his fortune cookie. "Let's see. Will I be rich? Famous? About to
meet Mr. or Ms. Tall, Dark, and Tasty? Traveling to distant lands? What'd you guys get?"
"Mine's lame," I said. "In the end all things will be known. Duh. I didn't need a fortune to figure that out."
Gideon opened his and read, "Prosperity will knock on your door soon."
I snorted.
Cary shot me a look. "I know, right? You snatched someone else's cookie, Cross."
"He better not be anywhere near someone else's cookie," I said dryly.
Reaching over, Gideon plucked half of mine out of my fingers. "Don't worry, angel. Your cookie is the only one I want."
He popped it in his mouth with a wink.
"Gag," Cary muttered. "Get a room." He cracked his fortune with a flourish, and then scowled. "What the fuck?"
I leaned forward. "What's it say?"
"Confucius say," Gideon ad-libbed, "man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day."
Cary threw half his cookie at Gideon, who caught it deftly and grinned.
"Give me that." I snatched the fortune out from between Cary's fingers and read it. Then laughed.
"Fuck you, Eva."
"Well?" Gideon prodded.
"Pick another cookie."
Gideon smiled. "Pwned by a fortune."
Cary threw the other half of his cookie. ~ Sylvia Day

Why wasn't she cooperating? He stood to his full height. "I am Ronan Kayrs of the Kayrs ruling family. Obey me, woman."
She snorted.
He gaped. What had happened to the world he'd protected? ~ Rebecca Zanetti

What does that look like to you?" he said. "A forgery." He shrugged, snorted quietly. "That's right, Heller. We have teams of forgers at work creating phony documents just for you." His sarcasm was subtle. "Now do you see? Starting to recognize your brother's modus operandi? Steal a bunch of money, then, when you realize that you've messed with the wrong guys, do the cowardly thing and run? Wonder where he got that from." "Screw you." I no longer felt bad about making up that story about his cigars. "Oh, believe me, it's the truth. Maybe to Victor Heller's sons that's nothing more than loose change you find under your sofa cushions. But not to me. And certainly not to Allen Granger. ~ Joseph Finder

Aric told me I should give my blessing to you and Jack."

She snorted. "You can bless us all you want, but it's not happening."

I frowned at her. "You told me things had changed between you two."

"Yeah. As in, I made peace with the fact that I'll never be with him. It was a done thing between you two before I ever came into the picture."

"Why are you so sure?"

"After he heard you didn't want to have anything to do with him, J.D. took it bad - like head in his hands, pulling out his hair. So we got wasted together. I told him how I felt about him, and I tried to kiss him."

Jealousy scored me.

"And do you know what he did?"

I held my breath.

"He pushed me away, telling me that the people of his mother's blood fall in love once. They pray they get it right - because it can't be changed. He told me his mother loved his father, unrequited, and nineteen years of misery couldn't shake it. ~ Kresley Cole

Logan reached out and caught my shoulders when I started to leave. He pulled me back against his chest and enfolded his arms over my chest. "Ah, our little sister, trying to be all nice and saintly."
Mason snorted and opened the door. "Saints don't set cars on fire."
We all piled out behind him and Logan chuckled. "There's that, yeah. ~ Tijan

Sorry, I thought I saw a guilt trip looming up,' said Clements. 'I had a Catholic upbringing - spent a week in a monastery once. My mother – a devout woman all her days, God bless her – thought it would do me good to be exposed to truly good people who had denied themselves everything to follow God.' Clements snorted and turned to look out of the car window.

'I take it, it didn't work?'

'I don't think there was a single one of them – apart from maybe a little Irishman, who had never known anything else - who wasn't on some kind of guilt trip. They hadn't given up anything at all: they were running away from things; hiding; the lot of them; and mainly from their real selves. Show me a monk and I'll show you one screwed-up individual with a past. ~ Ken McClure

Sergeant Major," Arjun said quietly, "there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Yur snorted. "Is that a fancy way of saying it's above my pay grade, sir? ~ Neal Stephenson

Jack! Pray tell Miss MacFarlane that the roads are impassable."
"The roads are impassable," he replied immediately.
"And that she should stay at least another day."
"You should stay at least another day," he repeated, a twinkle in his eyes.
Fiona nodded. "And that she is more then welcome here."
"I am certain she knows that."
"And how we'd love to have her for another week, at least,and-"
Jack laughed and took his wife's hand. "Fiona, my love, I believe Miss MacFarlane is very aware that we both wish her to stay."
Sophia had to smile. "I am very flattered, but we really must go. There've been so many unexpected storms that the roads could easily get worse."
Jack snorted a laugh while Fiona glanced up the stairs. "Haven't there been," she said grimly before returning to gaze at Sophia. "I am so disappointed you are leaving."
There was genuine warmth in Fiona's voice. "I am, too,but I must get back to my father, who has been ill. I was only to be gone one day, and he'll worry if I don't return immediately."
"I suppose you can't-"
"She's not going anywhere."
Sophia closed her eyes at the deep voice from the top of the stairs. Her enitre body had tightened at the sound, traitor that it was.
Dougal came down the stairs to stand before Sophia, his expressioin guarded and tense. "Fiona,Jack, would you mind giving me a few moments' private speech with Miss MacFarlane?"
"Will you attempt to persuade her to stay ~ Karen Hawkins

Charlie snorted. Sure. Insta-friends with one of the world's most famous rock stars. ZERO weirdness. Check. And you're not my type either, dude. ~ Anne Eliot