Snarky Banter Quotes

Have you seen the mummies at the British Museum?"
"The Egyptian ones? No, not yet. But they have a similar thing in China."
"Did you ever imagine if they started moving? Withered hands reaching towards you and sunken eyes staring?"
"I didn't, but now I know what I'll be dreaming about tonight. ~ K.J. Charles

Why does it not surprise me that you talk during sex? ~ Suzanne Brockmann

I love the energy we create between us when we banter like this. It's the most intense sensation of pleasure, knowing he'll always have the perfect response ready. I've never known anyone like him; as addictive to talk to as he is to kiss. "Truth ~ Sally Thorne

For new atheists, the science is settled, the data is conclusive and the book (no, not the "Good Book") has been written. Time for everyone else to pack up and move on to other business, like, presumably, accumulating wealth and fulminating at the sight of the nearest Christmas tree. The militant atheist wants nothing more than to spoil the believer's spiritual journey. That's both mean-spirited and radically unenlightened. Though more than 95% of the world finds some meaning in faith, God-hating comic Bill Maher shrugs this off as a "neurological disorder." His version of a quest for knowledge was a series of scathing jokes at the faithfuls' expense in the documentary "Religulous." The latest incarnation of the thought-eschewing secularist is American Atheists spokesman Dave Silverman, who sums up the argument this way on atheistnexus.org: "Religion is my bitch." He has also tweeted, "Yes it is a myth. Deal with it. All delusions are myths." It's these snarky and condescending rejections, not of faith itself but of those who profess it, that reflect a total unwillingness to learn something new about human nature, the world around us and even of science itself. While the neo-atheists pay only cursory attention to dismantling arguments for God, they spend most of their time painting his followers as uncultured rubes. The fact that religion has inexplicably persisted, even despite Copernicus, Darwin and the Enlightenment, doesn't seem to have much sociological meaning for them. ~ S.E. Cupp

You must not imagine that Papa or I have the least notion of compelling you to marry anyone whom you hold in aversion, for I am sure that such a thing would be quite shocking! And Charles would not do so either, would you, dear Charles?"(Elizabeth Ombersley)
"No, certainly not. But neither would I consent to her marriage with any such frippery fellow as Augustus Fawnhope!"
"Augustus," announced Cecilia, putting up her chin, "will be remembered long after you have sunk into oblivion!"
"By his creditors? I don't doubt it. ~ Georgette Heyer

When someone tells me to pray my regards, I always turn around to ask cash or card? ~ EverSkeptic

If you're ever short on cash, you could set up a booth and charge the ladies to massage your bod."
"Oh yeah?" His voice was wary.
"Sure. Say, fifteen bucks for a two minute fondle. Strictly PG-13, above the waist, of course. I'll sell the tickets, if you give me a cut."
His hands stopped moving. She babbled on, dazed and thoughtless. "The gay guys would go for it, too. We'd rake in the dough."
"I'd let you do it for free," he said.
His voice was devoid of irony. Her eyes popped open in alarm.
She looked back over her shoulder. The hot glow in his eyes brought her feminine instincts to high alert. She pulled away.
She and her big dumb mouth. Sexy banter with a guy she barely knew, but no nerve to back it up. ~ Shannon McKenna

You know, stealing someone's kill is bad form," he complained, cutting through the quiet tension. ~ Katherine McIntyre

More often than not he wore jeans with at least half a dozen holes, flip-flops that made him look like he was heading to the beach and a T-shirt, usually with a snarky saying. Today's offering was Heavily armed, easily pissed. ~ Maya Banks

[ ... ]my memory is reasonably good - unlike yours, dear sir!"
"Mine is erratic," he said imperturbably. "I remember only what interests me. ~ Georgette Heyer

When engaging in simple everyday banter and communications, this rule of thumb can really help suppress a lot of our negative word 'vomit' since we often mindlessly chat about the things we don't like. If we refrain from expressing our negative opinions about things unless they're directly asked for, we can train ourselves to respond rather than react the second we see or hear something and then feel we must verbalize our views about it.

Remember, even if we don't agree with someone or something, we can still speak about the subject at hand in a positive light to encourage growth rather than guilty motivation. I like to say I express more "inspirations" than "opinions" with each passing day. ~ Alaric Hutchinson

I have a lot of favorite films. I tend to love the silliness of 'Bringing Up Baby.' 'Charade' is fantastic. 'His Girl Friday,' the banter in that, that alone made me want to be a writer. ~ Jennifer Grant

In the end, I think the relationships that survive in this world are the ones where two people can finish each other's sentences. Forget drama and torrid sex and the clash of opposites. Give me banter any day of the week. ~ Douglas Coupland

Don't care if you're man
or woman: SEXIST
pub talk
belongs in the sewer. ~ Andy Carrington

I hate having to do small talk. I'd rather talk about deep subjects. I'd rather talk about meditation, or the world, or the trees or animals, than small, inane, you know, banter. ~ Ellen DeGeneres

I don't banter with the audience, cause I don't have anything to say to them, and I'm not feeling any sense of ease or camaraderie when I'm on stage. ~ Dan Bejar

Well,' Frederick had said, 'I will see what can be arranged, Archie. But I will not have the girl frightened or compromised.'
'You sound like a grandfather who has raised fifteen daughters and is now starting on his granddaughters, Freddie,' Lord Archibald had said. 'It is most disconcerting. ~ Mary Balogh

Dorothea is a Grey," he pointed out. "Any member of her family would pause on the gallows to exchange witty banter with the hangman before graciously putting the noose about his neck with his own hands. ~ Diana Gabaldon

The press always ends up being much nicer than I expect. A lot of times they say something snarky about you, but then you meet them in person and they couldn't be nicer. ~ Josh Schwartz

Your pussy taste like night."
"It's enchanted. ~ Misty Kayn

You'd think I would know better than to get involved with someone in my own department. But I'm really crap at resisting sexual tension. Oh, it's entertaining for a few weeks, the fuzzy sting that rushes down your vertebra to your groin when the eyes meet, the banter spiked with innuendo - then it becomes irritating, and you need to get it out of your system. Neutralize it by indulging it, which is fine, assuming you can both keep it tidy. ~ Lauren Beukes

Can I take the cap and gown off now? I feel kind of dorky. You look kind of dorky ... my subconscious is at her snarky best. So are you going to introduce Ray to the man you're f**king? She is glaring at me over her wing-shaped spectacles. He'd be so proud. ~ E.L. James

Go figure, that happened to be his same style of flirtation as well - annoy her half to death until, before she could stop herself, she confessed her deep darks and bonded with him to a degree she never had before. ~ Katherine McIntyre

I consider myself a product of Alaska. The love and the debt that I feel to my home state - you always want your hometown to be the proudest of you, and so it's heartbreaking to hear people say snarky things. ~ Jewel

Took long enough," she called out, not wanting to admit how the sight of him made her throat hitch, how the man was so gorgeous she lost her mind. "I thought you drowned in the mirror from staring into your reflection too long. ~ Katherine McIntyre

Who are you after?"
"The snarky asshole one."
"Could you be a little more specific."
"The one who has a staff and throws their toys out of the pram that one."
"Ooh."
"Yeah. ~ Charon Lloyd-Roberts

You heard Alanna. Someone's got to be on you at all times." His dark eyes glinted with a hot sort of mischief, his double entendre clear as day. ~ Katherine McIntyre

The English reputation for humour is a way by which people avoid revealing themselves and have superficial relationships, so that you can engage in banter without making yourself vulnerable. ~ Theodore Zeldin

I know I'm asking a lot. You'd need to start talking, stop growling, and bathe. No offense meant, but you look like a crazy man the way you are. ~ Melissa Haag

He never should have left the island. He'd been there with Diana and Penny. He could have tossed Penny off a cliff and been fine on the island. Decent food, a beautiful mansion, electricity, and a soft bed with Diana in it.
What had he been thinking, leaving the island?
He missed Diana busting him. He missed her snarky voice. He missed her eye rolls and that skeptical look she had where she'd half close her eyes and look at him like he was too dumb to merit her full attention. He'd have killed, or at least injured, anyone else who treated him like that. But she wasn't anyone else.
He missed her hair. Her neck. Her breasts.
She understood him. She loved him, in her own way. And if he had listened to her, he'd still be on the island. Somehow he would have found some fuel to keep the lights on there. Probably. And the food would have run out and then they'd have starved, but hey, this was the FAYZ, where all you could really hope to do was delay the pain. ~ Michael Grant

If all the world's a stage, then it's missing a few planks. ~ John Fogarty

You like my forearms?
No, not yours in particular. I mean, they're fine. Just, it's a sexy body part.
I totally agree. I just didn't know girls liked them too.
Oh, yes, Daniel. All girls like forearms. Every single one. No really, I've asked all of us and we all agree. We don't even agree about whether or not the long arm of the law should be able to reach into our vaginas, but we agree about forearms. ~ Roan Parrish

It's your birthright to be snarky. Own it. Live it. Rejoice in it. ~ Lauren Myracle

Please believe me. I've nothing against you personally. It's just that I laugh at all jokes. ~ Fakeer Ishavardas

Long pants,' she said rather too fiercely to Andy when he came out of his room wearing shorts. 'Long pants.' She herded him back towards his door. 'These people are from head office. These people are from Melbourne.' And she emphasised Melbourne as if that should have been all he needed to know.
'Melbourne people vomit if they see knees,' I told him, and he said, 'Why is that kind of information never part of the briefing? ~ Nick Earls

At paces that might stun and dismay the religious jogger, the runners easily kept up all manner of chatter and horseplay. When they occasionally blew by a huffing fatty or an aging road runner, they automatically toned down the banter to avoid overwhelming, to preclude the appearance of show boating (not that they slowed in the slightest). They in fact respected these distant cousins of the spirit, who, among all people, had some modicum of insight into their own days and ways. But the runners resembled them only in the sense that a puma resembles a pussy cat. It is the difference between stretching lazily on the carpet and prowling the jungle for fresh red meat. ~ John L. Parker Jr.

As long as we avoided the real subject, the spell could not be broken. We both slipped naturally into this kind of banter, and it became all the more powerful because neither of us abandoned the charade. We knew what we were doing, but at the same time we pretended not to. ~ Paul Auster

It's tempting to just write a comic called 'Everyone Mail Randall Munroe Twenty Bucks' - maybe it would work, and I could just close down the 'xkcd' store and sit on a beach and draw pictures and make snarky Reddit posts for the rest of my life. ~ Randall Munroe

A lot of people have said that I'm super-snarky and mean. But honesty is the only way to get people to change. It's very important to be constructively critical - give people alternatives and you're giving them a new way to see themselves. ~ Stacy London

Legendary manners there, Karim," she commented, her voice calm. "Your mother teach you?"

"I was taught the advantage of surprise," he responded as he walked over to her massive desk. ~ Katherine McIntyre

Quinn Cummings is a master story-teller and her book is nothing short of delightful. Her insights into topics like celebrity, parenting, and cats with a taste for homicide are pithy and uproarious and not to be missed. Notes from the Underwire is charming, hilarious, and just snarky enough to be ultimately satisfying. ~ Jen Lancaster

I just made a movie. There's a kind of a banter that some people might recognize as being screwball. There are no cell phones, no DVD playersit's set in a timeless Brooklyn. Hopefully, it's a good, old-fashioned movie. ~ Michael Showalter

How about I call you when I finish this?"
"But you don't even have my phone number," he said.
"I strongly suspect you write it in the book. ~ John Green

No fair maiden should die alone" he said, putting a hand on hers. "Shall I read to you in your final moments? What story would you like?"
She snatched her hand back. 'How about the story of the idiotic prince who won't leave the assassin alone?"
"Oh! I love that story! It has such a happy ending too- why, the assassin was really feigning her illness in order to get the prince's attention! Who would have guessed it? Such a clever girl. And the bedroom scene is so lovely- it's worth reading through all of their ceaseless banter! ~ Sarah J. Maas

You really are F****** arresting, love, but I reckon I'll be the one doing the cuffing tonight. ~ L.J. Shen