Shite Quotes

It's easy tae be philosophical when some other cunt's got shite fir blood. ~ Irvine Welsh

Whoever said misery loves company was full of shite. Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, however ... that guy was onto something. ~ Stephen King

Jaysus, you must be the most nosey little shite I have ever come across in my bleeding life. ~ Eden Butler

Had the girl had any common sense, she would have dropped the line at once. But she had no sense. She made no sense. She was a pale English rose of a governess, adrift in a watery wilderness, on her way to a grueling post on a godforsaken island, when any fool could have told her-a woman so lovely need never work for her keep.
Had the men around her any sense, they would have cut the rope immediately. But they were idiots, bloody shite-for-brains idiots, too entranced by the pretty girl in peril to reach for their knives.
Had Gray his own knife, he would have drawn it. But he wasn't wearing his knife, because he wasn't the captain on this ship, was he? Nor an officer, nor even part of the crew. He was just a stupid, overdressed passenger who hadn't strapped on a goddamned knife that morning because it might ruin the lines of his goddamned brand-new coat. ~ Tessa Dare

Fuckin failures in a country of failures. Its nae good blamin it oan the English fir colonising us. Ah don't hate the English. They're just wankers. We are colonised by wankers. We can't even pick a decent, vibrant healthy society to be colonised by. No..we are ruled by effete arseholes. What does that make us? The lowest of the low, the scum of the earth. The most wretched servile, miserable, pathetic trash that was ever shat intae creation. Ah don't hate the English. They just git oan wis the shite thev got. Ah hate the Scots. ~ Irvine Welsh

You know, do nice shite for her. Buy her things. Really think about what she likes and what makes her happy and make it happen. She'll come around. And if she doesn't, you can cut off your horns for her. Chicks dig that. (Cadeon) ~ Kresley Cole

There are so few people left alive from back then, you may as well be talking to them about the Black Death. Nobody recalls the shite in the 30s and that were fucking horrible. For Christ's sake, nobody wants to remember the shite in the 80s. It's all forgotten and swept under the rug by the newspapers and the BBC. They get nostalgic about the music, but they never want to mention the misery. It's all shite. As for the bloody Second World War, the politicians only talk about it when they need an excuse to go pissing about in one of those fucking Muslim countries. ~ Harry Leslie Smith

Soon all of this shite-hole will know I am the Greatest Swordsman in the world. You, my friend, will sadly not live to see that day. Such is the fate of stepping-stones. ~ Michael R. Fletcher

They had a leader. Some rebel. Shite! I don't remember his name. You know me and names. He was a dickhead and everybody says so. And old Bitch Tits kicked him down here. He started some rebellion." "Lucifer?" "That's the one. Lucifer. They prayed to Lucifer. ~ Clive Barker

She's quite a nice looking lassie or she wid be if she didnae look shite. ~ Irvine Welsh

All right, funny man. Some of the shite I've seen in the last couple o' years makes AIDS monkeys sound downright sensible. ~ Garth Ennis

When I lifted my head, Christian was sending a text message. "Give me that!"
I sprang to my knees and snatched it away. "What the hell did you say?"
"Only that I had you on your back. I made sure to sign my name."
"You idiot!"
I punched his shoulder and he smirked. "In-service massage?"
Silver: It's not what you think, Logan. I'll call you later. Miss u.
"It's your funeral. Logan is a Chitah."
Christian's eyes widened. "You're serious? You? And a Chitah?" He raked his fingers through his hair. "Shite, why didn't you tell me you were dating a fecking lunatic? Those bastards have a thing about hunting you for life. ~ Dannika Dark

Don't say 'Horse shite,' Amelia-Rose whispered, drawing even with him.
What should I call it, then, digested equine grass lumps? ~ Suzanne Enoch

Ow!" Aideen suddenly hollered which earned a bark from my bedroom.
"Go back asleep you fat shite!" Aideen shouted when I swiped the antiseptic wipe over a small cut above her eye.
I hissed at her, "Leave him alone, he isn't fat. He just has a thick coat!"
Aideen laughed through her hissing. "Yeah, a thick coat of blubber."
I gave her a firm look. "Don't slag me baby when I'm cleanin' you up. Me finger might slip and jam into your eye. ~ L.A. Casey

We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. We realise that we're all going to die, without really finding out the big answers. We develop all those long-winded ideas which just interpret the reality of our lives in different ways, without really extending our body of worthwhile knowledge, about the big things, the real things. Basically, we live a short disappointing life; and then we die. We fill up our lives with shite, things like careers and relationships to delude ourselves that it isn't all totally pointless. ~ Irvine Welsh

If you have had an unfortunate experience, forget it. If you have made a failure in speech, your song, your book, your article, if you have been placed in an embarrassing position, if you have fallen and hurt yourself by a false step, if you have been slandered and abused, do not dwell upon it. There is not a single redeeming feature in these memories, and the presence of their ghosts will rob you of many a happy hour. There is nothing in it. Drop them. Forget them. Wipe them out of your mind forever. If you have been indiscreet, imprudent, if you have been talked about, if your reputation has been injured so that you fear you can never outgrow it or redeem it, do not drag the hideous shadows, the rattling skeletons about with you, Rub them off from the shite of memory. Wipe them out. Forget them. Start with a clean slate and spend all your energies in keeping it clean for the future. ~ Orison Swett Marden

This is from "Marabou Stork Nightmares".
Bernard's Poem:

Did you see her on the telly the other day
good family entertainment the tabloids say

But when you're backstage
at your new faeces audition
you hear the same old shite of your own selfish volition

She was never a singer
a comic or a dancer
I cant say I was sad
when I found out she had cancer

Great Britain's earthy northern
comedy queen
takes the rand, understand
from the racist Boer regime

So now her cells are fucked
and thats just tough titty
I remember her act
that I caught back in Sun City

She went on and on about
'them from the trees
with different skull shapes
from the likes of you and me'

Her Neo-Nazi spell
it left me fucking numb
the Boers lapped it up with zeal
so did the British ex-pat scum

But what goes round
comes round they say
so welcome to another dose
of chemotherapy

And for my part
it's time to be upfront
so fuck off and die
you carcinogenic cunt. ~ Irvine Welsh

Did I call them Laurel and Hardy? I meant sodding Romeo and Juliet. This is flirting, á la Gestapo underlings:

She: Oh, you are so strong and manly, M'sieur Thibaut. These knots you tie are so secure.

He: That is nothing. Look, I pull them so tight you cannot undo them. Try.

She: It is true, I cannot! Oh, pull them tighter!

He: Chérie, your wish is my command.

It is my ankles, not hers, which he is binding so tightly and with such masculine charm.

She: I shall have to call you in tomorrow morning as well, to do this task for me.

He: You must cross the cords, so, and knot them behind -

Me: Squeak! Squeak!

She: Shut up and write, ya wee skrikin' Scots piece o' shite.

Well, no, she did not use those exact words. But you get the idea. ~ Elizabeth Wein

Watch yourself, bitch. You're nothing but a thief and gob shite scumbag with a face like an arse and a mind to go with it, ~ D.H. Toole

We're at a time when we are being presented with undeniable changes in the global climate and fundamental issues that affect every single one of us, and it's the time we're listening to the most hokey shite on the radio and watching vacuous bullshit celebrities being vacuous bullshit celebrities and desperately trying to forget about everything. Which is fine, you know, but personally speaking, I can't do that. ~ Thom Yorke

The first fat raindrop landed on the back of Galen's hand. He tilted back his head and saw the clouds he had noticed the previous eve had grown thicker, heavier with rain. They blocked the sun as the wind began to pick up. "Shite," Logan cursed as he stood. "Just what we need. ~ Donna Grant

This internal sea. The problem is that this beautiful ocean carries with it loads ay poisonous flotsam and jetsam ... that poison is diluted by the sea, but once the ocean rolls out, it leaves the shite behind, inside ma body. It takes as well as gives, it washes away ma endorphins, ma pain resistance centres; they take a long time tae come back. ~ Irvine Welsh

I remember, I walked in to the house expecting to be consoled by my father, but he yelled, 'What, you fucking lost!' At this stage I was still only a kid, if I lost then I was given a good kicking by him. He would suddenly turn in to King Kong and proceeded to paint the walls seven colours of shite with me! ~ Stephen Richards

... Basically, we live a short, disappointing life; and then we die. We fill up oor lives wi shite, things like careers and relationships tae delude oorsels that it isnae aw totally pointless. ~ Irvine Welsh

I think you have to take your worth from yourself. If you don't look like people do on the telly, it doesn't matter. If you have nothing in common with the women and men in magazines, it doesn't matter. They're not the norm. Magazines women are put there to make us buy stuff. All it makes me want to buy is food. And fewer magazines. Fuck that, none. If you know that you are a good person, kind, hardworking, interesting and interested then go with that. Fuck what your hair looks like. Or your nails. The heels of of my feet are covered in such hard skin that they make a noise on wooden floors. Do I dash out and get hard skin-melting shite from Boots? No, I just think, if shoes become scarce I'll be fine. My husband once said that skin is nature's shoes. ~ Sarah Millican

It's all okay, it's all beautiful; but ah fear that this internal sea is gaunnae subside soon, leaving this poisonous shite washed up, stranded up in ma body. ~ Irvine Welsh

Archer arrived early the next morning. Grey was still asleep on the sofa in his study when he heard tapping on the window.
He opened his eyes and immediately regretted it as the sharp light of day pierced his brain. Squinting, he tried to focus on his brother, since he already knew who his visitor was. Only one person ever announced himself so annoyingly.
"Open the bloody window, Grey!"
Grumbling, Grey slowly rose into a full sitting position. His back and neck were stiff and his head felt as though someone had kicked it repeatedly from all sides. And his mouth! Christ, he didn't want to even think about what might have died inside it.
He staggered to the window, unlatched it and swung it open. "What the hell do you want?"
Wide-eyed, Archer made a tsking noise. "Is that any way to greet your favorite brother?"
"You're not my favorite," Grey scowled.
Unaffected, Archer easily adapted. "Is that any way to greet your second-favorite brother?"
Grey grinned, he couldn't help it. Archer had always had a knack for making him smile, just as he had a knack for pissing him off as well. "I'm hung over and feel like shite. What do you want?"
"You look like shite. What's this I hear about you making an appearance at Saint's Row last night?"
"Rose tell you that?"
"She did. I'm surprised you took such a risk just to see her."
Grey thought of her in that teal gown, the lights illuminating the luster of her skin. "It was worth it."Kathryn Smith