Sharon Salzberg Quotes

We're in charge of our own forgiveness, and the process takes time, patience, and intention. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Embracing what is We're conditioned to believe that painful feelings are "bad" and that pleasurable ones are "good." It's often easier - though not healthier - for us to avoid grief and sorrow, while only embracing sensations like happiness, confidence, and love. ~ Sharon Salzberg

There is no reason for a feeling of separation from anything or anyone, because we have been it all and done it all. How then can we feel self-righteous or removed from anyone or any action? Ther is no spot on this earth where we have not laughed, cried, been born and died. So in some sense, every single place we go is home. Everyone we meet we know. Everything that is done we are capable of. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Until we begin to question our basic assumptions about ourselves and view them as fluid, not fixed, it's easy to repeat established patterns and, out of habit, reenact old stories that limit our ability to live and love ourselves with an open heart. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Effort is the unconstrained willingness to persevere through difficulty. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Compassion isn't morose; it's something replenishing and opening; that's why it makes us happy. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Sanskrit has different words to describe love for a brother or sister, love for a teacher, love for a partner, love for one's friends, love of nature, and so on. English has only one word, which leads to never-ending confusion. ~ Sharon Salzberg

It's affirming that we can look at any experience from the fullness of our being and get past the shame we carry. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Vulnerability should be the thing that brings us closer than anything because we all share that. ~ Sharon Salzberg

We can't control what thoughts and emotions arise within us, nor can we control the universal truth that everything changes. But we can learn to step back and rest in the awareness of what's happening. That awareness can be our refuge. ~ Sharon Salzberg

I think what we (as a society) need from artists of all kinds is courage, a willingness to explore, and a really big sense of possibility. ~ Sharon Salzberg

When your attention is diffuse, it's like a broad, weak beam of light that doesn't reveal much. Concentration brings the weak beam down to a single, sharply focused, supremely bright, exponentially more illuminating point. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Contemplating the goodness within ourselves is a classical meditation, done to bring light, joy, and rapture to the mind. In contemporary times this practice might be considered rather embarrassing, because so often the emphasis is on all the unfortunate things we have done, all the disturbing mistakes we have made. Yet this classical reflection is not a way of increasing conceit. It is rather a commitment to our own happiness, seeing our happiness as the basis for intimacy with all of life. It fills us with joy and love for ourselves and a great deal of self-respect. Significantly, when we do metta practice, we begin by directing metta toward ourselves. This is the essential foundation for being able to offer genuine love to others ~ Sharon Salzberg

Self-compassion is like a muscle. The more we practice flexing it, especially when life doesn't go exactly according to plan (a frequent scenario for most of us), the stronger and more resilient our compassion muscle becomes. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Love simply, perpetually exists and that it's a matter of psychic housekeeping to make room for it. ~ Sharon Salzberg

By prizing heartfulness above faultlessness, we may reap more from our effort because we're more likely to be changed by it. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Equanimity can be hard to talk about. ~ Sharon Salzberg

All beings want to be happy, yet so very few know how. It is out of ignorance that any of us cause suffering, for ourselves or for others ~ Sharon Salzberg

I've been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened, Mark Twain once said. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Meditation is a cyclical process that defies analysis, but demands acceptance. ~ Sharon Salzberg

If we stretch ourselves to open our minds, to see our shared humanity with others, we allow ourselves to see the existence of community and generosity in unexpected places. ~ Sharon Salzberg

One of the most powerful aspects of delusion, or ignorance, is the belief that what we do does not really matter. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Every time we forget to breathe or our minds wander or we're hijacked by feelings or sensations, we gently bring ourselves back to the breath, again and again. ~ Sharon Salzberg

When we identify the thoughts that keep us from seeing others as they truly are we prepare the ground for real love. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Training attention through meditation opens our eyes. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Love exists in itself, not relying on owning or being owned. ~ Sharon Salzberg

When we forgive someone, we don't pretend that the harm didn't happen or cause us pain. We see it clearly for what it was, but we also come to see that fixating on the memory of harm generates anger and sadness. ~ Sharon Salzberg

No connection is always easy or free of strife, no matter how many minutes a day we meditate. It's how we relate to conflict, as well as to our differing needs and expectations, that makes our relationships sustainable. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Letting go - abandoning, relinquishing - is actually the same mind state as generosity. So the practice of giving deeply influences the feeling tone of our meditation practice, and vice versa. ~ Sharon Salzberg

The secure attachment of Western psychology is actually akin to Buddhist non-attachment; avoid-ant attachment is the inverse of being mindful and present; and anxious attachment aligns with Buddhist notions of clinging and grasping. ~ Sharon Salzberg

How we traverse the space between us when conflict arises has a profound effect on the health and longevity of our relationships. ~ Sharon Salzberg

You don't have to believe anything, adopt a dogma in order to learn how to meditate. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Meditation is essentially training our attention so that we can be more aware - not only of our own inner workings but also of what's happening around us in the here & now. ~ Sharon Salzberg

As we explore new ways of thinking, we need to be willing to investigate, experiment, take some risks with our attention, and stretch. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Seeking happiness is not the problem. The problem is that we often do not know where and how to find genuine happiness and so make the mistakes that cause suffering for ourselves & others. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Loving kindness is the spirit of friendship toward yourself and others. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Be open to the possibility that there are other paths available to you in relating to yourself and to another. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Everyone we interact with has the capacity to surprise us in an infinite number of ways. What can first open us up to each of our innate capacities for love is merely to recognize that. ~ Sharon Salzberg

As we hone the ability to let go of distraction, to begin again without rancor or judgment, we are deepening forgiveness and compassion for ourselves. And in life, we find we might make a mistake, and more easily begin again, or stray from our chosen course and begin again. ~ Sharon Salzberg

We have the power to improve our work lives immeasurably through awareness, compassion, patience & ingenuity. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Learning to treat ourselves lovingly may at first feel like a dangerous experiment. ~ Sharon Salzberg

There's a famous quotation from the time the Buddha learned of the deaths of two of his greatest disciples: "It's as if the sun and the moon have left the sky." From that quotation, I would guess that while the Buddha loved all beings everywhere, with no exclusion, he also had relationships that were special to him, and he felt their loss. ~ Sharon Salzberg

To remember non-attachment is to remember what freedom is all about. If we get attached, even to a beautiful state of being, we are caught, and ultimately we will suffer. We work to observe anything that comes our way, experience it while it is here, and be able to let go of it. ~ Sharon Salzberg

I call myself a meditation teacher rather than a spiritual teacher. ~ Sharon Salzberg

To forgive, we may need to open our minds to a fuller exploration of the context in which the events occurred, and feel compassion for the circumstances and everyone involved, starting with ourselves. ~ Sharon Salzberg

When we feel conflicted about a particular decision or action, our bodies often hold the answer - if we take the time to stop and tune in. ~ Sharon Salzberg

The breath is the first tool for opening the space between the story you tell yourself about love. ~ Sharon Salzberg

In those moments when we realize how much we cannot control, we can learn to let go. ~ Sharon Salzberg

[Meditation] trains us to be with a painful experience in the moment, without adding imagined distress and difficulty. If we look closely at it, the pain is bound to change, and that's as true of a headache as it is of a heartache: the discomfort oscillates; there are beats of rest between moments of unpleasantness. When we discover firsthand that pain isn't static, that it's a living, changing system, it doesn't seem as solid or insurmountable as it did at first. ~ Sharon Salzberg

In a situation of potential conflict, let compassion guide you. ~ Sharon Salzberg

As we look around, it's very clear that in this world people do outrageous things to one another all of the time. It's not that these qualities or actions make us bad people, but they bring tremendous suffering if we don't know how to work with them. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Compassion allows us to use our own pain and the pain of others as a vehicle for connection. This is a delicate and profound path. We may be adverse to seeing our own suffering because it tends to ignite a blaze of self-blame and regret. And we may be adverse to seeing suffering in others because we find it unbearable or distasteful, or we find it threatening to our own happiness. All of these possible reactions to the suffering in the word make us want to turn away from life. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Telling the story, acknowledging what has happened and how you feel, is often a necessary part of forgiveness. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Clinging to our ideas of perfection isolates us from life and is a barrier. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Sometimes people in abusive situations think they're responsible for the other person's happiness or that they're going to fix them and make them feel better. The practice of equanimity teaches that it's not all up to you to make someone else happy. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Cultivating loving kindness for ourselves is the foundation of real love for our friends and family, for new people we encounter in our daily lives, for all beings and for life itself. ~ Sharon Salzberg

A key barometer to help us weigh the rightness of our actions is self-respect. ~ Sharon Salzberg

If we turn away from our own pain, we may find ourselves projecting this aversion onto others, seeing them as somehow inadequate for being in a troubled situation. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Once in a while, you have to let your mind just go. ~ Sharon Salzberg

By engaging in a delusive quest for happiness, we bring only suffering upon ourselves. In our frantic search for something to quench our thirst, we overlook the water all around us and drive ourselves into exile from our own lives. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Our world opens up because we can let go. We can relinquish, and we are not afraid. We do not have to hold on. ~ Sharon Salzberg

The moment that we realize our attention has wandered is the magic moment of the practice, because that's the moment we have the chance to be really different. Instead of judging ourselves, and berating ourselves, and condemning ourselves, we can be gentle with ourselves. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Resilience Practicing Self-Care To Avoid Burnout The Illusion of Control Patience and Perspective Resilience In The Face ~ Sharon Salzberg

You may have heard the old story, usually attributed to a Native American elder, meant to illuminate the power of attention. A grandfather (occasionally it's a grandmother) imparting a life lesson to his grandson tells him, "I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is vengeful, fearful, envious, resentful, deceitful. The other wolf is loving, compassionate, generous, truthful, and serene." The grandson asks which wolf will win the fight. The grandfather answers, "The one I feed. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Abiding faith does not depend on borrowed concepts. Rather, it is the magnetic force of a bone-deep, lived understanding, one that draws us to realize our ideals, walk our talk,and act in accord with what we know to be true. ~ Sharon Salzberg

look at the world with quiet eyes. ~ Sharon Salzberg

With a clear intention and a willing spirit, sooner or later we experience the joy and freedom that arises when we recognize our common humanity with others and see that real love excludes no one. ~ Sharon Salzberg

A lack of real love for ourselves is one of the most constricting, painful conditions we can know. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Whatever language we use use to describe healthy relationships, when we're in them, we feel nourished by them, in body as well as mind. ~ Sharon Salzberg

The Buddha taught that we can feel pleasure fully, yet without craving or clinging, without defining it as our ultimate happiness. We can feel pain fully without condemning or hating it. And we can experience neutral events by being fully present, so that they are not just fill-in times until something more exciting comes along. ~ Sharon Salzberg

When we open our hearts to the breadth of our experiences, we learn to tune into our needs, unique perceptions, thoughts & feelings ~ Sharon Salzberg

The art of concentration is a continual letting go. We let go of what is inessential or distracting. We let go of a thought or a feeling, not because we are afraid of it or because we can't bear to acknowledge it as a part of our experience; but, because it is UNNECESSARY. ~ Sharon Salzberg

I need to start over. I can't just stay stuck in this place. This is a wonderful skill to bring to your life. ~ Sharon Salzberg

It is sometimes difficult to view compassion and loving kindness as the strengths they are. ~ Sharon Salzberg

How many pleasures escape our notice because we think we need big, dramatic sensations to feel alive? Mindfulness can allow us to experience fully the moment in front of us - what Thoreau calls 'the bloom of the present ' - and to wake up from neutral so we don't miss the small, rich moments that add up to a dimensional life. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Someone who has experienced trauma also has gifts to offer all of us - in their depth, their knowledge of our universal vulnerability, and their experience of the power of compassion. ~ Sharon Salzberg

When we develop our ability to love in one realm, we simultaneously nourish our ability in others, as long as we remain open to the flow of insight and compassion. ~ Sharon Salzberg

The personal power of being confident and clear about our actions and saying what we know without holding back is described in the texts as 'the lions roar. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Many strong emotions are actually intricate tapestries woven of various strands. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Not everyone wants to take up meditation, but most people can feel an alignment with values like mutual respect, insightful investigation, listening to one another.
Meditation is a way to help those values become real in day-to-day life, helping people to understand themselves more and more and have a way to not get lost in old patterns. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Pure generosity emerges when we give without the need for our offering to be received in a certain way. That's why the best kind of generosity comes from inner abundance, rather than from feeling deficient and hollow, starved for validation. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Loving kindness is a form of love that truly is an ability, and, as research scientists have show, it can be learned. It is the ability to take some risks with our awareness-to look at ourselves and others with kindness instead of reflexive criticism; to include in our concern those to whom we normally pay no attention; to care for ourselves unconditionally instead of thinking, "I will love myself as long as I never make a mistake." It is the ability to gather our attention and really listen to others, even those we've written off as not worth our time. It is the ability to see the humanity in people we don't know and the pain in people we find difficult. ~ Sharon Salzberg

What unites us as human beings is an urge for happiness which at heart is a yearning for union. ~ Sharon Salzberg

To sense which gifts to accept & which to leave behind is our path to discovering freedom. ~ Sharon Salzberg

As soon as we ask whether or not a story is true in the present moment, we empower ourselves to re-frame it. ~ Sharon Salzberg

You don't have to love yourself unconditionally before you can give or receive real love. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Sympathetic joy is a practice. It takes time and effort to free ourselves of the scarcity story that most of us have learned along the way, the idea that happiness is a competition, and that someone else is grabbing all the joy. ~ Sharon Salzberg

We can learn the art of fierce compassion - redefining strength, deconstructing isolation and renewing a sense of community, practicing letting go of rigid us-vs.-them thinking - while cultivating power and clarity in response to difficult situations. ~ Sharon Salzberg

He was amazed to find that the Karmapa, an eminent spiritual leader known the world over, treated him as though his visit were one of the most important things that had ever happened to the Karmapa in his life. This treatment did not manifest through grandiose gestures or ceremony, but rather through the simplicity and completeness of the Karmapa's presence, which offered my friend an experience of being completely loved. When I heard this story, I thought about how many conversations I have had during which my attention was halfhearted. I might be thinking about the next thing I had to do or the next person I had to talk to. How unfair that lack of attention now seems! The simple act of being completely present to another person is truly an act of love - no drama is required. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Robert Thurman, professor of Buddhist studies at Columbia University, often uses an amusing and powerful image to describe what living compassionately, with lovingkindness, could look like: 'Imagine you're on the New York City subway,' he begins, 'and these extraterrestrials come and zap the subway car so that all of you in it are going to be together...forever.' What do we do? If someone is hungry, we feed them. If someone is freaking out, we try to calm them down. We might not like everybody, or approve of them - but we're going to be together forever, so we need to get along, take care of one another, and acknowledge that our lives are linked. Isn't living on planet Earth like being in that subway car? We're all together forever; our lives are linked. ~ Sharon Salzberg

What's really transformative is our willingness to keep going, our openness to possibility, our patience, our effort, our humor, our growing self-knowledge, and the strength that we gain as we keep going. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Concepts such as loving kindness should never be used as weapons against our real feelings. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Seeking is endless. It never comes to a state of rest; it never ceases. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Identifying the source of our personal narratives helps us to release its negative aspects and re-frame it in ways that promote wholeness. ~ Sharon Salzberg

If we truly loved ourselves, we'd never harm another. That is a truly revolutionary, celebratory mode of self-care. ~ Sharon Salzberg

I've spent quite a bit of my life as a meditation teacher and writer commending the strengths of love and compassion. ~ Sharon Salzberg

The good news is that opportunities for love enter our lives unpredictably, whether or not we've perfected self-compassion or befriended our inner critic. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Meditation can be a refuge, but it is not a practice in which real life is ever excluded. The strength of mindfulness is that it enables us to hold difficult thoughts and feelings in a different way - with awareness, balance, and love ~ Sharon Salzberg

Instead, the Buddha replied, "I am going to send you back to the same forest, but I will provide you with the only protection you will need." This was the first teaching of metta meditation. The Buddha encouraged the monks not only to recite the metta phrases but to actually practice them. As these stories all seem to end so happily, so did this one - it is said that the monks went back and practiced metta, so that the tree spirits became quite moved by the beauty of the loving energy filling the forest, and resolved to care for and serve the monks in all ways. The inner meaning of the story is that a mind filled with fear can still be penetrated by the quality of lovingkindness. Moreover, a mind that is saturated by lovingkindness cannot be overcome by fear; even if fear should arise, it will not overpower such a mind. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Stealth Meditation If you start to feel overwhelmed, take a quick, centering moment - as short as following three breaths - to connect with a deeper sense of yourself. ~ Sharon Salzberg