Seinfeld Lupus Quotes

I love being a dad. I just love it. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Tape Seinfeld for me. ~ Harvey Korman

That's the most comfortable place for me. In the beginning, yes, I was nervous going on stage. I was not a natural performer. I really had to acquire that skill. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Every day when everybody would have lunch I would do TM [Transcendental Meditation] and then I would eat while I was working because I had missed lunch but that is how I survived the 9 years [of Seinfeld], it was that 20 minutes in the middle of the day would save me. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

When we developed the 'Seinfeld' show, we took a bet on Jerry Seinfeld, who was not a household name. But Jerry had a voice. He was appearing on 'Late Night', on 'The Tonight Show', had some commercials out there, his voice of observational comedy, looking at the world around him, that voice was really starting to come into its own. ~ Warren Littlefield

You know what I never get with the limo? The tinted windows. Is that so people don't see you? Yeah, what a better way not to have people notice you than taking a thirty foot Cadillac with a TV antenna and a uniformed driver. How discreet. Nobody cares who's in the limo. You see a limo go by, you know it's either some rich jerk or fifty prom kids with $1.75 each. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

I wouldn't call myself a standup in the presence of Jerry Seinfeld or Chris Rock, but I do my share of it and it has been and remains part of my activity and I like it. ~ Alan Thicke

If I want a long boring story with no point to it, I have my life. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

You look at shows like The Simpsons or Larry Sanders or Curb Your Enthusiasm or Seinfeld, they're really sophisticated shows that we all love back home. ~ Simon Pegg

I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

It's not a lie if you believe it. ~ George Costanza

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all the same; so we might as well dress them that way. That's why a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride and some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, created by women because they know that men are undependable. So in case the groom chickens out, everybody just takes one step over, and she marries the next guy. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

This is one of my big things of creative pursuits. You have your idea you want to do, but then you got to figure out what does this thing want to be? You got to let it lead you a little. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Funny is the world I live in. You're funny, I'm interested. You're not funny, I'm not interested. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say, "Oh, man, I can't wait till them calves are done so I can get ME a hit of that stuff." ~ Jerry Seinfeld

You want to do good things, and once you've done a couple of good things in a row, you think 'Well gee, let's not mess this up.' But I am lucky at this point that I have something I really love to do, and it completely holds my attention. I never feel frustrated by it. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

The art of seduction should be from within yourself, not from your outer appearance. If whoever you're doing this for doesn't realize that... then, honey, you're seducing the wrong person. ~ XxSkemoxx183

I don't wanna be a Pirate!!!! ~ Jerry Seinfeld

I looked exactly like the female version of George Costanza when I was in sixth grade… I insisted on dressing myself in monochromatic outfits. All my shirts had an animal performing an action on them. I had a pink sweater with penguins knitting to match my pink ribbed leggings. A hunter green shirt with dogs painting. ~ Olive B. Persimmon

In 1964, at the age of 39, Flannery O'Connor died from complications of lupus. She had lived with this autoimmune disease for 14 years, primarily confined to her mother's farm, Andalusia, in Milledgeville, Ga. ~ Floyd Skloot

I do a little thing about the way people shake the sweetener packet. You know, like they're all excited. I want to get all the granules down to one end. I love all these rituals. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Like I said about Seinfeld and Chris Rock, they're a great combination of brilliance and hard work. [But] there are people who are brilliant and don't work hard, and there are people who are brilliant and sabotage themselves ~ Sarah Silverman

As a comedian, I found this thing, this profession, that suits my mind and life force. To drop it to do something else? I just don't get that. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

[We do some TV talk. He loves Seinfeld, thinks Friends is a little gooey. ~ David Lipsky

the sultry darkness into which the students now followed him was visible and crimson, like the darkness of closed eyes on a summer's afternoon. The bulging flanks of row on receding row and tier above tier of bottles glinted with innumerable rubies, and among the rubies moved the dim red spectres of men and women with purple eyes and all the symptoms of lupus. ~ Aldous Huxley

There's different kinds of laughs. It's like a baseball lineup: this guy's your power hitter, this guy gets on base, this guy works out walks. If everybody does their job, we're gonna win. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

I'm not really in touch with those 'Seinfeld' lads except Jason Alexander. ~ Wayne Knight

The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

That is the answer to the question which is always being asked: why has
the revolutionary movement identified itself with materialism rather than with idealism? Because to
conquer God, to make Him a slave, amounts to abolishing the transcendence that kept the former masters
in power and to preparing, with the ascendancy of the new tyrants, the advent of the man-king. When
poverty is abolished, when the contradictions of history are resolved, "the real god, the human god, will
be the State." Then homo homini lupus becomes homo homini deus. This concept is at the root of the
contemporary world. ~ Albert Camus

No encounter, mouth open up ... that is how the drug businesses see the general public. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Stand-up is hard. Or to keep it at a certain level is hard: I have no writers but me. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person? ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Magnus called me and asked me to come and see you. He tried to reach you, but he couldn't. He wants you to put him in touch with the Praetor Lupus."
"Put him in touch with ... " Jordan shook his head. "You can't just call the Praetor. It's not like 1-800-WEREWOLF. ~ Cassandra Clare

Maybe if we lie down our brains will work. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

The basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Men, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world. Wherever women are, we have men looking into it. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Mom," say Malia Obame, "why dont you go get the photo albem of dad when he was a small boy, maybe it will jossel his memery."
"Good idea," Michele Obame say. "I guess thats why we call you the smart one," she go, and cast a look of disapoint at Sashe Obame. ~ Seinfeld 2000

You'll fold faster than Superman on laundry day ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Seinfeld told his writers that nine was his lucky number, so he just had to go out with his ninth season. ~ Jennifer Keishin Armstrong

If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

I was a big TV kid.When I was a kid, I would go home at 3:00 and watch TV straight through to the end of Letterman at 1:30 in the morning.I was obsessed with comics.And I would watch Jerry Seinfeld and Jay Leno and study them as if it was Tolstoy. ~ Judd Apatow