Schmidtys Golf Quotes

Anyone of my generation who trusts government probably has an I.Q. that would make a good golf score. ~ Rita Mae Brown

I thought marriage was tough. Golf's like going over Niagara Falls in a barrel! It's a psychological game that gets into your blood. ~ Sylvester Stallone

The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray. ~ Bruce Lansky

There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don't even understand how anyone would want that job at all. Although I would be able to play golf which I don't seem to have time now. ~ Ellen DeGeneres

Whether it's golf or writing, you have friends, and then you have 'friends' friends. Friends who are like family. I can count my close friends on two hands, which is good, I think. That's a lot. Some are at home in Spain, others are elsewhere, and some are in golf. ~ Sergio Garcia

I hated golf when we first started, but a big part of the training process was falling in love with this sport, so I went on tour with the UCLA Team. ~ Shia Labeouf

Concentrating for four hours will wear you out mentally. ~ Sergio Garcia

One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good. ~ George Archer

Jenny can still suck a golf ball through a garden hose and she guns my cock like a champ since she misplaced her false teeth! ~ Tara Sivec

It's hard not to play golf that's up to Jack Nicklaus standards when you are Jack Nicklaus. ~ Jack Nicklaus

President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner played golf this weekend. Obama's handicap is Joe Biden. ~ Jay Leno

Somebody once said that good conversation should be like a tennis match, with each player gracefully sending the ball back across the net; instead, most conversation is like a golf game, with each player stroking only his own ball, and waiting impatiently for the other to finish. ~ Sydney J. Harris

If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course ... Real estate values go 'boom!' ~ Adam Carolla

If I owned a Rembrandt and it had some dull colors, I don't think I'd go put reds and yellows in there just to brighten it up. I feel the same way about old golf courses. When you have a masterpiece, I sure wouldn't tinker with it. ~ Ray Floyd

With the sax, I learned technique well enough so that it feels like part of my body, and I just express myself. That's where I want to get in golf. ~ Kenny G

I guess that's why they call it Hell. ~ Jack Nicklaus

Whenever I dream of playing a perfect round of golf, which I rarely do more than a dozen times a day, I picture myself on one of my favorite British Open-style links, and in particular the great courses of the west of Ireland, whose holes flow through naturally bunkered dunesland never far from the sight or sound of surf. ~ Henry Beard

Sometimes, I play a round of extremely poor golf. ~ Bobby Keys

For me, 'choking' is just another term in golf. ~ Johnny Miller

Mrs. Heath wanted to sprinkle their minds with grass seed and watch the blades spike up through the earth, flat and predictable as a golf course. She wanted dependable students, well fed but not necessarily nourished. But he was not in that category. Admittedly, he could not count on his perceptions of letters and words, and he was not always accurate. He misused words most when he liked their sound. A sentence had a kind of music, and the word sounded right. The definitions were never as interesting as the sound they made coming out of your mouth. He rolled their flavors around on his tongue, tasting every nook and cranny, but he could not be trusted to deliver the right answer and she would never give him better than a C, no matter what genius work he produced. The way he saw it, his mind was a big unruly field of wildflowers. One day he would shower the world with blossoms. ~ Elizabeth Brundage

Look, there are no shortcuts in golf, and there are no shortcuts in life. You have to work for it. Dream big and keep your dreams for yourself. Because the dreams that you have are those things that separate you from others. If you give up your dream, you give up hope. And without hope, you are nothing. ~ Tiger Woods

The Scots say that Nature itself dictated that golf should be played by the seashore. Rather, the Scots saw in the eroded sea coasts a cheap battleground on which they could whip their fellow men in a game based on the Calvinist doctrine that man is meant to suffer here below and never more than when he goes out to enjoy himself. ~ Alistair Cooke

On either side of them the essence of honky tonk beach resort had now enclosed them: gas stations, fried clam stands, Dairy Treets, motels painted in feverish pastel colors, mini golf.

Larry was drawn two painful ways by these things. Part of him clamored at their sad and blatant ugliness and at the ugliness of the minds that had turned this section of a magnificent, savage coastline into one long highway amusement park for families in station wagons. But there was a more subtle, deeper part of him that whispered of the people who had filled these places and this road during other summers. Ladies in sunhats and shorts too tight for their large behinds. College boys in red and black striped rugby shirts. Girls in beach shifts and thong sandals. Small screaming children with ice cream spread over their faces. They were American people, and there was a kind of dirty, compelling romance about them whenever they were in groups never mind if the group was in an Aspen ski lodge or performing their prosaic/ arcane rites of summer along Route 1 in Maine. And now all these Americans were gone. ~ Stephen King

His driving is unbelievable. I don't go that far on my holidays. ~ Ian Baker-Finch

It is more satisfying to be a bad player at golf. The worse you play, the better you remember the occasional good shot. ~ Nubar Gulbenkian

I got no pride on the hole. It's a par-5 and I play it that way. A four is a birdie. ~ Lee Trevino

I'm not the only foreigner who took up golf while living in Jakarta. ~ Raymond Bonner

I've always tried to play golf with a golf club. I have a hard time driving with my rifle. I mean, 18 is really narrow ... I have no problem with the course, except for the tee shot on 18. ~ Jack Nicklaus

If the wind is in your face, you swing too hard just to get the ball through it; if the wind is at your back, you swing too hard just to see how far you can get the ball to go. ~ Henry Beard

You can win tournaments when you're mechanical, but golf is a game of emotion and adjustment. If you're not aware of what's happening to your mind and your body when you're playing, you'll never be able to be the very best you can be. ~ Jack Nicklaus

Addressing a golf ball would seem to be a simple matter; that is, to the uninitiated who cannot appreciate that a golf ball can hold more terrors than a spacious auditorium packed with people. ~ Bobby Jones

Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort. ~ Stephen Leacock

I feel like I'm back visiting an old grandmother. She's crotchety and eccentric, but also elegant, and anyone who doesn't fall in love with her has no imagination. ~ Tony Lema

Achievements on the golf course are not what matters, decency and honesty are what matter. ~ Tiger Woods

Sometimes I lie awake ay night, and I wonder, "is life like golf or is it more like baseball?" Then a voice comes to me out of the dark that says, "try shuffleboard. ~ Charles M. Schulz

It is nevertheless a game of considerable passion, either of the explosive type, or that which burns inwardly and sears the soul. ~ Bobby Jones

My main goal is to be the No. 1 American and the No. 1 player in the world. If an American is on top of the leader board every week, it will bring more people into the game of golf. ~ Paula Creamer

Few golfers are born with the natural talent for hitting the ball, but every player is blessed with the God-given ability to throw a club. ~ Henry Beard

There's a million dark little corners in Baytowne for you two to snuggle-"
"Ohmysweetgoodness, Chloe, stop!" I giggle and shiver at the same time and accidentally imagine walking around The Village in Baytowne Wharf with Galen. The Village is exactly that-a sleepy little village of tourist shops in the middle of a golf-course resort. During the daytime anyway. At night though...that's when the dance club wakes up and opens its doors to all the sunburned partiers roaming the cobblestoned walkways with their daiquiris. Galen would look great under the twinling lights, even with a shirt on...
Chloe smirks. "Uh-huh. Already thought of that, huh?"
"No!"
"Uh-huh. Then why are your cheeks as red as hot sauce?"
"Nuh-uh!" I laugh. She does, too.
"You want me to go ask him to meet us, then?"
I nod. "How old do you think he is?"
She shrugs. "Not creepy-old. Old enough for me to be jailboat, though. Lucky for him, you just turned eighteen...What the...did you just kick me?" She peers into the water, wswipes her hand over the surface as if clearing away something to see better. "Something just bumped me."
She cups her hands over her eyes and squints, leaving down so close that one good wave could slap her chin. The concentration on her face almost convinces me. Almost. But I grew up with Chloe-we've been next-door neighbors since the third grade. I've grown used to fake rubber snakes on my front porch, salt in the sugar dish, and Saran wrap spr ~ Anna Banks

What is Love compared with holing out before your opponent? ~ P.G. Wodehouse

If golfers can run around and crow when they make a birdie, I think it would be just as proper to lie down on the green and cry when you make a bogey. ~ J. C. Snead

My dad was a big believer of having a golf club that fit me. Always have a golf club that fits you, so you don't have to make any swing compensations for that particular golf club. ~ Tiger Woods

If you'd offered me a 69 at the start this morning I'd have been all over you! ~ Sam Torrance

Tempo is the glue that sticks all elements of the golf swing together. ~ Nick Faldo

Golf has been such a gift in my life, and I've enjoyed it so much and enjoyed lots of wonderful times on the golf course with my husband first, and then I got to play in all these celebrity tournaments. I'm often the only female celebrity in the tournament, hence the term 'Token Chick.' So it's been such a great, great gift in my life. ~ Cheryl Ladd