Sarcastic Jellyfish Quotes

Creative semantics is the key to contemporary government; it consists of talking in strange tongues lest the public learn the inevitable inconveniently early. ~ George Will

No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend. ~ Groucho Marx

Being the offspring of English teachers is a mixed blessing. When the film star says to you, on the air, 'It was a perfect script for she and I,' inside your head you hear, in the sarcastic voice of your late father, 'Perfect for she, eh? And perfect for I, also?' ~ Dick Cavett

Oh, I'm just a simple girl,' she says with a sarcastic smile, 'who just happens to complicate everything she touches. I'm like Midas, only whatever I touch turns to drama. ~ Andrea Cremer And David Levithan

It seemed that the closer the girls got to Mrs. Tifton, the louder Skye squished, like a monster jellyfish with feet. ~ Jeanne Birdsall

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! ~ Tom Lehrer

Italian to the core, he did not for an instant doubt that a man could be passionately devoted to the wife he betrayed with other women. ~ Donna Leon

The triumph of sugar over diabetes. ~ George Jean Nathan

He never said a foolish thing nor never did a wise one. ~ John Wilmot

Murderous thieves make their home here." She failed to keep the tremor from her voice.
"Absolutely," Jonas replied.
"Dangerous animals too."
"Without a doubt."
She slanted a look toward him. "Perfect place for you."
He repressed a snort. "Oh, such compliments, your highness. You're going to make me blush. ~ Morgan Rhodes

The perfection of rottenness. ~ William James

Writers don't get mad they get even in their novels. ~ Candace C. Bowen

You are free.You were born free and you can do whatever you want but between the limits ~ Raya Hatahet

I scoop a clattering cascade of green apple Jelly Bellys into the white paper bag and remember when we were seven. I got stung by a jellyfish. Tim cried because his mother, and mine, wouldn't let him pee on my leg, which he'd heard was an antidote to the sting. ~ Huntley Fitzpatrick

I got into therapy in the fifth grade because I said in a sarcastic way that I was going to kill myself, and they didn't get it then. Nothing's changed. ~ Fiona Apple

Take care with the words you speak, it's best to keep them sweet..... because you never know when you might have to eat them! ~ Karen Gibbs

A good motto to live by: 'Always try not to get killed. ~ George Carlin

If you don't understand it, it's art. ~ Ljupka Cvetanova

If you wish to be part of my life, the door is always open.The door remains open if you choose to leave..but don't just hover in the doorway with indecision because you're blocking the traffic! ~ Karen Gibbs

Research is an organized method for keeping you reasonably dissatisfied with what you have. ~ Charles Kettering

I'm a sarcastic person, and people don't get my humor sometimes. ~ Sarah Hyland

I'd chosen this spot. We'd tried to get out in the water once, but it was summer and people were everywhere. Even at night, there were bonfire parties and midnight surfers. We'd all snuck out and come here at three in the morning a few weeks ago, but nothing had worked right. It was too hard to concentrate and work to stay afloat offshore. Plus, there were jellyfish everywhere, and once Eli got stung, he refused to go back in. ~ Elizabeth Norris

Yeah, well you know what they say. Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. ~ Stacy Mantle

Really?"
"No. I'm being ironic. Or is it sarcastic? I can never remember."
"Irony's cleverer, so you're probably being sarcastic. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Still what? I made my voice grating and sarcastic. I was never like so many Indian boys, who'd look down quiet in their anger and say nothing. My mother had taught me different. ~ Louise Erdrich

My films often have a very strong strain of irony, or even sarcasm, which is definitely related to homosexual camp. But it is by no means straightforward: quite often I am sincere when I appear to be sarcastic, and I am sarcastic when I appear to be sincere. I also try to contradict myself at least once a day, which is a camp must. ~ Bruce LaBruce

Nonetheless, I can't help but be flattered that you noticed the latest addition to my collection," he said.
She rolled her eyes. "Because personal injuries are such a dignified thing to collect."
"Are all governesses so sarcastic? ~ Julia Quinn

In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy. ~ Mark Twain

Nietzsche's subtle, poetic, and entirely unsystemic attacks on academic style and thinking were predestined to be quoted out of context, and his pithy and often sarcastic observations could be put in the service of a wider assault on rationality itself. ~ Philipp Blom

The service in L.A. is the best. You don't get sarcastic, surly, fed-up waiters and waitresses like you do in England. They're good at their job and they're there for the customer. The only depressing thing is a lot of them have written more screenplays than me. ~ Ricky Gervais

This worked out perfectly for me in college, because what nineteen-year-old Virginia boy doesn't want a wide-hipped, sarcastic Greek girl with short hair that's permed on top? What's that you say? None of them want that? You are correct. ~ Tina Fey

If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back, text them when you're drunk. ~ Brooke Bida

I learned that politicians are not supposed to help people. They simply listen to people, nod their heads painfully, commiserate at proper intervals, promise to do all they can, and then do nothing. It was very instructive. I could probably have enlisted more action from a bleached jellyfish washed ashore in a seasonal storm. ~ Pat Conroy

Yeah, he's in pain except between the first and ninth innings ~ Dave Bristol

by. "And you want to have sex with me?" "No," she said in a sarcastic voice. "I thought I'd rip your shirt off and then force you onto the bed and make you watch while I fingered myself." Even ~ Jessica Clare

I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere. ~ Noel Coward

I can do only one thing at a time, but I can avoid doing many things simultaneously. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

I have some sarcastic sides of me. ~ Eden Sher

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. ~ David Letterman

I spent my first 4 years living in the tiny town of Snug, by the sea near Hobart. Curious about animals, I would pick up ants in our backyard and jellyfish on the beach. ~ Elizabeth Blackburn

Wes is Wes," Alastair said. "One in every family. I love him, but I think of him as a sarcastic pet. ~ John Scalzi

GGRRROOCCCCK...
Ian's knees buckled. The rock outcropping shook the ground, sending a spew of grayish dust that quickly billowed around them.
Shielding his eyes, he spotted Amy standing by the figurine, which was now moving toward her. She was in shock, her backpack on the ground by her feet.
"Get back!" he shouted.
Ian pulled Amy away and threw her to the ground, landing on top of her. Gravel showered over his back, embedding into his hair and landing on the ground like a burst of applause.
His second though was that the shirt would be ruined. And this was the shock of it-that his first thought had not been about the shirt. Or the coin. Or himself.
It had been about her.
But that was not part of the plan. She existed for a purpose. She was a tactic, a stepping stone. She was...
"Lovely," he said.
Amy was staring up at him, petrified, her eyelashes flecked with dust. Ian took her hand, which was knotted into a fist. "Y-y-you don't have to do that," she whispered.
"Do what?" Ian asked.
"Be sarcastic. Say things like 'lovely.' You saved my life. Th-thank you."
"My duty," he replied. He lowered his head and allowed his lips to brush hers. Just a bit. ~ Peter Lerangis

My brother and I both like sarcastic, insulting comedy, so that's a way we communicate. Somehow that's what we learned. My mom is not a really sarcastic person. She's a really sort of overly loving person, and my brother and I came out little cynical bastards. ~ Moshe Kasher

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. ~ George Carlin

Living under capitalism, I like learning to feel comfortable with activity that does not result in success - since non-success is the norm. Trying your best and making it is not the norm - it's propaganda. Of course I play with notions of hype, too ... The entire Comatonse website is a sarcastic hype-engine, sprawling forever, overwhelming the viewer with nothingness. ~ Terre Thaemlitz

You know, Mac,"Cadmus said still looking out the window. "We may have to work on the way we tell our story …apparently it's not amusing enough."

"I'll try to include a joke between 'he bled to death'and 'the city burned'."Machaon responded tersely. ~ Sulari Gentill

He is the same old sausage, fizzing and sputtering in his own grease. ~ Henry James

Good to know: Doctors can't cure you of being a beast. ~ Alex Flinn