Santa Claus Nightmare Before Christmas Quotes

A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus. ~ Herbert Hoover

There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. ~ Bob Phillips

The greatest thing is not to believe in Santa Claus; it is to be Santa Claus. ~ Pat Boone

The title of that great Christmas song was 'Boogie Woogie Santa Claus,' and no one ever heard of it. ~ Patti Page

Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide. ~ Milton Berle

Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus. ~ Francis Pharcellus Church

Like everyone in his right mind, I feared Santa Claus. ~ Annie Dillard

On Christmas. "Santa Claus represents God on assistance," said Clyde.
"Santa Claus is a negative-idealed god, the pagan god of material worship," Leon stated. "Christmas means the rebirth, regeneration. Some people have Christmas every day. The Christmas tree stands up and either the wife trims it or they trim it together with righteous-idealed sexual intercourse. Or the husband prays to God through his Christmas tree and trims his bodily Christmas tree. Christ-mast; the mast of Christ, the upstanding penis - that's what it means to me."
"Santa Claus is a good symbolization for Christmas," said Joseph. "Department stores, shopping, the coming of the New Year. Christmas means better business in the stores. ~ Milton Rokeach

I actually share her view and understand her frustration when any government attempts to ban secular symbols like Santa Claus or Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer or Christmas lights. ~ Steve Israel

A born terror, a rebel without a pause ...
Ain't never had a good Christmas, so who is Santa Claus? ~ Shyheim

Of course there is a Santa Claus. It's just that no single somebody could do all he has to do. So the Lord has spread the task among us all. That's why everybody is Santa Claus. I am. You are. ~ Truman Capote

The armored infantry was Santa Claus, the battle was out Christmas. What else for the elves to do on Christmas Eve but to let their hair down and drink a a little eggnog. ~ Hiroshi Sakurazaka

The real Santa Claus is at the mall. ~ Lemony Snicket

This Christmas, every Christmas, Santa Claus is everywhere and Jesus is nowhere to be found. ~ Paul Park

At the heart of every really good Christmas movie is the threat, I suppose, to Christmas. Something is wrong with Christmas, in all of these movies. In 'The Polar Express,' there's a kid that doesn't really believe, and that's the threat to Christmas. In 'Santa Claus: The Movie,' jealousy and greed are threatening to overrun his Christmas. ~ James McAvoy

Never deny the babies their Christmas! It is the shining seal set upon, a year of happiness. Let them believe in Santa Claus, or St. Nicholas; or Kriss Kringle, or whatever name the jolly Dutch saint bears in your religion. ~ Mary Virginia Terhune

God is Santa Claus for Grown-Ups. ~ Oliver Markus

For me growing up, Christmas time was always the most fantastic, exciting time of year, and you'd stay up until three in the morning. You'd hear the parents wrapping in the other room but you knew that also, maybe, they were in collusion with Santa Claus. ~ Chris Pine

Please be informed, there is a Santa Claus. ~ Jim Lovell

Postal officials say that before Christmas they receive tons of letters written to Santa Claus, but after Christmas how few letters of thanks are sent to him! From childhood onward, human beings seem to be characterized by thanklessness. ~ Robert E.Lee

Whenever you give someone a present or sing a holiday song, you're helping Santa Claus. To me, that's what Christmas is all about. Helping Santa Claus! ~ Louis Sachar

Not everyone who sells Christmas trees believes in Santa Claus. ~ Matt Barr

Let me assure you doubters―there really is a Santa Claus. I learned from working on this book that you don't need to go to the North Pole to find him. It's only necessary to look into your own heart. ~ Jeff Guinn

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins? ~ Rush Limbaugh

Reading is one of the best ways to bond with your child. Bond this Christmas with "It's Not About You, Mr. Santa Claus ~ Soraya Diase Coffelt

All the world is happy when Santa Claus comes. ~ Maud Lindsay

I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. Underneath the mistletoe last night. She didn't see me creep down the stairs to have a peep; She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep. Then, I saw mommy tickle Santa Claus Underneath his beard so snowy white; Oh, what a laugh it would have been. If daddy had only seen. mommy kissing Santa Claus, last night. ~ Jimmy Boyd

For the most part, people use God as Santa Claus. ~ Rickie Lee Jones

In addition to the smells of mince and pumpkin pies, the Sage and onions of turkey stuffing, another aroma floated in the air, the very essence of Santa Claus.
Years later, when I was grown up, I still remembered that marvelous fragrance and recognized it as Scotch whisky. ~ Lloyd Alexander

An ounce of goodness everyday,
Can soothe the heart in many ways,
An ounce of goodness "just because"
Don't wait until Christmas to be Santa Claus ~ Charmaine J Forde

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. ~ George Carlin

An entire gullible nation believed faithfully in Santa Claus. But Santa Claus was really the Gasman. ~ Gunter Grass

I know I'm 38 but I insist that santa claus exists and he raped my mother when I was 9. ~ Thom Yorke

It's called the Santa Claus effect; the holiday period is traditionally a strong cycle. ~ Andrew Barrett

After you stop believing in santa claus, the whole world just goes downhill ~ Tom Clancy

Everyone thinks of God as a man - you can't help it - Santa Claus was a man, therefore God has to be a man. ~ Patti Smith

So you say there is no Father Christmas, You say there is no Santa Claus Reindeer cannot fly, it's all a grown-up lie... ~ M.C. Frank

One of the things I had a hard time getting used to when I came to California in '78 was Santa Claus in shorts. ~ Dennis Franz

The reality of loving God is loving him like he's a Superhero who actually saved you from stuff rather than a Santa Claus who merely gave you some stuff. ~ Criss Jami

I have never tried to walk through a mall in the Christmas season dressed like a jolly old elf. You might as well dress up like a pork chop and walk into an alley full of starving dogs. ~ Thomm Quackenbush

I was probably nine or ten the first time I heard there was no Santa Claus. ~ Joe Nichols

Santa Claus is just a story," says Seth. "He's just the opening band to God. There is no Santa Claus. ~ Chuck Palahniuk

Ma!" she cried. "There is a Santa Claus, isn't there?"

"Of course there's a Santa Claus," said Ma.

"The older you are, the more you know about Santa Claus," she said. "You are so big now, you know he can't be just one man, don't you? You know he is everywhere on Christmas Eve. He is in the Big Woods, and in Indian Territory, and far away in York State, and here. He comes down all the chimneys at the same time. You know that, don't you?"

"Yes, Ma," said Mary and Laura.

"Well," said Ma. "Then you see--"

"I guess he is like angels," Mary said, slowly. And Laura could see that, just as well as Mary could.

Then Ma told them something else about Santa Claus. He was everywhere, and besides that, he was all the time.

Whenever anyone was unselfish, that was Santa Claus.

Christmas Eve was the time when everybody was unselfish. On that one night, Santa Claus was everywhere, because everybody, all together, stopped being selfish and wanted other people to be happy. And in the morning you saw what that had done.

"If everybody wanted everybody else to be happy all the time, then would it be Christmas all the time?" Laura asked, and Ma said, "Yes, Laura. ~ Laura Ingalls Wilder

Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven. ~ H.L. Mencken

You remember when you were a kid growing up, and believed in Santa Claus? There's not much difference between Santa Claus and me today, you know. We're two overweight lovable guys that kids really enjoy. ~ Bobby Knight

In the years since his murder, we have transformed King into a kind of innocuous black Santa Claus. ~ Timothy B. Tyson

Santa Claus has already been here and everything. Want to see what he brought for you?"
"Is it a big present?"
"Very big."
"With a big red bow on it? ~ Lara Adrian

Santa is like a queen bee. All the elves are his drones, who exist to feed him royal jelly, which I guess would be milk and cookies. If an elf escapes and eats royal cookies, it will turn into another Santa. That's what all those mall Santas are. They're trying to start their own festive colonies. ~ Thomm Quackenbush

With big folks, either people think you look mean or it's more of a jolly Santa Claus, 'Oh, he's just a pudgy little teddy bear pillow.' ~ The Notorious B.I.G.

I thought you were all-seeing."
All-knowing, not all-seeing!" he snapped. "I'm a God, not Santa Claus! ~ Kelley Armstrong

Do some good to the ghetto, Mr. Kris Kringle.
Come and stay awhile, kick it with God's Angels.
Take and acknowledge my wisdom and understand
That Santa Claus is a black man. ~ Keith Murray

I have always tried to use humor to "help ever" and "hurt never," for I find that to laugh is like swallowing a secret that Santa Claus farted. ~ David Cross

The government and its chiefs do not have the powers of the mythical Santa Claus. They cannot spend except by taking out of the pockets of some people for the benefit of others. ~ Ludwig Von Mises

I hear that in many places something has happened to Christmas; that it is changing from a time of merriment and carefree gaiety to a holiday which is filled with tedium; that many people dread the day and the obligation to give Christmas presents is a nightmare to weary, bored souls; that the children of enlightened parents no longer believe in Santa Claus; that all in all, the effort to be happy and have pleasure makes many honest hearts grow dark with despair instead of beaming with good will and cheerfulness. "A Plantation Christmas," 1934 ~ Julia Peterkin

When I was 21 years old, I had a job playing Santa Claus in a shopping centre in Sacramento. I was rail thin, so it's not like I was a traditional Santa Claus even then. I had a square stomach; that was the shape of the sofa cushion that I had stuffed into my pants. ~ Tom Hanks

I was Santa Claus in first year of primary school, our elementary's school play, because I had most panache, that was probably why. I was 5. ~ James Frecheville

I wanted to ask a thousand questions, but there was no one to ask. Besides I knew that people only told lies to children-lies about everything from soup to Santa Claus. ~ Marilyn Monroe

Do you remember when you found out there was no Santa Claus? I was so upset I didn't think I'd be able to do the show. ~ David Letterman

I believed in Santa Claus until I was 12! ~ Danielle De Niese

Basher shook his head. "No, we climbed in through a ground-floor guest bedroom all ninja-like. Snuck up the back stairs."
"Then you might be the cavalry," said Tom, "but I'm Santa Claus. Let's go downstairs and open some presents. ~ Jonathan Maberry

I like the way Chee kept God magical, sorta like Santa Claus when you're a kid. More priests should take this approach, because there is a frickin' reason why Santa Claus is more popular than Jesus nowadays. ~ Matthew Quick

You're saying Stevie's problems are because we taught him to believe in Santa Claus?" asked Step, incredulous. "On the contrary. I think Santa Claus is, by and large, quite beneficial, for when the child is finally allowed - or forced - to recognize the nonexistence of Santa Claus, then the child is able to go through the vital intellectual process of reconstructing reality in light of new evidence, complete with back-forming new stories to account for past events. This prepares the child for many other disillusionments and gives her vital and well-supported experience in maintaining her grip on reality independent of the stories told to her at any given time." "So Santa Claus is good," said Step. "Santa Claus is usually not maladaptive," said Dr. Weeks, ~ Orson Scott Card

If you look at Christmas movies, there are certain things in them that lend themselves to a 'Harold & Kumar' movie. In particular, the more out-of-this-world things like Santa Claus and flying reindeer. ~ Hayden Schlossberg

'The Nightmare Before Christmas' is my number one biggest influence artistically in every way. ~ Amy Lee

Prayer is not adult letters written to Santa Claus, and God is not some parent-like figure up in the sky who's going to take care of us. ~ John Shelby Spong

You believe in love, just as a child believes in Santa Claus or a fairy tale."
"What is love then, if not a fairy tale meant for adults? ~ Abhaidev

Oh Come All Ye Faithful "Occum" Claus stood a head taller than most of the other men at the party. Like most of his crazy family, he wore a Santa suit, only the coat of his outfit was missing, exposing suspenders and a sleeveless white tank top. The man was heavily muscled and looked angry; a mixture of holiday cheer and a Navy SEAL having a really bad day. He was the picture that went along with the headline "Christmas Nightmare" or "Crazed Santa Attacks Orphans with Fire Ax. ~ Elizabeth Gannon

MURRY: I believe in a lot of things. Santa Claus, magic, vampires, and even ghosts but I don't believe in luck. Good or bad. ~ Hillary DePiano

I remember being banned from other houses as a younger child during the winter holiday season; I was the only one who didn't believe in Santa Claus, and I was ruining everyone's Christmas. ~ Jami Attenberg

Harry Potter's like Santa Clause: something you can't see but wish was real so badly that you end up believing in it. ~ Emma Watson

Santa Claus is anyone who loves another and seeks to make them happy; who gives himself by thought or word or deed in every gift that he bestows; who shares his joys with those who are sad; whose hand is never closed against the needy; whose arm is ever outstretched to aid the week; whose sympathy is quick and genuine in time of trouble; who recognizes a comrade and brother in every man he meets upon life's common road; who lives his life throughout the entire year in the Christmas spirit. ~ Edwin Osgood Grover

Santa Claus has nothing to do with it," the latke said. "Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things."
"But different things can often blend together," said the pine tree. "Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals. ~ Lemony Snicket

I'm the only one who still believes in Santa Claus! ~ Edith Piaf

She thinks I'm a drug dealer. (Chris)
'The most "illegal" thing the boy had ever done was to walk past a Salvation Army Santa Claus, once, without dropping money into the kettle.' (Wulf) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

Santa Claus and all his little presents tend to get in the way of God's message."
"As can religion," Santa replied. ~ Brom

8. Santa Claus is concerned about the problem of Arctic ice. The ice is the spouse of the elves, and she is sick. She is the primary source of their magic, as the elves cannot be separated from the place where they live. For many years now, this is all they have asked for for Christmas: that the ice should come back ~ Catherynne M Valente

Growing up, Santa Claus would cover the presents with a white blanket, so when we'd wake up Christmas morning, we had to wait for my dad to do the big reveal of all the presents Santa brought. ~ Martina Mcbride

That story you heard? About how we were all created by a super-powerful dude named God who lives up in the sky? Total bullshit. The whole God thing is actually an ancient fairy tale that people have been telling one another for thousands of years. We made it all up. Like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.
Oh, and by the way... there's no Santa Claus or Easter Bunny. Also bullshit. Sorry, kid. Deal with it. ~ Ernest Cline

I stopped keeping an eye out for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve because, when I was five, my mother told me that Santa was a wicked pervert who would cut off my peepee with a pair of scissors ... if I didn't stop chattering about him, he would be certain to put me on his list and look me up.
Christmas was never the same after that, but at least I still have my peepee. ~ Dean Koontz

In our time we have less severe standards. We tell children about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy for reasons we think emotionally sound, but then disabuse them of these myths before they're grown. Why retract? Because their well-being as adults depends on them knowing the world as it really is. We worry, and for good reason, about adults who still believe in Santa Claus. ~ Carl Sagan

Later that day I went back to the old turf-house door and drew back the ivy. There between the stones was the dried-out bird's nest that was no longer in use because its owner was on her foreign holidays. I eased my letter to Santa out of my pocket and tucked it into the nest. I considered this the ideal resting place because the owner and Santa both belonged to foreign places and came here across the sky. There was the mystery of the unknown about the worlds they both came from; they belonged in the sky and my letter was destined to join them there when the time was right. ~ Alice Taylor

Wait until you meet the therapist.
That bad?
Let's just say i can't believe he's a real person.
Like Santa Claus?
More like if Santa Claus and Ron Jeremy had a child and then that child had a child with Richard Simmons.
So, like a leprechaun?
Yes, Otter, exactly like a leprechaun.
I'm going to tell him I believe in Santa Claus, just to see what happens.
I dare you. ~ T.J. Klune

It`s better to ask Santa Claus for a pair of slippers for Christmas rather than peace on earth. You might actually get it. ~ Terry Pratchett

More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good. ~ Linda Sunshine

Prayers never bring anything ... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas ~ W.C. Fields

George Martin looks like Santa Claus, but he's got a wonderfully disturbed mind. ~ Sean Bean

You can't trick The Universe - it's like Santa Claus that way. ~ Tracy McMillan

I hear Keene's going to be turning up as Santa Claus later, and that's got to be worth seeing." Jake parodied the corporal's voice: "So, little boy, give me your name, rank, number, and what present you want delivered by 0600 Christmas morning. And that's Santa sir to you. ~ A.J. Butcher

Nonsense, this is my home and I must defend it. It's time for Santa to get serious. ~ Michael Diack

How is Christmas regarded today? The legend of Santa Claus, the Christmas tree, the decorations of tinsel and mistletoe, and the giving of gifts all express to us the spirit of the day we celebrate; but the true spirit of Christmas lies much deeper than these. It is found in the life of the Savior, in the principles He taught, in His atoning sacrifice - which become our great heritage. ~ Howard W. Hunter

Adults want to talk about death way less than people my age do. Death is the Santa Claus of the adult world. Except Santa Claus in reverse. The guy who takes all the presents away. Big bag over the shoulder, climbing up the chimney carrying everything in a person's life, and taking off, eight-reindeered, from the roof. ~ Maria Dahvana Headley

At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me ! ~ Rodney Dangerfield

A true bubble is when something is overvalued and intensely believed. Education may be the only thing people still believe in in the United States. To question education is really dangerous. It is the absolute taboo. It's like telling the world there's no Santa Claus. ~ Peter Thiel

If SANTA CLAUS came down the chimney in a f**king jogging suit, you wouldn't even know it was him. ~ Wayne Coyne

We have confused God with Santa Claus. And we believe that prayer means making a list of everything you don't have but want and trying to persuade God you deserve it. Now I'm sorry, that's not God, that's Santa Claus. ~ Harold S. Kushner

When Tim Allen made The Santa Clause, I thought that was a delightful film. It took a modern sensibility but layered onto it a kind of sentiment. ~ Leonard Maltin

I put on weight like Santa Claus. I just get this belly that kind of extends out. ~ Christian Bale

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood. ~ Francis Pharcellus Church

I'm going to North Pole to help out Santa this year. ~ Jimmy Fallon

A few moments later Mom opened my door and peered in at me. "Logan Hansen is here to see you."
If it had been anyone else in the world, I would have told my mother to send him away. Santa Claus himself could have shown up to explain his whereabouts since my childhood, and I would have turned him out. ~ Janette Rallison