Roald Dahl Quotes

The President sucked in his breath sharply. He also sucked in a big fly that happened to be passing at the time. He choked. ~ Roald Dahl

Matilda said, Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy it's unbelievable ... ~ Roald Dahl

I have a passion for teaching kids to become readers, to become comfortable with a book, not daunted. Books shouldn't be daunting, they should be funny, exciting and wonderful; and learning to be a reader gives a terrific advantage. ~ Roald Dahl

My darling," she said at last, are you sure you don't mind being a mouse for the rest of your life?"
"I don't mind at all" I said.
It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like as long as somebody loves you. ~ Roald Dahl

And Matilda found, to her surprise, that life could be fun. She decided to have as much fun as possible. After all, she was a very smart kid. ~ Roald Dahl

If Google had existed when I was eleven, my search history would have looked something like this:

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free roald dahl books for kids ~ Lindy West

I'd rather be fried alive and eaten by Mexicans. ~ Roald Dahl

It was something black . . . Something tall and black . . . Something very tall and very black and very thin. ~ Roald Dahl

Me is the only one what won't be gobbled up because giants is never eating giants ~ Roald Dahl

Unless one was going to become a doctor, a lawyer, a scientist, an engineer or some other kind of professional person, I saw little point in wasting three or four years at Oxford or Cambridge, and I still hold this view. ~ Roald Dahl

They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnoti[z]ed by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keep them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink-
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
It rots the senses in the head!
It kills imagination dead!
It clogs and clutters up the mind!
It makes a child so dull and blind
He can no longer understand
A fantasy, a fairyland!
His brain becomes as soft as cheese!
His powers of thinking rust and freeze!
He cannot think-he only sees!
'All right' you'll cry. 'All right' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
They... used ... to... read! They'd read and read,
And read and read, and then proceed
To read some more, Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!...
Oh books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw ~ Roald Dahl

My father was a Norwegian who came from a small town near Oslo. He broke his arm at the elbow when he was 14, and they amputated it. ~ Roald Dahl

I is sometimes hearing faraway music coming from the stars in the sky.' A ~ Roald Dahl

Mary Welland was certainly lovely. She was gentle and kind. She remained my friend all the time I was in hospital. But there is a world of difference falling in love with a voice and remaining in love with a person you can see. From the moment I opened my eyes, Mary became a human instead of a dream and my passion evaporated. ~ Roald Dahl

Dreams is full of mystery and magic ... Do not try to understand them. ~ Roald Dahl

The adult is the enemy of the child because of the awful process of civilizing this thing that, when it is born, is an animal with no manners, no moral sense at all. ~ Roald Dahl

If my books can help children become readers, then I feel I have accomplished something important. ~ Roald Dahl

I think. as a child, there's something frightening about certain adults, particularly when you're in their clutches or power. That must be the reason why Roald Dahl creates such brilliant characters: He taps into something in the collective memory of people. ~ Bertie Carvel

When you're writing a book, with people in it as opposed to animals, it is no good having people who are ordinary, because they are not going to interest your readers at all. Every writer in the world has to use the characters that have something interesting about them, and this is even more true in children's books. ~ Roald Dahl

There's no earthly way of knowing Which direction they are going! There's no knowing where they're rowing, Or which way the river's flowing! Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing, And they're certainly not showing Any signs that they are slowing. . . . ~ Roald Dahl

I shot down some German planes and I got shot down myself, crashing in a burst of flames and crawling out, getting rescued by brave soldiers. ~ Roald Dahl

He turned and reached behind him for the chocolate bar, then he turned back again and handed it to Charlie. Charlie grabbed it and quickly tore off the wrapper and took an enormous bite. Then he took another ... and another ... and oh, the joy of being able to cram large pieces of something sweet and solid into one's mouth! The sheer blissful joy of being able to fill one's mouth with rich solid food!
'You look like you wanted that one, sonny,' the shopkeeper said pleasantly.
Charlie nodded, his mouth bulging with chocolate. ~ Roald Dahl

We've got a lovely telly with a twelve-inch screen and now you come asking for a book! You're getting spoiled, my girl! ~ Roald Dahl

Fiona has the same glacial beauty of an iceburg, but unlike the iceburg she has absolutely nothing below the surface. ~ Roald Dahl

She noticed immediately that they were now in an altogether paler country. The sun had disappeared above a film of vapour. The air was becoming cooler every minute. The land was flat and treeless and there seemed to be no colour in it at all. Every minute, the mist became thicker. The air became colder still and everything became paler and paler until soon there was nothing but grey and white all around them. They were in a country of swirling mists and ghostly vapours. There was some sort of grass underfoot but it was not green. It was ashy grey. ~ Roald Dahl

I doubt I would have written a line ... unless some minor tragedy had sort of twisted my mind out of the normal rut. ~ Roald Dahl

The little pig began to pray
But Wolfie blew his house away.
He shouted, "Bacon, Pork, and Ham!
Oh what a lucky wolf I am!"
And though he ate the pig quite fast,
He carefully kept the tail till last. ~ Roald Dahl

Men were foolish and were made only so that they should die, while mountains and rivers went on for ever and did not notice the passing of time. ~ Roald Dahl

This is Mr. Bucket. This is Mrs. Bucket. Mr. and Mrs. Bucket have a small boy whose name is Charlie Bucket. ~ Roald Dahl

You chose books. I chose looks. ~ Roald Dahl

Well, first of all," said the BFG, "human beans is not really believing in giants, is they? Human beans is not thinking we exist. ~ Roald Dahl

By sticking out his tongue and curling it sideways to explore the hairy jungle around his mouth, he was always able to find a tasty morsel here and there to nibble on. ~ Roald Dahl

Get up at once, you lazy little beast! ~ Roald Dahl

George didn't say a word. He felt quite trembly. He knew something tremendous had taken place that morning. For a few brief moments he had touched with the very tips of his fingers the edge of a magic world. ~ Roald Dahl

I think I have this thing where everybody has to think I'm the greatest.And if they aren't completely knocked out and dazzled and slightly intimidated by me, I don't feel good about myself. ~ Roald Dahl

Candy is dandy but liqueur is quicker. ~ Roald Dahl

Though my father was Norwegian, he always wrote his diaries in perfect English. ~ Roald Dahl

as much as the next man, ~ Roald Dahl

Some people when they have taken too much and have been driven beyond the point of endurance, simply crumble and give up. There are others, though they are not many, who will for some reason always be unconquerable. You meet them in time of war and also in time of peace. They have an indomitable spirit and nothing, neither pain nor torture nor threat of death, will cause them to give up. ~ Roald Dahl

The teeth of the dreadly viper is still sticking into me!' he yelled. 'I is feeling the teeth sticking into my anklet! ~ Roald Dahl

I grew up reading Stephen King, Peter Straub, Clive Barker, Robert McCammon, Isaac Asimov's nonfiction books, and Roald Dahl. ~ Nnedi Okorafor

I was thrilled. I had never met a famous writer before. I examined him closely as he sat in my office. What astonished me was that he looked so ordinary. There was nothing in the least unusual about him. His face, his conversation, his eyes behind the spectacles, even his clothes were all exceedingly normal. And yet here was a writer of stories who was famous the world over. His books had been read by millions of people. I expected sparks to be shooting out of his head, or at the very least, he should have been wearing a long green cloak and a floppy hat with a wide brim. But no. ~ Roald Dahl

I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. He taught me that if you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it at full speed ahead. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good. Hot is no good either. White hot and passionate is the only thing to be. ~ Roald Dahl

With frightening suddenness he now began ripping the pages out of the book in handfuls and throwing them in the waste-paper basket.
Matilda froze in horror. The father kept going. There seemed little doubt that the man felt some kind of jealousy. How dare she, he seemed to be saying with each rip of a page, how dare she enjoy reading books when he couldn't? How dare she? ~ Roald Dahl

If it's by an American it's certain to be filth. That's all they write about. ~ Roald Dahl

What I mean and what I say is two different things, the BFG announced rather grandly. ~ Roald Dahl

Come right up close to me and I will show you something wonderful. ~ Roald Dahl

Don't argue, my dear child, please don't argue!" cried Mr. Wonka. "It's such a waste of precious time! ~ Roald Dahl

I am totally convinced that most grown-ups have completely forgotten what is it like to be a child between the ages of five and then ... I can remember exactly what it was like. I am certain I can. ~ Roald Dahl

*Life is a series of thousands of tiny miracles. Notice them.
*No book ever ends when it's full of friends. ~ Roald Dahl

A life is made up of a great number of small incidents, and a small number of great ones. ~ Roald Dahl

And when I protested a bit more, I remember he said, 'My dear Lady Ponsonby, there's nothing immoral about this. Art is only immoral when practiced by amateurs. It's the same with medicine. You wouldn't refuse to undress before your doctor, would you? ~ Roald Dahl

There is little point in teaching anything backwards. The whole object of life, Headmistress, is to go forwards. ~ Roald Dahl

You mean to tell me,' I said, 'that every time I pleasure a young lady, I shoot into her two thousand million spermatozoa?' 'Absolutely.' 'All squiggling and squirming and thrashing about?' 'Of course.' 'No wonder it gives her a charge,' I said. A. ~ Roald Dahl

The maid screamed.
The Queen gasped.
Sophie waved. ~ Roald Dahl

I find that the only way to make my characters really interesting to children is to exaggerate all their good or bad qualities, and so if a person is nasty or bad or cruel, you make them very nasty, very bad, very cruel. If they are ugly, you make them extremely ugly. That, I think, is fun and makes an impact. ~ Roald Dahl

I is reading it hundreds of times,' the BFG said. 'And I is still reading it and teaching new words to myself and how to write them. It is the most scrumdiddlyumptious story.'
Sophie took the book out of his hand. 'Nicholas Nickleby,' she read aloud.
'By Dahl's Chickens,' the BFG said. ~ Roald Dahl

I can see you is not born last week. ~ Roald Dahl

I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. ~ Roald Dahl

I'm afraid men are not always quite as clever as they think they are. You will learn that when you get a bit older, my girl. ~ Roald Dahl

Don't gobblefunk around with words. ~ Roald Dahl

He resembled, to an extraordinary degree, an asparagus. ~ Roald Dahl

Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world. ~ Roald Dahl

The air became colder still and everything became paler ~ Roald Dahl

I cannot be helping it if I sometimes is saying things a little squiggly. I ~ Roald Dahl

There's three of them in nightshirts! Two old women and one ~ Roald Dahl

Do you wonder then that this man's behaviour used to puzzle me tremendously? He was an ordinary clergyman at that time as well as being Headmaster, and I would sit in the dim light of the school chapel and listen to him preaching about the Lamb of God and about Mercy and Forgiveness and all the rest of it and my young mind would become totally confused. I knew very well that only the night before this preacher had shown neither Forgiveness nor Mercy in flogging some small boy who had broken the rules.
So what was it all about? I used to ask myself.
Did they preach one thing and practise another, these men of God?
And if someone had told me at the time that this flogging clergyman was one day to become the Archbishop of Canterbury, I would never have believed it.
It was all this, I think, that made me begin to have doubts about religion and even about God. If this person, I kept telling myself, was one of God's chosen salesmen on earth, then there must be something very wrong about the whole business. ~ Roald Dahl

Whipped cream isn't whipped cream at all if it hasnt been whipped with whips, just like poached eggs isn't poached eggs unless it's been stolen in the dead of the night. ~ Roald Dahl

There is no place I know that compares to pure imagination. ~ Roald Dahl

What a fortunate fellow I am, I kept telling myself. Nobody has ever had such a lovely time as this! ~ Roald Dahl

You can write about anything for children as long as you've got humour. ~ Roald Dahl

I signaled the bus-driver and he stopped the bus for me right outside the cottage, and I flew down the steps of the bus straight into the arms of the waiting mother. ~ Roald Dahl

the world is a scary place for such a small child ~ Roald Dahl

There is a trait in the Jewish character that does provoke animosity, maybe it's a kind of lack of generosity towards non-Jews. I mean, there's always a reason why anti-anything crops up anywhere; even a stinker like Hitler didn't just pick on them for no reason. ~ Roald Dahl

Her face, I'm afraid, was neither a thing of beauty nor a joy for ever. She ~ Roald Dahl

When you're writing, it's rather like going on a very long walk ~ Roald Dahl

Good writing is essentially rewriting. ~ Roald Dahl

When you're writing a book, it's rather like going on a very long walk, across valleys and mountains and things, and you get the first view of what you see and you write it down. Then you walk a bit further, maybe up onto the top of a hill, and you see something else. Then you write that and you go on like that, day after day, getting different views of the same landscape really. The highest mountain on the walk is obviously the end of the book, because it's got to be the best view of all, when everything comes together and you can look back and see that everything you've done all ties up. But it's a very, very long, slow process. ~ Roald Dahl

If she's a lady, I'm a vernicious knid. (Eddie Albert in Willy Wanka and the Chocolate Factory) ~ Roald Dahl

The writer has to force himself to work. He has to make his own hours and if he doesn't go to his desk at all there is nobody to scold him. ~ Roald Dahl

We must hurry!' said Mr. Wonka. 'We have so much time and so little to do! No! Wait! Strike that! Reverse it! ~ Roald Dahl

I am the maker of music, the dreamer of dreams! ~ Roald Dahl

A newt, she decided, was a useful thing to have around. ~ Roald Dahl

Anyone can ask questions," said Mr. Wonka. "It's the answers that count. ~ Roald Dahl

Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" And at the same time, his long bony body rose up out of the bed and his bowl of soup went flying into the face of Grandma Josephine, and in one fantastic leap, this old fellow of ninety-six and a half, who hadn't been out of bed these last twenty years, jumped on to the floor and started doing a dance of victory in his pajamas. ~ Roald Dahl

I go down to my little hut, where it's tight and dark and warm, and within minutes I can go back to being six or seven or eight again. ~ Roald Dahl

No-one got rich being honest, the customers have to be diddled ~ Roald Dahl

The Bristol Channel was always my guide, and I was always able to draw an imaginary line from my bed to our house over in Wales. It was a great comfort. ~ Roald Dahl

For whipping cream, of course. How can you whip cream without whips? ~ Roald Dahl

Jack Kerouac died after throwing up blood. The malt liquor. Then that other guy who shot his wife in the head. Burroughs somebody. And I wonder about literary figures. They're all drunk and staggering and haunting people today, I bet, still muttering and ranting in disassociated lines.

Or, I'm wondering about a middle ground with wooly blankets and nubbly cardigans and nobody shot in the head. Where yes, you are uniquely mad. But functionally uniquely mad. Endlessly absorbed but in the mildly scattered kind of way instead of in the crap-I-shot-my-wife-in-the-head kind of way. Unable to dedicate to another human being only in occasional fits.

Roald Dahl says you're a fool to become a writer, your only compensation being absolute freedom but then I'm not so sure about that. He bought a wagon from a Romanian gypsy and his kids played in it and I think he had more in the way of compensation than absolute freedom. He's got a point, though, even if he reached a point where his own point no longer applied to him. He had no master except his own soul, and that, he was sure, was why he did it. ~ Kate Inglis

let your love out ~ Roald Dahl

Rainbow drops - suck them and you can spit in six different colours. ~ Roald Dahl

We all have our moments of brilliance and glory, and this was mine. ~ Roald Dahl

The act of copulation is like that of picking the nose. It's all right to be doing it yourself but it is a singularly unattractive spectacle for the onlooker. ~ Roald Dahl

A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom. He has no master except his own soul, and that, I am sure, is why he does it ~ Roald Dahl

The more risks you allow your children to make, the better they learn to look after themselves. ~ Roald Dahl

This allowed her two glorious hours sitting quietly by herself in a cozy corner, devouring one book after another. When she had read every single children's book in the place, she started wandering round in search of something else. ~ Roald Dahl

When I was 2, we moved into an imposing country mansion 8 miles west of Cardiff, Wales. ~ Roald Dahl

When writing about oneself, one must strive to be truthful. Truth is more important than modesty. ~ Roald Dahl

You ignorant little slug!" the Trunchbull bellowed. "You witless weed! You empty-headed hamster! You stupid glob of glue! ~ Roald Dahl