Right Ho Jeeves Quotes

She looked like a tomato struggling for self-expression. ~ P.G. Wodehouse

The fact that pigs were abroad in the night seemed to bring home to me the perilous nature of my enterprise. ~ P.G. Wodehouse

I don't know if I've ever derived such an immediate sense of calm and well-being from any book as I did from 'Right Ho, Jeeves.' It was like I was Pac-Man and the book was a power-up. ~ Lev Grossman

A chap's bedroom – you can't get way from it – is his castle, and he has every right to look askance if gargoyles come glaring in at him. ~ P.G. Wodehouse

This "sir, yes sir" business, which would probably sound like horseshit to any civilian in his right mind, makes sense to Shaftoe and to the officers in a deep and important way. Like a lot of others, Shaftoe had trouble with military etiquette at first. He soaked up quite a bit of it growing up in a military family, but living the life was a different matter. Having now experienced all the phases of military existence except for the terminal ones (violent death, court-martial, retirement), he has come to understand the culture for what it is: a system of etiquette within which it becomes possible for groups of men to live together for years, travel to the ends of the earth, and do all kinds of incredibly weird shit without killing each other or completely losing their minds in the process. The extreme formality with which he addresses these officers carries an important subtext: your problem, sir, is deciding what you want me to do, and my problem, sir, is doing it. My gung-ho posture says that once you give the order I'm not going to bother you with any of the details--and your half of the bargain is you had better stay on your side of the line, sir, and not bother me with any of the chickenshit politics that you have to deal with for a living. The implied responsibility placed upon the officer's shoulders by the subordinate's unhesitating willingness to follow orders is a withering burden to any officer with half a brain, and Shaftoe has more than once seen seasoned noncom ~ Neal Stephenson

Morning, Bill,' said Lord Tidmouth agreeably.
'Go to hell!' said Bill.
'Right-ho,' said his lordship. ~ P.G. Wodehouse

Am taking legal advice to ascertain whether strangling an idiot nephew counts as murder. If it doesn't look out for yourself. ~ P.G. Wodehouse

On breezy days when the wind was not too light and not too strong, Will and Pamela and the children flew their homemade kites in Peaceful Park until they were specks in the blue sky. When the wind was just right, the kites felt so strong and safe up there that Honor imagined nothing could budge them.
'Ho bum, boasted Will, 'I could stand here all day and this kite would hold. It's like fishing.'
'Fishing in reverse,' said Pamela. 'Sky fishing.'
'What do you fish for in the air?' asked Honor.
Pamela and Will started laughing. 'Oh, planets,' said Will. 'The occasional comet. An asteroid or two.'
Honor held one kite string, and Will held the other. Pamela held Quintilian. On those afternoons, four did not seem like the wrong number for a family. Four seemed just right. ~ Allegra Goodman

Forgiveness is all about taking care of you, not the person you need to forgive. It's about putting your desire to feel good before your desire to be right. It's about taking responsibility for your own happiness instead of pretending it's in somebody else's hands. It's about owning your power by giving all your anger, resentment, and hurt the heave-ho. ~ Jen Sincero

Beside him Mr. Harris folded his morning newspaper and held it out to Claude.

"Seen this yet?"

"No."

"Don't read it," Mr. Harris said, folding the paper once more and sliding it under his rear. "It will only upset you, son."

"It's a wicked paper... " Claude agreed, but Mr. Harris was overspeaking him.

"It's the big black words that do it. The little grey ones don't matter very much, they're just fill-ins they take everyday from the wires. They concentrate their poison in the big black words, where it will radiate.

Of course if you read the little stories too you've got sure proof that every word they wrote above, themselves, was a fat black lie, but by then you've absorbed a thousand greyer ones, and where and how to check on those? This way the mind deteriorates. The best way you can save yourself is not to read it, son."

"No, I... "

"That's right, if you're not careful," Mr. Harris went on, blue-eyed, red-faced, "you find yourself pretty soon hating everyone but God, the Babe, and a few dead senators. That's no fun. Men aren't so bad as that."

"No."

"That's right, you begin to worry about anyone who opens his mouth except to say ho it looks like rain, let's bowl. Otherwise you wonder what the hell he's trying to prove, or undermine. If he asks what time it is, you wonder what terrible thing is scheduled to happen, where it will happen, when. You can't even stand to ~ Douglas Woolf

I want to be a starter again, I would really enjoy playing for the Phillies again, but my first consideration in making my decision is finding a circumstance that is right for me. I want to play for the Phillies again, but I also wouldn't mind joining a team I've never played with before. ~ Chan Ho Park

It was Ebon's turn now, and he stepped forward and gave the pegasus' great clarion neigh
far more like a trumpet than a horse's neigh; hollow bones are wonderful for resonance
and swept his wings forward to touch, or almost touch, his alula-hands to her temples before he gave his own speech, in the half-humming, half-whuffling syllables the pegasi made when they spoke aloud, only she could understand what he was saying in silent speech. The words were just as stiff and silly (she was rather relieved to discover) as the ones she'd had to say.
He stopped whuffling and added,I was going to say, hee ho, ho hee, your wings are too short, you'll never catch me, but my dad said he was going to be listening and I'd better get it right. I guess since you can hear too it's good that I did. ~ Robin McKinley

The marker slants, flowerless, day's almost done,
I stand above my father's grave with rage,
often, often before
I've made this awful pilgrimage to one
who cannot visit me, who tore his page
out: I come back for more,
I spit upon this dreadful banker's grave
who shot his heart out in a Florida dawn
O ho alas alas
When will indifference come, I moan & rave
I'd like to scrabble till I got right down
away down under the grass
and ax the casket open ha to see
just how he's taking it, which he sought so hard
we'll tear apart
the mouldering grave clothes ha then Henry
will heft the ax once more, his final card,
and fell it on the start. ~ John Berryman

The classic hustle is still famous, even today, for the cold purity of its execution: bring opium from India, introduce it into China00howdy Fong, this here's opium, opium, this is Fong - ah, so, me eatee! - no-ho-ho, Fong, you smokee, smokee, see? pretty soon Fong's coming back for more and more, so you create an inelastic demand for that shit, get China to make it illegal, then sucker China into a couple-three disastrous wars over the right of your merchants to sell opium, which by now you are describing as sacred. You win, China loses. Fantastic. ~ Thomas Pynchon

What you want may not come in the form you expected. It may be right under your nose at this moment. ~ Jennifer Ho-Dougatz

The van stops on the coast road.

Ho-ho, Cornelius says.

Cornelius? Please. Let's just get to the fucking island.

Patience a small while.

Cornelius kills the engine. He climbs from the van. The wind comes harder now from the sea. He gestures for John to follow; he does. They walk the scalp of a hill together, descending.

You're not to be afraid, John.

They approach a great fall-away to the sea; far below, it flashes its green teeth, the ever-welcoming sea.

Right, Cornelius says.

He steps up to the edge; the fall is sheer - it's a great distance to fall and to a certain ending there.

Come on, John.

He steps with Cornelius to the edge of the sheer fall; the wind pulses hard against them.

Lean into it, Cornelius says. Like so.

He does and he is held there.

Fucking hell. . .

Be fierce, John.

The wind comes hard and Cornelius leans in closer again to its great force; he is held there.

Cornelius?

Now, John.

John tips his toes up close to the edge and closer again to the sheer fall and closer.

Cornelius?

Go on.

He leans over the edge and the wind holds him perfectly there.

Do you see, John?

Maybe.

Do you see the trick of it, John?

I think so.

No fear. ~ Kevin Barry

Oh, ho!" his brother cried, clasping him close in a fierce embrace. "Did you think you'd escape without saying hello?" Then, for Grey's ears alone, "I'm so frigging proud of you I could just piss."
"Please don't." Grey gently pushed him away, meeting the other man's bright gaze with a lump in his throat. "But thank you."
His mother hugged him as well, so overcome that she began to weep. Grey didn't know what to do with her, but Archer gave her a handkerchief and Rose discreetly took her aside so she could compose herself.
That left Grey with Bronte, who looked as though she was on the verge of tears as well, her blue eyes watery behind her mask.
"You," he said firmly. "Let you and I get one thing straight right now. I don't care if you've already asked Archer. I don't care what your groom's family wants, or who you think you're trying to protect. I will give you away, or there will be no wedding. Is that understood?"
The cupid's bow of his sister's mouth trembled and for a moment he thought he had been wrong about her and now she hated him, but then she threw herself into his arms, laughing.
"I love you," she whispered against his ear before kissing his cheek.
She was gone before Grey could even hug her back, which was probably just as well given the burning in his eyes.
"We'll be all over the scandal rags tomorrow," Archer crowed with a bit too much enthusiasm.
"No doubt," Grey agreed. "I'm afraid I have provided enough entertainm ~ Kathryn Smith

Well, well, well," Santa said once the elf had retreated. "Come and sit on my lap, little boy."

This Santa's beard was real, and so was his hair. He wasn't fucking around.

"I'm not really a little boy," I pointed out.

"Get on my lap, then, big boy."

I walked up to him. There wasn't much lap under his belly. And even though he tried to disguise it, as I went up there, I swear he adjusted
his crotch.

"Ho ho ho!" he chortled.

I sat gingerly on his knee, like it was a subway seat with gum on it.

"Have you been a good little boy this year?" he asked.

I didn't feel that I was the right person to determine my own goodness or badness, but in the interest of speeding along this encounter, I said yes.

He actually wobbled with joy.

"Good! Good! Then what can I bring you this Christmas?"

I thought it was obvious.

"A message from Lily," I said. "That's what I want for Christmas. But I want it right now."

"So impatient!" Santa lowered his voice and whispered in my ear. "But Santa does have a little something for you" - he shifted a little in
his seat - "right under his coat. If you want to have your present, you'll have to rub Santa's belly."

"What?" I asked.

He gestured with his eyes down to his stomach. "Go ahead."

I looked closely and saw the faint outline of an envelope beneath his red velvet coat.
Rachel Cohn

Shit, a hillbilly ho' MMA reality show? It could've aired right after Buckwild. All you'd need is an above ground swimming pool - one of those fancy ones from Sears with the wrap around decking - and you'd have the perfect cracker coliseum. Who wouldn't pay to see a couple spitting-mad, big-haired Daisy-Dukes kick the shit out of each other while some good-old-boys drank themselves stupid cheering them on? ~ E.V. Iverson

Sire," Oliver said as he helped Petunia to her feet, "I'd like to marry Petunia.
"Of course you would," retorted the King Gregor. "But not right now! we just got those two taken care of." He pointed to the twins who were still trying to play Christian's odd game. "And weddings are expensive! ~ Jessica Day George

Today the big lie of the Koch-sponsored radical right is that society can be split between makers and takers, justifying on the part of the makers a Manichaean struggle to disarm and defeat those who would take from them. ~ Nancy MacLean

Maybe he was real. Maybe I'd made him up. Either way, he didn't think I needed him anymore. Maybe he was right. ~ Francesca Lia Block

You know I do, aye? Love you right, Chessiebomb. ~ Stacia Kane

Directing her was like directing Lassie. You need 14 takes to get each one of them right. ~ Otto Preminger

In the secular world, women are also credited with having a sense of good that is intrinsically female, a sense of good that men do not have. This is a frequent feature of contemporary environmentalist or antimilitarist movements. Women are seen to have an inborn commitment to both clean air and peace, a moral nature that abhors pollution and murder. Being good or moral is viewed as a particular biological capacity of women and as a result women are the natural guardians of morality: a moral vanguard as it were. Organizers use this appeal to women all the time. Motherhood is especially invoked as biological proof that women have a special relationship to life, a special sensitivity to its meaning, a special, intuitive knowledge of what is right. Any political group can appropriate the special moral sensibility of women to its own ends: most groups do, usually in place of offering substantive relief to women with respect to sexism in the group itself. Women all along the male-defined political spectrum give special credence to this view of a female biological nature that is morally good. ~ Andrea Dworkin

Art is sacred.
Punk rock is freedom.
Expression and right to express is vital.
Anyone can be artistic. ~ Kurt Cobain

Too many of us are afraid to slow down because then we would have to take a good look at how we're using our time and what we're becoming. We don't want to listen to that other voice deep inside, telling us something is not right. ~ Dennis Rainey

A strange night, he thought. Somewhere now there is shooting and men are being hunted and imprisoned and tortured and murdered, some corner of a peaceful world is being trampled upon, and one knows it, helplessly, and life buzzes on in the bright bistros of the city, no one cares, and people go calmly to sleep, and I am sitting here with a woman between pale chrysanthemums and a bottle of calvados, and the shadow of love rises, trembling, lonesome, strange and sad, it too an exile from the safe gardens of the past, shy and wild and quick as if it had no right ~ Erich Maria Remarque

Using the right colour is the most important thing. When sculpting is well done, it just looks like you have great brows. ~ Gigi Hadid

Somewhere along the way, the idea, which I think was initially to get some fair transaction between people, went out the window. And what came in was, the most you can get and the least you can give. That's why cars are the way they are nowadays. It's just an erosion of all the things that were true and right about the original idea. ~ Bruce Springsteen

One day, Methodist circuit rider Jesse Lee downtime self accosted by two lawyers:
"You are a preacher, sir?"
"Yes, I generally pass for one," replied Lee.
"You preach very often, I suppose?"
"Generally every day; frequently twice a day, or more."
"How do you find time to study, when you preach so often?"
"I study when writing," said Lee. "And read when resting," he added, maintaining a smile, though he could see now where they were heading.
The first lawyer feigned incredulity. "But do you not write your sermons?"
"No, not very often, at least."
"Do you not often make mistakes preaching extemporaneously?" the second lawyer queried.
Lee nodded. "I do, sometimes."
"Well, do you correct them?"
"That depends on the character of the mistake. I was preaching the other day, and I went to quote the text, 'All liars shall have their part in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone,' and by mistake I said, 'All lawyers shall have their part--'"
The first lawyer interrupted him. "What did you do with that? Did you correct it?"
"Oh, no, it was so nearly true I didn't bother."
"Humph!" said one of the lawyers looking at the other, "I don't know whether you are more a knave than a fool!"
Neither," replied Lee smiling, and looking at the one on his right and the one on his left, "I'd say I was just between the two. ~ Peter Marshall

"I'm not trying to lead you on. Or him, either."
Jeb's frown deepens. "I know you're not playing games. I also know you're not the kind of girl who kisses a guy for no reason."
"You're right. The first time was to get my wish back. And the second ... it was supposed to be a peck on the cheek. He changed it to something more."
"Oh, come on!" Jeb shouts, causing me to flinch. "This is what makes me crazy. That you can't admit it to me or yourself. You kissed him because you have feelings for him." ~ A.G. Howard

With each impact you tell me that my body belongs to you; that I am
yours to use, yours to punish and yours to screw. Your words are almost as
powerful as your hand. They leave me feeling breathless and desperate for
your cock. You are working me into the usual frenzy of slutty desire that
we have both come to love. If I was permitted I would tell you how much I
love you right now and how much I need this. But it's not my words which
are important at the moment. Instead I demonstrate my devotion to you in
my complete submission to your desire. ~ Felicity Brandon

('I'm going to be more assertive, if that's all right with you', as Erma Bombeck says), and ~ Stephen King

Ah, to be young ... and be right about the ways of the world by default. ~ David Mitchell

She took a shaky swallow of wine. "She didn't know me. When we were face-to-face again, and she looked right at me. She didn't know me."
"Did that hurt you?"
"No. I don't know. I couldn't think. I just know that for a minute I was nothing again. Like they - she - took everything from me. Roarke, my badge, my life, myself. For a minute it was just gone because she was there. I can't be nothing again."
"You could never be nothing." Roarke spoke in a voice of barely controlled rage. "You're what you made yourself against the impossible. Even when you were helpless they couldn't destroy what you are. You're a miracle. You're my miracle, and you'll never be anything else. ~ J.D. Robb

History shows that there is no more potent engine for reform than the passion of voters who feel betrayed by the politicians they hoped would do the right thing. ~ Michael Moritz

The key to being a wonderful writer is not to write. You just get out of the way. Leave room for God to walk in the room. And when I write something that I know is right, I get on my knees and say 'thank you.' ~ Michael Jackson

I really believe that at the start of the journey the condemned man, sitting in the tumbril, must feel that an infinite life still stretches ahead of him. However, the houses roll by one by one, the tumbril rumbles on - oh, that's nothing, it's still a long way to the turning into the next street, and he continues to look keenly to the left and the right at the thousands of indifferently curious people with their eyes riveted upon him, and he continues vaguely to imagine that, like all of them, he is still a human being. But here's the turning into the next street! Never mind though, never mind, still a whole street to go. And no matter how many houses he passes, he still thinks: "There are still a lot of houses." And so to the very end, right up until they reach the town square. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Her hands moved to his chest, stroking over his shoulders. "So I've made my big, dramatic scene. Isn't this the part where you kiss me, Lieutenant?"

"I can't kiss you right now."

"Why not?"

His chest rose and fell with a shudder underneath her hands. "I'm looking at you sitting there all puffy-eyed from crying over me. If I kiss you right now, I'll never stop."

Her heart pounded a wild beat. "Just one little kiss?"

Derek groaned. "God, this is how it's going to be with you, isn't it? When I can't make love to you properly, you'll beg me for it? I think you're trying to kill me. ~ Tessa Bailey