Ricky Gervais Monologue Quotes

Being on the edge isn't as safe, but the view is better ~ Ricky Gervais

Hotel bars are pretty good. No one bothers me there. Restaurants are safe. People are quite respectful when you're eating. But what I never do now is go to a busy bar on the weekend, or after 8 o'clock at night. That's the danger zone. Also being trapped. Never go on the Metro, or a bus. ~ Ricky Gervais

It breaks your heart when you throw something away, but it's what left that counts. It's like worrying about the bits of rock you have knocked off in order to make a beautiful statue. You've wasted half the rock, yeah, but it's the Venus di Milo! ~ Ricky Gervais

Same sex marriage isn't gay privilege, it's equal rights. Privilege would be something like gay people not paying taxes. Like churches don't. ~ Ricky Gervais

You do your own thing and you see if you survive. ~ Ricky Gervais

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth ... Then he said, "Let there be light." Which means he made the entire universe in the dark! How fucking good is that? He's brilliant. ~ Ricky Gervais

She said, 'I'm your biggest fan,' and I said, 'Who are you?' She said, 'Paris Hilton.' ~ Ricky Gervais

Life is so interesting ... just every day life. I remember someone once saying: "Drama is real life with the boring bits taken out." ~ Ricky Gervais

A world without any lies at all is not a good world, because it's artless and because there are no white lies, no flattery. ~ Ricky Gervais

I've got the attention span of a child. ~ Ricky Gervais

I was okay with singing. I always sneak a song into everything I do. Dancing, a little awkward. Little embarrassed about that. I don't move well. But I was with a frog, so it doesn't matter. I'll do anything with a frog, that's my motto. He's great with tap-dancing or flap-dancing on my head. So no one's going to be looking at me when we're doing that dance. They're going to be saying, 'There's a frog dancing'. ~ Ricky Gervais

You won't burn in hell. But be nice anyway. ~ Ricky Gervais

I don't feel any pressure at all because I don't care. That's an occupational hazard ... but if you're doing anything of any worth, and not doing something that's safe and anodyne and trying to be populist and a national treasure, then you've got to assume that as many people hate what you do - and you - as like what you do and like you. ~ Ricky Gervais

I've never done anything for the common consensus. I do things to please me. If you are happy with something yourself, you become bulletproof. ~ Ricky Gervais

Comedy scares me a lot. I feel like it's way harder than drama. I think my safety net is definitely drama, and I would love to kind of be able to be able to push into the comedy world and do something kind of like a Christopher Guest kind of style show. That, to me, is my kind of comedy. Like, Ricky Gervais comedy. That's my kind of thing. ~ Tatiana Maslany

I think the social faux par is probably what most people fear ... more people fear public speaking than death and that's because we don't want to make a fool of ourselves. It's fundamental. ~ Ricky Gervais

I don't think a comedian should even be concerned with being cool or sexy, as soon as you do, you aren't a comedian any more. Looks are still the most important thing for women when it comes to meeting a partner. And that's fair enough, but a sense of humour is really important too. For starters, it's a great indicator of whether you are going to get on. If the first time you go on a date you don't find each other funny, there's a fundamental problem. ~ Ricky Gervais

I see myself much more as a writer/director or at least an aspiring writer/director - not necessarily in film. ~ Ricky Gervais

It annoys me that the burden of proof is on us. It should be "You came up with the idea. Why do you believe it?" I could tell you I've got superpowers. But I can't go up to people saying "Prove I can't fly." They'd go: "What do you mean 'Prove you can't fly'? Prove you can!" ~ Ricky Gervais

Never fear the truth. No bad can come of discussing a true subject. No bad at all. ~ Ricky Gervais

I love how people walk around with crucifixes, skullcaps, pointy hats, funny beards and then say 'you should keep your atheism to yourself.' ~ Ricky Gervais

I had great memories of growing up in a working class estate. I remember it being sunny all the time. So we're putting that on screen. It's not people wallowing in degradation. ~ Ricky Gervais

I'm a pretty big Ricky Gervais fan. ~ Craig Roberts

Mondays are fine. It's your life that sucks. ~ Ricky Gervais

The terrible thing in England is if you interview a thousand people, five hundred of them will talk like they're going into a Guy Ritchie movie and the other five hundred will be Mr. Darcy. So we had to find cool, working class kids with no profile who could be John Travolta and James Dean and people like that. ~ Ricky Gervais

I'm basically a 'do unto others' type person. I don't have any religious feelings because I'm an atheist, but I live my life like there's a God. And if there was he'd probably love me. ~ Ricky Gervais

Of all the disciplines involved in making anything - TV, film or anything I do - the writing is the most valuable commodity. ~ Ricky Gervais

The next time someone is critical of you, just take a moment to consider their life. Then smile to yourself. ~ Ricky Gervais

You can't censor stupidity. ~ Ricky Gervais

I've never worked out what the moral of Humpty Dumpty is. I can only think of: Don't sit on a wall, if you're an egg. ~ Ricky Gervais

I don't think it matters if there is a god or not. I've met people who believe in God that are good and that are bad. And I've met people who don't believe in God that are good and that are bad. So, just be good. I'm good. Not cos I think I'll go to heaven but because when I do something bad, I feel bad. And when I do something good, I feel good. ~ Ricky Gervais

You now have the least amount of time you've ever had, to do everything you've ever wanted to do. Enjoy your life. You only get one ~ Ricky Gervais

Enjoy life. Have fun. Be kind. Have worth. Have friends. Be honest. Laugh. Die with dignity. Make the most of it. It's all we've got. ~ Ricky Gervais

If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice. ~ Ricky Gervais

Celebrities, make it harder for hackers to get nude pics of you from your computer by not putting nude pics of yourself on the computer. ~ Ricky Gervais

On a daily basis, you're working with Steve Carell; you're not working with Ricky Gervais. You try a line, and you can't be writing for David Brent. You have to be writing for Michael Scott because Steve is Michael Scott. ~ Greg Daniels

Some [people] are really smart. You know who you are. Some [people] are really thick. Unfortunately, you don't know who you are. ~ Ricky Gervais

To complain about critics in a business is like a sailor complaining about the waves. Go back to the beach if you don't like it. ~ Ricky Gervais

The world is bigger than all the parts. That's the important thing, and one thing can throw everything off kilter. And you must never let yourself off. You'll let yourself off by mistake. So you shouldn't do it consciously. You have to be above it all and just be very disciplined with it. Just be very disciplined with it. ~ Ricky Gervais

Being an atheist makes someone a clearer thinking, fairer person. They [atheists] are not doing things to be rewarded in heaven; they're doing things because they're right, because they live by a moral code. ~ Ricky Gervais

Remember, if you don't sin, then Jesus died for nothing ~ Ricky Gervais

I'll watch Ricky Gervais in anything he does. The guy's hilarious. ~ Danny DeVito

You could easily spot any Religion of Peace. Its extremist members would be extremely peaceful. ~ Ricky Gervais

I never think of myself as a celebrity - or even an actor, actually. I think of myself as a writer-director. ~ Ricky Gervais

Where there's a will - there's a relative! ~ Ricky Gervais