Racist Jokes Quotes

To me, racist jokes are not funny. I am politically correct, in a weird way. I like to push the boundaries that are politically correct. ~ John Waters

In the most basic terms it was about how when we experience art without critical awareness we consent to the ideas being promoted, either intentionally or unintentionally, by the filmmaker. For instance, if you watch a racist comedian and laugh at his jokes, you are consenting to the prejudices inherent within them. Similarly, if you watch a movie which perpetuates conventional ideas about race, gender, etc., you are consenting to them and not affecting change in any way. ~ Simon Pegg

I learned all those jokes in second grade. Second grade is really where they tell you those horrific jokes, racist jokes and misogynistic jokes that you have no idea what they mean, and you just memorize them because they have a very strong effect, they make people laugh in this kind of nervous, horrible way, and it's only later that you realize that you've got a head full of crap. ~ Chuck Palahniuk

I was just, you know, kind of getting racist jokes, kind of being isolated from the group. So it was definitely hard. I would come home at night and just cry my eyes out, ~ Gabby Douglas

Real racist jokes or sexist jokes aren't funny - not because they're offensive, but because they're not true. As soon as a joke is based on an untruth, it's not funny. ~ Ricky Gervais

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent. ~ John Oliver

Despite all their surface diversity, most jokes and funny incidents have the following logical structure: Typically you lead the listener along a garden path of expectation, slowly building up tension. At the very end, you introduce an unexpected twist that entails a complete reinterpretation of all the preceding data, and moreover, it's critical that the new interpretation, though wholly unexpected, makes as much "sense" of the entire set of facts as did the originally "expected" interpretation.
In this regard, jokes have much in common with scientific creativity, with what Thomas Kuhn calls a "paradigm shift" in response to a single "anomaly." (It's probably not coincidence that many of the most creative scientists have a great sense of humor.) Of course, the anomaly in the joke is the traditional punch line and the joke is "funny" only if the listener gets the punch line by seeing in a flash of insight how a completely new interpretation of the same set of facts can incorporate the anomalous ending.
The longer and more tortuous the garden path of expectation, the "funnier" the punch line when finally delivered. ~ V.S. Ramachandran

I mean a racist, hate-filled host who is openly trying to get people to be violent would have zero viewers in the America I know and love. ~ Glenn Beck

A 'black' man who draws a 'black' person with big lips is called observant. A 'white' man who does the same is called a racist. ~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Our country is the best country in the world. We are swimming in prosperity and our President is the best president in the world. We have larger apples and better cotton and faster and more beautiful machines. This makes us the greatest country in the world. Unemployment is a myth. Dissatisfaction is a fable. In preparatory school America is beautiful. It is the gem of the ocean and it is too bad. It is bad because people believe it all. Because they become indifferent. Because they marry and reproduce and vote and they know nothing. ~ John Cheever

I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin' [puts mic to his neck and speaks as if he had a mechanical larynx] 'good evening everybody,
remember me, smoking's bad. [puts cigarette to neck and mimics smoking it] Eeww. You ever seen somebody do that? I've seen someone do that. Let me tell you something - if you're smoking out
of a hole in your neck [mimics it again] I'd think about quitting. And that's just me, ya know. ~ Bill Hicks

I needed time to stand back and go through a lot more experience in life. Then I have something to write about, joke or to animate. ~ Howie Mandel

It was not easy to get to where I am. My challenge is to learn to deal with the jokes that are common among men that I heard and continue to hear sometimes among men. ~ Maria Das Gracas Silva Foster

When I started out, the most terrifying thing was when I had to be very, very emotional in front of lots of people. Now I've kind of learned that it is very important to keep talking all day, keep making jokes, and be connected with people, and be present. It's very important for me to be absolutely present in order to be emotional. I learned that is sort of the way I need to be. ~ Julianne Moore

I am the least racist person there is. ~ Donald Trump

In the 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next to Tom Selleck. So I leaned over and I said 'looks like we're a couple of peeing Toms. His angry silence is something I'll never forget. ~ Tom Hanks

Me racist? The only race I hate is the one you have to run. ~ Gabriel Iglesias

Racist people are few, in the minority. But you can do nothing to change them. You can talk, you can do what you want, but you can't do anything because they are just stupid people. ~ Mario Balotelli

I cut my teeth playing rock songs on the accordion when I was a teenager and my friends always thought that was extremely amusing. I think that was the genesis of my polka medleys, because every rock song I played on the accordion just sounded like a polka and my friends thought it was funny. So that was a joke that I continue up to this very day. ~ Al Yankovic

Beth pulled herself away from Ian and walked forward, sticking out her hand. "I'm very well, thank you so much for inquiring. The journey was tiring but uneventful, no problems on the lines, and no Fenian bombs at any of the stations."
Hart shot Ian a scowl.
"She is fond of jokes," Ian said.
"Is she?" Hart answered, his voice cool.
"I am also fond of chocolate, and of raspberry fool." Beth curled her ignored hand at her side. "At the moment I'd be fond of a cool drink of water and a soft bed."
Hart spoke directly to her for a change. "I don't recall sending for you, Mrs. Ackerley. You'd even now be reclining on a soft bed if you'd gone upstairs with the maid."
Beth's heart hammered. "The only person I ever allowed to send for me, Your Grace, was Mrs. Barrington, and that was because she paid me wages."
Hart's brows drew fiercely together, and Ian said, "Leave her be, Hart. ~ Jennifer Ashley

I make jokes about it, but it's the truth that I kind of patterned my look after the town tramp. I didn't know what she was, just this woman who was blond and piled her hair up, wore high heels and tight skirts, and, boy, she was the prettiest thing I'd ever seen. Momma used to say, "Aw, she's just trash," and I thought, That's what I want to be when I grow up. Trash. ~ Dolly Parton

He is racist, he's homophobic, he's xenophobic and he's a sexist. He's the perfect Republican candidate. [California Democratic Party chairman about Pat Buchanan.] ~ Bill Press

Remember that Cosby show where he harrassed the children? Well I put on a little suit and because I am so small they invited me on but nobody was laughing at my jokes. I guess I'm just, too, particularly smart for them. ~ Thom Yorke

Jokes have to be quite naked to be understood. They have to be quite simple. ~ Kurt Vonnegut

I have a lot of glass in my house, and I remember saying as a joke once that I clean my stuff with Windex while my friends are over, but then I found myself actually doing that the other day. It's horrible. ~ Courteney Cox

I was born black, I attended all Negro schools including college, I grew up in the segregated South during Jim Crow. If anybody knows a racist, I do. Pat Buchanan ain't no racist. ~ Ezola B. Foster

The one thing that the racist can never manage is anything like discrimination: he is indiscriminate by definition. ~ Christopher Hitchens

As I grow older, I become more and more of a Marxist - Groucho, that is. When you have lived two-thirds of your life, you know the value of a good joke. ~ Karen DeCrow

But with Dimitri, I never felt like I had to be anything more what I already was. I didn't have to entertain him or think up jokes or even flirt. It was enough to just be together, to be completely comfortable in each other's presence.. ~ Richelle Mead

To see the absurdity of racism, some people first had to be blind. ~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

I still find that a kind of stricture of the heart happens when I see any form of bigoted or racist behaviour. I get an actual pain in my heart. ~ Janet Suzman

It allows the team to culture the many gut bacteria that are extremely intolerant of the gas. "If you write the word oxygen on a piece of paper and show it to these bugs, they'll die," jokes Gordon. ~ Ed Yong

I like there to be a joke in practically every photo I take. Nobody has the right to make photography boring. ~ Norman Parkinson

If they invent a car that runs on stupid jokes, you could go far. ~ Haruki Murakami

In order to get beyond racism, we must first take account of race. There is no other way. And in order to treat some persons equally, we must treat them differently. ~ Harry A. Blackmun

Treat me like a joke, watch me leave you like its funny ~ Auliq Ice

Horsfall was fond of practical jokes. He once wired up a toilet seat to a battery and waited for a girlfriend to use it. 'The scream that Kath gave when the magneto was turned on was most satisfying,' he recalled. He even wrote a poem to commemorate the occasion.

I gave her time to start her piddle
Then gave the thing a violent twiddle
Before I could complete a turn
She closed the circuit with her stern,
And shooting off the wooden seat
Emitted a most piercing shriek. ~ Ben Macintyre

The world I remember was tired and racist and volatile as hell, ripe for a hostile takeover by a shit regime.
We were already divided.
The conquering was easy. ~ Tahereh Mafi