Quips Quotes

You do not strike me as a Lothario. You're far too serious for the part.'
'Oh? I did give it a small try, if you recall. And your mouth tasted quite sweet. But perhaps I was too subtle?'
From an airy exchange of quips, he had suddenly moved onto solid ground ... 'You're a skillful flirt,' she managed. 'I will give you that.'
'And you're no flirt at all. Come, give it a try. Tell me how a rogue charms a woman, if not through sober, industrious application.'
Her lips twitched. 'That sounds like the factory brand of roguery. But all you need do is attend to a woman's vanity, I suppose.'
'Ah, yes. Of course. It comes back to me now; I've been going about it all wrong. THe first thing I should have said is that you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.'
She laughed despite herself. 'That's a clever sort of compliment, seeing as it reserves you the right to change your mind with the next woman you meet. ~ Meredith Duran

All the quips in the world couldn't prevent Oscar Wilde from becoming a lovesick fool. ~ David Levithan

He throws me a wide grin. "Ooh, calmed down then, have we? I must say, your death threats are quite refreshing – they're a nice little step up from telling me to get my head out of my ass."
I shoot him daggers. "Bite me."
"Wow, I had no idea you were into that shit." he quips with a wicked grin.
"And I had no idea that you could reach a new level of asshole. ~ Joanne McClean

No," said Hermione shortly. "Have either of you seen my copy of Numerology and Gramatica?"
"Oh, yeah, I borrowed it for a bit of bedtime reading," said Ron, but very quietly. ~ J.K. Rowling

Becoming a porn star is pretty much exactly like becoming a superhero. One day, an intrepid, fresh-faced young woman discovers that she has a talent. She chooses a new name – something over the top, flamboyant, a little arrogant, with a tinge of the epic. Somebody makes her a costume – skintight – revealing, a flattering color, nothing much left to the imagination. She explores her power, learns a specialty move or two, sweats her way through a training montage, throwing out punny quips here, there, and everywhere. She inhabits an archetype. She takes every blow that comes her way like she doesn't even feel it. Then she goes out into the big, bad night and saves people from loneliness. From the assorted villanies that plague the common man. From despair and bad dreams. From tedium. Oh, sure, her victories are short-lived. She finishes off her foes in one glorious masterstroke, but the minute she's gone, all the wickedness and darkness of the scheming, teeming world comes rushing back in. But when you need her, here she comes to save the day, doing it for Truth, Justice, and the American Way. ~ Catherynne M. Valente

On a wing and a prayer. (After being asked how the angels make love in Milton's Paradise Lost). ~ Benjamin R. Smith

Right at the core, the mainstream has it backwards. Warren Buffett often quips that the first rule of investing is to not lose money, and the second rule is to not forget the first rule. Yet few investors approach the world with such a strict standard of risk avoidance. ~ Seth Klarman

And another regrettable thing about death is the ceasing of your own brand of magic, which took a whole life to develop and market - the quips, the witticisms, the slant adjusted to a few, those loved ones nearest the lip of the stage . . . - JOHN UPDIKE, "Perfection Wasted ~ Carole Radziwill

Danger is the snack food of a true sleuth. ~ Mac Barnett

Mine passed out before I could enjoy it. I always pick the weak ones," Quinton says grimly.

"We are what we eat my friend," Galen quips. ~ Jessica L Padilla

Just thinking about spending an uninterrupted hour with him makes the color rise in my cheeks, and Emma inquires, "Are you okay? You seem kind of ... distracted."
Distracted. Well, that's one way to put it.
Deciding to throw caution to the wind, I fess up, "Kyle's here. It's our first night together."
"The cop who arrested you?" Emma suddenly looks much more cheerful as she quips, "Kinky, Jessalyn. Did he bring his handcuffs? ~ Katie Lynn Johnson

I'd prefer to never witness that again, so a full weather report will be added to Shera's daily tasks," Arion chimes in, looking idly around the airplane. "On another note, so long as I learn to land a plane, I'll already be an exceptionally better pilot than Vance."

"Do you have any idea how damn fine of a job I just did?" Vance asks Arion with narrowed eyes.

Arion glances over at the smoking wreckage, quirking an eyebrow. "Not really, no," the vampire quips in a very genuine tone.

"Fuck's sake, Arion. It wasn't me who crashed the plane; it was the - fuck it. Never mind," Vance says, sighing in exasperation as he pulls out his phone. "I'll have someone come take care of this and pick us up. ~ Kristy Cunning

Well?" Nat says after a few seconds. "I'm surprised you're here again, Harriet. I thought you'd be busy auditioning for A Midsummer Night's Dream."
I blink a few times in surprise. "No. I'm not."
"You should be. I heard they're looking for an ass."
Oh. Now why can't I think of quips like that when I need them? ~ Holly Smale

Zack looks at Jenna and slowly pulls off his sunglasses. "Why, hello, beautiful," he says. "I'm Zack." He shows off his dimples. "And you are ... ?"
"Not going to sleep with you," Jenna quips, grinning right back at him.
His smile widens. "Well played. ~ Chelsea Fine

Leonidas's and Dienekes' quips draw the individual out of his private terror and yoke him to the group. ~ Steven Pressfield

The princess snorted. "If you haven't figured out by now that I don't care what you think of me, let this be the lesson that sticks. ~ C.J. Redwine

…He rocked against her, his body shuddering against hers again and again, until he collapsed on top of her and buried his face in her hair.

Brooke felt his heart beating against her chest as they lay there, boneless. For two people who preferred to speak in quips and sarcasm, that had been unexpectedly…intense.

She wasn't quite sure how to feel about that.

Then Cade spoke.

"I think this is the first time I've ever used this table," he said, against her neck.

Brooke began to laugh. My God, he was still inside her and she was already giggling. "I take it you don't do a lot of formal entertaining."

He pulled back, his dark hair falling across his forehead. "Were you not entertained, Ms. Parker? ~ Julie James

For me, Twitter works best as a way of taking pictures of being stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge. If people really want to read really funny quips about life, parenting, and pop culture, then by all means read Michael Ian Black's tweets. ~ Michael Showalter

Ser Jaime ... I am grateful, but ... you were well away. Why come back?" A dozen quips came to mind, each crueler than the one before, but Jaime only shrugged. "I dreamed of you ~ George R R Martin

I have always loved being behind the camera. I love how it sets you apart in a crowd, so that you can float at the edges, pausing only occasionally to capture a moment.
In its own way it's easier than writing. As a writer, I have to know people, to talk to them, to barge into silences with a dozen of those little lighthearted quips that lead up to a conversation. And even then, they're guarded around you. Nobody wants their drunken conversation written down somewhere.
Being a photographer is different. People come to you. They smile. They flirt. They make sure you see only their best side. Nobody wants to upset the camera. ~ Yudhanjaya Wijeratne

Ralph Keyes calls quotation collectors "quotographers," the men and women who gather catchwords, watchwords, war words, winged words, maxims, mottos, sayings, and quips into books of a thousand pages. Through the centuries quotation collectors have saved quotations that would otherwise be lost. ~ Willis Regier

Heaven's heard us down here, cackling at our piss-takes and chortling at our quips; I've seen the looks, the suspicion that they're missing out on it, this laughing malarkey. But they always turn away, Gabriel to horn practice, Michael to the weights. Truth is they're timid. If there was a safe way down
a fire escape (boom-boom)
there'd be more than a handful of deserters tiptoeing down to my door. Abandon hope all ye who enter here, yes
but get ready for a rart ol' giggle, dearie. ~ Glen Duncan

In France everything is a matter for jest. People make quips about the scaffold, about Napoleon's defeat on the banks of The Beresina, and about the barricades of our revolutions. So, at the assizes of the Last Judgment, there will always be a Frenchmen to crack a joke. ~ Honore De Balzac

One of her friends who posts from the moment she wakes up until she goes to bed at night. I don't know her, but I have friends like her, friends who miss their lives as they stay glued to their phones, letting everyone know of every thought they have and every bite they eat. I wonder if this girl ever interacts much with real friends - people who are truly present in her life. She probably never enjoys a meal, because she's too busy posting pictures of it. Too busy to enjoy her friends' quips, because she's thumb-typing every word. ~ Terri Blackstock

There, an engaging tour guide told jokes and made witty quips in between sensationalized and brutal stories of inmates "getting what they deserved" because, as she put it, "if you gonna act like an animal, you gonna get treated like one." (We know, thanks to Goffman and pretty much every behavior study out there, that it often works the other way around.) ~ Margee Kerr

Wit is the thought process that generates truly funny observations, as well as the most incisive comments, lasting quips, and brilliant asides. To say wit is mean is like saying the sun is mean for burning you: The giant ball of hot plasma at the center of our solar system is bigger than that, and why weren't you wearing sunscreen in the first place? ~ Benjamin Errett

I just want to matter,' he said unsmiling.

It was like pulling a curtain back, peering behind a mask made of smiles and quips. This was the real James, this young, bright, desperate thing. There was a burning intensity to his eyes, and she saw for the first time a boy who would sell his heart--not for some hobby, but because he thought it was the only way to life the life he wanted.

They had that in common. ~ Emily Lloyd-Jones

Do you fancy catching a movie at the Sturbridge Theater tonight? That new Robert Pattinson movie is showing," I ask her, the phone cradled against my chest.
"Definitely sign me up for that!" Ari replies, chuckling as I mock scowl. Her easy laugh warms my soul.
"We're in," I tell Gil, arranging to meet him and his date in the diner later.
"So, who is it this time?" Ari asks, resting her chin in her hands. "Anyone we know?"
Considering I can count the girls on one hand who have enjoyed more than one date with Gil, I doubt it'll be someone familiar. "I didn't ask; guess we'll find out soon enough."
"Five bucks says it's a blonde," Ari quips.
"That's one bet I'm not taking," I admit, twirling a lock of her hair around my finger. "Gil's penchant for blondes is world-renowned. ~ Siobhan Davis

As Harry Potter was the only other thing I was passionate about, the doctors gave consent for me to leave the hospital and collect the fifth Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, from the local book shop. I was so ecstatic to have the book and excited to begin reading it, but there was never any hint of your imminent arrival and the way you would change my life so drastically. Luna, you instantly captivated me. I didn't know why but there was something about you with your upside-down magazine, straggly blonde hair, and the honest, abashed way you stared at people without blinking that fascinated and perplexed me at once. You laughed hysterically at one of Ron's quips and didn't stop to excuse yourself and feel ashamed when it became clear that everyone found you strange. Throughout the book, I found myself waiting for your brief appearances and wanting to know more about you and why you were the way you were. You baffled me, not because you were odd (though indeed you were), but because you were… perfect. But it was a different kind of perfect to the perfectly thin, smiling magazine girls I simultaneously idolised and reviled. It was the way you carried your oddness like it was the most natural thing in the world. You didn't market your oddness as your defining feature the way some insecure teenagers do, in guise of confidence and security. And nor were you oblivious to the awkward and uncomfortable feelings your oddness provoked in others. When, unabl ~ Evanna Lynch

I have a lot of very close girlfriends and sisters - I'm from an all female family. My father often quips that even the cat was neutered! ~ Shirley Manson

Effortlessly, the man sowed the idea of sex with his quips, the smiles, and something as innocent as their legs brushing against one another. ~ Melissa Blue