Postal Dude Quotes

Let's put it in old movie Mafia terms. There are guys that are in position to get by but they didn't wait their turn. They back-doored the top guy to get the power. For example, Sonny Corleone went up there, and he wanted to be the top guy. And the Godfather said, 'You know what dude, I'm a star.' That's what I'm doing now, and that's what I was trying to do with what's-his-name. ~ Shaquille O'Neal

Whatever the hell was going on with this guy, he reminded Harley of a rat. Harley hated rats. It made him want to whack the dude in the face with a bat. ~ Amy Cook

Dude, I throw a stick. Come on. I get paid a pretty good salary to throw a stick. ~ Breaux Greer

Hot girls have so many options. Sitting at home alone any night of the week and searching the Internet for a dude is on zero hot girls' agendas. So they're definitely not coming after you. ~ Adam DeVine

44. Abidement Bullshit money or basic freedoms: which is dearer? Contentment or competition: which is more valuable? Compensation or employment: which is more painful? Great coitus incurs great expense, And great wealth incurs fucking phoniness, But great abidement incurs no loss. Therefore: He who knows when to take it easy Can't be worried about that shit, And may long endure ups and downs, strikes and gutters. Tao Te Ching: 44. Contentment Fame or Self: which is dearer? Self or wealth: which is more valuable? Profit or loss: which is more painful? Great love incurs great expense, And great wealth incurs great theft, But great contentment incurs no loss. Therefore: He who knows when to stop Does not continue into danger, And may long endure. ~ The Church Of The Latter-Day Dude

Cael, come on. Stop licking the dude. That's gross."

Letty let out a snort. "Please, like you don't lick dudes."

"That's different," Dex explained with a grimace. "None of those dudes were Ash. Besides, last time I checked, Ash was allergic to nuts. ~ Charlie Cochet

The voice called his name again and it came through a lot of throat. Steven twisted quickly on his stool.
Just a white wall and, down near the floor, the ventilation grille. Then movement behind the grille and Steven was on his knees, peering through it, pressing his face against the mesh. In there, in the shadows beyond the spill of light from the hall, the outline of an anvil-shaped head swayed gently.
Two eyes blinked limpidly, insolent in their slowness. A dark mass moved forward into the light.
"That Cripps man is going to fuck you up, dude."
It was a cow. Most of the body was below floor level but Steven could tell it was a full grown animal. A sienna Guernsey. He looked closely at the flawless sandy curves of forehead and cheek, at the chocolate darkening of the mouth and nostrils, at the badger rings around the eyes. For an absurd second he thought that if he looked hard enough at it the thing might phase back into his head and disappear.
But it was real and it stayed.
"What … ?"
"Yeah, I'm a cow, man. Touch me."
Steven stuck his fingers through the grille. The cow was a cow, warm and solid. ~ Matthew Stokoe

This is extremely challenging when you sound like a 12-year-old girl, and you decide your first personal endeavor is to play, like, a - like, a very macho dude. ~ Mindy Kaling

She hoped the menfolk were having a nice, relaxing road trip in that souped-up man car they were riding in because as soon as they got to the Roberts' house, she was pawning off the woman formerly known as her sister onto the dude whose sperm had apparently turned her into a she-devil. ~ Julie James

Yeah," he grount out. "I nailed her."
"Where?" Luc always wanted the dirty details.
"Stockroom. Pay up."
Luc snorted and reached for his wallet. "I really got taken on this one , didn't I?" He handed over four hundreds and five twenties.
"Yeah, well, you can have the last laugh once the Sem brothers catch up with me. Seems she's their sister."
"Dude." Luc streched out the word and then whistled, low and long. "Nice knowing you. So, will it at least have been worth it? Being gutted by Shade, I mean. Was she good ?"
His body heated as though remembering. And wanting again.
"Of course I was."
Fuck. Con spun around to find Sin standing there, hands on hips and fury in her expression. Like a kid caught stealing candy, he whipped the money behind his back. She looked at him as if he was an idiot and grabbed his arm, briging it around.
"It's not what you think," he said lamely, because it was exactly what she thought.
"Really? So that big asshole behind you didn't bet you five hundred bucks that you couldn't fuck me ?"
"Ah..."
"That's what I thought. You dick. How stupid do you think I am ? Your name really fits you , Con." She snatched the money from him, took two hundreds and three twenties, and thrust the remaining two hundred and forty dollars back into his hand. Then, smiling broadly, she punched him in the shoulder. "Next time you make a bet like that, don't cheat me out of my half. I owe you a ten."
She winked ~ Larissa Ione

I don't know if this is advice, but I remember this guy in high school who came off like he'd been with a lot of women. He said, "Dude, what girls sometimes like is the unexpected." There were these girls who were always giving him tittie twisters, and he kept warning them, "I'm going to do it back." I'm thinking, There's no way. But sure enough, one girl crossed the line and he did. ~ Jon Heder

See what I mean," I raised my hand into the air as if offering proof. "He's pissed and all he can think about are assholes. It's like two prizes in one."
"You're sick."
"As in rad?" I asked. "Like ... you're totally sick, dude."
"As in demented," Gabe said.I scoffed, watching as he opened the gate on the SUV. "Everyone's a critic. ~ Ethan Day

I never rode on the back of an old
Chopper down the highway
Holdin' on tight just him and I
Makin' our getaway
I've always been the good girl
Walked the straight and narrow path all my life,

I like a man with a tan and a twisted chrome kickstand
Leanin' on a big old bike
The low rollin' sound that'll shake the ground
Comin' out of long pipes
I like a tattoo or two
Or even more if they're cool
On the big old arms of a long-haired dude
Inside of me, there's an all I wanna be
Biker chick ~ Jo Dee Messina

They probably don't really like pale skin but they certainly like walking into a store without some security dude following them. Hating Your Goy and Eating One Too, as the great Philip Roth put it. So if everyone in America aspires to be WASPs, then what do WASPs aspire to? Does anyone know? ~ Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

We love you, dude, but I swear to God, if you put me in a position where I have to pick between you and Shaw, she is going to win every single time, hands down. Know it. ~ Jay Crownover

What you'll always get from me is a variety of emotions. Whenever you listen to my CD, whether you're the hardest dude or the bitterest cat, I'll give you a real story to think about. ~ Drake

And like that black president, you'd think that after two terms of looking at a dude in a suit deliver the State of the Union address, you'd get used to square watermelons, but somehow you never do. ~ Paul Beatty

I feel like a lot of people in the hip hop world don't take me seriously as a rapper, and I feel that first-and-foremost I came up as a rapper before I started singing. All a lot of people know from me is 'Cupid's Chokehold,' and they don't scratch the surface and see beyond that dude who sings the song about his girlfriend. ~ Travie McCoy

Ryodan doesn't like Mac. He never has. She got between him and his best boy-bud. I give him a look. "I'll tell you a secret, Ryodan. You mess with her, Barrons'll kill you." I drag a finger across my neck. "Just like that. You aren't all that. Barrons'll stomp your ass, hand's down."

He smiles faintly. "I'll be damned. You have a crush on Barrons."

"I do not have a crush - "

"You do, too. It's all over your face. Anybody could see it."

"Sometimes, boss, you're just wrong."

"I'm never wrong. You might as well take out a billboard. 'Dani O'Malley thinks Jericho Barrons is hot.' My offer to teach you is still open. Save you from future embarrassment. If I can see it on your face, he can, too. "

"He never figured it out before," I grumble then realize I just admitted it. Ryodan has a tricky way of wording things that makes you say things you didn't mean to say. "Maybe I'll ask Barrons to teach me," I mutter and turn away from the stairs, heading for his office. I run smack into his chest. "Dude, move. Trying to get somewhere here."

"No one but me is ever going to teach you, Dani."

He touches me before I see it coming, has his hand under my chin, turning my face up. My shiver is instant and uncontrollable.

"That's non-negotiable. You signed a contract with me that grants exclusivity. You won't like it if you try to break it. ~ Karen Marie Moning

Postal will be so politically incorrect and harsh, it's like a mirror to American society, and I don't think the movie will be well received by anybody. For example, Osama Bin Laden will be one of the lead characters-I think that shows the mood of the movie. ~ Uwe Boll

Don't turn a good dude who is loyal to his chick into a bad nigga by throwing yourself at him when he is already committed. Know when to stay the hell away.Good men are rare. If he aint single, don't make him unfaithful. Oh Yes, he might cheat with some other chick. It does not have to be you. ~ Crystal Evans

Are you still making that man sing? It must be love, dude ~ Con Riley

I can't swallow another drop of soda by this point because the carbonation is burning my throat.
"Oh really? Well ... " I trail off as I feel bubbling at the base of my throat. This is not good.
Before I can stop myself, I let out the biggest burp I've ever, ever, ever had. I slap a hand over my mouth and stare at Logan whose eyebrows have reached astronomical heights.
"Dude! So not smooth, man! Girls cannot stand rudeness," Dan yells from the back room. ~ Leah Rae Miller

I'm always mystified by the day-to-day workings of entities like Twitter that provide framework but not content, but I suppose it could be compared to the U.S. Postal Service, which manages to keep a lot of people employed doing lots of stuff other than writing letters. ~ Susan Orlean

Morelli smiled. "It could have been Jenny Ragucci. That makes much more sense. I had good luck with sluts."
I looked over at him.
All in the past," Morelli said. "I'm a cupcake man now."
Whoa, dude," Mooner said. "That's so, like, cosmic. ~ Janet Evanovich

I would rather propose a bureau somewhat similar to that which we have in the Universal Postal Union. ~ Fredrik Bajer

Atheists are spiritual slackers, right? We are the stoners of the cosmos. We think we're all over-intelligent, free-thinking, free-spirited, uber-cool, hippy-dippy, science-minded, leaning-to-the-left, hedonistic, children of Theodorus the Atheist. We're all like "Dude, I don't need no stinkin' deity" and if we came face-to-face with the Grim Reaper himself we'd say, "No worries, Bro, let's do this! Game over! ~ T. K. Decker

Dude," I said, making the word a disgusted sound. "Single guys everywhere hate you. Starting with me. ~ Jim Butcher

I'm not scared of anything. But cats ... ' He blew out a puff of air and shook his head. Those soulless eyes. That depraved indifference. Cats are evil, dude. ~ Gina Damico

Dude...you were together. Night and day for four years, so what was wasted exactly. ~ Kahlen Aymes

[I'm] an extremely private dude and all this is happening so damn quick. I really haven't had any time to rationalize it. But it's nothing that I'm going to let freak me out or take control of me or my thoughts or my real life. ~ Heath Ledger

Did you finish yours, Kota?"
"Working on it now, Actually."
"How's it going?"
He sat up, turning in his chair and holding up his notebook. "I don't know. What rhymes with formaldehyde?"
My eyes widened. Gabriel laughed, rubbing his fingers against his forehead. "Dude, what kind of poem are you writing?"
Kota blinked at us. "It's about a doctor."
"Does the doctor fall in love?" Gabriel asked.
"No."
"Does someone die?"
"Not in the story, technically."
"What does he do?"
"He performs an autopsy. ~ C.L.Stone

A cult leader alone in his beliefs is just a crazy dude with a beard. ~ Caitlin Doughty

People can smell the bullshit and see through the curtains. People know when something's real and when something isn't, and when some dude really means what he's saying or singing, or when he doesn't. ~ William Beckett

People are more used to seeing men who are masters at an instrument than women. When people say, 'Oh, she plays like a dude,' it's usually dudes who are the ones saying it. They're saying, 'Oh, she's as good as us.' Of course, that's a stupid statement. It's totally stereotypical to say, 'We have an advantage on this, and if anyone else can do it well, it's only because they're like us.' I think more men are starting to learn that this attitude is totally hollow and based in imagination. As more women are involved in music, this kind of thing gets said less and less. ~ Esperanza Spalding

I'm not the smartest dude in the world. (After all ... I picked a career in acting.) ~ Stephen Amell

Ready to come harder than you've ever come in your life?" I ask solemnly, lifting one of his knees up. He smiles. "You sure you want to put that much pressure on yourself, dude?" "No pressure. Just fact. Science has proven it. ~ Sarina Bowen

Are you like an enchanted thing? A damn story where some girl lets a warty old toad sleep in her shoe and in the mornin the toad's a good-lookin dude makin omelettes? ~ Annie Proulx

You gonna be the DD?" I ask as I throw a black hoodie over my T-shirt and zip it up.
My buddy snorts. "Did you really just ask me that?"
I roll my eyes. "Right. What ever was I thinking?"¨
The last time Dean Heyward-Di Laurentis was sober at a party was never. Dude drinks like a fish or gets higher than a kite every time he leaves the house, and if you think that affects his performance on the ice in any way, then think again. ~ Elle Kennedy

And me being jealous of how a girl like Abby could move here and choose to befriend you out of everyone, and you have so many friends already, and I don't think you even get what a big deal that is. ,.. I'm just saying that it seems like it's so easy for you, and you should know you're actually really lucky.
... You deserve it completely. You're an awesome dude, Spier and it was cool getting to know you. If I could do it again, I would have blackmailed you into being my friend and left it at that. ~ Becky Albertalli

If you look at UFC champions: BJ Penn - terrifying! GSP - terrifying! Anderson Silva - terrifying! But I'm not terrifying. I am not the super-submission guy, I am not the one-punch KO guy, so I am not the most feared guy in the worldBut I will not quit, I will not break and I will fight you like a dog for every second of every round. I am not a super-talented guy, I'm just a dude who will fight you tooth and nail. ~ Forrest Griffin

Nick gave a sharp nod. "Fair point". Rising, he stepped toward the desk and stole a chip off Marz's plate.
"Dude," Marz said, holding out his hands, "get your own crunchy goodness. ~ Laura Kaye

YOU are using a frisbee as a plate."
"Uh, what? I'm not using a
oh hang on, this is a frisbee. Weird."
Victor glared at me.
"Dude, calm down, I'll wash it afterward. It's probably dishwasher safe. ~ Jenny Lawson

Jesus. We got it, dude!" Aiden says. "We all know we're Donavans. We don't need a formal adoption process or the official name change to tell us that. It's a given. Just take the vote, Shane. ~ K. Bromberg

Just think of me as your friendly neighborhood cuddler." He's quiet again before another question bursts from him. "Are you telling me you'd do this for anyone?" I snuggle down. "No. That you're insanely hot is a huge factor. I get to cop a feel under the guise of civic duty." "Oh, for fuck's sake." A smile pulls at my lips. "Can it with the outrage. I know for a fact that most people would rather snuggle up to a hot dude. If it makes me shallow for admitting that, so be it." He ~ Kristen Callihan