Poop In Toilets Quotes

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Quotes About Poop In Toilets

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The more you stared up crap the more it's going to smell (/) ~ Mary Sumner
Poop In Toilets quotes by Mary Sumner
Sometimes on the journey, you step in dog poop. But you don't let the whole journey be about the fact that your shoe got poop on it. ~ Iyanla Vanzant
Poop In Toilets quotes by Iyanla Vanzant
British flight attendants warn you not to tamper with the smoke detectors in the aircraft toilets, whereas American flight attendants warn you not to tamper with, disable or destroy them. ~ Terry Eagleton
Poop In Toilets quotes by Terry Eagleton
[Americans] can't understand that the water in our toilet is cleaner than 880 million have access to. ~ Matt Damon
Poop In Toilets quotes by Matt Damon
I never think about themes. I let the music create itself. I like it to be a potpourri of all kinds of sounds, all kinds of colors, something for everybody, from the farmer in Ireland to the lady who scrubs toilets in Harlem. ~ Michael Jackson
Poop In Toilets quotes by Michael Jackson
She depended on him to smooth her brow when her shit-on-a-stick life got too covered in poop sprinkles. ~ Jean Oram
Poop In Toilets quotes by Jean Oram
Some have characterized the boomers as optimistic, but to my view they were simply soft and rather unprepared. They didn't know how to cook or sew or balance their own checkbooks. They were bad at opening the mail. They got headaches while trying to lead Girl Scout meetings, and they sat down in folding chairs with their fingers pinching the bridges of their noses, trying not to cry over how boring and hard life had turned out to be, as around them feverish little girls screamed with laughter over the fact that one of them had stepped in poop.. ~ Rufi Thorpe
Poop In Toilets quotes by Rufi Thorpe
An animal on a leash is not tamed by the owner. The owner is extending himself through the leash to that part of his personality which is pure dog, that part of him which just wants to eat, sleep, bark, hump chairs, wet the floor in joy, and drink out of a toilet bowl. ~ Diane Ackerman
Poop In Toilets quotes by Diane Ackerman
A man who can set out in a cab for a fancy-dress ball and not get there is manifestly a poop of no common order. ~ P.G. Wodehouse
Poop In Toilets quotes by P.G. Wodehouse
My dogs might believe, in their little doggy brains, that they wield the power in our relationship because I feed them, pet them, come when they bark, pick up their poop, buy them toys and care for them when they are sick. However, if they ever decided to act on their beliefs and try to exert power over me or my family, then their true place in the relationship would quickly become apparent. Likewise, we may feel confident that we are the master of our AI creations, only to be taken completely by surprise when we realise – too late – that we are no longer in control. ~ Sean A. Culey
Poop In Toilets quotes by Sean A. Culey
Heaven help us! The girls have only to turn the tables,and say of one of their own sex,'She is as vain as a man,' and they will have perfect reason. The bearded creatures are quite as eager for praise, quite as finikin over their toilets, quite as proud of their personal advantages, quite as conscious of their powers of fascinations, as any coquette in the world. ~ William Makepeace Thackeray
Poop In Toilets quotes by William Makepeace Thackeray
I remember one time I heard this English professor asking the class what the world's scariest noise is. Is it a man crying out in pain? A woman's scream of terror? A gunshot? A baby crying? And the professor shakes his head and says, 'No, the scariest noise is, you're all alone in your dark house, you know you're all alone, you know that there is no chance anyone else is home or within miles - and then, suddenly, from upstairs, you hear the toilet flush. ~ Harlan Coben
Poop In Toilets quotes by Harlan Coben
Here Katy. I have a cooler trick than Finn's. I can show you how to write poop on a calculator . . . now that's awesome." I pulled the calculator from her little hands and proceeded to teach her some potty humor every kid should know.
Finn grabbed it from my hand and punched in some numbers and passed it back. When I turned it upside down it read "hILLBILLI." Well, I definitely was that. ~ Amy Harmon
Poop In Toilets quotes by Amy Harmon
People say there's delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years, a bunch of people used to die on the way there, have a baby, you would end up with a whole different group of people by the time you got there. Now you watch a movie and [go to the toilet] and you're home. ~ Louis C.K.
Poop In Toilets quotes by Louis C.K.
There were rat footprints in the dried lard in the frying pan. Sometimes the rats woke me, but this time I had slept through their visit. They were now a fact of life, like dogs or pigeons.

It was Raeberry Street, Maryhill, Glasgow in 1975. The cleansing department was on strike, and mountains of plastic bags full of garbage were piled in the back courts of the crumbling tenements. The flats didn't have bathrooms or hot water, just closet-sized toilets. ~ Barry Graham
Poop In Toilets quotes by Barry Graham
I loved being in Trainspotting and having to dive into the filthiest toilet in Scotland. ~ Ewan McGregor
Poop In Toilets quotes by Ewan McGregor
When the ship suddenly pitched more steeply, the bookworm lost his grip. He came skipping over the toilet seats - his ass made a slapping sound - until he collided with my father at the opposite end of the row of toilets. "Sorry - I just had to keep reading!" he said. Then the ship rolled in the other direction, and the soldier sallied forth, skipping over the seats again. When he'd slid all the way to the last toilet, he either lost control of the book or he let it go, gripping the toilet seat with both hands. The book floated away in the seawater. "What were you reading?" the code-boy called. "Madame Bovary!" the soldier shouted in the storm. "I can tell you what happens," the sergeant said. "Please don't!" the bookworm answered. "I want to read it for myself! ~ John Irving
Poop In Toilets quotes by John Irving
Many skills, as every successful entrepreneur knows, cannot be taught in school. They require doing. Sometimes a life of doing. And where money-making is concerned, nothing compresses the time frame needed to leap from my-shit-just-sits-there-until-it-rains poverty to which-of-my-toilets-shall-I-use affluence like an apprenticeship with someone who already has the angles all figured out. ~ Mohsin Hamid
Poop In Toilets quotes by Mohsin Hamid
When my kids were younger, I used to avoid them. I used to sit on the toilet 'til my legs fell asleep. You want to know why your father spends so long in the toilet? Because he's not sure he wants to be a father. ~ Louis C.K.
Poop In Toilets quotes by Louis C.K.
We seem unwilling to allow for the possibility that the glory of our species may lie not only in the launch of satellites, the founding of companies and the manufacture of miraculously thin semi-conductors, but also in an ability -- even if it is widely distributed among billions -- to spoon yoghurt into small mouths, find missing socks, clean toilets, deal with tantrums and wipe congealed things off tables. Here, too, there are trials worthy not of condemnation or sarcastic ridicule but of a degree of glamour, so that they may be endured with greater sympathy and fortitude. ~ Alain De Botton
Poop In Toilets quotes by Alain De Botton
Woke up this morning to the incredible news that I was nominated for an Emmy, and a shower full of dog poop. Apparently my dog is so excited, she has explosive diarrhea. I truly could not be more thankful to the Emmy voters for including me in this brilliant company of extraordinary women. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go clean up an enormous amount of dog poop out of my shower. Yay! ~ Martha Plimpton
Poop In Toilets quotes by Martha Plimpton
And I wrote a story for private circulation, "Miss Lewis & the Giant Turd," about a painful bowel movement that began in class, as she was drilling us on prepositions. Suddenly she emitted a low scraping sound like a box of rocks being dragged across concrete--like a glacier moving!--and she let out an AIIIIEEEEEEE and bent over double and hobbled to the girls' room, where she fell to the floor and cried pitifully for the janitor, who rushed in with a plunger and tried to extract the fecal mass from her, but it was too immense, and then the fire department arrived and laid her over the sink and attached a suction pump, two men on either side of her skinny butt, working a lever, and they managed to suction the poop out of her, and when they were done, she weighed forty-five pounds. And she couldn't teach anymore, she just sat on her front step waving to passing cars.

This title passed from pupil to pupil, two grimy sheets of paper folded to pocket size.... The story found its way to Laura, Miss Lewis's pet, who handed it over to her, and she read it, thin-lipped, and tore it into tiny pieces and dropped them into the wastebacket. "This is so childish it doesn't bear talking about," she said. "It is beneath contempt. ~ Garrison Keillor
Poop In Toilets quotes by Garrison Keillor
Surely it is one of the requisites of a tasteful garb that the expression of effort to please shall be wanting in it; that the mysteries of the toilet shall not be suggested by it; that the steps to its completion shall be knocked away like the sculptor's ladder from the statue, and the mental force expended upon it be swept away out of sight like the chips on the studio floor. ~ Elizabeth Stuart Phelps Ward
Poop In Toilets quotes by Elizabeth Stuart Phelps Ward
Bobby conjured up something that scared him to death and he ran out of the house and never came back. Of course you're supposed to close those doors but they never did… I found these cards dating back to the Salem witch trials that were at a house in New York where we lived with Raven, and they were covered in human blood. They were horrifying. I took about ten of them and they almost destroyed my life…The toilets flushed black and there was infestation of flies. Objects were flying off the counters at us. The house smelled like Rosewater Lavender, which was an old cologne people used in the 1600's. We would tell the spirit to leave but it would go into another room. I was someone who didn't believe in any of this and in two weeks I had to become an expert or it would have killed me and my son. Finally I found out who it was, what it was and I had to return it to Salem. Since then it has been a process of getting rid of the residual effects. I had an exorcism done several times….I am a very religious person because of it today. I won't go into it any further but I will say that Cliff Burton of Metallica had the other half of the artifacts that I had and I really believe they killed him ~ Jon Wiederhorn
Poop In Toilets quotes by Jon Wiederhorn
So it just wasn't in my house. Anywhere, I looked like I knew about the toilet. ~ Sarah Dessen
Poop In Toilets quotes by Sarah Dessen
This is your baby sister, Christian. Her name is Mia."
Mommy lets me hold her. She is very small. With black, black hair.
She smiles. She has no teeth. I stick out my tongue. She has a bubbly laugh.
Mommy lets me hold the baby again. Her name is Mia.
I make her laugh. I hold her and hold her. She is safe when I hold her.
Elliot is not interested in Mia. She dribbles and cries.
And he wrinkles his nose when she does a poop.
When Mia is crying Elliot ignores her. I hold her and hold her and she stops.
She falls asleep in my arms.
"Mee a," I whisper.
"What did you say?! Mommy asks, and her face is white like a chalk.
"Mee a."
"Yes. Yes. Darling boy. Mia. Her name is Mia."
And Mommy starts to cry with happy, happy tears. ~ E.L. James
Poop In Toilets quotes by E.L. James
Aside from battles, the history of nations seemed to consist of nothing but powerless old poops like myself, heavily medicated and vaguely beloved in the long ago, coming to kiss the boots of young psychopaths. ~ Kurt Vonnegut
Poop In Toilets quotes by Kurt Vonnegut
Either a municipal bog is a private place or it isn't. If it is a private place in which to shit, how is it not a private place in which to fellate? ~ Stephen Fry
Poop In Toilets quotes by Stephen Fry
Just because you can put something in your mouth, chew it, swallow it, and then poop it out doesn't mean it's food. It just means you can chew it, swallow it, and poop it out. ~ Cameron Diaz
Poop In Toilets quotes by Cameron Diaz
It was a Friday morning, and Walmart was populated only by the occasional mom with very young children and the random senior citizen, which made my bathroom makeover less conspicuous. Only one woman came in while I stood in front of the mirror, and she went straight to the toilets. I made sure that when she came out I was no longer standing in front of the mirror but was huddled with my palms stretched out beneath a loud hand dryer, my face completely averted. No one expects to see a celebrity in their local Walmart bathroom. Most of us don't really look at each other anyway. Our eyes glance off without really registering what we're seeing. It's human nature. It's polite society. Ignore each other unless someone is grotesquely fat or immodestly dressed or disfigured in some way - and then we pretend not to see, but we see everything. I was none of those things, and so far human nature was working in my favor. ~ Amy Harmon
Poop In Toilets quotes by Amy Harmon
I must break out ...
... start a new life ...
been here for years ...
might be getting into a rut ...
something a bit more exciting ...
more adventurous ...
something with more of a challenge ...
There's not much opportunity for self-advancement in toilets ... ~ Raymond Briggs
Poop In Toilets quotes by Raymond Briggs
The most work he did on [the urinals] was to run a brush once or twice apiece, singing some song as loud as he could in time to the swishing brush; then he'd splash in some Clorox and he'd be through ... And when the Big Nurse ... came in to check McMurphy's cleaning assignment personally, she brought a little compact mirror and she held it under the rim of the bowls. She walked along shaking her head and saying, "Why, this is an outrage ... an outrage ... " at every bowl. McMurphy sidled right along beside her, winking down his nose and saying in answer, "No; that's a toilet bowl ... a TOILET bowl. ~ Ken Kesey
Poop In Toilets quotes by Ken Kesey
You have to accept the fact that sometimes you are the pigeon, and sometimes you are the statue. ~ Claude Chabrol
Poop In Toilets quotes by Claude Chabrol
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