Pimping Quotes

If I was a locksmith, I'd be pimping that out man. I'll trade you a free key duplication for. That joke made me laugh before I could finish it, which is good, because it had no ending. ~ Mitch Hedberg

Pimping is an art, Whoreson. There are very few pimps in this world who can really take the title of being a pimp. Just because a man gets his money from a whore, that don't make him no true pimp. Real pimps are really rare. ~ Donald Goines

We say we love self
While pimping out our pussy
Yet, our wombs scream help. ~ Sanjo Jendayi

I spent most of my time floating on an inflatable raft in the pristine Mediterranean waters, my big belly curving toward the sun, reading (incongruously) The Autobiography of Malcolm X. It rocked me to my core. Malcolm's story opened a window onto a reality I had ignored. But the greatest revelation the book brought me was the possibility of profound human transformation. I was spellbound by his journey from the doped-up, numbers-running, woman-beating, street-hustling, pimping Malcolm Little to a proud, clean, literate, Muslim Malcolm X who taught that all white people were the Devil incarnate - to his final, spiritual transformation in Mecca. There he met white people from all over the world who received him as a brother, and he realized that "white," as he had been using the word, didn't mean skin color as much as it meant attitudes and actions some whites held toward non-whites - but that not all whites were racist. At the time of his murder, he was anything but the hatemonger portrayed in the American press. Somehow, through the horrors that had been his life, he had become a spiritual leader. How had this been possible? ~ Jane Fonda

If Candy doesn't do it for her, I bet Mrs. Marvin Housby would like the smooth ride of your Woody."
"You're going to get your ass handed to you later. I'm still pissed about you snapping my glasses. Don't even get me started on you pimping me to the blue-hair."
Jillian popped the caps off two bottles of beer, the handed one to Jackson. "I like her. I bet she's a real cougar."
Jackson took a long pull. "I don't know. The whiskers on her chin bear greater resemblance to a wild boar than a cougar. ~ Jewel E. Ann

Facebook is for people, Twitter is for perspective, Google+ is for passion, LinkedIn is for pimping ~ Guy Kawasaki

Are you setting me up?"

"Dear God in heaven, no! She's sworn off relationships with men, so you're safe. Besides, I don't think anything permanent would work with you." She paused. "I was thinking more along the lines of a fling."

"Jesus Christ," Jake muttered, running a hand down his face. "You're pimping me out. ~ Ann Bruce

Maybe she'll be one of the lucky ones who gets to see it from a distance and makes it home in one piece. Maybe I'll be ripping out her spine tomorrow. I hope she makes it home first. It would suck to be killed and reanimated while wearing corporate antennae. Though, it wouldn't be as bad as reanimating dressed like a crab or a taco because you were pimping a new restaurant when you died. There's a difference between a bad death and the universe stopping by to take a great big shit on you. I ~ Richard Kadrey

Here is how you know someone has had a good idea: Other people freely admit to their friends that said idea has changed their lives. Most people today will grant that fire and the wheel are the big two. After that, any attempts to rank the greatest ideas of all time are going to draw lots of argument. You'll have zealots pimping this god or that on the one hand, scientists pimping Darwin on the other, and then practical people pointing at written language and saying, look, fellas, the reason those ideas have gone viral is because someone figured out how to write them down. ~ Kevin Hearne

So they trust in the deity of the Old Testament, an incontinent dotard who soiled Himself and the universe with his corruption, a low-budget divinity passing itself off as the genuine article. (Ask the Gnostics.) They trust in Jesus Christ, a historical cipher stitched together like Frankenstein's monster out of parts robbed from the graves of messiahs dead and buried - a savior on a stick. They trust in the virgin-pimping Allah and his Drum Major Mohammed, a prophet-come-lately who pioneered a new genus of humbuggery for an emerging market of believers that was not being adequately served by existing religious products. They trust in anything that authenticates their importance as persons, tribes, societies, and particularly as a species that will endure in this world and perhaps in an afterworld that may be uncertain in its reality and unclear in its layout, but which states their craving for values "not of this earth" - that depressing, meaningless place their consciousness must sidestep every day. ~ Thomas Ligotti

No more small towns for me. I was going to the city to get my degree in pimping. ~ Iceberg Slim

The self is like a pimping blackmailing chauffeur who gets you from here to there on word lines. ~ William S. Burroughs

Colleges [have] forfeited the responsibilities of in loco parentis and have gone into the pimping and brothel business. ~ Vigen Guroian

Pimping ain't easy ~ Pedro Maia

Pimping was the ultimate power play. My most powerful tools of persuasion however, were charm and sex."~Jesse ~ Jeri Estes

The Disney parks are scripted, and I hate that. Hate it. I think what they are doing down there in Orlando is fun-pimping ... ~ Stephen King

I aint trippen never slicking or slacking on my pimping ~ Wiz Khalifa

Agents are used to the parents pimping. They're not used to the kid pimping. ~ Shia Labeouf

With tractors, you just don't get the feel of tilling that land. So when planting season comes around, I use a hoe. To grow one useful whore, that's the motto of my pimp farm. ~ M.C. Humphreys

I want to say at the outset that I have become ill, insane, as an inmate of the torture chamber behind America's fake facade of justice and democracy. But I am not as ill as I was, and I am getting better all the time. And also, I want to make clear that my reason for starting these notes at a point of personal anguish and suffering is that these experiences marked the end of a corrupt pimp life and were the prelude to a still mauled, but constructive new life. ~ Iceberg Slim

Honestly, I hate Facebook - it has nothing on Myspace. I loved how weird and crappy and wild and trashy it was. Then there was the whole culture of pimping out your Myspace page. I remember spending 10 hours one day learning how to make our Myspace page look more like a message board from the mid-90s. ~ Alex Scally

He darted a guilty look toward his dad. "Will you - get me a bottle of spicy?"
My eyes jerked to his.
"Maybe some barbecue sauce?"
I closed my mouth before a bug flew into it. "Sure." I did not believe this. I was pimping ketchup to the son of the FIB's captain. ~ Kim Harrison

They (Illuminati) pimping you but you too weak to fight, without your manhood I don't see how you can sleep at night ~ K-Rino