Perfectionists Quotes

Key Learning: Shame derives its power from being unspeakable. That's why it loves perfectionists - we're so easy to keep quiet. If ~ Brene Brown

Workaholics don't actually accomplish more than nonworkaholics. They may claim to be perfectionists, but that just mean they're wasting time fixating on inconsequential details instead of moving on to the next task. ~ David Heinemeier Hansson

Know Your Warning Signs That You've Persisted Too Long

Because anxiety causes thinking to get narrow and rigid, it can sometimes cause you to persist too long on certain tasks. Since anxious perfectionists tend to be particular and don't like unfinished tasks hanging over their heads, they can be especially vulnerable to this trap. Know the signs that you need to stop persisting. For example, if you work online, one of your personal signs of overpersistence might be that you've searched a forum for over 30 minutes looking for a solution to a problem and haven't found it. This would be a cue that taking a break from trying to solve your problem is likely to be more effective than banging away at it. Another example might be if you've been trying to convince your partner of something for over 10 minutes. You've explained your point of view several different ways, and you're still at loggerheads.
Define your overpersistence warning signs in objective and specific ways. This will make it harder to ignore them than if your definitions were fuzzy. ~ Alice Boyes

Catch Either/Or Thinking

Anxious perfectionists will typically think "I need to perform flawlessly at all times," with their underlying assumption being "or else it will result in disaster." This is a common type of thinking trap termed either/or thinking. In this case, the either/or is this: Either there is flawless performance or complete and utter failure, and nothing in between.
Not only can this style of thinking make you feel crushed when you don't meet your own ideal standards, but it also often leads to perfectionism paralysis. Take, for example, an artist who sees his future career prospects as becoming either the next Picasso or a penniless flop; this person doesn't see other possible outcomes in between. You can see how this would give the artist a creative block.
For other folks, their hidden assumption may be slightly different: "Either I need to perform flawlessly at all times, or other people will reject me." When I look back at my clinical psychology training, I realize I had this belief at that time. At a semiconscious level, I thought that the only way to prevent getting booted out of the program was to score at the top of the class for every test or assignment.
Ultra-high standards often arise because a person is trying to hide imagined catastrophic flaws. In this scenario, people often think that if their flaws get revealed they'll be shunned, and so the only way to conceal their defects is by always excelling. When people who hav ~ Alice Boyes

My fine friends who are perfectionists, each in their own world where they are petty dictators, could write a perfect bill. Those of us who have grown up and matured ... understand that we have to work together on the big issues. ~ Newt Gingrich

... perfectionists often produce very little. ~ Elizabeth Grace Saunders

Perfectionists are neurotic people. The world is perfectly beautiful in its imperfection. ~ Rahul Karn

Perfectionists demand perfection from themselves first and foremost. ~ Joyce Meyer

A lot of actors are perfectionists, besides merely being egotists. ~ Eric Mabius

Overwhelmed? Delegate. For perfectionists of the world, this is often a challenge. While you may think only you can do it best, you are denying someone else an opportunity to learn when you do everything yourself. Being the bottleneck serves no one, including you. ~ Lisa A. Mininni

Stop Midflow, Rather Than When You're Completely Exhausted or Stuck

As mentioned earlier, anxious perfectionists often run their willpower tanks to absolute empty. One way this manifests is by ceasing work only at the point when you're completely exhausted or stuck. This can make getting restarted on a task very unappealing, because your most recent memory of the task will be of it not going well or feeling exhausted while doing it. We all have recency bias, meaning recent memories tend to be the most salient. You don't want your most recent memory of a task to be of feeling stuck or wiped out from it.
Experiment with what it's like to stop working while you're in the zone and still enjoying a task rather than when you're exhausted and frustrated. Notice whether doing this leads to you making better subsequent choices. For example, better eating choices at night after a hard day. ~ Alice Boyes

The faster you act, the more stable your company becomes and the higher your chances of success. Perfectionists make lousy entrepreneurs. ~ Sean Wise

Tilly was downcast; as with all perfectionists, it was the detail others might not notice that destroyed for her the pleasure of achievement. ~ Elspeth Huxley

Perfectionists are their own devils. ~ Jack Kirby

People often called us perfectionists, but we were not looking for perfection. We were looking for some kind of magic in the music. ~ Paul Simon

Perfectionists often position themselves on the sidelines, from which they point out that nothing is good enough. ~ Rebecca Solnit

We don't think of ourselves as being perfectionists, really. To us it's more about desperately trying to have it sound more or less OK. ~ Donald Fagen

Fear of Trying New Things
High school is a time to figure out your interests. There are many clubs and groups that cover a wide variety of subjects. If you have social anxiety, however, you may be afraid of trying new things.
As we read earlier, many people with social anxiety are perfectionists. When you try something new, there is always a possibility that you won't be good at it. It is much safer to stick with what you know and avoid the possibility that you might fail or embarrass yourself in front of others.
In the future, however, you may regret not taking part in more activities. You may be upset that you did not take advantage of opportunities. Avoiding new activities now creates a pattern of avoidance that can be difficult to break. ~ Heather Moehn

Few perfectionists can tell the difference between love and approval. Perfectionism is so widespread in this culture that we actually have had to invent another word for love. 'Unconditional love,' we say. Yet, all love is unconditional. Anything else is just approval. ~ Rachel Naomi Remen

Conscientiousness

Not every anxious person is conscientious, but because you're reading a CBT-based self-help book, there's a good chance you're at least moderately high in conscientiousness - a personality trait associated with having a strong work ethic and a thorough, orderly approach to tasks. People high in conscientiousness often get particularly great results from learning cognitive behavioral principles and skills. Why? They tend to like the systematic nature of a cognitive behavioral approach. They do well because they work hard to understand themselves and are diligent in applying their learning to their lives. Anxious people sometimes underestimate how conscientious they are, so make sure you give yourself enough credit for your conscientiousness.
It's important to understand that conscientiousness is not the same thing as perfectionism. For example, perfectionists might spend so long trying to make something "just right" that they don't have any willpower left over for other important tasks. Perfectionism and conscientiousness tend to be associated with opposite outcomes. For example, in a study of older adults, perfectionism was associated with an increased risk or mortality. Conscientiousness was associated with a decreased risk. There are big advantages to reducing perfectionism but retaining your conscientiousness! ~ Alice Boyes

Visualize the success, not the failure.

This part is tough for us perfectionists. We have a hard time ever seeing ourselves as winners; our heads tend to go to a place of "Nothing is going right." Don't get hung up on the minutiae. Say what you want, out loud, over and over again. Sound crazy? It works. Before I go onto the competition floor, sometimes I look in the mirror and say out loud, "I want you to do your very best, and I want you to be passionate and be in the moment." Giving myself those marching orders often reminds me to focus on the positive instead of getting lost in what might be wrong (but likely is just in my head). ~ Derek Hough

In the past, my brain could only compute perfection or failure - nothing in between. So words like competent, acceptable, satisfactory, and good enough fell into the failure category. Even above average meant failure if I received an 88 out of 100 percent on an exam, I felt that I failed. The fact is most things in life are not absolutes and have components of both good and bad. I used to think in absolute terms a lot: all, every, or never. I would all of the food (that is, binge), and then I would restrict every meal and to never eat again. This type of thinking extended outside of the food arena as well: I had to get all of the answers right on a test; I had to be in every extracurricular activity […] The 'if it's not perfect, I quit' approach to life is a treacherous way to live. […] I hadn't established a baseline of competence: What gets the job done? What is good enough? Finding good enough takes trial and error. For those of us who are perfectionists, the error part of trial and error can stop us dead in our tracks. We would rather keep chasing perfection than risk possibly making a mistake. I was able to change my behavior only when the pain of perfectionism became greater than the pain of making an error. […] Today good enough means that I'm okay just the way I am. I play my position in the world. I catch the ball when it is thrown my way. I don't always have to make the crowd go wild or get a standing ovation. It's good enough to just catch the ball or even to do my ~ Jenni Schaefer

And it's a temptation for any intelligent person, and especially for perfectionists such as the ancients and ourselves, to try to murder the primitive, emotive, appetitive self. But that is a mistake. ~ Donna Tartt

I like difficult people because that means they're perfectionists and they're passionate. ~ Stephanie Sigman

Experimental artists build their skills gradually over the course of their careers, improving their work slowly over long periods. These artists are perfectionists and are typically plagued by frustration at their inability to achieve their goals. ~ David Galenson

Perfectionism is not the same thing has striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgement, and shame. It's a shield. It's a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that's really preventing us from flight. ~ Brene Brown

The real world doesn't reward perfectionists. It rewards people who get things done. ~ Ziad K. Abdelnour

Superb accuracy in water measurement, Jessica thought. And she noted that the walls of the meter trough held no trace of moisture after the water's passage. The water flowed off those walls without binding tension. She saw a profound clue to Fremen technology in the simple fact: they were perfectionists. ~ Frank Herbert

Perfection is an illusion. Yet perfectionists demand it from others while being far from flawless themselves. The margin of error of the human condition is often our greatest area of excellence and discovery. ~ Stewart Stafford

hoarders tend to be perfectionists, that each item they collect is one crucial part of an ideal world they are ever creating for themselves. ~ Kimberly Rae Miller

Question the Thought "Failure is Just for Losers"

A failure-related thinking error that anxious perfectionists sometimes make is thinking that failure is just for losers. If you have this thinking bias, try this thought experiment:
Experiment: Think of a highly successful person you admire. It can be anyone, from Oprah to someone you actually know.
What failures has this person experienced in areas where he or she is generally successful? Has a businessperson you admire made some bad investments? Has your favorite actor made a movie that lost money? Has your favorite musician had an album flop?
You may be able to think of examples and failures off the top of your head, or you may need to do some online research or read a biography of that person. Make sure the examples are relevant to the person's core domain of success. A superstar chef opening a restaurant and failing is more relevant than an actor opening a restaurant and failing.
After you've done the thought experiment, ask yourself, "What's an alternative thought that's more realistic and less harsh than 'Failure is just for losers'?"
Alternate option: Ask mentors (people you actually know) about examples of their failures. Ask them what they learned from the experiences. You could also ask your mentors for examples of failures that have happened to prominent people in your field. They might be more willing to volunteer this information than to talk about their own failures. ~ Alice Boyes

While excellence is a wonderful ideal, perfectionism is a dysfunctional belief system. Many people openly admit that they are perfectionists, which is really an unconscious cry for help. Being a perfectionist is really stating that whatever we attempt to do will never be good enough. This is due to a mistaken belief that we are flawed and unlovable. ~ Christopher Dines

You know, the whole thing about perfectionism. The perfectionism is very dangerous. Because of course if your fidelity to perfectionism is too high, you never do anything. Because doing anything results in ... it's actually kind of tragic because you sacrifice how gorgeous and perfect it is in your head for what it really is. And there were a couple of years where I really struggled with that. ~ David Foster Wallace

I had no idea what I was walking into, and the years and years of hard work it would take. I felt like an outsider and like it was never going to happen. But even if I would have known, I think I still would have done it. Dancers are perfectionists, and that's what keeps us going and growing. ~ Misty Copeland

Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitudes of measurements it invites the attention of perfectionists. ~ Heywood Hale Broun

Streamline Your Focus Instead of Jumping From Unfinished Project to Unfinished Project

Although it seems contradictory, anxiety-related perfectionism can cause people to persist too long on some tasks and leave other projects unfinished. Perfectionists who are intolerant of uncertainty often jump from project to project. They might start multiple business plans, grant proposals, job applications, movie scripts, stand-up routines, craft projects, or novels, and not finish any of them. They may sour quickly on an idea when their self-doubt starts to creep in rather than stay with the idea long enough to realistically judge it's potential.
If you bounce from idea to idea, it could very well be because it's hard for you to tolerate your uncertainty about whether the idea you're working on is going to pan out. If you have a habit of not finishing things, you're likely to be better off sticking with a project and finishing it, instead of jumping to another project when you start to feel unsure.
To help you be less tempted to jump around, reduce your exposure to excessive information and alternatives. ~ Alice Boyes

Reaching for the stars, perfectionists may end up clutching at air. ~ David D. Burns